Samoan Thor

Tej wakes to his alarm, smacking it off as he scrubs a hand over his face and through the stubble on it. He takes his time getting to the side of the bed, his bones creaking. He feels twice his age. He sits on the bed for several minutes not taking in the mess of clothes on his floor. Usually he is very neat but it's getting harder to continue each time he receives a visit from him. Thoughts scatter like the wind as he deliberately moves away from thinking at ll. He heads to the shower without looking at anything further and when he has finished he leaves the bathroom without having even looked in the mirror. He knows what he'll see and he doesn't want to see it anymore.

He's at work, been working on an old womans car for the past couple of hours, he's taken to preferring the low-end garage instead of the high-end one he has that caters to racers. Tej hasn't felt like being around racers since he got back from Europe. Suddenly, as he's wiping his hands on a rag it's snatched out of his hand by the only other person other than Brian who would dare challenge him. He closes his eyes waiting for her to talk, whatever it is it won't be good. But she surprises him by yanking on his ear, and not in a good way either. Before he knows it she has hauled him over to the bench where there is a mirror stuck on the wall. "Look at yourself! You can't go on this way, you're killing yourself."

Suki has forced him eye to eye with himself in the mirror, he'd deliberately been avoiding. Tej looked at himself. His skin was sallow, his eyes sunken, the bags under them could hold a Skyline. But it was the marks on his neck that he'd been really avoiding. They're still obvious, no shirt will cover them so he hasn't even bothered to try. They're vicious bites and bruises, some are still so bad they're nearly black, others have turned that sickly green colour before they'll fade away together. But the one he's trying to avoid is still the only one he can see.

It's on the left side of his neck down at the join to his shoulder. It's scabbed over because when he'd been bitten blood had been drawn. And that had drawn him like a moth to a flame. His huge body had been behind Tej him ramming itself into him whether he'd wanted him to or not. When he'd bitten Tej and drawn blood it had incited a blood lust in him that Tej had never seen before. He'd become so hard and rough and violent inside Tej he had thought he was going to fuck him to death. He'd never been afraid of him until that time. Wary, uncertain yes. Afraid no. But he was now.

Because Tej can still feel inside him how excited he'd gotten when he'd drawn the blood on him and how excited Tej himself had gotten in turn. He had come like he'd never come before scattering himself all over the sheets on his bed. Sheets he still hadn't changed. As if he could keep his smell around him longer by not changing them. He scrubs a hand over his face again, scratches it through his hair. Suki is right, he is killing himself. Allowing himself to be used as a fuck bag for him. Whenever he's flying by it's easy to make a quick stopover. Tej, he's good man, he'll be there, he'll wait for you. He was never gonna have a relationship with the man and the sooner he recognised that the better he'd be.

He looks at Suki. "What?" She looks sad.

"I'm sorry it's not working out, I only want you to be happy Tej." She hugs him solidly, her arms holding him firmly. Her breasts press against his chest and he wishes that that turned him on. It would be so easy if it did. But then she wasn't turned on by guys so that wouldn't work either. Tej shakes his head at his musings before pulling away.

"Gotta finish this." He moves back to the car.

"And you're coming to the races tonight, I'm picking you up and I'm not taking no for an answer." She turns and walks out before he can say anything else.

Tej gets out of the shower for the second time and this time he looks in the mirror. Shaking his head at himself he shaves and trims his moustache, then he trims his hair before hopping back in the shower to rinse off the loose hair. When he is done he looks acceptable. Nothing to be done about his neck, but the scabbed over wound will be covered by a collared shirt so that's okay. Suki comes in just as he's buttoning up a shirt. His necklace catches the light as he turns to her. She smiles at him and for the first time in ten days Tej feels a smile cross his own face. It lasts until she turns around to leave the house and he follows her. While she is right he still can't really smile. He doesn't think he'll be happy again. Phantom pain on his bite mark brings him to his senses and he quickly grabs his keys and follow's Suki.

It is late when Tej is dropped off again. He is feeling mellow. More mellow than he has felt since he returned from Europe. He's had a few beers, some good conversation and no one bothered him or made comments about his bruises and marks. He'd felt normal again tonight. He thinks he can do this. He can get over him. He decides he needs to tell him that it's over. That he won't be his dirty little secret anymore. That he's worth more than a fuck to and from a job. He needs to speak to him. No, if he speaks to him he won't say anything. He needs to text him or e-mail him. Having decided this in his mildly drunk state Tej decides to do it straight away. "Have a good time boy?"

The words drop like stones in front of him. Tej feels them drop and the ripples they cause in the room fan out brush against his face. "I called but you didn't answer, so I came by. You have quite an alarm system, good thing you taught me a thing or two or I may have been still on your doorstop." He paused as he takes a slow deliberate sip of the beer he'd helped himself to from Tej' fridge. Tej notices his mobile on the table in front of him. "Care to tell me why you didn't take your phone with you tonight boy?" He always calls him that, boy. Like Tej is a lesser person. He knows he isn't but he makes him feel that way.

"I forgot it." A finely sculpted eyebrow raises mockingly at him.

"You, a tech geek forgot to take your phone? I don't fucking think so. I think you were avoiding me." He takes another sip of beer. "And I want to know why you would think that would make a difference?" He stops waiting for Tej to answer. He knows he has to, has to say he's not doing this anymore.

"No." His throat closes on more words and he's left floundering. That brow raises again.

"No?" Another sip of beer. "No, what?" Tej can't answer. He watches the smile come out again. It is simply breathtaking. "Then I guess your answer is yes then isn't it?" Tej shakes his head in another no but doesn't say anything. He simply watches mutely as he puts down the beer bottle standing to his full height. Tej can see more of his tattoo has been inked on his arm, it's slowly crawling down to his wrist. Tej used to love licking the new ink as he memorized it. But he'd stopped himself doing that when he realised whether he knew the man's ink didn't matter because he didn't and would never know the man himself.

He finds himself backing away as he is stalked until he comes up against his kitchen counter. Before he can slide one way or the other hands are on his hips pinning him in place. He closes his eyes as his traitorous cock jumps in his pants. He knows it will always jump for this man, no matter what. The hands are gentle on him though, confusing him. Tej feels him lean in as he sniffs along his neck like he always does. Tej had asked him once why he did it but he'd just smiled and not answered. When he gets to his ear he flicks his tongue against it causing Tej knees to weaken. His ears are one of his biggest turn-ons and he'd learned that the very first time they'd been together. His hears had been the catalyst actually.

They had been talking about Giselle dying. He'd said he was sorry and he'd brushed his hand over Tej' face. When his fingers had touched his ears Tej had not been able to stop himself from leaning into the touch. The softest of whines had left his mouth. And the man had hooked him. With his next touch he'd slid both hands up Tej, fingers brushing over both his ears ever so slightly like feathers. And Tej had been lost his eyes closing in pleasure as he'd felt him leaning in before he brushed their lips together so very softly. That first time had been their only soft time. Every time after that he'd been hard and demanding which Tej had loved until he'd realised that was all it was going to be. By then of course with that first tender encounter he'd been already lost. He'd fallen in love with an illusion.

And now he was going to do something about it. "No, I'm not doing this anymore, you need to go." The words came out soft, the man knew his weakness and was exploiting it to the fullest tonight, he wanted Tej and he was making it obvious. He tries again, the man was nuzzling his neck now. "I said no." His words are firmer and he pushes against the stomach pressing him into the counter. It's like trying to move a brick wall. The brick wall stops, looking at him curiously.

"I thought you wanted this, us?" His tone is puzzled. Tej laughs, the man thinks he only wants what he wants. Sex. A willing body. His cock jumps again reminding him his body is willing.

"I'm not a fucking toy to be had when you're sliding through town from here to there, I ain't your fuck buddy." He pauses as that beautiful face looks down at him quietly. Too quietly. Tej swallows, he knows how quiet and this man don't go together.

"You're not a fuck buddy? I don't recall that I ever actually called you that Parker, have I ever called you that?" His words are soft, too soft. Tej can feel himself shrinking under the man's stare.

"Don't have to, it's obvious to everyone what I am. Or what I'm not." His tone is bitter. He'd had high hopes for them. And those hopes had been dashed like a bucket of cold water in his face when the man had simply walked away from him at Dom's house after giving them their pardons. But he'd pulled himself together and gotten back to Miami opening his two garages again. And he'd been getting by. Maybe not great but he'd been getting there And one day some time later his phone had rung. The caller ID had read Samoan Thor. They'd been animals that night, at each other for hours almost without pause. Not like last time but close. Tej had ached for days afterward, he'd felt the man every time he had sat down. And a smile had crossed his face each time.

But that was then and this was now. Time after time he'd tried to take them beyond sex and each time he'd been shot down. Dinner out? No. Friends around? No. Holiday? No. Racing? No. Fishing? No. Every suggestion shot down until he'd stopped asking. And when he'd stopped asking was when he started to die on the inside. Piece by piece until there was nothing left of him but the shell standing in front of the man that had killed him.

"Get the fuck out of here man, I'm not doing this anymore." He has surprised him so much that he is able to twist away and move into the lounge room and beyond into his bedroom. He heads for the shower needing clean himself. He always makes Tej feel dirty nowadays.

When he gets out of the shower he knows he has gone. There is a stillness in the air created by the vacuum the man always leaves in his wake. Tej forces himself to look in the mirror again. His eyes are clear, he doesn't look great but his eyes are clear. He can do this. With time, he can do this. He heads in to change the sheets on his bed before getting into it for the night. Just as he's drifting off to sleep he feels what's left of his heart crack and shatter into a million pieces leaving him breathless in pain. Then sleep claims him.