A/N: I don't know where this came from, I just thought of it. I found the "This isn't how I pictured our first date to be like" comment Ms. Blake said on the show a little creepy.

"Did you notice that Ms. Blake was different today?" Stiles asked, his cellphone pressed tightly between his ear and his shoulder. He gazed down at the list in front of him, scribbling a new thing down, before continuing, "I made a list of possible explanations. She's either possessed by a demon, had her heart ripped out by a witch who is now using her body as a little home, or she's being controlled by a bug that took refuge in her brain."

Lydia huffed. "Is this why you called me, Stiles? Because our teacher was happy?"

Stiles frowned. He couldn't believe Lydia was taking this so lightly, when things change in Beacon Hills, it's never because something good has happened.

"Lyds, It's not as simple as that, and you know it," Stiles said, shifting his body so he could stare down at his list. Maybe abducted by aliens who are now using her body to grow their babies was a little far fetched, but some of his ideas were plausible.

"One," Lydia started, and Stiles knew she was counting them off with her fingers, "Don't call me Lyds, ever, unless you want to wake up in the morning without your testicles. Two, Ms. Blake was happy because she got laid, Stiles, it's as simple as that. Nothing supernatural about it, unless you add in the fact that she slept with Derek. And that leads up to point three, don't call me unless you have something real to talk about." And she hung up on him.

Stiles grunted and started down at his phone, before tossing it to his bed. Derek and Ms. Blake? Stiles couldn't believe it, but then again, they were both attractive, and beautiful people herd together. Stiles' said so himself.

But his English teacher? Is there anywhere in Stiles' life that was Derek free?

His bedroom window slid open, and Derek jumped in. Question answered with a big fat no.

"My English teacher, really Derek?" Stiles asked as the other male stood. As if his words triggered a response, Derek crouched down in alarm, his eyes quickly scanning the room, before coming to rest on Stiles.

"Why? Is she here?" He asked quickly, and Stiles held up his hands.

"Woe there buddy," He said calmly, "why would my English teacher be in my house?" Derek straightened a little, and Stiles narrowed his eyes. "Are you... scared? Of Ms. Blake?"

Derek tensed, his face looking uncomfortable, as he dug into his pocket and pulled out his cellphone. "We hooked up two days ago," He admitted, looking almost guilty. "I wasn't really looking for a relationship, and I probably should have told her that before-"

"Is Derek Hale admitting he did something wrong?" Stiles cut him off. Derek glared at him, but he was already digging through his stuff. "I need a camera or something, so I can keep this moment forever."

"But," Derek continued forcefully, "She's called me fifty times, Stiles, and sent me over one hundred text messages. I haven't replied to her once."

Stiles snorted, shaking his head. Derek really was an idiot. "Don't over exaggerate, dude. I'm sure it's not that many, and besides, she likes you. Least you could do is take her out."

Derek shoved his phone under Stiles' face, and he struggled to get a good look at it. Once he did, fifty missed calls flashed a bright red on the screen. Stiles blinked as Derek took the phone away, tapped a few buttons, and showed him the phone once again. Under Ms. Blake's name, 113 new messages scrolled across the screen. Derek tapped one last time on his phone, and gave it back to Stiles.

Our future children should be named Nicholas and Marissa. Those are my favorite names, and can't you just picture a little Nick and Mari Hale running around?

Stiles blinked in surprise, and went back to Derek's inbox, where he found similar messages.

"Dude, you have a stalker," Stiles whispered. Derek snorted.

"No," He drawled out sarcastic, "You don't say." Stiles rolled his eyes and handed Derek back his phone. "I need you to help me get rid of her."

"No way dude, I actually like Ms. Blake, and she's not stalking me, so why would I help?" Stiles rushed out, and Derek's eyes flashed red.

"Because I'm the alpha." Stiles rolled his eyes again.

"I'm not part of your pack," He pointed out, before sighing. "Look, I think she's just coming off too strong. It's not like she can do anything to you, anyways. Fangs and claws magically appear on your body, a helpless human wont be a match for you. I should know. Anyways, the best I can do is tell you to go down to the police station and file a restraining order."

"That's it?" Derek asked, his face set in disbelieving.

Stiles sighed, "That's all it takes, usually, for humans, and since she isn't supernatural, she should back off. If not, go to the police, Derek. Not everything has to be taken care of by us."

Derek doesn't look convinced, but he nods anyways, and goes to the window.

"If she comes up missing or dead, I'm sending my dad after you again!" Stiles called after him, before grabbing his phone and dialing. "Lyds," He said once the phone was answered, "I told you it wasn't normal. Ms. Blake is stalking Derek. Am I the only one who finds this funnier than the time Scott tried to buy condoms and the cashier kept quoting teen pregnancy stats at him?"