sorry I've been gone for so long I've been going through some major life changes I ended a long term relationship and accidently jumped back into another one but I couldn't be happier I also recently turned 21 so yaaay wine and beer but that also means ive been a proud RENThead for 9 years now... well ill stop eating up ur time lets end this bitch!

One year later...

I was trembling... I was so scared. I couldn't believe I was here... Hands were all around me poking and prodding me, this can't be real. I squeezed my eyes shut and held my breath. I suddenly felt something creep up my spine sending a shiver down it, I was quickly jerked around. All the hands suddenly let go, the person standing behind me rested their chin on my shoulder.

"Open your eyes, chica," it was Mimi I finally let the air in my lungs out and I began to breathe again.

I couldn't believe the reflection in front of me, me in a white dress, a wedding dress. It was perfect. A full tulle skirt, off the shoulders long sleeve lace top framing my collar bones perfectly. It fit tightly across my toned flat stomach. I had come a long way.

I wasn't easy, not in the slightest. And I won't lie... I relapsed a lot, I still don't believe I'm thin enough. But I know I'm healthy, I understand the food I need to eat so I can survive. So between that and monitored gym sessions that focus on weight training and not cardio I'm able to keep myself lean while staying at my goal weight.

"I can't believe that's me..." I heard myself whisper.

"You look like a dream," she smiled.

"She's not ready yet!" Maureen's voice cut through.

We turned and saw her carrying my wig, that last piece I was missing. She handed it to me and I positioned it perfectly on my head, my black bob decorated with babies breathe and other small flowers.

"You look hot!" My diva squealed.

We shared a laugh and I looked them over, they were my brides maids. They wore short deep red satin dresses with black strappy high heels. They were made by me, a labor of love, and worth it to get the perfect dresses for them.

"You ready to get married?" Mimi asked.

"I've been ready since I met him."

"Then let's go!" she smiled and grabbed my arm.

We were already five minutes late but that's expected, I'm always late.

Downstairs Roger waited bored while Joanne paced outside the ballroom with a headset demanding to have someone find us. She had planned and paid for the whole wedding, the hotel venue was stunning. Without her we would be in city hall or some small vegas style chapel. She caught her breath when she saw us.

"Where have you been we were supposed to start twenty minutes ago!" she scolded.

"I'm sorry, beauty takes time!" I tried to laugh it off.

"Alright well everyone to your places! Mimi, Roger you're first"

"Wait," Mimi said and turned to me. "Chica this is your last chance do you want me to walk you down the aisle?"

She had already asked me a hundred times. My parents nor Collins would be attending, normally the father of the 'bride' would give her away. But they haven't been in my life for so long...

"No, i'll be ok," I give her one last hug.

She and Roger take position, the music starts and they walk. Joanne rips out her headset and gives me my final instruction again.

"After Maureen and I walk count to 5 then go, ok?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

The two girls link arms and walk, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

One...

I can't believe this moment is here, I can't believe I'm getting to marry Collins.

Two...

I never thought I would find true love, after all I've been through I never thought I was worthy of love. But here we are.

Three...

I looked down at my hand, my engagement ring sat so perfectly, despite my still calloused fingers from forcing myself to vomit.

Four...

It's ben a long road, but I swear Collins, I'll make you a good wife for the rest of our lives, no for forever.

Five.

I hold my breath once more and walk and I see him there waiting for me. At just one look he bites his fist and starts crying and I do my best to fight back the tears. I must be strong, but I've never been happier to see him. Every step I take closer to him is another victory. I was kicked out of my home at the age of 15 for being gay. For the next year that would follow that I would work in a drag club whoring myself out to make ends meet. At the age of 16 I entered my first long term relationship 2 years of never ending abuse, and cheating. After I left in the middle of the night I went out trying to find love in all the wrong places while trying to hold down a job. It never worked out. Then finally at the age of 19 I was diagnosed with HIV. I had no idea who gave it to me, how long I have had it or who I had given it to. After a suicide attempt I learned I needed to learn to love and treasure myself, alone. My HIV quickly turned to AIDS I met Collins days after my 21st birthday. In an instance I knew he was different, and I didn't hold back. I loved him freely, openly, as if my past didn't exist, as if I had never been hurt.

My doctors said I wouldn't live to 21, I'm 23 now getting closer to 24 and I'm about to marry the man of my dreams. A man with more love and patience than I could ever ask for.

I reached the end of the aisle the priest asked me, "And who gives this bride away?"

"I do, I will be giving myself away."

He nods and takes my hand leading me and placing my hands in Collins. the moment was suddenly real, I couldn't hold back the tears of joy any longer they streamed down my face along with his. The ceremony blurred by without me knowing, my eyes were locked with Collins' it gave me the strength I needed. It all felt like a dream, I wasn't able to focus back in until long into the reception when they made the announcement I had been dreading.

"Alright newlyweds! It's time for you to cut the cake!" Mark said shoving his camera in our face he had filmed the whole wedding.

I turned to the cake in horror, it was huge nothing but sugar and empty calorie. I can't eat it, it'll kill me. I won't eat it. I'll get so fat i'll get my pot belly back if I eat it. I can't even cut it what if it touches me and I absorb the fat! I can't, I can't, I can't.

Suddenly, I felt a hand clasp around mine I turned and there he was, my husband.

"Don't worry, I got you," he kissed my cheek.

I'm still shaking as he slowly leads me over. We go at my pace, he hands me the knife and serving spatula, they're brand new and sparkling. He wraps his hand around mine while we hold the knife and he waits for me to cut it. When I finally do he smiles widely and kisses me, I am in control. We scoop the cake onto the plate it's my favorite lemon filled. I look to him and get excited, he had been put in charge of the cake that project as a whole overwhelmed me too much.

We fed each other the cake slice he places it so carefully and lovingly in my mouth, I smear it across his face. We laugh and he retaliates, it was a beautiful moment.

Soon after we finally get to leave, escape to our honeymoon! We say goodbye and everyone watches us drive off, I'm happy, and free, the overly full feeling in my stomach doesn't bother me. And I doubt it ever will again.

"I love you, " I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder.

"I love you too, ."

Its finally done thank you everyone fore reading I hope you liked the ending