Chapter 17

Castles they might crumble
Dreams may not come true
But you are never all alone
Because I will always
Always love you
~In My Arms by Plumb

"Can I get you anything else?" asked Throttle, as he took the tray holding the remains of Tam's breakfast.

"I'm fine," she said, smiling as she settled back against the pillows.

"You sure?" He sat on the edge of the mattress and brushed her hair back from her face. "I could run and get you more chocolate - or cheese. Or hey, how about both: chocolate doughnuts filled with cream cheese."

Tamerin chuckled and shook her head. "I'm fine," she repeated, "although I could use some air."

"No idea what you mean," said Throttle innocently, before peppering her face with kisses.

She chuckled again and wiggled down under the covers. Her belly, which Throttle had a hard time imagining getting any bigger, was round and visible through the blanket. Eleven months now, he thought, scarcely able to believe it as he placed his hand on her bulging middle. Their little girl's time of stillness had actually passed by quicker than it usually did, and he'd gotten to enjoy close to three months of almost non-stop kicking and wiggling around. Though Tam had been a little less excited about it once all that thrashing started keeping her up at night, he remembered with a grin.

The little one seemed to have tired herself out for now, as she'd been pretty quiet for the last few days. Throttle waited for several minutes, but didn't feel so much as a half-hearted twitch, so he pressed a kiss to her temporary home before sitting back. "You feel like reading," the tan mouse commented.

"I'm thinking about it," said Tam, with a tired smile.

"C'mon," he coaxed, pulling the covers back, "I'll carry you."

"I can still walk, you know," she said wryly, though she didn't argue as he picked her up and carried her to the den. He sat her on the futon sofa and handed his mate her data pad before kicking back on the nearby chair and grabbing a magazine. It'd been a slow morning so far and he was content to relax before heading to work. Tam was on maternity leave - at Charley's insistence - but she got bored sitting around at home and usually dropped in to say hi sometime during the day, or went out to see Ash. Or sometimes she determinedly went all the way to Slingshot's and hung out in the arcade for a few hours.

"Y'know, if you're going to keep being stubborn at this stage, maybe we should switch bikes for now," he suggested casually. "The ol' girl will make sure you don't lose your balance."

"I'll be fine," Tamerin said crisply. "And I'm not stubborn."

Throttle sniggered for a minute. "Whatever you say, dear."

He continued to flip through the bike magazine for a while, the crinkle of the pages mingling with the quiet beeps coming from Tamerin's data pad as she scrolled through the Imeeran novel she'd been reading. The beeps paused when she reached a new page and resumed when she digitally flipped to the next one, so when they went quiet again he didn't think anything of it. Not until he felt a quaver of something pass through their bond. Something that made him drop his magazine and look up in alarm.

"Are you okay?"

Tamerin had her eyes closed and one hand pressed to her belly. Her grip had turned limp and her data pad slipped from her fingers. "I don't know," she murmured, voice faint. "I feel funny."

"Funny how?" Throttle asked anxiously, as he hurried over and took her hand. "Like 'ha-ha' funny or 'weird' funny?"

He sure hoped she wasn't in any pain. It was hard to say for certain; that odd something still quavering in their bond didn't give him much to go on, other than she felt uneasy, and weak all of a sudden. Her hand cupped her belly tighter. "Like 'I think it's time' funny."

For a second Throttle looked blankly at her - and then it hit him, so hard he was pretty sure his stomach dropped out and his heart stopped. "Time?" he squeaked.

Wait, he knew this. 'Time' meant 'time to go to the hospital.' He knew what to do. "Hospital," he mumbled out loud, as he bolted up and started running for the door. "Gotta get to the hospital. I got this."

He almost made it out to his bike before he realized he'd forgotten something. Grinning sheepishly, he ran back to the den. "Gotta get the mother of my child to the hospital," he corrected. "I definitely got this."

During his brief absence Tamerin had slumped down on the sofa, one hand pressed over her eyes. "Just give me a minute," she whispered. "I-I'm so dizzy..."

She didn't look right either, Throttle noted with a frown. Her face was suddenly drawn, and...had she gone pale? It was hard to tell. "Come on," he said gently, as he took her hands and helped her ease up from the sofa. "I can carry you outside."

Tamerin was barely on her feet when she wobbled and her knees buckled; he scarcely caught her in time to lower her carefully to the rug. He started to adjust his hold, ready to lift her and carry her as promised, but the snow-skinned Imeeran shook her head, emotions pleading. "Not yet. I'm still so dizzy - just let me lie here until my head stops spinning..."

The tan mouse waited anxiously for several minutes, holding her hand and petting it, but the feeling of uncertainty about moving didn't leave her. Throttle's gaze kept shifting to the middle she was clutching so protectively. "Are you in any pain?" he ventured.

She shook her head. "No - not yet. It's just pressure. A lot of pressure."

She didn't say 'more pressure than I think there should be,' but he felt it in her just the same. Throttle continued to hold her hand, though his eyes went unfocused as he started going over his options. Taking her to the hospital on his bike was obviously out, but there were other vehicles. He could ask one of their friends for help - or just ask the hospital to send something over directly.

He focused on Tamerin again and smoothed her hair off her face. "You want me to call someone?" he asked in a soft voice.

"Dee," was her faint response.

Even better. If the little doc wasn't available to transport over here, they could transport over there - no tense rides necessary. He quickly got up and went to the bedroom to grab his communicator...only when he opened the nightstand drawer, it wasn't there. "Great - where'd it go?" he muttered aloud as he started rummaging.

He couldn't remember where he'd had it last. And why had he decided not to just keep it with him again? Frustration and worry mounting, he dumped the drawer out before hurrying around the bed and doing the same with Tam's, but there was no sign of her communicator either. He knew she wasn't wearing it today, so he just about turned their bedroom upside-down before he gave up and rushed back to his mate's side. While he was gone he'd felt her own worry growing rapidly, and when he got back to her she had turned herself around. She was sitting partway up now, her back propped against the side of the sofa. Both hands clutched her belly and she was breathing shallowly.

Trying not to let his alarm get out of control, Throttle knelt beside her. "Does it hurt now?"

Her forehead lined. "A-a little," she breathed. "It's mostly pressure - there's so much pressure..."

Closing her eyes again, she pulled in a breath and released it slowly. "I couldn't find either of our communicators," Throttle reported, though she had probably figured that out already. "I'm going to go call the hospital."

"Wait," Tamerin pleaded, as he started to stand again. "Before you run off, will you check? I can't."

"Check?"

She nodded dully and pointed to a spot lower than her belly. "Oh. Right."

Her mate wasn't sure what he was going to do if there was actually something to see, but he did as he was told and eased up the hem of her nightgown. When he got it to her knees he discovered that she hadn't bothered putting anything on underneath today. "Too much work," she mumbled in response to his unspoken question.

Throttle eased her nightgown a little higher before taking a peek between her knees. At least, he'd planned to only take a peek. But what met his eyes had him mutely staring for a moment. "Um..."

Tamerin's worry spiked. "What?" she asked, voice rising.

His own worry was mounting in a hurry - and he was pretty sure if he didn't reign it in it was going to morph into panic. "I, um, think that even if we call the hospital this very second they're not going to get here before we have to deal with this ourselves."

"What?" his mate repeated. "Why, what is it?"

"It's, um..."

"Is it a head?" she pressed sharply.

"I think so. Yes."

A bubble of panic rose up inside her, which made him start to lose his cool too. Heart pounding so hard it echoed in his ears, Throttle started to get up again. "I'll go-"

"No!" Tamerin cried, grabbing his hand and stopping him. "Please, don't leave me alone."

Throttle was ready to run to the phone and start yelling for help at anyone who'd listen...but the one he loved was pleading with him to stay - pleading with her voice, her heart, her eyes. He stayed. "How much is showing?" she faltered, her grip on his hand tightening. "Is it a little or a lot?"

He looked again and couldn't be sure if anything had changed from a moment ago or if it was just his imagination. "It looks like a lot," he said slowly, trying not to panic her - or himself.

"Do I need to start pushing? Is it that much?"

He couldn't be sure of that, but to him it looked like their little daughter was trying to come into the world whether Tam pushed or not. "I think so," he said again.

For a second she felt terrified, and he with her. This moment was a big first for both of them - she'd never given birth herself and he'd never watched anyone do it - and would've been a scary unknown by itself, but knowing there could be complications they weren't prepared for, and that they were here alone...

Throttle took both her hands and held them tight. "I won't leave you."

They weren't prepared - they didn't have so much as a towel - but if this was the way this was going to happen, then they'd deal with it as it happened, together. With this resolve came a sudden wave of calm; he smiled softly and kissed his mate's cheek. "I love you."

Her eyes turned misty as she smiled back. "I know. Me too."

She squeezed his hands - and then, to his surprise, pushed them away. "It's really starting to hurt," she said, face lining as she braced herself. Her heels dug into the floor. "I'm going to start pushing now."

Throttle's heart turned over, but he nodded. "Okay."

He started to reach for her hands again, wanting to help her steel herself for the effort, but she pushed them away again. "You need to catch."

'Oh, that's right,' he wanted to say, but his throat had suddenly grown too tight. Heart hammering again, he scooted around her legs and guided his shaking hands into what he hoped was the right position. He hoped that his cupped, unsteady hands were enough.

Before he had a chance to think twice about it, Tamerin had sucked in a huge gulp of air and started pushing. There was already a head showing, and he'd heard that female Imeeran muscles got the job done quicker than most, but it still happened faster than he thought it would. Before he fully processed everything, what she'd been carrying inside her for all these months was pushed out into the world and into his waiting hands.

They'd planned for this day for so long, yet it'd come sooner than they thought and so unexpectedly, and for a moment he was dumbstruck. This had all happened so fast and not at all the way either of them had pictured. Was it really happening? Was what he was holding really real?

Over the last eleven months he'd pictured so many things, some of them horrible, some of them beautiful. But none of them were anything close to what reality proved to be. He mutely took in the moist, glossy white fur, the chubby paw-like hands and feet. The tiny fingers tipped with even tinier claws. His gaze traveled over a round middle, short arms and legs, up to a round face, muzzle, and ears. He brought his fingertips up to brush a tiny black nose, and as he cradled the little fidgeting being his other hand felt the stub of a tail.

Tam was still resting back against the sofa and panting for breath, but Throttle could tell by how focused she was on the two of them that she was recovering rapidly. He wasn't looking at her, but he sensed her eagerness, her want to better see what he was holding. "What is it?" she asked, voice stronger now.

"It's..."

No, he silently scolded himself, not 'it'. She. She was a beautiful baby girl. "She's fine. She's..."

She was still fidgeting in the arms he held her with, making quiet baby noises and fussing gently but not quite crying. He again took in the shape of her head, her ears, the largeness of her eyes. Eyes that slowly opened and looked at him. Eyes that were identical to her mother's, down to the shade of abalone blue and the black rings around the irises. Throttle's own eyes clouded with tears even as laughter bubbled out of him.

"What is it?" Tamerin asked again, puzzled joy in her voice. She didn't know what to make of his reaction, but since it was the last one she'd been expecting, she was taking it as a good sign. "What's so funny? Why are you laughing?"

"Because," Throttle said, with another laugh and a sniffle. "My cute little snow bunny just gave birth to a polar bear."

Tamerin gave a laugh of her own in response, not quite believing him, but he scooted closer and carefully placed their newborn baby girl in her arms. His mate went quiet for a few minutes, studying the fidgeting creature the same way he just did. She delicately traced the round muzzle, the little black nose, the small, perfectly round ears. 'Polar' was a bit of an exaggeration, but she was definitely white and bear-like.

The little one stopped fussing and cuddled against her breastbone, instinctively sensing her mother and seeking out the safety her strong form offered. Her little face nestled in the hollow of Tam's throat with a sound was almost like a purr. Holding her close, the motherly connection Tamerin felt was radiating from her. "She's not quite what I was expecting, but..."

"But she's still perfect," Throttle finished, drawing his hand over their daughter's furry head.

She was content to drift off to sleep after the strenuous act of being born, and didn't open her eyes again until after her parents had cleaned her up, wrapped her in a blanket and moved to the bedroom. By the time her big blue eyes blinked back open Tam was snuggled comfortably in bed with her, and Throttle had finally found his communicator and contacted Dee. Since the birth had gone quickly and easily and the baby seemed healthy and strong, she planned to drop by with enough equipment for a small exam for now. They could teleport to the hospital for something more thorough later.

She was definitely strong; Throttle was sure of it. She was stocky and solid to hold, and when her tiny fingers closed around one of his own as he touched her hand, her grip was firm.

Her large eyes watched her parents with clear trust. Heart bursting with love, Throttle tightened his arm around his mate as he gazed at the child they'd made together. "What are we going to call her?" he asked.

They'd talked a little about it in recent months but hadn't wanted to make any concrete decision until after their baby was born. Tamerin's smile was gentle as she stroked their daughter's plump cheek. "I think she looks like a Thea. Don't you?"

Smiling in return, the tan mouse held her just a little closer. "Works for me."

Tamerin watched their new baby quietly for several minutes, then lifted her head and looked in his eyes. "It's been quite a year," she noted, sounding as tired and relieved as she felt. "But we don't need to worry anymore. I think everything's going to be okay now."

Throttle kissed her cheek before resting his hand on Thea's head, softly caressing one of her small ears. "Everything's going to be better than okay. I'm sure of it."

"That's great, thanks for calling."

"Who was that?" wondered Joy, as Saber said goodbye and closed the vidphone.

"Throttle - their baby was just born. There weren't any complications and it looks like she's strong and healthy."

Joy let out a happy sound and hugged him. "That's wonderful! I'm so happy for them."

The two of them had been playing video games together - didn't all couples do that? - but now they stood quietly in the middle of the game room, enjoying the simple pleasure of holding each other, of being close. When Joy lifted her eyes, Saber sensed what she was about to ask a second before she opened her mouth.

"Do you think that's something we'll ever go through?"

The sable hybrid shrugged. "Not likely," he murmured, stroking her hair. "I've never been tested to be sure, but my mom told me years ago that I'm probably like Ashlin."

Joy was quiet for a moment. "I'm not half rat," she said, head cuddling on his shoulder, "but the same is probably true for me, too."

Another second or two of silence passed as Saber combed his fingers through her hair before asking, casually, "Do you think, someday, that's something we'll want to make sure of?"

The pale-furred half-mouse lifted her head, her eyes bright and hopeful as they met his own. "I sure hope so, and someday soon."

Her green eyes were expectant now. Smiling softly, Saber cupped her face and caressed her cheeks with his thumbs. "I'm ready if you are. If you'll have me."

With a delighted squeal, Joy gave a hop, threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. "Is that a yes?" he teased when they broke apart for air.

She was so happy she didn't bother thinking up a retort before kissing him again. Her grip on him tightened, her hands caressing his hair, his shoulders, his face. The kiss was deep and intimate - and sensual enough to make his blood start heating. Though the excitement rising inside him didn't want to, he slowly broke away again, and when Joy tightened her hold and tried to draw closer he shook his head. "I'd like to behave for now," he said in response to her look of disappointment.

"My parents didn't behave," she pointed out.

"Mine didn't either."

"And neither did Modo and Ashlin, and they're the saintliest people we know."

"I know," said Saber, feeling embarrassed. It was hard to explain. "I just...I don't know. I want it to be special. Really special. Wedding night, champagne glasses, rose petals and silk sheets special."

"Wow. You make it sound so negative."

Saber rolled his eyes; Joy giggled and kissed his nose. "Okay," she relented, "behaving it is. You'll just have to marry me in a hurry so the wait won't be as torturous."

The sable hybrid almost rolled his eyes again. "Not all guys are like that, you know."

There was something knowing and smug in Joy's smile as she combed his hair back from his forehead. "I wasn't talking about just the physical connection."

"Oh?"

"No," she went on casually, still combing his hair, "I'm talking about that other special connection only some of us can do."

Saber caught on. She meant that mental connection mice with antennas could make, both with each other and those who didn't have them themselves. It was a connection that varied in strength and intensity depending on the skill of the mouse, and the level of emotion that existed between the two minds being bridged. When he was small his mother used to share her feelings with him, usually when he was scared about something and she wanted to soothe and reassure him, or when she just felt like showing how much she loved him. It'd been years since he experienced that connection and his memories of it were fuzzy.

"I don't think that's very risky," he pointed out. "It's only sharing emotions and memories, right?"

"Yes," she allowed, smile coy now. "But it can also reveal desires. Might turn out to be too tempting."

The rat-cross lifted an eyebrow. "That much?" he questioned doubtfully.

Smile softening, Joy cupped his face and coaxed him to lean down a little. "Let me give you a small sample - just enough for you to get an idea about what to expect along with the champagne and rose petals."

And she touched the tips of her antennas to his forehead, her green eyes drifting shut as the contact was made. Saber's own eyes widened for a moment, the feelings rushing into him stealing his breath away. He felt more than just a teasing desire; he felt happiness, and hope, and love. So, so much love. Love that had been growing quietly for all of Joy's life, and now that she had his love in return, she couldn't be more like her name if she tried.

It was a feeling so powerful it swept everything else away, until the only thing he was aware of were the feelings burning in her heart - feelings that were only for him. His own feelings rushed into her in return, their two hearts connecting as if one. When he felt that connection being taken away he fought against it, tightening the arms he hadn't realized he'd locked around her. Deepening the kiss he hadn't realized he'd been giving.

Joy finally twisted her face away and panted for breath. The abrupt severing of their mental connection as her antennas left his forehead left Saber feeling empty and disappointed. But instead of trying to push to reconnect, he slowly withdrew his arms. "I think that was enough of a sample for now," he murmured.

His future wife was flushing, but she smiled. "For now," she echoed.

It had been a long time since Throttle felt this level of peace. A peace brought on by cradling his baby girl in his arms, and knowing that she was strong inside and out - knowing that all their hopes over the last eleven months hadn't been in vain. All the worrying and uncertainties and anxious nights were gone. Now there was just peace, and the joy of being a parent.

After wrapping Thea more snugly in her blanket - the pink one Tam had knit just because - Throttle gently rocked his arms as he paced the length of the nursery. "What do you think?" he asked softly, eyes on the décor. "Your mommy did a great job, huh?"

Looking at it now, you'd never know it used to look like a typical teenager's room - a teenager with a passion for science, that is. The once dark walls were now painted a soft rose, the ceiling a creamy eggshell. Running around the perimeter of the room near the ceiling was a paper border, colored blue with an abstract image like rolling waves printed on it. The floor was covered in a plush white rug.

The furniture was white and simple. A chest of drawers currently stuffed with diapers and baby clothes; a rocking chair draped with a blanket; a padded stool; a changing table; a mini nightstand with a mini lamp that served as a nightlight; a sturdy crib, which was designed in a way that reminded him of a day bed and only had one rail that raised and lowered in the front.

There was also a new alcove at the back of the room, with a padded bench that looked kind of like a window seat without the window. The bench was decorated with plump cushions and had a lid that opened up to a large storage space inside. Right now it was full of baby supplies, but Throttle pictured it crammed with toys in a couple of years.

Having been born plump and stocky, and heavier than he anticipated, Thea was already too big for the newborn-sized Daddy's Little Biker Girl onsie he'd gotten her. So, with a little help from Ashlin, it had been re-purposed into a small pillow that now graced the bench alongside the other cushions.

Smiling, Throttle rocked his baby girl again - only instead of continuing to doze quietly, Thea suddenly squirmed and let out a pitiful mewling sound. Throttle cuddled her and cooed reassuringly, but her fussing grew, and when he tickled her little nose she latched onto his finger.

"Ah," he said, understanding. "Let's go find mommy."

Tam was keeping tabs on them like only she could, and by the time he tracked her to the den sofa she'd already undressed to the waist. With a loving smile on her face, she held out her arms and accepted their hungry little girl from him; Thea squirmed some more in response and made unhappy sounds as she started rooting anxiously. She soon latched on, the unhappy sounds replaced with ones of contentment as her tiny paw-like hand kneaded the side of her mother's milk-swollen breast. Throttle watched, nose wrinkling a little, as Tam's white skin dimpled under the pressure of Thea's delicate black claws. "Does that hurt?"

His mate's motherly smile didn't change as she smoothed her hand over their daughter's fuzzy head. "A little," she allowed. "It's worth it."

It was all worth it, or so Throttle discovered during the first month of Thea's life. He gladly rolled out of bed to bring their fussing baby to her mother for a meal in the dead of night, he changed diapers with a smile, he was delighted to give her a bath for the very first time. Maybe in another few months the hectic pace would start to tire him out, but right now it all brought him nothing but happiness.

They'd conquered the odds and Thea was healthy and sound through and through. It was a thrill to go to her crib every morning and see her big, bright blue eyes open in greeting. She was too young to smile, but he was sure he saw recognition in those abalone orbs when he picked her up. It would be a long while yet before they'd know if she could sense emotions, but when he cradled her to his chest and she cuddled against him contently, he knew his overflowing love was strong enough for her to feel whether she was empathic or not.

Those first few weeks flew by, and before they knew it Thea was a month old, a year almost to the day from that fateful afternoon when Tam first found out she was carrying her. The morning Thea turned a month old, Throttle gave her a bath and carefully dried her glossy white fur, then dressed her in a pink jumper dress and a matching baby bonnet trimmed with lace.

Charley didn't expect Tam to come back to work for another month, but she still dropped by the garage frequently. Today she planned to spend a few hours there, and she was bringing Thea along for the first time. Throttle helped get the one-month-old ready for the trip, making sure she was freshly changed and the diaper bag was packed with everything she could possibly need.

When he went into the bedroom with Thea cradled in the crook of his arm and the pink-and-blue diaper bag slung over his shoulder, Tamerin started chuckling. "You're looking particularly BA today, hot shot."

"You hear that?" the tan mouse asked his bear-like daughter. "Your mommy is picking on me for being a model daddy."

Tamerin merely smiled as he pretended to pout. Her eyes trailed over him as she laced up her boots before standing. "You don't have to do everything yourself, you know."

"I don't mind," he said. "You worked hard putting her together for eleven months. Now it's my turn to work."

Her gaze and smile softened, and the feeling of her love sweeping over him was like a tender embrace. She drew closer, placed her hands on his shoulders and kissed him firmly. Throttle put his free arm around her and held her tight, and when they parted they headed out to his bike. Thanks to the ol' girl's built in sidecar, ready at the push of a button, traveling with an infant was easy and safe. After passing Thea to Tam and making sure the two of them were seated comfortably and secure, he took off for the garage.

As he was pulling to a stop outside the main door, a familiar rushing sound made the two of them look up. Even though the black craft was almost out of sight by the time they'd tracked it down with their eyes, they still waved before heading inside.

The new baby excitement was ages away from wearing off and his bros and the other mechanics greeted them cheerfully. Joy was here too, and she ran over to kiss Thea's cheek before displaying her hand to the baby's parents. "Check it out," she said, face aglow with happiness.

On her finger was a gold ring with a pink gemstone. Throttle had never seen her so happy, and both he and Tam offered their congratulations - again. Beaming, she scampered out to her bike and returned to the orphanage; Saber came strolling in a few minutes later. He was taking a few days off as he handled wedding preparations and looked a little tired this morning, but every bit as happy as his future bride.

"Your mom seems to be spending a lot of time with her birthday toy," Throttle observed, as Tam adjusted her hold on Thea and went over to chat with Charley.

The sable hybrid made a face. "I think she figures staying in the sky is the best way to avoid my dad," he said, shrugging.

"Oh? Did they have a fight?"

Throttle couldn't imagine Poison fighting with anyone, least of all his wife. He wasn't a guy who raised his voice; he intimidated people into submission with a glare and one word or less.

"Not exactly," said Saber, shrugging again. "But my dad keeps giving her this weird look, and my mom keeps saying no."

The tan mouse couldn't help snickering, pretty sure he knew what that weird look meant.

The two of them talked for a few minutes more, and then Saber excused himself to do some shopping. Vector watched him leave sadly, and a little longingly - because anything, even helping your best bud shop for wedding stuff, was better than staying indoors and working.

Catching the look on his son's face, Vinnie chuckled. "Go on," he told him.

Vector eagerly abandoned what he was doing and ran off. And with Tam having a little girl talk with Charley, Throttle found himself standing around with his bros. Since the arrival of a new baby in his life, quality guy time wasn't something he'd had a whole lot of recently.

As if sensing what he was thinking, Modo handed him a cold bottle of root beer with a grin. "Life's been pretty crazy lately, huh?" he observed.

"Yes," Throttle allowed, "but when isn't it?"

Constant flow and change was the very nature of life. Even after all that had happened, he knew there was plenty more waiting to happen in the very near future. There would be more births, more weddings, more losses, and more tears and joy and laughter. No matter what, life never stopped moving.

~Fin~

Many thanks to all my dear readers and to everyone who helped me through the rough patches I hit while writing this story - I couldn't have done it without you! Coming up next is a short followup titled After AIM.