Chapter 7: I Want Crazy

Jenny woke up to the sun slowly filling her bedroom. She always loved how the light warmed the room each morning. She stretched and felt the twinge in her ankle and neck. Her eyes still had a lingering bluish tint to them from the shots she took to her nose but for the most part, it was her neck and ankle that were bugging her.

She had been asleep for about 20 hours and her body was thanking her. Jethro had escorted her to the hospital and then home where he helped her out of her clothes and into a tee shirt and shorts, and he got her settled in bed.

She needed to shower, she felt really gross. She made her way to her bathroom and started to run the hot water. She looked at herself in the mirror, she as going to have to use a considerable amount of concealer before heading to the Navy Yard.

She stood under the hot water going over the events of the last couple of days in her head. While she should have been more concerned with almost losing her life, her mind kept returning to Jethro. Complicated was the only word that kept coming to her mind.

As Jenny perused her closest she needed to pick her outfit carefully. With her ankle on the fritz, she couldn't go for her usual heels yet she still wanted to display her strength to her agents. She wanted to look powerful, sexy, and confident.

She went with knee high black flat boots, a gray and black checkered pencil skirt that was probably a little tighter and shorter than appropriate for work, and a black turtleneck sweater. She didn't need everyone starring at her bruised neck all day. Hiding the bruises on her face was much harder but she figured she would hide behind her shades until she reached her office.

When the elevator binged and she emerged into the bullpen she could hear the volume of noise subside as everyone stopped to glimpse at her strolling across the floor. She purposely made eye contact with no one but she could feel every one starting at her. As she made her way up the stairs she felt a particular glare more intensity and against her better judgment she looked off the left and saw Jethro tracking her every movement. She turned back before their eyes meet and made it to the safety of her office. She hoped he was smart enough to not run right after her.

She was pleasantly surprised that she got through most of her morning before Jethro decided he needed to see her. He waltzed right in without knocking and sat down in the chair opposite her. She continued to type her e-mail and waited for him to speak first. Of course, he didn't, he just stubbornly waited her out. She stopped typing and looked up at him. He tilted his head to the side while looking at her as if he were trying to solve a puzzle. Finally she had enough

"What?" she said.

"That's quite a skirt you're sporting. Hot lunch date?" he asked.

"Did you really come up her to discuss my skirt Jethro?" she asked in return. They both liked to answer each other's questions with more questions, this way they never had to answer anything.

Finally he threw a red FBI folder on her desk. She grabbed it and asked while opening the folder "What's this?"

"Apparently when the FBI processed your house they found fresh seamen on your sheets" he began. Jenny closed her eyes, knowing exactly what was coming next "they were hoping it was Martinez and they would have fresh DNA evidence against him" he continued. She flipped through the pages and started shaking her head when the picture from Jethro's NCIS ID was staring back up at her from page two of the report.

"Tobias was kind enough to remove this particular piece of evidence before it reached the final report. It's yours to keep" he finished

"Great" she said sarcastically "I'll mount it to my refrigerator"

Jethro was disappointed, she had climbed back into her protective shell. He decided not to press her and give her a little time to herself. He got up and walked out the door without a word.

She didn't notice the disappointment on her face. Instead, she was wondering about what this little red file on her desk was going to do to her career.

It was getting late now and Jenny was watching the sunset from her office. She was exhausted and probably shouldn't have put in a full day. She packed up her things to go and headed to the elevator. She was waiting for the elevator to arrive when she felt a sudden rush of vertigo and she steadier herself by reaching out for the wall. She took a few deep breathes when someone came up beside her and grabbed her bag from her other arm. She was grateful as she now had two arms to steady herself.

The elevator arrived and the two former partners and lovers entered the elevator together. Jenny was not in the least bit surprised when Jethro immediately flipped the switch to stop the elevator. She was waiting for her scolding about working too hard and coming back to fast. She was surprised when he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into an embrace. He was both hugging and holding her at the same time.

Usually she would have backed away from this sort of physical contact but she was so tired and weak that she simply melted into his arms. Neither of them spoke. She wrapped her arms around his body and rested her check on his chest. Without her heels she was considerably shorter than him and her entire head fit under his chin. When she realized she couldn't do this alone anymore she whispered softly "Take me home, Jethro"

It was probably around 4am on Saturday morning and Jethro was working in his boat. He had taken Jenny home last night but he left quickly after, she was vulnerable and tired and he didn't want to push her into saying or doing anything she would regret, no matter how badly he wanted to crawl in bed with her.

He tried to sleep after he got home but his mind was playing tricks on him. Why did he care so much? Why was he trying so hard? She clearly was not giving him the green light, why can't' he just move on?

An hour or so earlier, Jenny had woken from a nightmare. She wasn't sure if it was an old or new monster that was taunting her sleep but either way, she was awake for the day. She went downstairs to make coffee when she noticed Jethro's jacket in the foyer. She had worn it home from the hospital and forgot it was there. She picked it up and took a deep breathe inhaling his scent. God he smelt good.

She slipped the jacket on, it felt like a child's favorite blanket. It kept her warm and soothed her inner demons. She stood in front of the coffee maker and put her hands in the pockets of his jacket as she waited. That is when she felt the piece of paper folded in his jacket.

She pulled it out and opened it up, there staring back at her was picture of the two of them making love. She wasn't so much shocked that this photo existed. Instead, she was transfixed by the expression on his face. She finally understood. Now, she had to explain it to him.

Jethro was still in his basement. The smell of the wood and the concentration of the work kept some of the thoughts at bay. That all ended, however, when he heard a noise. He looked up and saw a pair of white legs descending the staircase.

She was in the tee shirt and shorts that he helped her put on for bed. Over top of that, she had on is jacket from the night he rescued her. She walked slowly to his work bench, she boosted herself up so she was sitting on the table and then she opened up the picture and pretended to study it.

In all the confusion Jethro had forgotten about the photo. He watched her studying the picture, wondering what the hell was going through her mind. Finally she spoke "You know, Jethro, we really need to stop communicating through outwear"

He just continued to stare at her. So she was going to make light of the situation. Jethro wasn't real happy about that. The Dear John letter she sent him hurt him far greater than he would ever admit too. When she looked up she saw the pain in his eyes and felt guilty.

She could read his mind so well and she knew now was the time to come clean so she began her story.

"I left because I was afraid" she began. "I joined NCIS to avenge my father. He was portrayed as a traitor who took his own life. My father dedicated himself to his country. He was everything to me"

Jethro listened in silence but he kept his eyes fixed on hers. She looked around the room as she told her story. Sometimes glancing up to the ceiling, sometimes at her feet, but she never looked straight at him.

She continued after a pause "When I meet you, you made the pain go away. You made me stop hurting." She paused again. "I needed to stay broken, Jethro. I need to finish what I started. I ran because I was in too deep" Finally she looked at him, "I want you to understand that you fixed me but I didn't want to be fixed. I wanted to stay broken"

He swallowed as he took it all in. He knew exactly what she meant. She had filled a large part of the void that haunted him since the death of Shannon and Kelly. No one else came close to filling that gap the way she did.

Finally, he found his voice. "and now?" he said softly.

Her eyes started to fill with tears and she tried to find the words. She said in a quiet whisper "I'm not Shannon, Jethro. And after a few fun months you will remember that, then you will move on like you always do and then I'll be broken all over again"

Jethro closed his eyes to gather his strength then he stood up and walked over to her. He positioned himself between her legs as she sat on his work bench. She was looking down into her lap, he slowly lifted her chin until she was looking into his eyes. Neither of them had shed a tear but both of their eyes were filled with water. He moved his lips to her injured ear and whispered "I don't want you to be Shannon, I am in love with you."

They sat silent for a while, both had their eyes closed and their heads pressed together. She took in his scent, it calmed her and excited her all at the same time. She brought her hands up to cradle his face and slowly kissed his lips. Her face was still sensitive because of the shots to her nose but she needed his touch. He gentle brought his hand to her hair and kissed her as deeply as he could without hurting her.

He broke the kiss and cradled her face as he spoke "I'm broken too. I'll always be broken, but you are the only woman who has tried not to fix me. We accept that we are two broken people and that's why we work."

She broke away and looked into his eyes "Do you think we can do this without killing each other?" she asked, a teasing twinkle in her eyes.

"God, no!" he answered "Blood will be shed for sure, but think of all he make-up sex!"

The End –

a/n: I hope you all enjoyed this. I want to thank of all for reading this story. I don't usually have time to write but I have had some heavy stuff go down in my life recently and I found a way to escape through the world of fanfiction. I appreciate all of you that take time to read and write, I have enjoyed so many of your stories and I am trying to go back and review them to let you know I appreciate everyone's work. I hope to write more in the future because Jibbs makes me feel better! I am already thinking through a new Jibbs story (so far nothing on paper) but this will be a much lighter story. Stay tuned…

FYI: I am a huge fan of modern country music so that is where the titles of the chapters come from.