Looking back on his life, Kendall Knight had but one regret. And if he was being honest with himself, it was selfish of him to have any regrets at all. He'd lived a perfect life so far. He'd spent almost eight years being in a successful pop band with his three best friends, and when Big Time Rush had ended amicably four years ago, he'd had no complaints. Along with his three best friends he'd put out four extremely successful albums and even won four Grammy awards. He had no right to ask for anything more. Which was why he almost felt guilty that he was now living out his childhood dream and playing for one of the biggest teams in the NHL, mere seconds away from taking the ice in game seven of the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

Kendall knew he had no right to ask for anything more in his life. He had amazing friends, great family, a couple of Grammies and even an amazing girlfriend in his life. But a Stanley Cup was what was missing. He wanted it so bad he could taste it. And he couldn't help but feel that tonight was the night. Tonight was the night his final dream would come true, tonight was when he would finally taste the success he'd always craved. That Stanley Cup was his and his team mates, he knew it, he could feel it.

Kendall couldn't help but glance up in the stands, packed with screaming hockey fans, and find them slightly lacking, almost empty. Which was again, selfish, really. He could clearly see Logan, front and center, huge smile on his face, cheering on his friend, taking off a rare night from the hospital, his arm looped around his very pregnant wife, Camille. Logan had done well for himself, managing to complete college and start med school all the while touring and recording with Big Time Rush. He was now in his second year of residency for neurosurgery at the hospital. Next to them was Carlos, also with a grin adorning his face, excited for his friend and former bandmate, but every once in a while he glanced at his cellphone, making sure he wasn't getting paged into the firehouse where he was a superhero in his own rights, running into burning buildings to save others when everyone else was running out. Kendall certainly couldn't begrudge two of his best friends from the happiness they deserved, and he loved that they'd reached their dreams. But the seat next to them was sorely empty.

Kendall couldn't help but wish James was where he belonged, darkening the seat next to Carlos, cheering him on as the other two were. Not that he was surprised that James wasn't there. They'd all achieved their respective dreams after Big Time Rush had ended, James included. He had taken fame to a whole new level after the boy band broke up, quickly rising to become one of the biggest pop stars and actors Hollywood had ever seen. Kendall could barely click on his TV or radio without hearing or seeing James Diamond. Not that he minded.

In fact, there were numerous nights Kendall could recall spent in an otherwise lonely hotel room where he'd slowly allowed himself to imagine what could have been as he watched his former best friend on the screen of his television.

With a harsh sigh, Kendall skated away from the area where James was missing, once again pasting on a smile and pretending he didn't miss the pretty boy's presence, acting as if he wasn't torn up inside that they'd never stayed in contact after Kendall had almost confessed his feelings that fateful night so many moons ago after the final BTR concert.

The curtain had closed, leaving the four best friends with arms draped over each other and sad smiles, knowing this was the last time they would be together as Big Time Rush.

James was the first to pull away from the others, he was the one the break up was most affecting. He didn't resent that his friends were ready to move on with their lives, to chase after their own dreams. But this was his dream, and James knew it was about to get a lot more lonely. "Good show," he commented, not giving way to his true thoughts or feelings, but catching Kendall's gaze in a smile, giving him a wink. "We made a good team, huh?" He asked into the night, his question rhetorical, not expecting an answer as he turned from his bandmates to grab a bottle of water, drinking it down with the sorrow that weighed heavily on his chest knowing they'd just reached the end of an era.

The boys all made small talk until it winded down to just James and Kendall, sitting on the stage, hours after the end of their last show, legs dangling off the edge as they both smiled ruefully, memories coursing through them.

"James," Kendall began, wondering if he was really doing this. If he had finally worked up the nerve to tell his best friend how he truly felt. He knew this was his last chance. After tonight they were all going different ways. Who knew when they would all be together again? Who knew when Kendall would lay eyes upon James again? It was now or never.

James gave a lazy smile at the sound of his name and turned his head to his best friend. He could sense the change in atmosphere but he didn't want to read too much into it. Standing by Kendall all the years while he'd devoted himself to Jo had done a number on James' heart, so he flashed his friend one of his 'devil may care' grins and pretended he wasn't in love with him.

"I-" Kendall faltered. What he wanted to say was 'I love you', but he found he couldn't choke out the words. He couldn't stand the pain of hearing James respond that he loved him too, just not in that way. "I'm gonna miss being in a band with you," He finally said, nudging James shoulder with his own, unaware that he broke not only his own heart with those words but James' as well.

Kendall was forced out of his own memories by the announcer's slightly annoying voice. "And now to sing the national anthem, Grammy and Academy Award winning musician and actor, James Diamond!" Kendall's head snapped up. It couldn't be. Surely someone would have informed him, would have warned him. But unless his eyes deceived him, that was the James he used to know so well, walking onto the middle of the ice, shooting the crowd one of his patented heart breaking grins before taking the microphone and opening his mouth, singing in the voice that Kendall remembered oh so well, "Oh say can you see…"

Try as he might, Kendall couldn't tear his eyes away from his former best friend. He looked more beautiful than Kendall remembered, age certainly suited him well. His brunette hair was now cropped close, but his hazel eyes still shone out from his face and he still seemed to have the same body that had played on repeat in so many of Kendall's fantasies. He was dressed simply in a pair of dark jeans and a black wife-beater, and Kendall immediately felt his heart rate speed up as he watched his former crush croon into the microphone.

Eventually, as was inevitable, James' hazel orbs sought out Kendall's green ones, locking on to them as he sang out the end of the national anthem, unknowingly seducing the younger man with his looks.

On the outside, James had everything he'd ever wanted, everything he'd ever dreamed of. But when he went to sleep at nights, whether it be in an unfamiliar hotel room, his own bed or some random Hollywood actress', James life was lacking in the one thing he wanted most. Kendall Knight was nowhere to be found. Kendall wasn't lying in bed next to him, as James felt he should be. James' arms closed around nothing more than air when he wanted only for the blonde hockey star to be lying in them.

Pushing the thoughts aside, James finished the song, belting out the last notes as he knew was expected of him. "And the home of the brave." James stepped away from the microphone, easily able to ignore the sounds of the screaming teens and twenty somethings in the audience since they certainly didn't overpower the hockey fans, and with a smile and a wave, he made his way off stage, quickly ducking into the Penguins changing room and making haste towards the exit, eager to join Carlos and Logan in the stands, wanting nothing more than to see his longtime friend win the trophy that James knew was rightfully his.