Epilogue

Kim swivelled around in Gene's chair one, two, three times and then put her feet up on the desk with a sigh. She folded her arms behind her head and gave a contented smile. This was the life.

"As far as monday mornings go this one's got to be nine and a half out of ten," she sighed.

There was no Surrey commute, no one accusing her of being a human/robot hybrid and she had lattes on tap. Actually, she wasn't really interested in the lattes but she was utilising her authority in charge of CID to send Bammo on various missions to Latte Land either to satisfy what seemed to be a never ending appetite or to ask for various non-existent items such as rainbow paint and sky hooks.

"Hey you," the sound of Robin's voice in the doorway was about the only thing that could have made her day even better. She looked up with a smile.

"Hey," she said.

"You look far too comfortable in Gene's place," Robin told her and she put her feet back on the floor.

"Piece of piss," she said, "yell a bit. Drink some scotch. Put a few dents in the filing cabinet. That's pretty much it." Robin laughed as he walked towards her and leaned over the desk to kiss her, despite her protests. "We're at work," she hissed.

"So you'll lock the office door and push me onto the desk but I can't kiss you?" Robin pulled a face and laughed as the phone rang.

"Oh god, not another one," she complained.

"Has it been a busy morning?" Robin frowned.

"No, it'll be Gene again," Kim sighed.

"Gene?"

"From the sunny shores of Spain," Kim told him, "He thinks we need a babysitter or something. Wait and see." she lifted the receiver, "CID?"

There was a moment of silence, then some strange clicks and a bleep as the Spanish phone system endeavoured to connect and finally Gene's voice barked down the line;

"So my station is still standing then?"

Kim groaned and ran a hand through her spikes.

"Guv, everything is still standing. The station. Your office. Your filing cabinet. Everything is fine."

"I hope you're treating my desk with respect," Gene told her, "I heard what happened to Luigi's floor, any dents in that polished wood and you'll be hammering them out with that hedgehog on yer head."

Kim scowled.

"Have you really called all the way from Spain to insult me or can I get some work done so that you won't come back to a bunch of empty cells?" she asked.

"No, I've called to make sure there's a station to come back to," Gene told her and Kim gave a deep sigh.

"No," she said, "I've been so distracted by all these phone calls that I've accidentally booked a team of demolition experts to knock it down." She put down the phone and Robin looked at her warily.

"Uh oh," he flinched, "you just hung up on Gene."

"His filing cabinet technique might be good but it doesn't work all the way from the continent," she pointed out with a smirk.

"Well, you've got four weeks to perfect your running technique because you're going to pay for that when he gets back," Robin told her and Kim smiled.

"I'm sure I will be able to find a way to get out of it," she told him, "I'll just make sure there's an extra long line of lattes waiting when he gets back."

Robin smiled and waked back towards the door.

"Alight," he began, "well I was just stopping by to see how things were going, but you've got everything in hand. I've got to get back down to the unit, new recruit's arrived. I'll be showing him round in a bit."

"If you can wait ten minutes Bammo will be back with enough lattes to quench your entire unit, including the dogs," Kim told him and Robin smiled.

"I'll try to time my arrival just right," he said and disappeared.

Kim returned her feet to the desktop and leaned back. This was the life. She thought she could get quite comfortable in Gene's chair, given half the chance. She supposed she should probably start doing some work soon. Maybe.

She busied herself with sorting through Gene's drawers and finding his best hiding places for future reference. She had found two bottles of scotch, a beer and three packets of chocolate biscuits by the time a knock sounded on the door and Simon peered around it.

"Morning, Guv," he said with a smile that made Kim grin.

"I actually like that better than being called Ma'am," she confided.

"I think Guv suits you better," Simon told her.

"You do?"

"You're too scary to be 'ma'am'," Simon told her cheekily and she rolled her eyes.

"In which case that is a very brave comment," she remarked, raising her eyebrow.

"Bollocks," Simon retreated but Kim laughed and shook her head.

"You're safe, come in, I won't bite."

"Yeah, it's whether you're going to pierce my other arse cheek or not I'm worried about,." Simon told her, still flinching at the memory of the first time.

"Well I haven't got my piercing kit, so you're safe," Kim told him, "I have however confiscated a large quantity of water balloons this morning so don't get too complacent!" she frowned a little as Simon sat down, looking a little off colour. "Blimey, you look like you've just heard series seven of Red Dwarf is about to be repeated," she said, "are you ill?"

"I'm not over saturday night yet," Simon admitted. He rubbed his forehead which was still throbbing. "God, I haven't drunk like that since..." he shuddered, "probably not since the night you went home," he sighed. "I spent all day yesterday nursing my head with cold flannels and drinking tea but I still want to puke and exchange my head for something less painful," he blanched, "like a spike pit from Sonic the Hedgehog."

Kim smiled as she leaned back in her chair.

"Where did you get to on saturday night, anyway?" she asked, "Rob and I just went to -" she coughed slightly, "to check the Guv's car for damage... and we went to offer you a lift home and there was no sign of you."

Simon visibly grew uncomfortable. He scratched the back of his head as he said,

"Oh, I went clubbing."

Kim's eyes widened.

"You? Went clubbing?!" she couldn't have been more surprised, "you barely ever even want to go with us."

Simon shrugged.

"Just felt liken it," he said awkwardly.,

"Who did you go with?" Kim asked.

Simon looked away.

"No one really," he mumbled.

"Oh" Kim seemed disappointed, "I thought maybe..." she hesitated, "you were talking to that barman for most of the night..."

Simon's tie felt extremely tight suddenly. He loosened it quite frantically as he said,

"Yeah... I think he was there. Yeah, he came along for a while."

"And?"

Simon wasn't sure what colour his face was but he was fairly sure it was looking redder than a certain spaceship.

"And nothing, Kim," he said, "It was OK. It was a laugh. Danced for a couple of hours, went home."

Kim stared at him expectantly, waiting for more but all Simon did was shrug.

"Did you get his number?" Kim asked, "Are you going to see him again?"

"It wasn't like that," Simon shrugged again.

"You seemed to be getting on really well."

"Yeah, we did," Simon closed his eyes momentarily, "but it was just a one-off. It wasn't like a date or anything."

Kim sighed sadly. Maybe she'd completely misread the situation.

"Sorry, Simon," she said quietly, "I just thought... you know, with the emotion of the day and everything..." she shrugged, "it would have been really nice if you'd met someone you liked. Had someone give you some attention for a while. End the night with a kiss and someone's phone number scrawled on the back of your hand."

Involuntarily Simon's eyes dropped to his hand; vague shadows of numbers still a little visible despite several washes and a shower. He covered it up with his other hand and shook his head.

"I know everyone thinks I'm some lonely wallflower but I'm not," he said quietly, "if I meet someone, then great, but I'm not just going to get with someone for the sake of not being alone."

"No, you're right," Kim nodded, "I'm sorry if it sounded like..." she shrugged, "like we were trying to force you into going out with someone just so you weren't alone. What was it you said to me?"

Simon's lips twitched into a distant smile.

"Don't settle," he said quietly.

"That was good advice," Kim told him quietly and Simon nodded.

"There's more to me than a snazzy jumper," he said and Kim gave an explosive laugh. "Oi!" but he was laughing too, He shook his head with a sigh and a little smile. "Honestly, Kim, I know you and Rob worry about me but I don't want to go out with somebody for the sake of it. Michael was fun to talk to, doesn't mean I'm going to jump into bed with him for being the first man to give me the time of day in two years."

"Michael?" Kim repeated, "oh well, at least you got a name."

"Oh, you're both here," Robin's voice pulled there attention to the doorway as he appeared quite suddenly, "just wanted to introduce the newest member of the canine unit. Michael?"

There was one heartbeat during which Simon froze completely, then another as he thought he was going to lose what he'd managed of his breakfast all over the desk. On the third heartbeat his neck snapped around and his worst nightmare became his reality.

"Shit," the word escaped before he could stop it. He wanted to cringe for letting it slip but for what it was worth Michael looked every bit as shocked as Simon felt.

"Uh," he cleared his throat, "hello again," he tried to smile but it came out crooked.

"What are you doing here?" Simon asked almost accusingly.

"I'm... starting my new job," Michael said, his voice shaky, "I told you, Saturday was my last day in the pub."

"You didn't tell me where your new job was," Simon said, trying to make his voice sound light and carefree but his gritted teeth spoilt that effect.

"Oh," a look of realisation crossed Robin's face, "that's why you looked familiar, Michael. Of course, I'd seen you in the pub on Saturday." He looked from Simon to Michael, seemingly ignorant of the growing atmosphere that filled the air. "Of course, you two know each other then. Well that's good," he turned to Michael, "at least you'll know someone."

Michael could feel his face reddening.

"Yeah," he said awkwardly, suddenly very aware that he looked a bit of a prat in his uniform, all stiff and starched, straight from the packet.

Kim looked from one to the other suspiciously.

"Well, this is a bit of a coincidence, isn't it?" she commented and Simon looked as though he wanted to fade into the floor.

"DCI Stringer is acting head of CID while DCI Hunt is away," Robin told his recruit, "she's usually responsible for the serious sexual crimes department. And DCI Shoebury is head of the Hi-Tech Crimes department. Your paths may cross from time to time."

"Looks like they already have," Kim commented, raising an eyebrow.

Michael shuffled awkwardly.

"Well," he cleared his throat, "it's nice to see you again."

Simon cleared his throat.

"Yeah," he said stiffly, "I should be getting back to work though."

"Of course," Michael hesitated, "Uh... while you're here though, I..." he hesitated, "I don't suppose I left a pair of sunglasses at yours, did I?"

Simon's eye bolted as Kim literally reeled back in her char so hard that it moved back by several inches while Robin frowned, confused.

"When was he at your -" he began before the truth slapped him in the face and his mouth fell open. "Simon, no..." he shook his head in disbelief while Michael took a moment to realise exactly what he'd said and he gave a gasp of horror.

"I -" he wasn't even sure how to finish that sentence.

"Simon?" Kim asked with a smirk, "are you sure there's nothing to tell us?"

"Only that I need to get back to work with some urgency," Simon mumbled,rushing past Robin and Michael, out of the door, "Excuse me."

"Simon, wait!" Kim cried, scrambling out of her seat, "you're not getting away with it that easily!" she fled past Robin and the newcomer, ignoring the fact that her phone had started to ring.

"Kim!" Robin cried "Kim, your phone -" he trailed away as Kim's footsteps faded away and sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. He looked back at Michael whose face was the same colour as the strawberries sat in his fridge at home. If there was a more uncomfortable way to hear about your ex-boyfriend having a drunken one night stand then Robin couldn't think of it.

"Well," he swallowed, "this is awkward." he hesitated, looking at Michael's stricken face and feeling his own heating up. Goddamnit. What now? He nervously shuffled towards Kim's desk, "I'd... better answer that," he said. He didn't care who was on the line, anything to distract from the fact that Michael had managed to give Fenchurch East its single biggest piece of gossip for years within minutes of starting his job.

~xXx~

Gene reached into his swimming trunks for the loose change floating around in his pocket as the call was finally connected and the phone began to gobble up his money.

"Hello?"

"Stringer!" he Barked.

"Erm, no guv, sorry," the voice continued, "It's me. Robin."

"Batman," Gene frowned, "Should have realised. Thought the voice was a bit too feminine for Metal Mickey."

"Hey!" Robin cried, more insulted for Kim than himself.

"Your robot girlfriend is taking her life in her hands hanging up on me," Gene told him. The sun was beating down on his shoulders, turning them an angry shade of pink from his refusal to wear sunscreen and the ends of his hair clung to him from the coat of perspiration across his body.

"Gene, just leave them alone, hang up and come back to the shade."

In contrast to Gene, Alex looked like something from an advert in holiday brochure; her body glistening with sunscreen, a red bikini accentuating her curves, a pair of shades perched on her nose and a large, floppy sunhat shielding her fro the heat. She had taken to the calm environment of the poolside instantly. Gene, on the other hand, was having some difficulty in switching off.

"It's not easy leaving my station in the hands of the cast of the bloody Wizard of Oz," he barked down the phone.

"You what?"

"Bloody Tin Man hanging up on me," Gene continued, "the scarecrow without enough brains in his head to make a bloody speech without the hecklers taking over the show and the cowardly flipping lion who avoids his own department in case the mutts pull down his bloody underpants!"

"Actually lions are a bit of a sore point," Robin began but Gene wasn't listening.

"How can I enjoy my honeymoon when I'm worrying about Stringer implementing compulsory piercing for all?" He cried.

"Look, Gene," Robin began a little more loudly, "your station is in good hands. It's still standing, it has not been subjected to fire, flood or impact damage and Kim is not running around, piercing people at random! Well, except for Bammo but he probably deserved it."

"That station is my pride and joy -"

"I thought your car was your pride and joy."

"Me other pride and joy!" Gene became aware of someone queuing behind him with increasing impatience, coughing, clearing his throat and muttering about dying of old age before he got to the phone. Gene huffed a little and turned his back a little more squarely to the stranger as he continued. "I don't know what I was thinking, leaving that half-dalek in charge!"

"Ooh, you'd better not let Kim hear you calling her that," Robin sounded scared, "I wouldn't put it past her to get on the next plane out with her piercing kit."

Gene shuddered. He realised Robin was actually right. He'd thought Spain was probably the one place she was safe from her wrath. Maybe not.

"Perhaps it's best you don't mention this call to Stringer," he mumbled just as the stranger behind him cleared his throat again.

"Do you think there's any chance of you getting off the phone this side of September?" an annoyed voice asked and Gene spun around.

"I might be on me honeymoon but me fists are always primed for action," he began but froze as he found himself face to face with someone far too familiar, someone whose eyes bolted in shock, someone who - without a doubt - didn't want to be face to face with DCI Gene Hunt. "Bloody hell."

Nick Nailer gulped.

"Big bag of bollocks," he mumbled and turned on the spot so fast he almost gave himself whiplash.

The sight of one lobster-tinted middle-aged man chasing another across the crowd of sun bed-dwelling holiday makers was quite something to behold.

"Bolly!" Gene cried, "Get moving!" while Nailer yelled to a sunbathing redhead;

"Vicky! Leg it!"

A strange kind of law-evading Benny Hill chase began around the pool, leaving Alex sighing and shaking her head while simultaneously trying not to laugh herself silly. It was typical, she supposed, that after spending all morning worrying about the station it should be Gene who found himself in the middle of an unexpected piece of the action.

And, she realised, it was somehow fitting too. Their lives as a married couple were starting as they meant to go on.

Alex, for one, wouldn't have had it any other way.

The End!

~xXx~

A/N: I bet you didn't think I could do it, did you? All that fluff! It was pretty much down to the flu... the weirdest flu ever :P Still, it got the fic written which is the main thing! Thank you so much for following, not just this story but the whole series, everything that led to this point and all that will follow. I really appreciate every one of you following, whether you review or message me or follow/favourite my stories, it means so much that you're still following after all this time! Thank you!

There are some of you who I've become really close to through writing which I never expected to happen when I started – Steph, Charlotte, Jess – thank you is nowhere near enough! I also want to welcome Lucy who as of today will officially be all caught up, you just read heading towards 3 million words in about 2 months, that's mindblowing! Thank you to everyone who's left reviews and thoughts, there were a few anon reviews, I'm so sorry I can't thank you by name but I appreciate every one :)

And so from light into dark, the next story will begin tonight; a good, healthy dose of angst with a dollop of baked beans on the side. I really hope to see you there!