Okay people, this is a tutorial on HOW TO WRITE DRAMIONE

If you're an avid Dramione fan like Jessica and I, then you've probably found SO many stories that have promising summaries, but then go a little something like this:

I looked into his dark stormy eyes, and the world seemed to fall around me. I had never noticed his eyes before. They are so beautiful. He has gained some muscle since I last saw him, and his hair has grown out, he no longer slicks it back. It looks so light and fluffy.

I had never noticed her beauty before. Her hair was no longer bushy, but instead soft curls framed her face. Her chocolate brown orbs looked into my own, and I was transported into another world. All I could do was to not fall at her feet, mesmerized.

*VOMITING* Ew ew ew... People are so cliche, like honestly, chocolate ORBS!? WTF. Are her eyes the size of plates? And no, Hermione's hair remains bushy throughout the entire series, only in the movies does it get progressively better. Of course Draco has gained some muscle. HE"S A GOD DAMNED MAN NOT A BOY YOU IDIOTS. Okay, that's enough ranting. So, Jessica and I have decided to make some rules for writing Dramione. If you want to write Dramione, please follow these rules carefully, or you will be shunned.

1. NO OOC (except for sex and parodies)
Hermione is not a badass, she is a bookworm. Draco shall always be a badass. It's in his nature. Only during sex may they switch roles and only in parodies may they be ultra OOC.

2. Draco's eyes may not be describes as a "stormy gray" except during sex.

3. Hermione's hair may NOT be described as chocolate locks, only as soft brown curls or a frizzy bushy mess.

4. NO OVER EXXAGERATION OF THEIR CHANGES IN APPEARANCE They have aged since the battle at Hogwarts, so unless they meet when they are like, 100 years old, they probably have changed just a little, not enough for them to be all like DAYUM GIRL WHAT HAPPENED

5. Hermione CANNOT break up with Ron for a stupid reason, like he was looking at her weirdly, or, he was looking at Lavendar funny. IF THEY ARE TO BREAK UP, HERMIONE MUST BE THE NOE TO BREAK UP FOR A LEGITIMATE REASON. SAME GOES FOR RONALD.

6. Never, EVER, is Draco to call her Mione. No. That name is stupid.

7. I know this isn't strictly Dramione, but can people please get it through their heads that BLAISE IS A FUCKING BOY

So yeah, there are some basic rules. I may add some later, I may not. Deal with it. So I hope that you take this into account when writing your Dramione stories, and send this to people who need the help.