Chapter one: Never Happened

It was the end of another year at Hogwarts and every single witch and wizard in the castle were seated in the Great Hall. The chatter was low as everyone waited for the Headmistress to arrive for the Leaving Ceremony. McGonagall had worked hard to repair the school after the Battle of Hogwarts, not just the castle and grounds, but the staff and students as well. It had started as a mark of respect to all those who had died in the last battle against Voldemort, where the families of all the deceased were invited to the Leaving Ceremony. Year after year it turned into a tradition, where the parents of the students arrived for the feast and left the school with their children. It was an event made for the families to feel that their children were safe.

I had already been here twice and this would be the third feast I would be invited to. The first time I was here, a multitude of students and parents had wanted t shake my hand and sit nearby. of course I could count on Ginny to keep the people under control with her harsh dismissive words. It was amusing to James to see us having such a hard time. My oldest son had reminded me so much of my father that night, his black messy hair looked even more untamed than usual as he ran his hand through it. He was laughing a and talking with his friends. He was practically glowing. I had felt someone take my hand, the softness and the warmth of it was so familiar that I already knew I would see her bright brown eyes as soon as I turned.

"You missed this," She said simply.

I tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear, loving how the color stood out more with the green dress she wore.

"This was my home," I answered. It truly had been, but there were so many memories that I was too afraid to remember, memories that I couldn't allow myself to forget...

This year was different, and not just because Albus was also here, there was something more, like a feeling of something about to happen. Maybe it was the unnerving sight of my middle child with his green and silver tie among all the red and gold; Maybe it had been that fact that James had teased him by calling him Snivellus. Or maybe, just maybe it was the family on the other side of the Great Hall. Whatever it was, there was a strange feeling in the air, and it took one look at Hermione, then she was dragging Ron out of the Great Hall. I excused myself and kissed Ginny on her temple before running after them.

"Where are we going?" Ron asked, his voice carried through the silent corridors.

I caught up with them then, Hermione's bushy hair swayed as we quickened our pace.

"Moaning Myrtle's bathroom," she said as we reached the place.

Everything seemed just as it has been since the first time they had entered. It looked just as deserted as it was in their time at Hogwarts, leaving the three of us speechless for a minute.

"What's wrong?" Hermione was obviously the one to break the silence.

It took only a single word to sum it all up, "Malfoy," Ron said as if it were that simple of an answer.

I cringed at the name, "Possibly," I said not looking at either of them.

"That's ridiculous, Harry. Don't you see him at the Ministry? I'm sure Aurors bump into a member of Wizengamot-"

"Forget that, we've seen him plenty of times in our floor," Ron interrupted her, "Didn't we all see him with his wife at King's Cross?"

I sighed, they were right after all, "I know, it was just seeing him here, in the Slytherin table..."

"It's completely understandable, mate." my best friend said placing his hand on my shoulder.

I didn't answer. What could I say? I loved Ginny and our children so much, but there was a strange hollow feeling in my chest that had appeared the second I saw him.

"You don't regret the choices you made, do you?" she wasn't accusing me, but Hermione didn't see what she was implying.

Ron's face turned the color of his hair, "Do you regret marrying my sister?"

"No!" I yelled, anger and pain suddenly took over me, "I love her! I love everything about her! I thought you knew that! I also thought you knew that if Draco and I hadn't been so broken after the war we would still be together!" tears ran hot down my face as I breathed heavily. I hadn't said his name in nearly twenty years.

"So what are you saying? If he came in here now with his arms open would you choose him?" His face was still red and his eyes were now burning with anger.

I wanted to cry, really cry. I swallowed with difficulty and my voice cracked as I whispered, "He's not the same person anymore,"

"You didn't answer my question," his voice was low but the anger was still there.

"I don't want to answer it. I chose Ginny before because she was able to fix me, she made me feel again when I had given up on trying to be whole. I don't really know what you want to hear. That I loved him more than anything in my world? That I miss him? That still think of that last kiss? Or that I won't forget that night at the Slytherin dorms in his bed when he said he loved me for the first time?"

Ron was quiet, I wasn't sure if his silence was of rage or if he was too shocked of seeing me break that way, bursting into tears and remembering so many things that I had kept locked up deep in my heart. It didn't matter to me anyways, the flow of tears was too heavy that I couldn't even see his expression anyways. So I continued unable to stop my mouth after nineteen years of not speaking about him.

"The very next morning you noticed me when I was sneaking in with my cloak, it took you one good look at me and I remember you said that I looked like I was glowing. Did you already forget what I told you? That he made me feel so many things no one else ever did and he was so soft almost fragile, and our bodies seemed to be in perfect sync. When he whispered my name as we made love I knew that it was real. Then, it took those three words as he whispered 'I love you' with so much passion, and my heart exploded into a million pieces, because there was no more space in it to hold so much love."

I vaguely noticed Hermione's teary eyes as I stared directly at Ron. His expression has changed, he looked almost sad.

"When he said goodbye at King's Cross after the memorial service -" I couldn't find my voice, that was the most painful part of all, "I - the only thing that kept me going before Ginny, was that last kiss. He didn't care about all the muggles watching he just pulled me into his arms and held me so tightly and when our lips touched I felt that same thing that I had felt when he said my name that night. Only this time when my heart exploded, he left and I don't think I will ever feel that way again, I don't think my heart is capable anymore."

Ron didn't speak, but a single look at his reflection from the mirror I could see he felt terrible. Hermione took my hand in hers and squeezed softly. "Sorry," she said, I wasn't sure if she was apologizing for her earlier comment or if she was saying what her husband was unable to voice out.

But she was wrong to underestimate a Gryffindor. Suddenly, Ron broke the distance between us and hugged me. It was so similar to the way he hugged me after Draco left me after finding me broken, hidden in number 12 Grimmauld place. It reminded me of my father.

It took me a couple of minutes to compose myself. After I washed the tears from my face, I was able to go back to the hall. We laughed all the way there, remembering our adventures in the castle and I returned to my wife and children as if it had never happened, as if Draco and I had never happened...