Chapter 1

April 10th, 1912

I had heard that the Titanic was rumored to be the biggest and fastest ship ever made. The sheer size of the luxury steamer sparked much anticipation in everyone. Standing here now in front of the Titanic, I couldn't help but feel disappointed. Was that really what everyone was anticipating and waiting for? Yes it was beautiful, but I was expecting something…well, bigger.

My steel prison that was called the Titanic sat silhouetted against the clear sky. The onlookers and soon to be passengers marveled at its sheer size and beauty. I had to acknowledge that it was a beautiful sight to behold. But I would never admit it to anyone, least of all my parents. Standing here against the grandest ship in the world made me feel even smaller than I had felt most of my life. It was impressive really, to see such a massive vessel made by the hands of man. It was frightening, looking at the ship that would take me to America, to my future. A future I had no control over.

My mother and father broke the news to me only months ago. My whole life they were always pestering me about my future and carrying on the name of the Harker family. I wanted no part of it, any of it. Especially if my parents were to be involved, which they would, I could depend on that. They would be with me like they had been from the moment I was born, holding my hand, telling me sit up straighter, smile, be polite, sip your tea, why aren't you wearing a corset?! I was practically living my life by someone else's standards and rules. Which is why I wasn't surprised when they told me how they had planned out my future. I knew it would come eventually, but that didn't make me all the more prepared for it or easier to accept.

February 14th, 1912

It was a chilly February day and the buzz of the Titanic could be heard on everyone's lips. From the poor to the rich, young to the old, everyone was alight with excitement at the progress of the anticipated ship. I was bored with it all. I knew it would pass just like any other new and exciting thing. It was just another fad waiting out its popularity, until the next big enterprise came along. I refused to be a part in any discussion that involved the Titanic. Which is why I was so vexed at what my parents had told me.

I was sitting in the library like I usually did, it was the only place I could go to escape the everyday bore that was my life. I was reading, something that I could do for myself a pleasure I could have for my own, when my father found me to tell me the news that would change the course of my life forever. I didn't realize just how this news would alter my life in more ways than one. He walked in with my mother on his arm. It was incredible how much I looked like my mother. People always brought it up when whenever we were introduced as mother and daughter. You'd think we were a circus attraction the way people would gawk at our similar appearance.

But that was all we had in common. Besides our looks we were stark opposites. As I grew I realized just how different I am from both my parents. We had no common interests or thoughts or opinions. I was utterly alone when it came to my family. I didn't really have many friends I could confide in either. Every time I would try and be-friend a fellow school mate, I learned quickly that my interests and aspirations were one off from all the others. While they were talking about marriage, being a proper lady, and the latest fashion, I was dreaming of far off places and dangerous adventures I could get lost in.

It was all the more apparent to me how different I was from everyone else as I watched my parents enter the library, noses up, backs straight, not a hair out of its proper place. The look on both their faces as they entered the library was so comical, but I dared not laugh. I don't think they'd even been a library before, much less knew that they had one in their very own house.

I placed my book in my lap and sat more poised, if that were at all possible, and gave them my full attention. Just like I was brought up to be, or trained was more like it.

My father spoke gruffly, bristling his mustache. "Violet, your mother and I have thought about this a great deal. And we have both agreed it's high time that you marry and begin your life as a woman."

I felt numb as he told me this, I wasn't surprised, not really, but I couldn't help the hope that I felt that they would just forget and give up on me. I was a fool; I should have known my parents wouldn't give up that easy or at all for that matter.

I seemed to have dosed off because my mother reprimanded me with an irritated voice. "Violet, look at your father when he's speaking with you. And sit up straight dear, it's very unbecoming." My mother had a shrill voice; I don't know how my father managed to put up with it all these years. It drove me bonkers even when she didn't say anything. It was that kind of voice that becomes ingrained in your memory, with no hope of forgetting it.

It used to sadden me, thinking of my parents. I always felt unloved, just a piece in their game of life. I was to be pawned and sold wherever they saw fit. But once I realized that I couldn't care for the kind of people they were anyway, it stopped bothering me. That's the thing about getting older; you start to see who your parents are like as people. And it's not always pleasant. I got mailed to the wrong address.

I chose not to respond to either of my parents, knowing it would only make the conversation longer. I decided long ago to just go with the flow. Even if that meant being pushed and prodded like cattle in the direction they wanted me to go. That was how I saw society anyways, just a bunch of greedy cows dressed in their finest to go herding to dinner parties. The thought used to make me laugh. But now it only saddened me, now I was part of the herd. I had a very vivid imagination as a child; I used to write stories about my own adventures that I wished to go on. It made up for my dull life and lack of friendship. I liked to think that I still kept some of that imagination. I could only write in the dark hours of the morning. If my parents even got a hint of the improper creativity I lost myself in, they'd probably send me off to boarding school. They tried that once, it backfired on them.

I was thinking of one of those adventures as my mother's voice crept into my daydream, interrupting my imaginary alternate life.

"Violet?! Are you even listening to your father?" Now she was really vexed with me. The angrier she got, the higher the pitch of her voice rose as well.

"Yes mama, sorry mama." Was that my voice? It didn't sound like me. God I sounded pathetic.

"Well, as I was saying, it's high time you sought out a husband, get married, start your life as a grown woman." My father loved the sound of his voice, that's why he usually repeated himself. I don't think anyone else notices but me.

"What do you propose I do father? Shall I advertise?" That should shock him, I thought with glee.

"Heavens no! Good gracious, a woman advertising herself in the paper like a common…a uh, a common…"

My father couldn't quite finish his sentence, but I was rather enjoying watching his mustache fluttering with every exasperated breath he took. It took everything in me not to laugh.

My mother steadied him, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Now dear, don't discuss such vile things in front of your daughter. It could dampen her innocence."

Oh please, my parents still think of me as a sheltered child. As if by now I didn't know what a prostitute was or what her profession was. To tell the truth, that was one of my fantasies. Running away to some distant foreign country to become a 'lady of the night', only to be saved from a handsome prince. That was a long time ago though. In my seventeen years my fantasies had matured, I wished more than anything to become a writer.

"Yes, quite right my dear, quite right." My father took another drag of his pipe. The conversation obviously upsetting his demeanor greatly. Honestly, how did my parents manage to conceive me? They were so delicate and…boring.

"Actually Violet", there's that voice again, "We already have someone in mind for you. Your father, as you know, is great chums with Anthony Hawthorne, the great railroad tycoon. Your father and Mr. Hawthorns have been in contact these past few months, and they've both thought it a wonderful idea to introduce you to his son Robert. Your dear father has conversed with this young man on many an occasion and assures me he is quite the gentleman."

And probably richer than God, I thought to myself. What a surprise.

"He lives in America and is deeply invested in the railroad business, just like his father. And is heir to the company. Which brings me to our next point…"

"But," I interrupted my mother trying to make sense of what I was being told "if I do not wish to marry Mr. Hawthorne's son, then there is no obligation on my part is there? What if we don't like each other? I would not wish to marry someone I barely knew or didn't love."

My parents shared a look with each other that I could not decipher. They were obviously anticipating a delighted reaction from me. I knew better, I just wished they did.

My father stole away from his pipe for a moment to fill me in further. "Of course Violet, it is just that we have high hopes for you and Robert Hawthorne and would like to see you to become better acquainted. And then eventually, who knows what will blossom between you two."

"And he lives in America? So I will have to move to America. That is what you two wish?" I couldn't bear the thought of leaving England. As distant as I felt from most people I met, this was my home, the only home I've known. But the thought of finally being released from my parents clutches excited me. I could look at this as an adventure. Finally I would go somewhere on my own and be my own person. But I could tell they weren't telling me everything.

"That is not all that you want to tell me. There's more isn't there?"

My father looked grief stricken as he took my mother's hand. He looked like he was about to tell me something that would shock me. I was always right.

"There is one thing Violet. It grieves me to have to share this burden with my own child, but there is no other way. The past two years we have been in debt. We are now unable to pay our wages and afford the luxuries we have been used to. But it doesn't have to be that way."

He eyed me, waiting for it to sink in. He was hoping I would realize what he was talking about so he wouldn't have to tell me. When I didn't budge he continued.

"Violet, unless you marry Robert Hawthorne, the Harker name will be no more. We will be destitute. Which is why it is imperative that you do everything in your power to do what is right."

"I have no say in the matter?" I tried not to let my voice crack, but I was at my breaking point. Were they really telling me that this was my only option? Marry Robert or live on the streets. How can they put this on me?

"You are to marry Robert. It's as simple as that." The finality in my father's voice angered me to the point of speechlessness. My mind was swimming at this information. One second I was off on an adventure to America, the next I'm being forced to marry into the life I've detested for so long. There was no escape for me.

"And if I refuse?"

"There is no discussion on your part. We are boarding the Titanic to make our home in America."

"Wait! The Titanic? We…?" This was getting worse by the second. How much more could I take?

My mother inched forward on her seat. "We are to board the Titanic in a few month's time, so that you may unite with your future husband. You shall make your home in America!"

I've always been one for words, but at this present time all words escaped me. I must have given my mother the reaction she wanted because she squealed with delight as I realized my mouth was hanging open.

"The, the Titanic?" I was incredulous. I stuttered unbelieving.

"Yes dear! And close your mouth it's very unbecoming. You will unite with Robert and I haven't even told you of the best part!"

What could be worse than me moving to America to marry a man I've never even met before? Unless…they did say 'we'…oh no!

"Your father and I have decided to join you in America! Permanently! Oh won't it be jolly the whole Harker family living in America!"

Oh. My. God. That's it, my life is over. This was the last straw.

I stood from my seat rising in front of my parents so fast I think I almost gave them whiplash.

"No! Please, you cannot make me do this!" I've never pleaded with my parents before but I was desperate.

My mother pulled out her fan, aggressively waving it in front of her face as my father sputtered on his pipe. Before they could get a word in I stood my ground for probably the first and last time. But I had to do it, it was now or never.

"No, I cannot take this anymore! I've gone along with both of your scheming long enough. I will not marry Robert Hawthorne, and I will not live with either of you in America, and I will not board the bloody Titanic! I have lived my whole life doing what you've asked of me. Can't I choose my own future? Make my own decisions?" I sat down blowing out a puff of air, slouching in the most unattractive way I could muster. Which is bloody near impossible in a corset. I waited for my parent's reaction, waiting for the worst. And when the worst came, I felt so stupid and helpless…and trapped.

It was my father who spoke first, my mother was obviously still too shocked that I raised my voice to her. She kept waving her fan and clutching her chest like she was going to faint. My father stood over me, imposingly.

"See here young lady, I will not have you speak to me or your mother that way. Your behavior these past months has been unacceptable. You should know the position were in is dire. I thought you would understand that this was the only way to save our family. You are a selfish, selfish girl. You know you are our last hope in surviving this world."

Yes, I know all too well that we are the richest poor family in England. If it wasn't for my father's gambling and my mother's shopping habits, I would not have this burden put on me. Unless I marry a rich society man, we would surely be living on the streets. Which is what makes what my father said to me next, make me feel all the more responsible.

"Do you want to see your mother work in a mill, or your brother working for the rest of his life doing God knows what? To be orphaned and shunned from all good society?"

My brother. Little Joseph, my anchor to sanity in this crazy world. I was selfish, never once considering how this would affect my brother. Unless I made the sacrifice of marrying for wealth, he would be the one to suffer the most. It made me feel childish really. My problems seemed miniscule compared to what I would put Joe through. I would do anything for him. The one person I cared for when my mother and father could not. We both relied on each other. I made my choice in that moment, with my Joe on my mind. I would do it, for him.

I stood up in front of my father, straitening my dress. My father stood at least a head and a half taller than me. Which made it all the more difficult to look him in the eye. But I had to be brave, for Joe.

"Forgive me father, I forgot my place. I will take full responsibility. I am glad you've found someone for me. I look forward to meeting him. I will join you, mother, and Joe to America on the boat, the Titanic."

Seemingly unfazed by my lack of emotion he leaned forward and pressed a kiss at the crown of my head. It was a forced reaction from him, not an instinctual fatherly gesture. "It's a ship my dear."

With that he walked out of the library. My mother then stood, obviously calm from her previous state and squeezed my shoulders. She has never hugged me before, even as a child. It was always a pat on the head or a squeeze of my shoulders. I preferred the emptiness; anything else from her would be insincere.

She left, giving me a smile, but said nothing. I sat back down staring at the bookcase blankly. I could feel the weight of the shackles that would take me to America. It seemed every day they got heavier, but today they broke my spirit too. The last I had to myself, they broke that last piece that was me. I would not cry though, I never did. What was the point?

April 10th, 1912

My recollection of the day I was made prisoner to this ship, was blown away by the slight tug of my arm. I looked down knowing that little tug. Joseph looked up at me from under his brown cap.

"Violet, I can't see! Where's the ship!?"

His meek voice was barely audible over the crowd of people bustling to and fro getting ready to make sail on the Titanic. I smiled down at him, lifting him in my arms so he could see over the mob of people. He had waited for this day for weeks, his enthusiasm at seeing the Titanic gave me hope for our future. As long as he was with me, I could survive.

"Ah, Violet it's beautiful! Better than I imagined!" I never thought he would think of it as beautiful, but I suppose from a child's point of view it would look incredible. I wish I could see it that way, or see anything like he did for that matter. I could be perfectly content to see him enjoying the things I would have once marveled at. His enthusiasm and naivety was contagious. He always made me smile.

"Just wait until it sets sail, than you can experience the beauty on the vast ocean." I told him cheerily.

"Does it really go as fast as they say? Will it feel like flying?" He was antsy now, ready to board. Unlike myself who dreaded my first steps aboard my cage.

"Well we will just have to see for ourselves. Come on let's get going or else it will leave without us." I said with mock worry.

"No Violet! Hurry!" He jumped to the ground pulling me behind him.

"Joe wait! I don't want to lose you!" He ran through the bustling crowd, quickly becoming swallowed up in the sea of people.

I ran after him through the crowd. The last signal blew through the morning air, signaling the Titanic's departure. I heard my mother behind us.

"Violet, no running! You're a lady act like it!"

I caught up to Joe snagging his coat collar. "Gotcha!"

He squirmed trying to get out the hold I had on him. "Come on, they'll leave without us!"He shrieked.

"Oh no they won't. They wouldn't leave without their most important passenger." He looked thrilled and all the more excited to get on the Titanic.

"Come on, I'll race you." Before I could even move he was off like a flash towards the edge of the dock where they were loading the last of the passengers.

I hurried into a stride behind him so I wouldn't lose him. Holding onto my hat, the breeze of the shore air threatened to take my cap. Disregarding what my mother taught me about what a proper lady should act like, I ripped my hat off running full stride behind Joe. I felt more alive than I had in months, until I heard my mother's voice again.

"Violet I see you! What have I told you? Act like the lady you are!"

Like hell, this was my last week of freedom. I was going to relish every second of it. Damn to all that thought I was a lady. I hid my smirk trying to keep up with Joe as he weaved through people, automobiles, and crates of luggage. The closer we got to the ship the faster he seemed to get. I halted to a stop in front of the walkway that stretched over the water, connecting the dock with an open entrance on the side of the Titanic. I steadied myself, looking up at the massive ship. Up close it looked even bigger. It was unsettling, like it would swallow me whole. The feeling of being locked inside with nowhere to run to, terrified me.

I hadn't thought about it until now, the fear of being enclosed in any space. I should have known this would happen. That's what I get for living my whole life feeling trapped with no way out. Over the years it turned into an actual fear of enclosed spaces. The feeling of no escape is what usually brought me to my breaking point.

Stealing a few moments, I tried to steady my breathing. I gulped my fear down rather hard. I looked forward along the walkway, raising my foot to make the first step to my future. This was it, no going back. The moment I step on this ship it seals my fate in America.

"Violet come on! You're too slow!" Joe said from across the ledge, giving me courage to walk over and meet him. I took my time walking to him. My first step on the Titanic wasn't like I expected. I didn't feel anything. I just took Joe's hand, squeezing it lightly to give me courage.

A/N: Okay, so just a few things I'd like to be known about this story. There will be no appearances by Jack or Rose. It is a story involving Tommy Ryan and an OC, but I don't intend to follow the movie too closely. There will be little hints of similar situations, but I'm trying to do my own thing. I recently became re-obsessed with this movie after the 3D release and I 've had this idea since then. I was really interested in Tommy Ryan's character because he is an example of so many people that went down with the Titanic, and we will never know their story. So this is like my tribute to all those whose story will never be heard. Please read and review, I'd love to hear what you think. Thank you.