Meeting the Howells
"Ready to go, Phil?" I heard the smooth voice call from the living room as I zipped up my suitcase, after doing a last-minute check that I brought everything I would need for a weekend away.
"Yup! One sec, Dan!" I grabbed my lion plushie and my suitcase handle and headed out to pack the car. I shuffled through my pockets, checking for my phone and drivers license, my actions coated with anxiety.
"Don't get too worked up Phil, they're just my family."
"I've never met your parents before and... I'm just really nervous. First impressions are everything, and I have to make this one good."
"What are you talking about? Sure, you've met."
"Phone conversations don't count at all, they're not proper..." Dan kissed me sweetly on the cheek, drawing even more blood to my face.
"They watch your videos, listen to the radio show, and all that other stuff. So they already know what you're like."
"Is that a good thing?"
"It's a great thing, Phil. They've told me a million times how lucky I was to find such a sweet and cute flat mate. They love you already."
"I guess so but..."
"But what?"
"I don't know... Sometimes I'm a little shy or awkward and I don't want them to think I'm socially inadequate and that I'm not good enough for you."
"Phillip! You're driving yourself nuts, saying these things."
"I love you."
"I love you too. Now get in the passenger's side, you're not going to drive if you're going to shake like that." He chuckled lightly and squeezed my hand.
The drive took a good three hours, all of which I spent staring out the window, reviewing all my Phil-like qualities in detail. Oh god, what if they ask me about myself! It's such a simple question, yet so hard to think of an answer for... The thought of Dan's parents asking me questions, especially about our love life, sparked more panic to ensue and all I could do was sigh. Dan glanced over at me while he drove, giggling at my misery. In my previous relationships I had never been so nervous to impress their family, but Dan's was different. I had to make an amazing first impression and knock their socks off, because I'm positive that Dan is the one and only man for me.
The longest hours of my life ended too soon when the car pulled into Dan's parents' driveway. A cute, classically British brick house stood before us with lamps on in all the windows. A big tree in the front yard swayed with the wind, causing the swing that was suspended below the thick branches to jingle along with it. As welcoming as the setting was, I felt the dire need to vomit on the pavement.
The wooden door swung open with a homely creek and an adorable little woman appeared out of the house's illumination. "Daniel! My baby is home!" She was jumping up and down and Dan started off by giggling and walking up, but eventually took off in a sprint into the woman's motherly arms. Squeals and excited chatter spewed out of their mouths, and a tall salt-and-pepper haired man appeared in the doorway, taking Dan into a big bear hug and ruffling his hair. Everyone was smiling and chattering by the time I made it up to the door. Suddenly, all the attention was on me, and the doorway was painfully silent.
"Mom, dad, this is Phil! Phil, these are my parents!" Dan proudly presented both parties to each other and grinned as I reached out to shake their hands.
"Hi!" I said it as cheerfully as I could, even though my nerves were extremely on edge at this point. Dismayed, Dan's mother refused my handshake, and I dropped it awkwardly. Confusion and fear must have shown on my face because both parents giggled just like Dan does, an exact carbon copy.
"No, no, honey! We do hugs at the Howell house!" Dan's little mom wrapped her arms around my waist when I bent down to accept, and warmed me with the hug. After she finally let go, Dan's dad hugged me uncomfortably, obviously only showing me so much stranger's love because his wife wanted to see it.
"Great to finally meet you in person, Phil." Dan's dad smiled reluctantly at me, still analyzing me and judging how good I am for his son.
"Yes, it's taken too long, hasn't it?" I laughed nervously at the end of the question. Dan's father furrowed his brow slightly, and gave an agreeing nod in my direction.
"Come in, come in! We have plates and plates of sweets! I hope you came hungry!" Dan's mom exclaimed and took my hand, squeezing it as she lead me into the warm house. I looked back at Dan and looked for an answer as to if the introductions went well so far. He bit his lip as he smiled back, giving me a reassuring thumbs up. I instantly felt safer, as if I had just reached a neutral zone after having guns pointed to me.
Dan and I took off our shoes and left them on the designated mat that read "Family and friends, welcome!"
"I can take your coat." The deep voice surprised me, causing me to jump and spin around, frightened. Dan's father was the speaker, and he looked unamused by my reaction.
"Oh, um, here. Thank you, sir." Of course I got my arms stuck in the sleeve holes. His dad must think I'm a crazy loser who can't even remove a coat. Good lord, Phil, keep it together.
I heard footsteps come from above, and a few seconds later, another figure appeared before me. This time, it was a thin, brown-haired, brown-eyed boy who looked exactly like a younger version of Dan.
"Hey Adrian."
"What's up Dan."
"Nothing much, you?"
"Yeah."
Dan and Adrian's lanky bodies hugged each other awkwardly, showing this weird kind of love to their mother while she watched. Dan had told me about his brother in the past and said that they weren't super close, but didn't have any real problems against each other. They were just snarky at times. I could tell by the present situation that Dan and Adrian would have preferred to show their brotherhood non-physically.
The discomfort lifted as soon as Dan looked back at me. "Adrian, this is Phil! Phil, meet my little brother, Adrian!"
Adrian stared up at me. "Yeah, I know who you are."
"How's it going?" I reached out my hand and Adrian shook it routinely. He just shrugged and went off to the living room, closely following behind both of Dan's parents, who had returned to the kitchen. Dan and I were alone at last.
"So? Not so bad, was it?" Dan gleamed adorably up at me and intertwined his fingers in mine.
"No, not so bad. They're really sweet, especially your mum." I was still coming down from my nervous adrenaline high, fully aware that it would return when we all sat together at the table.
"They love you. I just know it."
"You sure?"
"Totally. My dad might take a while to warm up, but that's just because he's a dad. It's nothing against you." He planted a quick kiss on my hand. "And my brother's like that to everyone, he's a total twat so don't worry about him."
"Anything you say, love." I pecked Dan on the head and followed him to the family table. Mrs. Howell cheerfully showed us all to our assigned seats, placing Dan and I across from each other, and me directly next to Adrian. Oh no. How am I supposed to do this without Dan? When we sat down, Adrian looked over to me and just stared for a few seconds, but then all of a sudden made a funny face, pretty much the exact face Dan makes in Reasons Why Dan's a Fail. The face looked so uncannily like Dan that I couldn't help but laugh, covering my mouth, as usual.
Adrian smiled back, and seemed friendlier than he was a few seconds ago. Maybe he was just a little shy to meet me? "You're riding the struggle bus right now, aren't you, mate?"
I was so relieved that Adrian was picking up on what I was going through, meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. "Yeah, but I should hop off pretty soon. Everyone is so nice and welcoming." I became more worried. Was my first impression to everyone that I'm a nervous wreck? I was going more for charming and adorable, but I guess that didn't work out.
"Yeah, we won't bite. Just let loose, man." Adrian discreetly pointed in Mr. Howell's direction and whispered, "He smells fear."
"Smells it?" I squirmed in my seat and Adrian chuckled lightly, passing me a biscuit.
"We still don't know if you've passed the test yet!"
"Is there a test? I have to take a test?" I urgently shot the questions at Adrian and he just grinned.
"No, like our family doesn't know if we approve yet."
"You all know pretty much everything about me, though..." My heart was beating ever faster. Dan must have seen the fear on my overly expressive face as I talked to Adrian.
"Adrian! Switch with me!" Dan whisper-shouted his request to change seats, but Adrian wasn't having it.
"No, I like this seat. I was just getting comfortable!" Sassiness must run in the family! By now, both Howell boys were leaning over the table and talking.
"Adrian. Switch. Now."
"No, I wanna sit with Phil!"
"I can see from across the table that you're being an embarrassing little twat," Dan practically spat the last word, "so I should sit by Phil."
"Sit back down, dickhead. Mom assigned these seats." Adrian leaned back in his chair and put and arm around me. "Phil and I are becoming good buddies and you're ruining it! You get to live with him every day, so quit being so thirsty and jealous. Bitch."
"I'm older than you, so. Fuck off."
"BOYS!" Mrs. Howell was appalled by Dan and Adrian's little fight. It was weird to see them so competitive and furious at each other. "That is not how you act around guests! Be gentlemen." She scowled at both of them, as they stuck their tongues out at each other. "I'm so sorry, Phil. I didn't think my boys, one being a full grown and independent adult," she gesticulated to Dan, "would act like they're five years old again.
"No, no, it's fine!" I reassured Mrs. Howell. "I have a brother too, so I get it!"
Dan decided to jump in. "Yeah, but you guys are so sticky sweet to each other that it doesn't count!"
"What are you talking about?" I smiled, all-in-all ignoring the conversation. It felt good to be speaking with Dan. He made me feel so much less nervous.
"Oh, come on Phil! Whenever we all go out, you're always buying him food and being supportive and stuff!" He winked at me from across the table.
Mrs. Howell interjected, "That is how brothers should act! Not like Neanderthals." Adrian chuckled maniacally and made another face at Dan. Dan mouthed the words "suck a dick" to Adrian.
"So Phil, tell us about yourself." The dreaded question came from Mr. Howell, who had stayed quiet thus far. I got that uneasy feeling back, like how I felt in high school right before giving a speech.
"I... Well..." Great start, Phil. "I make youtube videos and I do the Radio 1 show on Sundays with Dan and... I really like lions and hamsters and going swimming." I regurgitated each fact nervously, and Mrs. Howell squeezed my hand.
"You are even more adorable in person!"
"Thanks." I smiled genuinely at the little woman.
"Anything else?" It's like Mr. Howell was looking for a specific answer in his test. What do I do? What do I say? I needed a clue.
"Umm..." I shifted in my seat. I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
"I am madly in love with your son and we've built an amazing life together and I'm sorry I'm so nervous but I really want you to like me and accept us as a couple that would mean the world!" It all came out so fast. No commas. Mr. Howell's face twisted, like he was trying his best not to smile, keeping his stern appearance as much as possible. His eyes gave him away, though. "Sorry." I have no idea why I apologized. I just did it.
"You're alright, Phil." Mr. Howell's eyes diverted to a cake as he put it on his plate. "You're alright."
Dan gave me a familiar look across the table, the same face he always wears when he tells me at home that I'm cute. I really hope I wasn't too awkward!
"Good answer, dude." Adrian whispered to me.
"It's the truth!"
Everyone was eating their cakes and chattering, when I felt a foot touch mine. I made eye contact with Dan who was obviously giggling internally. I drew my foot back so that the Howells wouldn't think I'm weird, laughing by myself in my seat, but Dan's foot kept reaching farther and poking mine. I couldn't control my laughing face, as Dan and I looked at each other. Us smiling at each other like that, it must have been clear to everyone in the room how in love we are.
Mrs. Howell took my hand in hers again and squeezed, but instead of letting go afterwards, she held it in her lap. "I was so happy when Daniel found you, Phil." She kissed my hand. "At first I was a little worried about him staying with somebody our family had never met, but... Now we all know you're a blessing."
"Oh wow, thank you, Mrs. Howell! Dan and I got along so well right from the beginning, so I had no problem taking him in! And now I know it's the best decision I've ever made." I smiled back at Dan, who was beaming.
"It just makes me feel so grateful when I hear Dan talk about you on the phone, about how you take care of him and love him." Tears were welling up in her brown eyes. "I feel much better living so far away from my son, knowing there's an angel watching over him."
My eyes began to water, but I blinked the tears back. Mrs. Howell reached out and hugged me, holding me much longer than normal. "I'm sorry..." She mumbled as the dried her eyes on my shirt, leaving brown makeup stains on the blue fabric.
"No reason to apologize." She kissed my hand once more before letting it go. I couldn't believe how many predisposed emotions Dan's mom had for me. I felt so warm after everything she had said. Wow, she really did love me, didn't she? And the men of the family were definitely coming along.
We all continued eating together, enjoying each others' company. My nerves had melted away and I could just be myself. After we ate, we all took our dishes to the sink for washing.
"Daniel, come here and wash with me!" Dan obeyed immediately and took his place next to his mom at the sink.
"I can help too!"
"No, no Phil! You're our guest! You just make yourself comfortable." She winked.
"Do you like video games?" Adrian poked me in the arm and inquired.
"Yeah, totally!"
"Which ones?"
"Oh ya know, the classics... Mario, Sonic, Crash Bandicoot..."
"Wanna play Super Smash Bros with me?"
"Sure!"
Adrian led me up to his room where be took out the game and another controller. His teal walls were covered with athlete posters and band posters, and his bed stood in the corner, blankets flailed all over the comforter.
"Is it cool if I'm player 1?" Adrian asked me.
"Yeah. I'm always player 2 at home." Adrian giggled and handed me the controller. We were onto the character screen, where Adrian chose Bowser and I chose The Ice Climbers. We talked as the battle went on.
"So you actually love my brother?"
"Of course. How could I not?"
"I don't know." Bowser threw a Pokeball on the ground, revealing a useless Goldeen. "How long have you guys been dating?"
"About four months now, but we kept it on the down low at the start. We told our friends and families about a month ago."
"Yeah, that's why my mom was so eager to meet you. It was one thing when you guys were just flat mates, but you're playing in an entire different ballpark now." My ice climbers picked up a fire flower and blasted a wooden box I found on the stage.
"Absolutely."
"So you guys were just friends and then all of a sudden you guys started dating?"
"It's not that simple." I laughed a little bit. "I think that Dan and I have always been 'more than friends.' When I met Dan for the first time, I knew I felt something totally different from when I met other friends. God, I was the nervousest person ever that day."
"Why were you so nervous?"
"Dan was, and is, beautiful. Stunning. It's hard to not be intimidated by someone like that until you get to know them." Bowser breathed fire onto my ice climbers as they threw ice blocks back at him. "All I could think of is 'wow, I can't believe someone like this is one of my fans and wants to hang out with me.' And once we got to know each other more and more, we became extremely close right from the start."
"So why did it take so long for you guys to get together? If you've been 'more than friends' from the start?"
"It's always more complicated if you're both guys. I thought Dan was pin-straight and couldn't love me back, so I kept my mouth shut for over a year. Dan did the same exact thing about me, until I just couldn't take it anymore, I had to tell him how I felt."
"How'd you do it?" Adrian looked genuinely curious. Even though the brothers were often assholes to each other, there was true love in his concern for Dan.
"Long story short, we were walking around a park in London, and I just turned around while he was mid-sentence and kissed him. All the confession stuff came later, but actions speak louder than words, ya know?"
"Woah." My ice climbers ran into a bob-omb on accident. "That's actually really intense. Good story, though."
"Thanks! I'm glad you liked it." What I said could barely qualify as a story but, whatever floats his boat.
"Well I'm glad you like my brother." My heart fluttered upon hearing the words of approval escape Adrian's lips.
"Really? You're being serious?"
"Totally serious. All Dan's old girlfriends were either stupid or bitchy. I didn't like any of them. But then you come along, and even though I was a little confused when I found out you were a guy, I quickly figured out that you two are perfect for each other."
"Thanks Adrian, that means a lot."
"For real though, you guys balance each other out. Dan's vulgar, but you're squeaky clean. Dan's feisty but you're super sweet. It just makes sense to me, that you'd end up together. You balance each other out."
My whole body felt warm and I couldn't control my smile. "Did I pass the test?"
"Definitely. You passed my dad's as soon as you told him you're madly in love with Dan!" Adrian chuckled at the memory. "It takes a lot of guts to look someone's parent in the eye and say that."
"Thanks, man. I was freaking out right before. It just spewed out and I didn't even think about it."
"It was the funniest thing ever."
We continued playing until Dan came in and took a seat next to me. He snugged up on my arm, showing affection. "How's it going?"
"Good!" Adrian said it loud and proud. "I really like Phil."
"Seriously, Ad? I thought you hated everybody!" Dan giggled and squeezed my arm.
"Phil's cool, you're allowed to keep him around."
Dan and I both smiled big, and he kissed my cheek.
"You're allowed to keep him around as long as you're not mushy gushy!"
"Fine, fine! Whatever." Dan's eyes met mine sweetly.
"Dan and Phil, you guys are all set up in Dan's old room!" Mrs. Howell called from the doorway. "Off to bed, you've had a long day!"
"Thanks Mrs. Howell!" I turned to Adrian, handing him the controller. "This was fun, it was great talking to you."
"Yeah, Phil. Good night!"
Dan and I walked down the hall and entered a cute room with sky blue walls, a clean desk space, and a twin bed with neatly folded quilts on it. Mrs. Howell showed me where I can put my stuff, and wrapped me in one of the quilts lovingly.
"Good night, boys!" She kissed us both on the cheek and left us alone in Dan's old room. As soon as the door closed all the way, Dan strode over to me and kissed me passionately on the lips, a kiss he had been holding onto for too long.
"You were so great today."
"You really think so?"
"I know so. Everyone loves you, even my little brother." We kissed again and kept our faces close.
"I'm so glad they like me. I love you so much, Dan, and it's so important to me that your family sees that."
"Mission accomplished, then." Dan and I laid on the small bed that barely had room for the two of us, and we snuggled as close together as we could. Dan flipped over, putting us in a spooning position, and I instinctively wrapped my arms around his tiny waist and buried my face in his soft hair, occasionally stopping to kiss his neck and he pressed back against me. I loved holding Dan like this. We were so peaceful, loving, and intimate in the tiny bed as we drifted off to sleep.