Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even the idea. Also, this is my first story. I don't even have any skill here. Please be gentle.
Edit: Cleaned this up a bit.
1.1
"Ah, dammit. I'm back here again."
Albert sighed, standing outside his old home Vault 101. "So, telling the Enclave the pass code sends me back. Now what?" Pulling out his Pip-Boy, Albert scrolled though his perks. With a resigned tone he reads:
"'Anchor
Rank 3000.
You are stuck in a time loop. However your previous skills, memories, map points, and perks cross over. There is a random chance one of your allies will join you. Then they will be in the loops with you. Every loop increases your rank by one. "
Albert puts his arm down and took a deep breath, rubbing his eyes. "Right, let's be a... Silver Tongued-Badass with Good Karma. Haven't done that in ages."
1.2
Albert really hated Tranquility Lane. What with it's sepia tones and that damned cheery song playing constantly.
'Creepy, creepy, creepy little girl. Slash old man. Still creepy. Bossing me around into unless I switch on the failsafe. I wonder what would happen if I attacked her?' Thought Albert. Shrugging, he swung a a rolling pin at Betty. As he connected, Betty seemed unaffected before calmly saying "You can't do that here, and now you have to pay."
As a burst of electricity was sent through his body, all he could think was, 'Aw...This is going to suck...'
1.3
"People of the Capital Wasteland, it is I, Three Dog, your ruler! Hear me, and obey! Oh sorry, that's that other radio station.
News time, children. Today I have a story about that crazy kid from Vault 101...
Mister Vault 101 was spotted doing something even I didn't think he had the balls for. He was killing Death Claws and Super Mutants with his bare hands. While yelling at the top of his lungs. Now, I'm not sure if his on some kind of Psycho, but if he is, maybe he should make sure he doesn't take it bare handed next time. Might not be lucky next time."
Now some music.
1.4
"Wait, wait, wait, back the crazy train up. Are you saying I'm not the only one in this? That there are other loopers? Are you serious?"
"Yes."
"I-I-I need to sit down. And have a huge, stiff drink. A 19 year old with a lighting bolt-like scar on his forehead just told me I'm not the only one in this mess. What the ever loving fuck."
1.5
"I'm on a Bear! I'm on a Bear!
Everybody look at me
'Cause I'm riding on a Bear!
I'm on a Bear, I'm on a Bear!
Check this out, guy over there!
Look at my motherfucking Bear!
I'm on a Bear, motherfucker, isn't it grand?
Fucking riding on a bear on the irradiated land
Busting 15 MPH, wind whipping out my hair
You can't stop me motherfucker, 'cause I'm on a Mutant Bear."
Albert couldn't believe it took him this long to start trying ride Yao Guai. Then again, he was rapidly running out of things to do.
1.6
"Hey everybody, this is Three Dog, your friendly neighborhood disc jockey. What's a disc? Hell if I know, but I'm gonna keep talking anyway.
We interrupt this regular scheduled program for, some news!
OK children, I have a new story about The Hero of the Wastes.
Mister Vault 101 has come by the studio and fixed my Satellite Dish. So now all of you in the wasteland can hear me! But that's not all he did, he took out a Behemoth all by himself. How, you may ask? He climbed up the damned thing and stabbed it through the brain with what looks like a kitchen knife. The Lone Wanderer is not something to be messed with children. If you see this cat, treat him with respect.
Now some music."
1.7
"Liberty Prime is online. All systems nominal. Weapons hot. Mission: the destruction of any and all Chinese communists."
""Did you just activate Liberty Prime, and sic him on the Enclave?" asked one of the Brotherhood Of Steel members in disbelief.
"Obstruction detected, composition: titanium alloy supplemented by photonic resonance barrier. Probability of mission hindrance: zero percent!"
"Yep. Made him indestructible as well." Albert said, with a lab coat covered in what looked like oil and blood.
"Communism is the very definition of failure!"
"Why?" said the same member in a tone that said he doesn't want an answer.
"Communists detected on American soil. Lethal force engaged!"
"Why not?"
Being a Mad Scientist is fun! Albert made a mental note to do this again later, as he watched all the of Enclave get squashed like small bugs.
1.8.1 (Bioshock)
"I am Andrew Ryan, and I'm here to ask you a question. Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? 'No!' says the man in Washington, 'It belongs to the poor.' 'No!' says the man in the Vatican, 'It belongs to God.' 'No!' says the man in Moscow, 'It belongs to everyone.' I rejected those answers; instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose... Rapture, a city where the artist would not fear the censor, where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality, Where the great would not be constrained by the small! And with the sweat of your brow, Rapture can become your city as well."
"A underwater city? Dumbest idea ever. Anyways, I'm Albert." Albert said to the man beside him.
The man nodded back. "Jack."
1.9 (MLP: Friendship is Magic)
"Because one dog ain't enough, and two is too low, it's me, Three Dog!
News time, children. Today I have a story about that crazy kid from Vault 101...
Mister Vault 101 was spotted riding a Yao Guai. No, that's not the story, apparently that happens often. It's what happens next that makes it a story. You see, the kid took out a group of raiders to save a small group of ponies. Colourful, magical, talking ponies. That have wings and horns. Children, I could not make this shit up if I tried.
Now some music."
1.10 (MST 3000)
Albert was not happy. He has not found one bottle of scotch on this dog-bone shaped ship. And he really needs a drink. So many bad movies. SO. MANY. BAD. MOVIES.
"And now 'Fat Zombies that sing Opera.'"
At least he can snark. That's always fun.
"Hopefully that means the film will be over soon."
"Three Dog hopes so too. He needs to use the bathroom."
Oh right, Butch and Three Dog are here as well. They weren't awake yet sadly, so he had to change his jokes by a lot. Pity. So many jokes wasted.
1.11.1
"Hey, Albert? Can I ask you something?"
'This is new. Butch never asks me something when I return to Vault 101. Could he be awake? Nah. Why would it start now?' thought Albert.
"Go ahead, Butch."
"You were always male, right? You weren't like female at one point, right?"
'Well, blow me sideways. Butch is awake.' thought Albert
"Butch, let me fix this current problem everyone seems to have and I'll tell you why you seem to think that. And maybe explain the déjà vu. It's a long story. A very long story. A very, very, very long story."
Author's note: Well, you read to the end. So you like it, or it was horrible and you just skipped to the end. Either way, tell me what you think, give me constructive criticism, or tell me to "never come to this site again, you no talent hack."