Name your dog, 'Dog'
Buttercup sometimes questioned why the hell she wasted her time on her fiancé Butch. She had been sitting in the living room of their shared tiny apartment. He had gone to poker night with his brothers. Blossom despised the thought as Brick had the worst poker face in history, which resulted in him always loosing money. It actually made her want to laugh. At least it brought his ego down a few pegs if nothing else.
"I still think you would look better in a white wedding dress." Bubbles told her.
Buttercup smiled at her sister. "No I'm pretty sure I want a black dress."
"Why!" the blonde complained. The two had been arguing back and forth on this matter ever since she told Bubbles she was the maid of honor (Blossom had the lovely title of Matron of honor) she swore she could run her wedding.
"Because of what is stands." Blossom explained.
"Exactly you're a virgin so you obviously are going to wear a white gown. I however..." Buttercup tired to think of a way to say this.
"Have been doing it with Butch every chance I get." Blossom added.
"Not every chance but yes."
Bubbles blew a strand out her face and glared at her sister. "Fine but can't we agree on a neutral color. Silver, Gray, Green."
"I like green." Butch's voice came through. He came in the living room with a grin. Buttercup got up with a smile but stopped when she saw what was in his arms. Her eye twitched.
"What the hell is that?" she demanded.
"Honey I'm sure you've seen a dog before."
She felt the eye twitch become more dangerous. Out of the corner of the non twitching eyes,she saw her sister's giggling. They thought it was completely adorable that they both had these eye twitch thing they did. While Butch used to do it when he was being a total psycho and sometimes when he saw something completely bloody. Buttercup only did it when he managed to completely piss her off. He knew she hated dogs. Especially considering after saving that stupid talking over and over and over and over-
"Babe are you thinking of that dog again?"
"No I'm thinking why the love of my life brought this adorable thing in here, knowing we barely have enough room for ourselves." she cried. Butch simply held the dog to her face as if saying. 'Look at this adorable little thing. How can we not keep him?' She bit her lip it was cute. It was a tiny little black terrier with the brightest green eyes. Hell it's eyes were greener than her own. She swore to good he did this on purpose because once she saw him she could not look away. Her eyes fell on everyone else begging for her to say yes. Even Blossom.
"Fine."
"Yeah!" Bubbles cheered standing up clapping as if she had gotten the dog instead of her. "So what are you going to name him or her? if it's a boy I think you should name him something tough like Brute or Blaze."
"I already have a name. Dog." Butch said.
"We know what it is already but what is the name?" Blossom asked.
"No his name is Dog."
The two puffs looked at Buttercup telling her to fix this. "Butch we are not naming the dog, 'Dog'. That is the most stupid idea I have ever heard in my life." She couldn't even begin to say how stupid it was.
"Why not people name their dogs dumb things all the time. Like 'Dude' or 'Barbie' or 'Glitzy'.
"Isn't Glitzy the pig of Honey Boo-Boo?" Blossom asked but was quickly hushed her.
"Those names didn't name their pet it's own species name!"
"They were un-original!" he stated.
"And you're name is! What the hell have you been smoking!"
"You want an original name? How about I name it Buttercup?" Two seconds later Butch found himself on the ground while Bubbles and Blossom held her back. She was going to kill him.
Lick all the filling out the Oreo cookies and put it back in the tray.
Buttercup remembered her sister telling her she would have cravings when she was pregnant. She just never thought she would have cravings would involve Mint crème Oreos. Before her husband tried to get her to eat them she would smack his hand away but now she was obsessed. It was like drugs but better. Dawg followed behind her happily wagging his tail.
"You want one too don't you?" she cooed. He barked and she ruffled his fur. She went in the cabinet and pulled out the Oreos with a grin. The only time you would ever see her smiling like a school girl. She pulled the tab back and quickly stuffed one in her mouth immediately she knew something was wrong. It was empty! She spit it out and took another cookie out and pulled the cookie apart. Nothing.
She was having a breakdown! Was it possible to have a mental breakdown over a cookie? Apparently you could because she was having one right now. Butch came up to his wife and kissed her on the check. Where the hell did he come from. "Where is my filling?" she asked.
"What?"
"My damn Oreos!" she cried.
She waved the package in his face and she saw him tense up. "Oh well you see..."
"I see alright. I see you ate all my damn Oreos. No scratch that you ate all the filling and put them back." Butch didn't even say a word. He just ran because no man would survive dealing with a pissed Buttercup.
Ask people what gender they are
"Butch this is my friend Mallory." she introduced. Mallory was a pretty girl with long black hair and blue eyes. She had a few piercings but that was to be expected from someone that was friends with Buttercup. Butch looked at his long time friend before eyeing the girl she had brought over.
"So what gender are you?"
"Why would you ask that!"
"Well she's a little flat. Just had to make sure."
Buttercup had been sent to detention for slapping Butch through the school wall.
Follow people behind and spray things they touch with Lysol
Many people didn't know this but Butch was a bit of a neat freak when it came to his stuff. He couldn't stand things being out of place it drove him crazy and it was during those times his eye twitch somehow ended coming up. Which is why he despised the thought of a house party. For reason number one it meant people touching his stuff with their dirt ridden hands! He doubted half of Buttercup's friends washed their hands, he knew for sure his friends didn't.
He despised living with his brothers but learned to deal. If it wasn't for his love for Buttercup they probably wouldn't have moved in together. Buttercup was talking to her friends and he noticed one slip in. Elmer Sglue. The kid who ate paste back when Buttercup was a child, let's face it a kid with a habit as disgusting as that must be crawling with germs.
Butch felt himself sweating as he put his hand on one of his statues. The germs! His eyes fell on a can of Lysol and a grin came on his face. Every thing Elmer touched something Butch responded by spraying after him. It soon turned from just spraying after Elmer to spraying everything to everyone touched. He might have lost his mind a bit. The can got ripped out his hands.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she hissed.
"All your friends and their germs and-"
"Stop being OCD for once and calm the hell down. You will not ruin this party for me."
"Ruin this party for you! I'm freaking out here!" he yelled taking the can back from her. Buttercup let out a sigh, meaning she was frustrated beyond measures. He saw Elmer come up to her and place a hand on her shoulder.
"Great party Buttercup." he said before walking away.
Butch than sprayed her with the can of Lysol. In response she took the can from him and slapped him with it. Butch however thought it was worth it because he had always been a neat freak about his stuff, especially Buttercup.
The game of the year was on and Butch was excited. They were having the super bowl party at their house as he got over his OCD after learning kids came with germs. His wife was in the kitchen still fuming he had gotten the living room. Apparently she had wanted to watch a show tonight. While Buttercup normally loved the super bowl none of her favorite teams got in so she saw it as a waste of time. 'It's like watching two losers fight for something they don't deserve.' she had said.
The wrestling match however was on. Butch didn't really like wrestling, everything was staged and their acting was corny as hell. In his mind not enough carnage. Not like boxing or MMA fighting. The girls were in the kitchen watching the match. Surprisingly all three sisters were big wrestling fans and were not afraid to admit it.
"Beat him!" the sound of Bubbles voice came loud and clear. He heard Boomer chuckle at his wife's antics and he couldn't blame him.
His son and daughter were cuddled up on his lap having fallen asleep after the half time had finished. His daughter just had to see Nicki Minaj perform or she would die.
The teams were tied with one minute in the game, all the Raven's had to do was run 100 yards and they would win. Every guy was on the edge of their seat watching intently. Then their was screams from the kitchen.
"What happened to the screen?" Bubbles yelled.
"I don't know!" Buttercup screamed.
"Do something he is about to win!"
He heard them jump out their seats and fly into the living room. He knew what was happening and he jumped out his seat. His kids fell off him and onto the floor. They hiked the ball and the quarterback threw it. Buttercup pushed him down and grabbed the remote. The running back caught the ball and began to run. He was inches away from the end zone..."And he has him in a choke hold!"
"NO"
"YES!" the girls cheered.
Butch turned to his wife who became fixed on the screen. So close...SO CLOSE! He felt his eye begin to twitch. "Buttercup what the hell were you thinking! I missed the touchdown." he yelled. She looked at him.
"Big deal. He got the touch down. No hush up he's about to tap out." she squealed. Butch's response...he blew up the T.V.
I know is random but it is 3 in the morning and I am hyped up on soda so yeah.