All by myself

Glamorous and elegant, an exotic silk-clad beauty reclining on scarlet satin, with only the best trimmings, creating a safe, seductive atmosphere. The only feature that marred the luxurious scene was the desperate sobs issuing from the unmade lips of the beauty. On closer inspection her dark hair was tangled, her face devoid of makeup and her eyes red from weeping.

That last client had been a disaster, a stupid mistake, and though she had kicked him out of her shuttle, though she could make sure he would never be serviced again, she still wept. Her attitude and posture had been unimpeachable, even with her slightly torn dress. She had held herself with seething dignity, her words as cold as the gun in her hand, as she had politely told him exactly what she was supposed to in these situations, adding, as she did so, a few choice off-the-record remarks.

The shock had set in after he'd left. Inara had been scared by a client only once before, with much the same result, but not this badly. The tears were a relief, the shaking not so.

'Serenity' was miles away, the crew off on some job, while she had taken the shuttle and gone. Right now she needed company, but she didn't want to turn to them for it. She didn't want to see the looks on their faces. Kaylee would be all sweetness – but to shatter the image of composure and calm that she had built up? Inara's pride wouldn't let her do it.

Slowly she leaned across and tapped the telephone screen. No one she could trust was in. No one who could relate to her or comfort her. All her 'friends' were gone. The knowledge sent fresh hot tears trickling down her face and she knew that there was no way she could go back to Serenity like this and have to face questions. Instead she tucked her head into her arms and cried.

"Inara! Let me in! Inara!"

The banging on the shuttle door continued.

"Inara, its Mal. You're way past rendezvous."

She stared at the door with loathing. Why did he decide to care whether she was late back today of all days?

"Inara, open up or so help me I will blow torch a way in."

Inara slipped off the bed and went to the shuttle door, pressing the button to unlock it. Mal stood in the doorway, a frown etched between his eyes, irritation traced around his mouth.

"What do you want Mal?" she snapped.

The captain's gaze flared in anger.

"You were late for the rendezvous so…" his eyes flickered over her face, taking in all the telltale signs that Inara was not, in fact, okay. The frown lines deepened and a harsh tone crept into his voice.

"What happened?" he demanded.

Nothing," Inara shrugged, choking back the urge to tell him.

"Don't look like nothing. Looks like a big pile o'something to me." Without compulsion he strode straight into her shuttle.

"Mal!"

He went to the telephone and started pressing buttons.

"No Mal!" Inara gripped his arm frantically, turning him so his eyes met her own panicked ones. "Don't say anything," she pleaded. At that moment Wash picked up and Mal turned back to the screen without uttering a word.

"Is everything all right over there capt'n?" the concerned face of the pilot enquired. Mal's voice dropped to its normal cool tone.

"Wash, everything's fine here. Just been a few delays with the shuttle. Nothing too tricky. I'll assist Inara with fixing it and then I'll return with her. Inform Zoe that there's no need to wait outside with the jeep. She is to return to the ship. Dohma?"

Wash nodded and Mal hung up.

Inara let the tension ease away from her, only to have Mal look at her with a piercing gaze.

"Now tell me everything."

Inara tried to remain angry at his blatant invasion of her privacy but her usual icy rage was beyond her. She summoned up as much hot fury as possible and aimed it a Mal in a few fiery arrows designed to infuriate him so he would leave.

The first barb never left her lips. Mal stood in front of her, solid and imposing, but with such unexpected concern in his eyes that she broke. As he held her gaze she found herself, for the first time, dropping her tear drenched eyes away.

"Go away Mal."

"Now you know that I'm going to be doing nothing like that," he replied nonchalantly. "A member of my crew is upset and therefore I have to contend with the tears, which in turn upsets me and no one likes an upset captain because he's cranky. So it's better for everyone if this issue is resolved and no one is upset. Dohma?"

Inara glared at him. "I'm a member of your crew? I thought I was just a whore." The words like burning wax dripping out of her unmade lips.

Mal's sharp retort was about to trip out when he suddenly paused. Inara could almost see his brain turning everything over, a slight frown wrinkled over his eyes as he thought. It would have been an enjoyable sight to taunt him over, except the circumstances were so unpleasant.

"You had a client this afternoon…"

She stood silent and upright. Broken with tears and shock but still outwardly fierce and beautiful.

Mal raised an eyebrow at her. "He upset you? Insulted you? Left early?"

"Yes Mal," her tone was supposed to be sarcastic but it broke halfway. "He told me I was a lousy whore. Now you know. Get out of my shuttle." Her eyes had filled again and he still wasn't leaving. "Mal! Get the hell…" but he had taken swift strides towards her and caught her arm, not un-gently. She felt her heart quicken but Mal was examining her arm.

"What's this?" he snapped at the bruises of fingerprints. "Did he do this?" Inara just looked at Mal defiantly. "Goram! He did! I'll kill him." His voice was a low hiss of venom. "Did he…?" the question froze as he suddenly became stumped for words. Mal took a deep breath, his body emanating coiled power. "Did he…?" he choked on the words, horror making his tongue heavy.

Inara refused to answer but glared back, their faces inches apart, in a battle of wills. She had never broken in front of him before but she was exhausted from crying and pretending to be strong. Power and protection were flooding out of him over her. She crumpled in front of him, the front crashing to the floor, as tears started to flow again. She tried to turn away but he wrapped his arms around her and held her to him. Exotic fingers clung to his rough, dirt stained shirt as she wept bitterly against him, drawing out comfort and strength. Mal stood still, just holding her, mind boiling up a thousand ways to kill the man. He didn't whisper empty words of comfort, he wasn't sure how, nor did he think she'd appreciate it much. Slowly the sobs subsided and he thought about the huge tear stained patch that she would have left on his shirt. Sobbing females were really not Mal's type. He detested them as weak-willed and manipulative…but Inara…he'd never seen her cry. She'd been shook up bad and he wanted to choke the life out of the culprit.

"He didn't do anything to me," came the small damp whisper. "He wanted…things I wouldn't do. Those clients crop up occasionally but this one got violent." A shudder wracked her body and Mal tightened his grip. "He tried to use force…I reached for the gun, kicked him out." She shuddered again. They stood silent another moment as she enjoyed his solidarity.

Mal's mind was beginning to wander over the small body he held in his arms and he desperately pushed the thoughts away. Inara lifted her head and looked at him and he thought how it was the perfect position to kiss her.

Her heart quickened at his expression, his eyes so intense, so warm. 'Do it' her mind begged, 'Do it!' but it was screaming at him not her and Mal would not take advantage of her in this state. Slowly he released her and took a step back.

"I'll fly the shuttle back." He indicated the bed. "You better rest up."

Another time she would argue with him but for now she was truly exhausted.

As Inara's eyes drifted shut, her last look was of Mal seated at the controls, flying the shuttle safely home. It felt good to have him there right then. Next time she wouldn't do as he said so quietly, next time…