Hello, this is my first SVU story, so pardon any OOC moments in m story, please!

Please remember, this is a M rated SLASH! That means that this is not for the sexually uncomfortable or the homophobic ass-hole (which, if you are either of these, you probably shouldn't be watching SVU anyway)!

Fin knew he was home, which was why he became increasingly agitated when the man wouldn't answer his door. The detective didn't want to use the key his partner had given him 'for emergencies only' because he had been told that said partner would 'cut off any of his favorable extremities and string them up like a wind chime' if the key was used otherwise.

After a second of consideration, Fin pulled the key from his pocket.

"Hey, man, I know you're here!" Fin yelled as he closed the apartment door behind him.

The detective was met with only silence.

"Munch, where you at?" Fin stayed silent, listening for any sound the barren apartment had to offer him, which was none. The detective's irritation was beginning to turn to worry as the man went from room to room searching for his partner.

He was only there because of how Munch had been acting that day. His normally irrational, volatile partner had been stoic and distant. Fin had deliberately tried to goad him on throughout the day, but was met with only curt nods and short replies.

"Munch, you son of a bitch, where are you?" Fin groaned as he sat heavily on the immaculately made bed.

Then, he heard a faint noise, one so quiet he had to strain to pick it up. He listened until he felt certain it was coming from the bedroom closet.

"Munch?" Fin whispered, pushing open the wooden door. His frustration mounted as he peered through the many suits and saw no Munch. However, as he listened, he was certain the noise was coming from the closet.

Fin pushed the suits aside so he could get a full view of the back wall. After what felt like forever, he was finally able to see the smallest of hairline fractures in the plaster. He pushed on the spot and was able to see the outlining border of a square. With a little effort, the detective was able to pull the detached piece from the wall.

The noise hit him hard; it was deafening and it took him a second to realize what it was.
Voices, voices he didn't want to remember. They were voices that had haunted his dreams and corrupted his sleep.

He heard his own voice too:

'Baby, I need you to tell me what happened.'

'No, I don't want to!'

'I know, I know baby, but I need you to tell me what your Daddy did to you.'

Fin sat, numb as he listened to the child's voice tell him exactly what her Dad had done to her.

After a minute, Fin remembered why he was there. He didn't want to go into the room; he didn't want to see what was happening, but he found himself crawling through the opening anyway.

Fin was met with the back of a large armchair, only a few tufts of gray hair sticking out over the top told the detective his partner was there. The room was bathed in the dull light of a desk lamp. The walls were covered with photos, photos of bodies, some whole, some not. In the corner sat a squat little television; Fin knew that he was on the screen, the little girl seated across from him.

Slowly, Fin circled around to face his partner.

Munch was very still, his eyes closed behind those large frames. The thin lips were set in a line.

"Munch?" Fin asked uneasily, he was starting to feel overwhelmed by the horrific nostalgia.

Munch didn't move.

"John?" Fin raised a tentative hand and placed it atop his partner's shoulders.

Munch came to with a start, causing Fin to retract his arm with uncharacteristic fear.

"Odafin, what are you doing here?" Munch asked, dazed and confused.

Fin didn't answer; he was starting to feel the beginnings of panic creep into his chest as he felt trapped in the horrible room.

"Odafin, why are you in my house?" Munch asked again with more force, which only caused Fin to retreat farther into himself. The younger detective was having trouble thinking, he was starting to shut down, which was something he hadn't done since he was a child. He couldn't breathe; all he could see was the photos of victims on the wall, all he could hear was the voice of that little girl.

Munch moved towards Fin, but Fin moved away until his back hit the wall. Munch was worried, he had never seen Fin like this, so scared and overwhelmed. Fin sunk down the wall until he hit the floor, where he pulled his knees against his chest and closed his eyes tight.

"Fin," Munch tried, but the smaller man didn't move. "It's okay, Fin, breathe, okay?" Munch said soothingly as he hurried to switch off the video. "Fin, it's off now, it's okay."

Fin still said nothing.

Eventually, Munch was able to lead his partner out of the room and onto the bed.

Fin sat both rigid and limp all at once; his back and legs were straight, but his head was cocked oddly and his arms were trying to grab hold of something, be it the sheets or his own pant leg.

"Do you want some tea? Coffee?" Munch tried desperately, but to no avail. When Fin still refused to speak, Munch settled for sitting beside his partner and waiting.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." Munch said after what felt like forever. Fin grunted weakly, which Munch found oddly reassuring. Munch settled back in silence again for a bit, deciding not to test Fin's limits.

After only about ten more minutes, Munch was already getting rather irritated with the still silence, so he lifted his arm and set in softly on his Partner's shoulder, trying to get a reaction.

Fin jerking away violently was not the reaction Munch had been hoping for, but it seemed to bring Fin around anyway.

"Don't touch me." Fin said with an icy undertone Munch had never heard from his partner before.

"Okay, Okay, no touching." Munch said, holding up in arms to try to calm the younger man.

"What kind of sick freak are you?" Fin spat, "Do you get off on that?" He gestured towards the closet, "Is that why you work in SVU, so you can add to your collection?"

"No!" Munch retorted angrily.

"Really? Because that's what it looks like to me!" Fin barked, disgust burning in his dark eyes.

"That's not it and you know it!" Munch said warningly.

"I don't know!" Fin scowled, "Obviously I don't know anything about you!"

"Obviously!" Munch spat back.

They fell back into a heavy silence; Fin's breathing was the only thing that filled the room.

"I do it so I don't feel anything." Munch said quietly after a while.

When Fin didn't reply, he continued,

"You've seen how I get on cases, they get to me, and I can't deal with it anymore. Every case takes a little bit out of me, and I don't have much left. So, I figured if I immerse myself in," be gestured towards the closet, "that, then I'll start to feel... Numb. Then, at least, every case won't hurt so much."

Fin blinked at the man, "That's stupid."

Munch started, he felt hurt by the comment.

"You're a good detective because you do feel," Fin continued, paying no mind to Munch's reaction, "If you numb yourself to it all, John, then who'll help those victims? Me? You need those feelin's, I need those feelin's, it's what makes our team work."

"Please," Munch frowned behind his glasses, "the victims always love you, the women always fall for you, the children always attach to you. Not me, I'm just a grumpy old man."

"Yes, you're a grumpy old man," Fin smirked, "but you're a grumpy old man who cares about the victims with all he has; they see that."

"That's easy to say when you've got the women swarming you like flies." Munch frowned, but playfully.

"Well, they've got bad taste, and bad judgement, and a bad..." Fin caught himself; he turned away from Munch in favor of staring at his shoes.

"A bad what?" Munch pressed with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Nothin', don't bother yourself with it." Fin muttered, standing up and straightening his pants.

"Oh, but now I'm curious now, a bad what?" Munch asked, standing up too.

"I said drop it." Fin said curtly.

"Come on, I thought we were bonding," Munch smirked, "what aren't you telling me, Odafin Tutuola?"

Fin faltered for a second at the sound of his full name, "Nothin'." Fin was halfway to the door of the apartment now.

"All those women have a bad what?" Munch asked, pulling on the sleeve of Fin's shirt so the man had to turn to face him.

"Gay-dar!" Fin said sharply before yanking his sleeve away from Munch and walking quickly out the door, leaving Munch feeling suddenly very confused and very alone.

Please review! (If you're going to critique my grammar or complain about "sensitive subjects", just know that I don't particularly give a shit so I'm gonna save you the trouble and tell you to just NOT BOTHER ME)

All my love!