Looking back upon my old chapters, I'm noticing a few places where I could have done better. I guess I should answer a few questions you're probably having about this new 'verse. If I can put it lightly, this universe is different from what you're probably expecting. If I can state one difference between this universe and a few other fanfics, this isn't quite limited to Nirn, daedra planes, aedra planes, and Halkeginia.

Also, the characters may be slightly different than normal. Why? Because whenever you get involved in cosmic politics, you either go mad, terribly depressed, or other such trauma(If the backstory I created last chapter was used in the original, it would've made her 15% more sympathetic. Raising her from "abusive stuck-up rude b!tch" to "slightly troubled abusive stuck-up b!tch"). Your favorite 'kiin has observed quite a few worlds, and studied their sciences and advancements. He has even saved a few from extinction when enough tragedy has happened to them. Therefore, he isn't just the "multitool magic" horse everyone may be expecting.

Also, while it would be cool(boring) to have a demi-god as a familiar, there just wouldn't be enough fight scenes to pour the sauce in. SO, I have an excuse(ahem, REASON) as to why he doesn't peacefully resolve everything using his invasive mind reading. He adopted a mortal(by daedra standards) form and is trying to have fun in this new world. Because, really, why else would he be there? Besides the possibility of learning what happened to the dwemer, of course. Also, I apologize for not stating what tone Louise was using, or the faces she made. I COULD just pass it off as this whole thing taking place from 'kiin's perspective and him not really noting things like that, but that's just lazy and bad. Characters I write will naturally start sucking. I'm going to edit those past chapters once this baby is posted. Promise(lie).

Disclaimer: I don't own the Elder Scrolls franchise or the Familiar Of Zero franchise.

Whoa. I think my sanity just started coming back for a second there. Gotta fix that.

*Eats snickers bar*

LET'S DO THIS YOU DAMN DIRTY JETSKIING MOLERATS! I'M GOING TO WASH YOUR WHITES WITH YOUR REDS AND BURN YOUR CLASSICAL MUSIC COLLECTION! I'M GONNA PUT THE TWINKIES COMPANY OUT OF BUISNESS AND BREAK UP THE BEATLES! I'M GONNA MAKE A TYPE OF MUSIC EVEN WORSE THAN RAP! IT'S GONNA SOUND LIKE OPTIMUS PRIME HAVING CONSTIPATION ISSUES! I'M GONNA PROMOTE EQUAL OPPURTUNITY RASCISM! I'M GONNA MAKE EDUCATION AVAILABLE WORLDWIDE! I'M GONNA EAT THE HEAD OFF A GUMMY BEAR AND SH!T DOWN HIS NECK!

Better?

Better.

Louise had hesitated to ask anything. She wasn't sure she wanted to know the answers to any of the questions running through her head. This… aura, the room possessed… it wasn't like anything she had felt before. She felt like this place was protecting her from something, but she could only guess what that could be. Something was there, though, and was watching her.

"What are you? And where am I?" The girl named Louise had a great number of chaotic, instinctive, unreasonable thoughts flowing through her brain. It was to be expected, though. She was no machination of the usurpers, no soul of the fading flames, and not a changed life from the plagued.

In fact, everyone he could sense here didn't have even have anything on par with a grand soul. It was strange. Every intelligent creature had grand souls, but these… things didn't. As if they were only slightly smarter, if more attuned with their magicka, animals. Which is always true of dominant animals, but still. It was very off-putting.

Yet again that raspy and muffled voice entered her head. It sounded, terrifyingly, slightly more like her own voice now. 'I am an old soul, putting it simply. And you are at the Tristain academy of magic right now.'

She found this very hard to believe, but the words had a type of honesty she couldn't deny. What was going on? Did she get knocked out by her explosion? Was she dreaming right now? No, dreams were an experience. You woke up whenever you knew what was happening was impossible. But she knew, whatever was happening right now couldn't have been some imagination created from the inner parts of her mind. No, it must be something else. It would do her good to try and find out what this whole… experience was about.

"Well, sir Ulmaarmul," Shivers went down her spine at remembering how he had said the name, "could you tell me more about why I'm here? Or… why you're here?" Whatever this thing was, it seemed intelligent enough to reason with, and not quite evil enough to want to tear out her throat. Which was good, because otherwise she would have urinated and screamed for help. Which wasn't what a noble did, no matter what. That was the rule of steel, and that rule topped all others, with few exceptions.

'I thought you would never ask. You are aware of the summoning circle, correct? The one you used to lure me here?' The voice sounded slightly aggravated when it had used the word 'lure'. Mild as it might have been, she felt a gut-twisting feeling in her stomach that she was going to die then and there, before that immediately was washed away in a wave of curiosity and, dare she say it, happiness.

"I summoned you? Wow! I don't know what you are, but I'm proud to have such a powerful… soul! As a familiar!" She had never felt so proud in her life, and he knew it. He must have been getting sloppy in the subtly he used in his illusion spells if she could tell he was that strong. It wouldn't be nice to bring her dreams crushing down on her just because he got sloppy. However, unless her mind was self-deluding…

'In a way, yes, you did summon me. And, yes, I would not mind protecting you and the rest of the spawn in your world. However, I wish to make one thing clear. I am your greater, mortal, and I expect to be treated as such.'

If he listened closely, he could've heard the exact moment her pride deflated and her anger had consumed her, apparently not hearing the word 'mortal' used in his speech.

"H-HOW DARE YOU SPEAK LIKE THAT TO A NOBLE, YOU-" Her words were filled with a confidence she didn't have, dreading the effects of what would happen to her when she realized what she was doing halfway through. She quieted down and started apologizing "I'm sorry! I didn't realize what I was doing until I was halfway finished! I'm sorry, I'm so-"

'It's alright. There's no need to apologize, little one. I just ask that you respect me, and treat me like you would a saint, or how you would a Rhyme dragon. With respect. You summoned me, but I could leave anytime I wished. In fact, unless you agree to my contract, you can be certain I'll just study the ruins here left by the deep ones and be on my merry way.'

Wait a minute. Her familiar was going to bind her with a contract? What kind of dark sorcery was this?

The voice replied in a fragmented, rasping voice. 'No, no, child! That's not a contract! That's a Kyne rune! A contract is a mutual agreement between two souls that wish to work together. No magic involved, only the good will and agreement of two parties. That being said, you may want to read what the contract's contents are.'

Louise was very curious about this new form of contract. No magical involvement? And it still allowed her to get a familiar? Maybe she could forgive this strange soul for threatening to leave her and calling her out on her short stature. Twice. Not to mention severely damaging her pride as a noble. Then again, he seemed to know a bit about runes, so perhaps he was an old and powerful mage…

That name, though…

"Alright. What is this contract like, then?"

A fragmented, distorted cloud of hissing blue fire and smooth, solid rays of green had appeared in front of her, before imploding into a purple and black sphere that slowly faded away, revealing a scroll that unraveled itself nonchalantly, exposing the contract for her eyes to see.

THE_AGREEMENT_OF_LOUISE_VALLIERE

By signing this contract, I, Louise Valliere, agree to recognize my familiar as a self-aware and intelligent being, and as such, I will respect his rights, and respect him, as a noble. I, therefore, cannot accept responsibility for his actions, and I shall respect his decision if he wishes to disobey an order. Likewise, I, Ulmaarmul Nehviir, will agree to respect my summoner, Louise Valliere, as a noble, and I shall serve her whenever I agree with an order, and I shall swear to keep her soul safe from all of those who would kill her. I shall offer my assistance in times of great need and despair, and provide warning when danger draws near.

By signing below, you agree to the terms listed above.

X_ X_Ulmaarmul_Nehviir_

She had stared at the scroll for fifteen seconds before breaking into a cold sweat. This was exactly the format of contracts used between the rhyme dragons and the first humans that walked Gallia! And didn't he say he wished to be treated like a rhyme dragon? So she summoned an extinct species of dragon? A dragon that could use absurdly powerful magic? This… usually didn't end well for the human that agreed to their contracts. Still, the contract didn't really say anything ominous, nor did she summon him in a quest for power. Perhaps it was banished somewhere and wanted to go back to his homeland.

'To be honest, I've just been bored for the past six months, and this place caught my interest.'

Well, that was awfully blunt and unsophisticated.

Wait. That sounded like a response. But she didn't say anything to him…

"You can hear my thoughts?!" Louise shrieked. If that was true then she would shrivel up and die in shame. A noble that couldn't use magic, a noble who took the life of another noble, and not to mention her… not going to think about it. The princess of Tristain should not be thought of in such a way. It is dishonorable to the highest degree.

The voice spoke again, even more similar to her own voice. 'Yes, mortal, I can hear them. I know of your secrets, but rest assured, until the time comes where you wish to tell them, not a single soul will know besides you. And your disability to control magic may be useful to you in the future, if you choose to allow it to be. But this is not what I wish to discuss right now. I can assure you I have no malicious intentions, but if you find these conditions unappealing, I shall not hesitate a moment to leave you without a familiar to call your own if you don't sign my contract.'

These words had no audible ill will or contempt for her. The dragon just appeared to be letting her know what would happen if she disagreed with this dragon soul.

It really frustrated her that she was so powerless compared to her own not-quite familiar, but that stood small compared to the fear that had been writhing at the corner of her mind since she found herself in this dark, impossible room made out of bones and dried blood.

"Very well, dragon. I accept these terms. Do you have a feather and some ink?" She couldn't write very well if there was nothing to write with.

'Unfortunately, I don't. But there is something you can write with in the corner to the bottom left of you.'

She looked to the left, where a room connected the other six through its corners. She couldn't tell which corner was bottom left of her, but there was a blue glow in one of the places where geometry failed to work logically. She walked, carefully, over to the glow. When she was halfway there, a dark, purple mist started creeping in slowly through the dried blood and steaming in through the gelatinous green… sea-vines that she thought was only for decoration.

She had no idea what was going on, but it probably wasn't good.

'I would hurry on over to that blue thing, if I was you.'

She didn't need to be told that, but she quickened her pace anyways. Her breathing was becoming more labored, her heart felt like it was slowing down, and her spine felt like it was fighting against fishing line. This whole experience was terrifying her and, for the first time, she truly feared death. She felt her very being slowly swirling away from her. She had reached the glowing blue thing, which appeared to be a very sharpened and thin bone of some sort, with thorns akin to a rose, but placed so that anyone could grab it without having them dig into their hand. It felt extremely lightweight and strong in her hand. Despite her very weary and weakened state, she had enough wit about her to ask a question.

"What do I do with this?" Louise had questioned, with a tone matching those of a rabbit's eyes when it had collapsed from running too much, and found its predator striding towards it casually.

'Go back to the contract with that in hand, and I'll tell you.' It had simply stated. He wished to know how much of this primitive form of magicka she, in practical terms, had, and this was a great way to test her limits, with the added bonus of getting a new type of common-level soul to eat if he was wrong about her. Which he had a 30% chance of, he estimated.

She had hurried back to the scroll as fast as her heavy and numb feet could take her. Her legs gave out a few meters away from her intended target. She would have to crawl the rest of the way there.

Damn, she knew biting her nails to stubs wouldn't have helped her summoning any.

Pushing onwards, she reached out with extended fingers and a tightly clenched fist, which drew blood into the bone she was grasping. Her body was growing ever heavier, her heart beating slower, and her lungs only worked because she forced them to, something which she had never done before. The pain she was experiencing was numb, only a stinging that was constant whenever she touched the floor or moved her hands. The muscle tendons in her left hand was nearly shredded, but like everything else, that was more unresponsive and cold than it should have been.

Before long, she had reached the contract.

"Wh…what should… *heav- GACK - KUH-HUH- KRIIP RO- sprit" She wasn't able to finish the sentence, her lungs were ruptured and bleeding from having so much of her Magicka drained, which, Ulmaarmul had noted, regenerated very slowly, and seemed to be a necessary part of these types of humans' biology. Strange, that nobody knew that.

'Would you kindly use the bone and your blood like you would a feather and ink, and sign your name on the blank line?'

She had few thoughts running through her head at that moment, but she understood that if she didn't write her name, she would die. The bone was already covered in blood from her trek, so the only thing left to do was sign her name. How had this summoning take a turn for the worse so quickly? Why did this soul want her dead? What was she dealing with? For all of these questions, she found few answers.

So she simply took the needle, and wrote her name with her last few breaths.

In her last moments before death she heard a voice speaking to her.

'I'll let you go back to your original body, now. Congratulations on your new familiar, Louise.'

p%#*FB325enm

Besides that horrendous noise, a warning of Daedra, and Tabitha losing her massive lunch(nobody knew how such a small girl could fit all of that food in her stomach), everything seemed to be going along as predicted for Zero's summoning. The summoning had failed, and an explosion of black ash and soot had caked the barriers of earth, and thick grey smoke had covered the area around the summoning circle.

Now, most mortals are stupid, can we agree? Well, their spawns are even dumber.

Regardless of the fact that they had heard the word "Daedra" just a few seconds before the summoning had taken place, they had assumed she failed regardless.

Before the smoke had cleared, jeers, taunts, and unkind words were slung towards their residential failure of a noble, Louise.

"Just like old times, eh, Zero?"

"You've improved quite a bit, Zero! I think there was more ash in that explosion!"

"Can't even summon a proper familiar right! You truly are worthy of your name, Zero!"

There were many more barbed words spoken, but Louise cared not of their taunts and insults, and simply waited patiently for the smoke to disappear. She knew she had summoned one of, if not the best familiar here. She was excited and nervous at the same time. She was afraid, sure, and she just had a near-death experience, sure, but the harder you worked for something, the greater it ended up being. She had a feeling that the nightmare she was just put through was a test, and she had passed with flying colors. That, and she was very curious about what her familiar looked like.

A crackling sound erupting from within the cloud of ash had rendered the rest of the students silent. The ash started to spin and rise, expanding outwards into a cyclone formation. The sounds of fast winds was heard by all, ripping through the opposing air that tried to flow normally in its pathway. Gradually, the cyclone of ashes started illuminating themselves, a slow spread of glowing violet infecting the pieces of charred grass and burnt dust, giving it a terrifying, beautiful aura. A few moments later, after all of the ashes and remains had turned that ghastly shade of amethyst, they had burned up in a bright green wall of fire, razing the ground to a smooth ebony floor, and leaving nothing obstructing their view of the figure standing in the middle of the summoning circle.

In the middle of the now-lifeless ground, there stood a tall figure, clothed in a most unusual fashion. It appeared to be a grand cloak fit for an emperor, but yet, it lacked any of the prestige and class associated with nobility, nor did it touch the floor. It was worn and tattered, yet without any stains to indicate he'd worked as a commoner. There was no dirt or dried mud to indicate he had traversed anywhere, nor was there any blood to indicate he had seen battle. The robe concealed his hands and head masterfully, yet surely he had no intention of hiding his identity, seeing as his robes were a decaying-dandelion yellow, something which would definitely attract attention wherever he went.

The hooded familiar turned its head towards his new master, snapping everyone out of their trance of this man in a strange robe. The gaze of the hooded man never faltered or looked away, or if it did, there was no way to tell. This set off a few warning signs in professor Colbert's head, making him ever-more convinced that this was, indeed, a daedra lord. He spoke up, making sure to carefully word his sentence in a way that would not anger this daedra.

"Miss Valliere, would you please complete the summoning ritual? The contract needs to be completed soon." He had tried to make the wording sound as daedric as possible without alarming his students. He knew he could take on this monster if he wished, but there were students around, and no reason to start a mass panic or inquisition yet.

"Oh, r-right away, professor!" She turned back to the cloaked man and, almost as if they were communicating the entire time, the man in the yellow robe nodded, yet… there were no words spoken. The mind knows the difference between strange and dangerous, yet that did little to help the chills going down the spines of the students and the whimpering of the mammalian and intelligent familiars.

Louise had tried drawing a breath, but the air seemed thinner than usual, so it was more difficult than it should have been. She gathered all of her energy into her voice, which seemed to work. She raised her wand

"Pentagon of the five elemental powers!-"

If anyone was paying attention, they would have noticed the clouds becoming a slight shade grayer. But nobody in the academy was paying attention to the clouds.

"Grant your blessings upon this familiar!-"

If anyone had been a conjurer, they would have felt the raw, primal power of the hundreds of human souls that resided within the clothing. But nobody here knew conjuration magic.

"And bind it as my own!"

She had lowered her wand, and the hooded figure bowed down. She pushed back the hood which, she noted, felt like cold rust and smooth cobwebs. She pushed it back until she saw the mask. It was beautiful, but it felt terrifying. It was as if you took a child's doll and casted its face with the purest porcelain, but the doll's face was crafted specifically to hold all the features of a human skull. She couldn't quite understand how the mask was made, but the voice told her she shouldn't think about it too hard, which was probably for the best.

She gathered her will and strength, and, resisting the urge to scream, kissed the burning(cold?) skull, completing the contract. Nearly instantly, a rune had appeared on the back of the yellow robes this man wore. It was blurry and fuzzy, and looking at it too long gave the old professor a headache, who instinctively turned away from it. He knew he would have to study the runes, but dear brimir he didn't want to.

CCCCCRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKKK! Pit. Pat. Plitplatplit-

Thankfully, he wouldn't have to. Unfortunately, it was raining.

"Everyone! Class shall be dismissed for the rest of the day! Please head to your dorms immediately!"

Mumbles and ramblings of disappointment, frustration, worry, confusion, annoyance, and poorly disguised fright went through the crowd as they stalked back to their dorms. There were two people still standing back at the glassed ground. Louise gazed at the hooded figure again. There was just something not right about that… familiar. She felt like she was too…calm, around this robed man. She should've had a mental breakdown about three times today, but she hadn't. It wasn't entirely unwelcome, but…

'If you have questions, I'll answer them later.'

She nodded. As dreading as she was of these answers, at least her uncertainties would be put to rest. After all, the idea of a corpse being her familiar just didn't match up with everything she had experienced so far. Her head was reeling at the possibilities of what her familiar could be.

She started striding towards the void tower, where her dorm awaited, familiar grazing the ground behind her as he followed.

How amusing, to think that this scene is so similar to the night she died by her own hands. She was so depressed then. Now she's all full of hope. The weather has a sweet sense of irony here. I like it.

IIIIIIIIIII'MMMMMM BBBBBBAAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

Guess who's back? Back again? I'm back. Tell a friend. And your pets, if you have any. Just not the milk-men or the cops. So, you've probably been wondering what I've been doing besides chewing ass and debating(which I am a master at*), and so I'll tell you what I HAVEN'T been doing. I haven't been hardshipping touhou characters, I wasn't looking for inspiration for my character, I wasn't punching babies in the face and giving their mothers coupons for diapers, I wasn't exporting illegal copies of hot and steamy koala on stormtrooper jetpack wrestling action, and I most certainly wasn't drugging my milkshakes with aphrodisiacs.

So I was checking out this anime, called Nyarko-san(CthuNyark and MaHasta OTP), right? So I got to thinking, 'hey, this yellow shota, what's he based on?'. Well, chicken-tenders, let me tell you something. He's the king in yellow. GUESS WHO'S COMIN TO TOWN(Or the inspiration of, at least)!

You know how in dawn of war, there's the SPHESS MAHREENS? It sounds similar to the spice marines. Spice girls. But marines. They'll tell you what they want, what they really-skip-

I WANNA, I WANNA ZIG-A-ZIG-EMPRAAAAHHH!

Btw, If you're confused by the italics at the end, it's not reminiscing. He experiences time non-linearly. Yeah. When I said not human, I flanking MEANT it.

*That was a fishing joke, guys. Master-baiting**.

*That, however, was a masturbating joke*.

*EVERYBODY'S A PERVERT ON THE INTERNET, MWEHEHEHEHE!

*Did you know there's an anime about FISHING?! AND IT'S GREAT? It even has decent yaoi subtext between the characters! But anyways, since you took the time to read this, I want to thank you all for reading this, and for waiting for the time between updates. It really does mean a lot to men(KEEPING THAT TYPO ERROR), though I can't really express my happiness and thanks through the interturtles. I have, in fact, been reading my reviews, and though criticism is in short supply(which is frustrating, but I'll try to improve), I'm glad to finally give something back to the internet I've loved for the past 7(Whoops, been longer than that since 2003!)-past decade, and to finally be a part of the community I've watched with pride in my tentacles. You all rock. Gimme kisses.