Ummmmmm….yeah….plot bunny wheeeee. I have no idea what this is but my goal is that it should be funny. If it makes you laugh then I won. This has been bugging me for weeks and I break out in spontaneous laughter…..I've had a lot of people stare at me. For the purpose of this story Richard is about twelve and Tim is seven."

PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGEBREEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAK!

It had been a long day aboard the watchtower. There were mechanical failures, computer glitches, and quite a bit of engine trouble in two of the Javelins. There had been people working on them all day and the lights still flickered like strobe lights every fifteen minutes but only in one specific hallway, at least half of the Justice League members were locked out of the computer, and the two Javelins still weren't working. All that would eventually be fixed but this was an important meeting.

And Batman wasn't here…..if he had been here when he was supposed to then he probably would have wound up running around and fixing everything. Glitches made the man twitch.

"I vote we just call him, put the guy on speaker and have the meeting that way." Flash threw the suggestion out after a few minutes of impatient silence.

Everyone simply shrugged and nodded as Clark connected the speaker box to his Justice League communicator and called Bruce.

"What?" Naturally he sounded annoyed.

"Where are you?" John asked.

"In the cave, where else?"

"There was a scheduled meeting today."

They were met by a long drawn out silence.

"….Today's Thursday?"

"Yes Bruce. Today is Thursday." Superman said between chuckles. "How long have you been sitting at that gigantic computer of yours?"

"…..Since….Tuesday I think."

"Well, this is officially meeting time."

"Okay."

"Very well." J'onn began. "As everyone knows we've been having some difficulty with the computer systems and Javelins number eight and twelve."

"You have?"

"Yes Bruce we have. You really need to remember that there is a thing called time and you should keep track of it." Shayera stated.

"Well, instead of tracking time I've been tracking a serial killer that really likes children, tortures, and burns his victims alive. You were saying?"

There was another long pause.

"…Back at the farm…." Clark's voice was quiet and awkward.

"How long have the computers been glitching and what exactly are they doing?" Batman asked.

"Well roughly half of the League's members have been locked out of the computer, the cameras shut of periodically, and a couple of our files have disappeared, and don't even go in hologram training room."

Another long pause and then Bruce responded.

"Alright I know what your problem is, here's what you need to do…..RICHARD! YOU TAKE TIM'S HEAD OUT OF THE BATMOBILE THIS INSTANT!"

Everyone in the room sat ramrod straight and stared at the speaker box with wide eyes and jaws dropped."

"I do not care what he took! You take your little brother's head out of the Batmobile engine!" Bruce's voice had risen to something in between a deep bellow and a screech.

J'onn looked at the speaker like it had grown legs, Wally's eyes were seconds from popping out of his head and rolling off the table, Superman was desperately trying not to laugh, Shayera was just outright laughing, John was right next to her, and Diana had tilted her head to the side in pure confusion.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S STUCK!? You got his head stuck in the engine?! Richard what the hell were you thinking?!"

There was the distant sound of a child begging for his life, and the sound of a smaller one crying and screaming in terror.

"No Timmy, sweetheart it's okay I'll get you out, calm down. Good god Richard how did you DO this!?"

Clark had lost his control and was slumped over the table holding his sides.

"YOU, go upstairs in your room and wait for me! ALFRED! Please, please, please go get some butter or something to slide Tim's head out of here. DO NOT argue with me Richard! You get in your room before I break your neck!"

"Master Bruce just take a breath and calm down." Alfred's voice was quiet but distinguishable.

There was a long breath took in as a growl and let out as a hiss.

"Thank you Alfred." Bruce had obviously not calmed down at all judging by the strained voice leaking through clenched teeth. "It's okay Timmy. Don't cry we're gonna get your head out soon and then I swear to god you can eat ice cream until you puke."

"Master Bruce!"

"Yes! I know you never let me do that! But I never had my head stuck in a military grade automobile engine!"

More crying, more of Batman comforting a small child, and more laughing on the watchtower. Everyone felt a little bad for laughing at the situation because there was a little child crying on the other end of the line.

"It's no use Alfred we're gonna have to cut him out. Damn it I love this car. Go get me a wet towel, a fire extinguisher, the small band saw, and the propane torch."

Everyone had backed a good distance away and slapped their hands over their mouths to muffle their laughter. Batman would kill them if he caught them laughing at this and he would turn off his communicator. They really wanted to know how this ended.

"It's okay Timmy. No, no Daddy's not gonna burn you I promise. Just stay really still. RICHARD, WHAT DID I TELL YOU TO DO?! YOU GET BACK UP THOSE STAIRS MISTER! I'm gonna put this over your head and around your neck okay? There's gonna be a lot of noise just don't move."

There was a tense silence followed by screeching and metal being torn and sliced. The noise lasted a good while and everyone stopped laughing and stared tensely at the black speaker box. Suddenly, after what seemed like an eternity the noise stopped and the sound of crying grew louder than it had been before.

"There we go. See Tim, I promised I'd get you out and I promised you'd be okay. Don't cry. You're out. Now, what was it that you did to make your brother so mad?"

The response was too quiet for the communicator to pick up.

"You took his what? And….where is it now? Okay Timmy why don't you go with Alfred now and he'll get you some ice cream."

There was another long pause.

"Richard, I know you snuck down here again. You come here right now and if I have to come look for you, you are not going to like what happens. Now, what's this about a magazine?"

Another long moment of a child begging for his life.

"As far as I'm concerned if I didn't see it, it doesn't exist. But I'm watching you and you know you can't hide anything from me. If I find one of your little magazines I can promise you are going to be scarred for life. Consider yourself lucky that it was Tim and not me."

Batman was good at making people cry and apparently young children fell into his realm of expertise because that kid was bawling.

"Now, about what you did to your brother. You are to go to school, come straight home, go right to your room and stay there. I will be clearing out your room of all video games, books, and anything that holds any form of entertainment for you. You will eat your meals in there and you will not leave your room for any reason other than your life being in danger. This will go on for a month."

Richard was not happy with this new arrangement.

"Well that will teach you not to shove your brother's head into an engine!"

They couldn't take it anymore, everyone burst out laughing. They collapsed into chairs and held their sides as they laughed and laughed and laughed.

"I'm done. I give up. Today, I give up. Richard I am clearing out your room and then I will proceed to do something I haven't done since I was seven. Absolutely nothing. Today I am going up to my room to watch the walls melt. If you guys bother me…..I….will….mangle…..you. They will have to identify your bodies via your dental records, do you understand me?! Batman over and out."

"Woooow. Should someone go check on him? He sounded a little…..crazy." Flash looked around the room wide eyed after wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Yeah….let's reschedule this for later." Clark stood up and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm the most durable I'll go check on him."

Superman walked out of the door with a wave and a slightly scared look on his face. The only thing running through all of their minds, was that that had been the best meeting ever!

AAAAAAANNNNNNDI'MDOOOOOONENOOOOOWOOOOOEEEEEEGHOSTV OICE

Yeah….well…tell me what you thought and I may do more. Vote on what you want to happen next? Idk as long as you enjoyed it that's fine with me.