Disclaimer: To my ever lasting regret, I do not own Supernatural (otherwise it would come back before the freaking 15th of October!)

Past Sins

The drive away from Kearney, Missouri was silent. A recent case with a spectre had further disturbed their unity, and now neither Winchester was speaking to each other.

Dean, recently returned from a year in Purgatory, where Dick Roman had sucked him into when he had exploded in their battle the year before, was mad at Sam for all sorts of reasons. He had returned from Purgatory to find that Sam had not even looked for him, stopped hunting all together and had been living some cushy apple pie life with some vet woman he met, all while he had been fighting for his life in Purgatory. And as a result, under the influence of the spectre, it had all came out. In the final confrontation, Dean, filled with demonic rage, had basically blasted Sam for not looking for him, for not looking for Kevin, for his role in the Apocalypse, for being soulless and anything else he thought of in which he felt that Sam had failed him. And when Dean had tried to talk to Sam, to apologise, Sam had basically told him to save it, saying he knew Dean had meant every world.

Dean's hands tightened around the steering wheel of his beloved Impala. He'd been trying to apologise to the jerk, and Sam had claimed Dean had meant every word. He hadn't, not really. He didn't care what Sam said, the spectre had made him say it.

Who was he kidding, the spectre may have helped but Dean had said every single word, and he couldn't very well blame that on the spectre. He scowled out at the darkness. Yeah, he was angry at Sam. If their positions had been reversed, he would have stopped at nothing to try and find Sam, wherever he might have been. Yet Sam didn't even bother to look. On some level, he did get it. Sam, for the first time since he had dragged him from Stanford all those years ago, had been totally alone. No Bobby, no Ellen, no Rufus and above all no Dean. Cas was with Dean, Meg was captured and their other friends, Garth, Missouri, Marion and Jody, frankly didn't know enough to have helped Sam with what he needed. Sam had been completely abandoned, and without any leads, he had fallen apart. Dean knew his brother, even better than he knew himself. His baby brother, despite all his protestations that he was a big boy and all grown up, was just as dependent on Dean as Dean was on him. And with Dean gone and no other viable support, Sam had crumbled. He had removed himself from hunting and had followed one of Dean's orders: should anything happen to him, he should get the hell out and get a nice life.

The problem was Dean hadn't actually expected him to follow the damn order. Since when did Sam do what he told him? Usually it was a struggle to get Sam to do something he also knew to be right when Dean told him, the stubborn git.

So yeah, he was mad at Sam. He had every right to be. His brother, who he'd died for on numerous occasions, hadn't bothered to look for him, to look for his big brother, the only family he had left. He'd also abandoned all of their responsibilities all for some girl.

But as Dean chanced a glance at his brother out of the corner of his eye, he did feel kind of bad. Yeah he had every right to be mad at Sam for a lot of things. But blaming him for the soulless crap, that had been a low and also untrue blow, if anyone's fault, that was Cas'. And while he was incredibly loathe to admit, Sam also had reason to be mad at him. Grunting to himself, gnashing his teeth, Dean went back to the driving, his thoughts full of resentment.

But he couldn't get that last fight out of his head, the one just before they'd gotten into the car. Where Sam had told him to basically drop his crap, move on from it, or he would leave Dean. And if that happened, Dean knew Sam wouldn't come back. Dean sighed. He may be mad at Sam, really mad at him, but he didn't want him to leave. He knew from long experience that that sucked. And he really did want his brother with him. In fact, he hadn't been concerned about escaping Purgatory and getting home. He'd been concerned about getting back to Sam.

He would talk to him when they got the motel, when they had both hopefully calmed down a little. So, he continued with his driving silently as Sam, his head leaned against the window and not looking at his brother, also stewed in his own juices.

Sam was less than happy with his brother. Yeah, he admitted it. He hadn't looked for Dean. His brother had vanished, had gone completely from the world after their fight with Roman, and Sam would happily put his hand in the air and admit that he hadn't handled it well. He never did cope well when Dean was taken from him. Dean didn't do well either, but Sam always went completely off the deep end and he had this time too. Dean was completely gone from the world, and Sam had had no one. And without any clues, fearing his brother dead and falling to pieces, Sam had abandoned the job, stopped hunting and had followed Dean's orders, he had tried to live a normal life.

He had known it was a mistake. But as time went on, as he faced day after day without his big brother, Sam had been struggling to see the point in going on anymore. His brother was gone, and he had no idea of how to get him back. So he had simply given up. And it was then that he had found Amelia, just as he was about to pack it all in and hope that he found Dean in heaven. But she had resurrected him, she and Riot the dog, and had kept Sam from losing the last of his mind, the last of his sanity, and had kept him from getting better acquainted with his gun. And then, just as he had been getting used to his life with her, she had revealed that her husband was actually alive. The news had knocked him for six, if not for twelve. Amelia and Riot, the nice little apple pie life, it had become a refuge from his pain, from the persistent ache that reminded him his big brother wasn't there anymore. So, taking off, he had returned to Rufus' cabin to find Dean waiting for him.

And ever since then, rather than the happy reunion they had both desired, Dean had been kicking at Sam, and Sam, used to playing Dean's punching bag after all these years, had let him. Sam already felt bad. He had screwed up, again, let Dean down, again. He'd abandoned hunting and his brother, and the guilt, the endless nausea he felt at himself for abandoning Dean when he needed him most, threatened to overwhelm him day in and day out. Dean, furious and rightly hurt (Sam wasn't stupid, he knew he'd screwed up and knew his brother had every right to be pissed with him) had punished him endlessly, and this case had finally clinched it.

Dean didn't know anything. He didn't know that Sam had been lost, broken and confused without his brother. He hadn't known that Sam seriously had considered suicide, the only thing staying his hand was the thought that Dean might not actually be in heaven waiting for him. He also didn't know that it was Amelia and Riot who had basically kept him from going for a long drive off a short cliff. In fact, the night he had hit Riot, he'd had half a mind to do it, end it all, but his concern for the dog (he'd always had a soft spot for dogs) had kept him from doing it, and then, with the dog to look after, he had barely held on until Dean had returned to him.

And then Sam, frantic with worry about his jackass brother who had vanished to help 'a friend', had pursued him to lend him a hand to find out that his friend was secretly a bloody vampire. Dean had seen that Sam was pissed, and he had to believe that somewhere Dean knew why he was so angry.

He had to admit, part of it was jealousy. Benny had done what Sam hadn't, had helped Dean escape Purgatory, and that pissed him off. He'd failed Dean, and Benny hadn't, and unfair though it was, he resented Benny for it. But everything about the blasted bloodsucker just looked like an accident waiting to happen.

The year before, Dean had killed a kitsune by the name of Amy, the first girl Sam had ever kissed. Sam had promised to let her live, and had asked Dean to trust him and leave her alone. Dean hadn't, and had killed her, arguing that because Sam was emotionally close to her, his judgement was clouded. He argued that she was a monster and that she had killed people, and hence had to die. And to make matters worse, when he had finally found out about it, he had found out from a bloody Leviathan pretending to be Dean. Dean had gone behind his back, killed someone Sam cared about, and had spat on the so called trust he placed in his little brother. And now, a year later, here was Dean, trusting a vampire, a monster, and Sam wasn't allowed to be a little pissy that Dean lied to him about it, that he hadn't put him down like the monster he was (a lesson he preached). Once again his brother's delightful double standards had bit him in the ass. It was alright for Dean to trust a monster, and to let him live, but not for Sam to do it.

And then their most recent case had been a particular doozy. Dean had become possessed by a spectre, who had heightened all of Dean's resentments towards Sam and had allowed them all to come out. Sam knew he deserved some of them, like the Ruby thing. He admitted that, he'd made mistakes, mistakes that were huger than everyone else's, but he had made mistakes, who hadn't? But once again, after all that time Sam had spent naively believing his brother had forgiven him for his mistakes, Dean had thrown them all right back at him. Yeah he'd screwed up recently, not searching for him or helping Kevin, but Dean of course was only interested with what he could see, and that was that Sam had let him down again. But he'd thought that with everything they had gone through last year, with the Leviathans, Becky, the Gorgon and the Apocalypse remake, that they had finally moved on from all that. Sam scoffed slightly to himself. Why on earth he had thought that he had no idea. He had screwed up, and Dean would never let it go, not until his dying day, and even then he probably still wouldn't give it a rest. He scowled to himself as he glared at the passing traffic. And Dean had thrown things at him that weren't his fault, he hadn't been able to control the soulless stuff, yet Dean still held that against him too. Maybe he should just face facts, his brother was never going to fully trust him again, or let go of the past. Dean was never going to let it go, and would remind Sam of each and every time he had screwed up until they both died for good.

Sam grumped to himself bitterly. Even when he did everything Dean wanted, he still didn't make him happy. He thought, last year after Dean had nearly killed him in Dillimore, that they would be able to go back to what they once were, and that he and Dean would be proper brothers again. And there had been times when Sam had simply basked in the praise Dean had lavished on him (saving his life a couple of times in the process). But it looked like that was just a fluke, as Sam was back to screwing up and Dean was back to finding fault with everything Sam did. And he deserved some of it, he knew he did.

But so did Dean. Contrary to popular belief, the sun did not shine out of Dean's ass, and he had made just as many mistakes as he had. And what was more, with the less pleasant aspects of his personality, Dean came across as an unappeasable hypocrite with impossibly high standards that everyone struggled to meet but him. Sam had foolishly thought that that had ended with everything they had been through in the year before, but clearly that wasn't the case. Dean's ridiculously high standards had just been on hiatus, and had now come back full force.

But, Sam was only human, and while he knew he had deserved a lot of what Dean had thrown at him, even if he had foolishly thought his brother had finally forgiven him for half the stuff he had brought up, he couldn't deny that he had enjoyed putting Dean in his place. He was so sick of Dean's sanctimonious, judgemental, hypocritical attitude. Dean wasn't perfect, despite what he himself seemed to believe at times, and he did make mistakes, not that he ever admitted them. So, finally pushed too far by Dean thinking Sam always did wrong and he always did right, sick of Dean never trusting or forgiving Sam for things he'd done when Sam always forgave him, he'd finally had enough. He'd told Dean to drop his crap (just as Dean had, rather unfairly, to him the year before when Sam was still mad at him for killing Amy) or he would leave. And it had finally been enough to shock Dean into silence, and he had feebly agreed to drop his problems and admit his mistakes. Sam didn't think it would last long, but he had promised so he could live in hope that his brother would keep his promise.

Because despite how mad Sam would get at Dean, despite how much Dean might not want to, he usually tried to keep his promises to Sam.

And he really hoped Dean would stow his crap. He had been partly serious when he had given his brother his ultimatum: stop blaming me for everything crappy in your life, admit you've screwed up just as often, and move on, or I'll leave. But he also knew it was a bluff too.

In spite of everything, of how much he and Dean had been fighting since he had returned, he was still delighted his brother came back. Yeah his feelings were hidden beneath his irritation with his brother, but the day he'd seen his big brother standing in Rufus' cabin waiting for him was still one of the happiest of his life (at least until Dean started ragging on him). He had just got his brother back, he didn't want to lose him again, or leave him. He was glad his brother was back, but that didn't mean he couldn't be mad at him. And besides, if he left, they might never be brothers again, and he didn't want that to happen one bit.

He wanted his awesome big brother back.

But he wasn't going to let it go either.

"There's a town up ahead." He said softly, and Dean looked at him.

"Did you see a sign?" he asked curtly, his voice betraying nothing.

"No, I stayed here one night last year." Sam replied, and to his credit, Dean said nothing as he prepared to pull over.

Dean looked at his still angry little brother, and it occurred to him just how much he didn't want Sam to leave. He may be mad at him, but he still wanted his awesome little brother to stay with him. True he hadn't been an awesome little brother recently, but there were times Dean hadn't been a good brother to Sam either, and Sam had never given up on him. However he stayed quiet as he finally saw the sign and drove into the opening that would take them to the town.

XX

"You truly wish this?" he asked in his shaky croaky voice, and his customer, his dark eyes narrowed in intense anger, nodded coldly.

"I want revenge. Wouldn't you?" he asked, his voice high but strong, and the other man nodded, his clothes rustling the glass vials he carried about his person as he did so.

"Of course I would, if I was affected with such problems as sentimentality, but I am not. I will require payment, as what you wish is not easy to achieve. You are sure you wish this?" the older man asked once again, and the younger one of the two glared at him angrily.

"I want to get back at him, he ruined my life. I've got it on good authority that he's back, and now I'm going to make good on the promise I made to him. I'm going to kill him!" he vowed angrily, his voice high and screeching, his eyes going an eerie blue.

"As you will it. My payment?" he asked, and the younger occupant of the dusty old shop withdrew an item floating in a jar, and the old man smiled, chuckling in delight.

"Yes, fresh too! I've been running low. However, while it is a good payment, I'll need slightly more, after all, this is no easy task what you ask me to do remember." He chided and the younger man rolled his eyes irritably.

"Fine! Here, just give me what I want!" he snapped bitterly, and this time revealed a shining yellow liquid, making the other's eyes widen in shock.

"This is indeed rare. Have you ever considered a career in the procurement business?" he asked, storing the yellow liquid, though all he got was a glare from his customer.

"Of course not, I apologise. You might consider it though. Very well, we have a deal. Sign the contract." He said and the other scowled as he did so, and the older man clapped his hands.

"Excellent, now let's get to work!" he boomed, heading into the back of his dusty shop.

His customer was close at hand, eager to see the process and with a flick, the flame under his cauldron came to life. The proprietor smirked eagerly as he began the mixture, pouring crystalline water into the cauldron. He then threw in what looked like several shards of gold, and then small jewels of deepest jade. A plume of smoke emitted from the cauldron as the owner took a long thin silvery hair from another vial and threw it into the cauldron. He then seized his customer, slicing his hand with a knife and dropping three drops of blood into the pot. He then dusted in some silver powder, the concoction bubbling and roiling, a shining gold colour as it raged within its vessel. Several herbs were then thrown in, flaming figures dancing across the mixture as it took them in, smoke blasting into the air as he did so. A single pearl was then thrown into the pot, giving the mixture a shining, shimmering sheen as it bubbled and brewed. The owner, cackling madly, then threw a long bone into the pot, making it give off an acrid smell as the mixture became a deep blue colour. The owner then headed to his fridge and removed a fresh heart, which he then threw into the mixture, making it transform into a deep purple shade. Finally, he added a small vial of blood before finally spinning around in delight and pulling a human embryo from the shelf and dumping it into the pot. The potion then blasted into action, creating a mushroom cloud of silvery gas. The man then turned to his customer, and hacked down on his proffered finger. As his customer screamed in pain, he threw the finger into the cauldron, and it was all but done. He sliced his own hand, dropping several drops into the cauldron, and at long last it finally turned into its true mother of pearl colour, and with a final flourish, he added a sprig of chamomile and a slice of cucumber, both of which melted into nothing. And with that it was done.

Before him stood a cauldron of shimmering potion, a mother of pearl colour with a turquoise sheen over it and small silver swirls of steam rising from it. The owner, ignoring the feeble cries of his customer, then seized a clear vial and stuck his hand into the cauldron and filled the vial, removing it and turning to his pained but now eagerly smiling customer.

"It is done." The owner said gloatingly, and eagerly the younger man snatched it from him, and drained it in one gulp.

He then screamed in pain, dropping to the floor, writhing and retching as he struggled to control his pain. He seized his legs and his chest, his arms and shoulders as he thrashed around on the floor, screaming as he did so, gasping for air and relief, the blood from his stump of a finger staining his clothes and the floor. His mouth then opened wide, as if to relieve the pain and he gave a keen howl as he battled the pain, his partner looking on impassively as the process continued.

And after a few minutes, when the customer had all but shouted himself hoarse and cried himself out with pain, he finally came to a stop, the process done.

"It is complete. How do you feel?" the owner asked, passing his customer a handkerchief for his stump of a middle left finger.

"Excellent. You did it." He said eagerly, his voice now much deeper and the owner bowed.

"Then good hunting." He said as his customer turn and left the shop, vengeance in mind.

XX

Seraphim signed off on another death. Ever since the mess Raphael made with his attempts to engineer a new Apocalypse, the Perpurigo had been working none stop, which meant for the last year they had been doing nothing but trying to repair the damage done by both Raphael and the Leviathans. But now, after a long year they were finally closing in on their aim, to undo all the damage done by the cheap rerun and the remake of the Apocalypse that Raphael and the Leviathans had brought about. They had to hide the damage, undo history and never let anyone know that they had all but failed in their responsibilities, they had to hide from the mindless masses what had nearly happened. And that also meant hunting down everyone who was involved in anything but a passing capacity.

And now they were nearly done.

The door opened, revealing the beautiful oracle that the Perpurigo relied on, and Seraphim's heart sank, especially when she fell to her knees in remorse.

"Lord Seraphim, I have erred." She admitted in disgust, and Seraphim, one of the leaders of the entire sect, raised a chiselled eyebrow curiously.

"That isn't like you oracle, what have you done?" he asked, and she hissed between her teeth, feeling the gaze of her superior as he took in the scantily clad oracle.

"I failed to see something of great importance. Dean Winchester has returned to the world, and had once more reunited with his brother." She admitted, and Seraphim got to his feet, his armour clanking as the tall and upright angel looked down upon her, his eyes cold, hard and merciless.

"Fear not oracle, while your lateness is noted, it isn't catastrophic." Came a voice from the doorway, and Seraphim looked up to see his opposites, the leaders of the Reaper and Demon faction of the Perpurigo faction, entering the room.

Lexii, the leader of the Reapers, was clad in deep red and black robes, with two large scythes mounted on her back and having two small scythes akin to claws on either side of her middle finger. Her eyes were like ice, and her blonde hair was streaked with black, akin to her soul. Beside her was Ember, the leader of the Demon faction. Clad in a tight black jumpsuit, she also had an armoured waistcoat on, along with deadly high heeled boots. Her eyes were a sickly yellow colour, her lips and nails a deep blood red, her hair the same colour and styled into a star like bun and her eye shadow a shimmering lilac. And the last of the leaders, Seraphim himself, a tall and stout man clad in golden armour embossed with shining sapphires. His face was cold, hard and stern, his long hair blond in colour and flowing down his back. Together they led the Perpurigo, the group entrusted with the most sacred tasks, the tasks they had nearly failed several times before.

And they would not fail again.

"Catastrophic no, but a nuisance surely Ember?" Seraphim asked and the demon smiled sinisterly.

"Quite the opposite comrade. Now we can finish things, once and for all. Niandra, can you locate the Winchesters?" she asked and the girl nodded.

"I can my lady." She promised and Ember smiled, as Lexii smirked in cold anticipation.

"Excellent. We can finally finish clearing up the mess. General Delphus!" she boomed, and a second later, the leader of their military, Delphus, arrived.

The deadly leader of their army, he was clad in brown robes and further protected by silver armour, etched with deep red markings. A big and strong looking man, two blood stained axes hung from his belt. His bald head was pale, and his eyes had long since been scooped out, leaving only a blood stain behind.

"My lords." He said respectfully, bowing.

"General, the Winchesters have returned. As soon as Niandra has them, send someone to dispose of them." Ember ordered and he bowed graciously, brimming with anticipation.

"As you desire my lady." He replied and Seraphim smiled.

It was finally time to end this.

And the end would begin with the Winchesters.

XX

The small town of Cameron was where the boys had stopped for the night. Upon arriving, without a word Dean had shut off the car, picked up his bag and had entered the motel without a backward glance. Sam, glaring at his idiot brother's back, followed a second later, slamming the door of the car to get at Dean.

The owner waved them through to their room, and Dean entered the room, throwing his bag down on the bed closest to the door. Sam threw his down on the bed next to his, neither of them saying a word as Sam went into the toilet. And as soon as the door shut, Dean sagged down to the bed.

They had to talk, otherwise they would wind up killing each other or worse. And quite frankly, he had killed Sam enough for one lifetime. So when Sam came out of the toilet, he looked up at Sam.

"Sam..." he began hesitantly, and Sam stiffened, not looking at his brother.

"What?" he asked sullenly, and Dean sighed in exhaustion, he forgot how tiring being mad at each other could be when he was in Purgatory.

"Look, the spectre..."

Sam rolled his eyes.

"Dean, don't start. It's the same thing as the siren was originally, we both meant everything we said then, you meant everything you said now. Just because you feel guilty doesn't make it any less true." He said grimly and Dean scowled.

"Look jackass, I'm trying to apologise." He said, and Sam looked at him sceptically.

"Really? Maybe I should accept it then just bring it all back up again later. After all that's what you do isn't it?" he asked cattily, and Dean had to admit, that was a pretty good shot, and a good point.

"Sam, will you just listen to me?" he demanded and Sam glared at his older brother.

"Why? You never listen to me when I apologise." He grumbled and Dean swore in exasperation.

"I do listen to you, why would you think I don't?" he asked irritably and Sam raised an eyebrow.

"You're really asking me that? I can apologise until I'm blue in the face, I can die to try and convince you how sorry I am, but it's still not a good enough apology for you. I'm surprised you're not still mad at me for that time I broke your Captain Pugwash toy." He shot back and Dean's eyes widened in realisation.

"So it was you!" he exclaimed, and Sam blushed a little, and Dean could see a slight smile tug at his brother's lips, it wasn't much but it was a start.

"Yeah, sorry." He said sheepishly, and Dean glared.

"I knew it was you, you told me Bobby broke it when he sat on it." He said ruefully, the beginnings of a smile on his own face and Sam shrugged.

"I didn't want you to be mad at me." He said without thinking, then realised what he had said and turned away from Dean.

"Sam..." Dean said in amused, patient exasperation.

"Look Dean..."

"No. I know you think I meant all of that. And, I think I kind of did. But that still doesn't excuse everything I said. Spectre or no spectre, you might have screwed up a lot, but you didn't deserve that. And the soulless thing, that was low. We both know it was Cas who did that, not you. So, I'm sorry ok? And I know you don't think I mean it, that I meant everything I said to you, but if I was in my right mind, I would never thrown the soulless thing at you. So I'm sorry ok?" he asked softly and he looked hopefully at Sam to see if he was listening.

Sam sighed wearily.

"Dean..."

"Look Sam, I'm just trying to apologise alright?" he asked in frustration and Sam glared at him.

"Hey! I know you're trying to apologise ok? But it doesn't change anything, you'll just be waiting for the next time I screw up then you can bring it all back up again." He sneered and Dean looked at him, put out.

"Is that how you think we work?" he demanded, and Sam looked at him with a disbelieving expression on his face.

"How can I think anything else? It's like last year all over again, I finally think you've finally forgiven me for all my cock ups and then you throw it all back at me and show me you're still as mad now as you were when I originally did it! You're still pissed I left for Stanford, you're still pissed about Ruby and you're still pissed about the Apocalypse. Well this may be news to you Dean, but you've screwed up too, but I never throw it all back at you. You want me to admit I did wrong? Yeah I did plenty wrong. And I should have looked for you and I didn't. But you did wrong too. Yet I don't make you feel like the lowest scum on earth every time you do something wrong." He pointed out, and Dean glared at him.

"Maybe I just don't like the fact that my little brother continually screws me over. You wondered why I didn't tell you about Benny?" he asked angrily, getting to his feet and Sam crossed his arms, glaring at him.

"Yeah. Because you knew full well I'd kill him. After all he's a monster, and monster's need to be killed don't they?" he asked savagely, and Dean rolled his eyes in frustration.

"This is an entirely different situation!" he yelled and Sam scoffed derisively.

"Hardly, it's the same situation. Winchester brother finds pet monster. Other Winchester doesn't trust them and wants them dead. Original Winchester ignores his brother and said monster gets to stick around. Then, as always, said monster bites both Winchesters in the ass! We learnt that the hard way Dean! Ruby, Meg, Cas, even Bobby, every time we befriend a monster it kicks us in the balls, and I'm fed up of it. And Benny will betray you, and it'll be up to me to fix it." Sam growled, and Dean looked at him, grinning savagely.

"Well he can't do any worse than you've done to me all these years." He said brutally, and then at the look on his brother's face, he knew he'd gone too far.

Sam was looking at him, his eyes narrowed in disgust, but Dean could see the hurt in the vulnerable part of his brother, the part that was, in an ideal situation, aimed at his brother in a pleading puppy dog look that would melt all of Dean's resistance. Basically the part that was a direct line to his love for his big brother, and it was now that part that was shimmering in hurt as he glared at him.

"You know what, Saint Dean? You've screwed up too." He snarled, putting his gun in his jeans and picking up his wallet, and though Dean knew he'd hurt Sam he was too riled to try and fix the damage.

"Oh yeah? When did I start an Apocalypse?" he snapped and Sam shoved past him, reaching the door in three strides, his face red with anger.

"When you went to hell. Maybe if you'd let me die, it would never have happened, I would never have let you down so many times and you'd be a lot happier." He snarled viciously and Dean recoiled, he really had hurt Sam if he was bringing that up, the long standing guilt and belief that both Dean and their father might have had better lives if not for him.

"Sam..."

"And to name a few others, try Dillimore, where your boozing made you nearly beat me to death. When you hooked up with a freaking gorgon and got your judgemental, hypocritical ass turned to stone. When we were fighting Raphael and all the others, when you killed me, then went all Rambo and nearly got everyone else killed because you couldn't cope with it. When you trusted Gordon and he nearly killed me several times, not including when he was set loose from Purgatory. When you killed Amy behind my back. When you made your lousy deal that sent the entire world straight to hell in the first place. But no, surely they must all be my mistakes somehow, after all, you never make mistakes do you?" Sam spat, and Dean was beginning to feel really bad as he reeled under the emotional barrage his brother dealt him, while his brother wrenched open the door.

"Sam, wait..." he begged, wanting to try and fix this before it got any worse, but he had resigned himself now, Sam was too angry to listen to him.

Sam glowered at him hatefully.

"No, I don't think I will. But how's this? If I go missing tonight, you can leave me wherever I am. Then we'll be even. That's what you want isn't it?" he asked mockingly and stormed out, slamming the door shut behind him and leaving his sickened brother staring at the door in shame.

XX

Sam paid for his third beer of the night, the ambient noise of the bar letting him block out everything. Yeah, Dean had reason to be pissed off. Yeah, he had let him down again. But despite everything they had been through together Dean was still the same judgemental, hypocritical pain in the backside he had always been, and Sam had been stupid to think any different. He didn't even know why he bothered trying to get Dean to trust him again, clearly nothing he ever did, like sending both Lucifer and Michael into the cage, helping Dean save Lisa and Ben, fighting every monster from Eve to Leviathans and not killing that blasted pet vampire of his was ever enough to make Dean truly forgive him and move on from all the mistakes he had made. He was clearly just wasting his time.

"You want to slow down there champ?" the owner asked and Sam glared.

"Not really." He grunted and the man shrugged and went back to his business.

"This is a change. I remember a time when I was the one who would be drowning their sorrows and you were the one who would be back at the motel worrying." A most unwelcome voice said and Sam didn't even bother to turn around.

"Just go away Dean, I'll come back when I'm good and ready." He bit out and Dean sighed.

"Sam look..."

"Forget it Dean. I give up. I make mistakes, I apologise I try to atone, and yet you never give me a break. You make a mistake, I try and hold it against you and I'm told to drop it and move on. I'm sorry for all the stuff I've done ok? I feel awful about it, all of it, yet you don't seem to think that I do so every chance you get you remind me of what a big screw up I am. Do you think I cared about the Apocalypse when I went into the cage? I went in there to try and show you and Bobby and Cas how sorry I was, to clean up the mess I made because I was so arrogant and bloodthirsty, and it's still not good enough for you. I don't know what to do anymore. And I'm the only one, Cas basically did everything I ever did, he almost killed me, and you didn't hold it against him. No, Saint Cas and Saint Dean are in it together, they're perfect and never make mistakes, but Sam, no, he's evil, he always lets his big brother down, he always screws up so let's just keep reminding him how worthless he is." Sam recited and Dean glared.

"Alright, you've had enough to drink, let's go." He said, taking Sam's wrist but his brother shook him off and now he turned to face his brother he saw that he wasn't even tipsy yet.

"No, I've not Dean. I might not be you but I can still hold my drink pretty well nowadays. I got good practice when I was drinking myself into a stupor every night to try and take my mind off the fact that I'd lost my brother again." Sam snarled and turned back to the bar, ignoring the questioning looks he was beginning to get from the patrons.

Dean sagged in exhaustion. He was mad at Sam. He had a right to be. He also knew Sam had a right to be at Dean. And once again he was being a pain in the ass hypocritical bastard with impossibly high standards that no one could meet.

"Sam, will you just listen to me?" Dean asked angrily, his frustrations getting the better of him.

"I'm still sitting here, if I'm listening, well I'll see. Seems to be like how we work." Sam said coldly, slugging his beer, and Dean clenched his fist in irritation.

"Sam, that isn't how we work at all. Yeah, you've made a lot of mistakes, but so have I." /He said and Sam glared at him.

"Really? Can I get that in writing? Because it seems like you think only I screw up. Face it Dean, there are three examples of perfection, you, Cas and dad, and I don't hold to any of those standards so I'm automatically a failure." Sam ground out, and Dean forced down the rising wave of anger.

"I don't think dad is perfect. Or Cas. They made mistakes too Sam." He said in a voice of forced calm and Sam scoffed derisively.

"Yeah but they don't suffer for it. Even before he died you knew how much dad had ballsed everything up over his life but no, he was still your perfect father and you were still daddy's little soldier. And no, we can't call Cas on all the crap he's done, we can't upset Cas' delicate feelings."

Dean growled in vexation.

"Sam, it isn't like that at all and you know it!"

"Please." Sam sneered in derision and Dean had finally had enough.

"Alright fine. Sit here and stew, I don't care. I'm fed up of trying to talk to you."

"The feelings mutual."

Dean turned and headed for the door, but Sam's cold bitter voice held him back.

"You know Dean, if Benny is such a great brother, a better brother than I ever was, who never lets you down, why not go and hook up with him huh? Has to be better than having me stick around doesn't it? After all, I'm always the one who lets you down. You have every right to be mad. But I can be mad at you too because even after everything we've been through, you still can't let things go, you still can't trust me." Sam said simply and Dean glared at his brother's back.

"Trust is earned Sam." He snapped back and Sam shrugged.

"Yeah and I deserve what I get for leaving you. But for everything else, I don't know I reckon we might have moved past that by now. Obviously not. So why don't you just hook up with your new brother? You said yourself, he's better than the one you've got." He said emotionlessly, and Dean felt that as a gut punch, but he refused to turn back to Sam.

"Yeah, he is." Dean growled and stormed out of the bar, leaving Sam drinking his beer amid the stares of the patrons.

XX

Dean was fuming as he headed back to the motel. He knew his actions since he had returned from Purgatory hadn't helped the situation. He had treated Sam like crap. True he had deserved it, after all he hadn't even looked for him and what was more he'd abandoned Kevin to his own devices, but somewhere among all that he had gone too far, and the case with the spectre, when Dean had basically lined up everything Sam had ever done wrong and threw them all back at him, even though he had more than atoned for most of them, that had just been the icing on the cake. He didn't know, maybe he still resented Sam for everything he had done wrong over the years. He certainly resented him for abandoning him in Purgatory. He resented him for hating Benny. He resented him for thinking that Dean thought he was perfect, that he never made mistakes, and that he and Cas were subject to one rule while Sam was subject to another.

Maybe he wasn't right to resent him for that. After their misadventure stopping the new Apocalypse the year before, Sam had finally lost all patience with his brother and had told him what he truly thought. Sam thought Dean was an arrogant, judgemental, two faced, hypocritical jackass, and at times, Dean had to admit, they were fair accusations to make. Sam had always suffered most. If he screwed up Dean never did let him forget it, even now, all these years later, he was still throwing all of Sam's past mistakes at him whether he meant to or not. No wonder Sam couldn't stand him at times, he was like a Rottweiler but with none of the redeeming character features.

Dean kicked angrily at a can that was lying on the road. He knew Sam was angry, and upset by some of the things he had said. He also knew that Sam knew he deserved a lot of what he was getting thrown at him. But still, he couldn't help but feel slightly bad. Yeah he could be mad at Sam. Sam could also be mad at him. Dean had said some things, while on the case and even since they had come here, that Sam didn't deserve at all. Benny may have acted more like a brother to him than Sam had recently, but who was Dean kidding? However fond they were of each other, Benny had originally hooked up with Dean as a means to his own escape.

Dean scowled. He hated fighting with Sam. He was afraid that one day, they would have one fight too many, they would both go too far, and Sam would walk away and never turn back. He feared Sam leaving him as much as he feared Purgatory, or Hell. He didn't want it to happen. Because while he may treat Sam like dirt at times (sometimes he did deserve it, true, but most of the time it was just him being a jerk and he knew it), he truly loved his little brother.

Sam's final comment, about Benny being a better brother than he was, he thought that was what was truly getting to Sam. Sam knew he wasn't a good brother, knew he had let Dean down many times. But he didn't need Dean rubbing his nose in it. He also didn't need Dean telling him that he basically preferred a vampire over him. Dean sighed. So much for over four years of growth and development, it was basically the Ruby and Cas situation all over again. Yeah, it pissed Sam off that Dean still didn't trust him and still hadn't let everything but his most recent failure too, and he could see where he was coming from with that. In his shoes, Dean would be angry too. But the thing that had truly hurt his brother was the fact that Dean had basically implied that he was to blame for everything wrong in his life, and what was more, that a murderous vampire was a better brother than he was. Dean didn't blame everything wrong in his life on Sam, even though it seemed like he did. When in the drunken rage that had almost killed Sam the year previously, under the influence of alcohol, Dean had basically blamed Sam for everything and he remembered entering the hospital, seeing his beat up and barely alive brother sitting there miserably because he was the one who made his brother what he was. He had never meant to make Sam think that then, and he hadn't wanted to now. The problem was they were at loggerheads so much recently, ever since he got back, that all they seemed to do was fight with each other. A lot.

And what he'd said about Benny, he supposed it was akin to when Sam had told him that he had wanted to get away from him. Dean had not taken that news well, and now he had just told Sam that a vampire made a better brother than he was. Yeah, maybe Dean was just as much as a crappy brother to Sam as he had been to Dean of late.

Dean came to a stop. He knew Sam didn't want to talk to him, but the protective part of him (which was currently also working in partnership with his guilty part) wanted to go back and fetch Sam. They needed to talk things out, fix things as much as they were able, or otherwise they truly would lose each other, and he couldn't deal with that. He needed to make things up with Sam. Because no matter how much they fought, he loved his brother. And the thought of Sam leaving him scared the crap out of him. He'd just found his brother again after his vacation in Purgatory. He didn't want to lose him.

Sighing, Dean resolved. He had to try and fix this. Sam had messed up, yeah. But he was his brother, his little brother and unless he did something soon, he risked losing Sam for good. He was damned if he was giving up on them now, after all this time, just because Dean couldn't manage to forgive Sam for every little thing he had done wrong when Sam always forgave Dean anything. Maybe it was time both of them started acting like brothers again.

He was just about to head back to the bar when he was suddenly kicked in the back, sent crashing to the ground. Dean grunted in pain and surprise as he landed, and then he felt a long and thin implement rip open his jacket collar and puncture the back of his neck. Crying out in pain, Dean grabbed his gun from his waist and rolled over, kicking upwards as he did so. His attacker stumbled away from him and Dean quickly brought his gun to bear and opened fire. His attacker let out an animalistic hiss as the bullets banged through the air, his attacker taking to the streets and vanishing into the darkness. Dean gasped in surprised exhaustion, relieved that he had forced his attacker off. What the hell was that? A demonic drive by?

Cursing his attacked, he got to his feet, wincing at the pain in the back of his neck and when he dabbed his hand, he found a significant amount of blood. Cursing and fighting the urge not to vomit, Dean headed back for the motel, figuring Sam could wait a while while he fixed himself up.

And found what the hell had attacked him.

XX

Sam scuffed his feet on his way back to the motel. He really didn't want to talk to Dean when he got in, he just wanted to go in and go to bed. He was so fed up of fighting with Dean. He wanted to be his brother again, he wanted them to be brothers again. But as far as he was concerned there was no chance of that. He had let Dean down too many times, and it was clear that Dean would never forgive him. And the fact that Sam hadn't looked for Dean, despite his reasons, which Dean of course had no interest in, that had been the final nail in the coffin. Sam kicked at an empty bottle miserably. Maybe Dean would be better off with Benny. After all, his precious Benny hadn't let him down whereas Sam had.

Yeah he was jealous. He was entitled to be. It had been the same when Cas had first appeared. Sam, for whatever reason, was forced out of the picture for a new player. Only this time the new player was a sodding vampire and yet he was still a better brother than Sam was. Maybe he should just leave Dean, just take a bus. Once before Dean had said they ought to pick a hemisphere and stick to it. Maybe they should consider that again, after all, it was quite obvious to him that he only ever brought Dean disappointment, failure and misery.

He knew he deserved to feel like this. Didn't make it any easier though. So, he would give Dean a final apology, and then he would go away. He wouldn't be able to mess up Dean's life anymore and then Dean could stay with his new 'brother' Benny, free of Sam making his life a misery.

He hated feeling like this, but he was really past caring, he just wanted Dean to go back to the person he once was. The person he was before his disappointment of a little brother had flushed his life down the toilet. Maybe Benny would make a better job of it.

He entered the motel room, and his head, currently filled with serious considerations of leaving Dean and allow him a chance at a better life without Sam and with his new 'brother', were immediately forced from his mind as he saw his brother, sitting on his bed, attempting to stem the flow of blood from a gouge out of his neck.

"What happened?" Sam asked in concern, heading to his brother's side naturally, and Dean scowled.

"I'm fine." He replied curtly, and Sam rolled his eyes before kneeling on the bed behind his brother.

"I didn't ask if you were fine, I asked what happened." He said, inspecting the wound critically.

"I was ambushed by someone with freaking long nails if you must know." Dean grumbled, trying to staunch the blood awkwardly.

Sam grinned slightly as he saw his brother struggle. He was only human after all. But he moved forward a little bit on his knees and then tried to take the cloth Dean was using from his brother. Dean, being Dean, immediately jerked it away.

"I don't need help Sam." He said sternly, and Sam gritted his teeth.

"No but you do need an attitude adjustment." He bit out quietly, but Dean didn't hear him.

Then, ignoring his brother (after all, Dean did it enough to him), he snatched the cloth from his brother's hand and began cleaning the wound up himself.

"I said I was fine and that I didn't need help." Dean snarled, and Sam, vindictively, poked him harder than was necessary with the cloth, making Dean hiss slightly in pain.

"And I always say I'm sorry but I get ignored so why should you?" he replied and Dean wisely went quiet as his little brother, there as always, looked after him and patched him up.

Dean looked miserably at the wall. He had been unfair, he knew that. Spectre or not he had been unfair. And there was one thing he couldn't overlook, that no matter what, no matter how long it took him, what crazy things he did in the process and how much Dean threw at him, Sam always came back.

Just like he had now, as he was sanitising the wound on his neck silently and efficiently.

Sam cleaned the last of the blood off and started looking for a plaster that he could put over the hole in his brother's neck. Dean wasn't struggling against him, he wasn't saying anything, he was just sitting there letting Sam fix him up as usual (well not quite as usual, he wasn't protesting or moaning enough but still). And so, with his brother relatively calm and looking the other way, and unable to react violently, Sam made the first move.

"I'm sorry. Again." He said, his voice sad, and Dean smiled slightly as he heard the small voice behind him.

"I know you are Sam." He said, and he felt as Sam poked at it gently (though perhaps not as gently as he usually would) to see if it needed stitches.

"Look, if you want, I'll go. That way I can't mess up again." He said softly, and Dean felt his heart stop in terror.

Sam was actually offering to leave, if that was what Dean wanted. He was willing to leave his brother and go off, just so he didn't let his brother down anymore. Dean closed his eyes in dismay at hearing the sad offer his brother made from behind him.

"Sam I don't want you to leave." He said in patient exasperation and Sam, apparently deciding no stitches were needed, applied cream to the wound to prevent infection.

"Don't you?" he asked, wiping off the excess.

Dean grinned slightly, shaking his head.

"Of course I don't dumbass. I don't want you to go anywhere. What I said, about Benny and you..."

"Don't." Sam said, his voice more forceful and Dean could feel the heightened tension at the mention of Benny.

"What I said, spectre or not, I really didn't mean that Sam. You have to believe me. Yeah, you've made a few mistakes. And despite what you think, I know I have too. But despite everything, all we've been through, you are still my little brother and you always will be. You're my brother, not Benny. And while we're at it, let's be fair, there's been times I've been a lousy brother to you, but you've never thrown it back at me like I did with you. Just stay Sam ok? Because if you go, I'm just going to have to come and drag you back." He said, his voice kind, and he could practically hear the small grin on Sam's face.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Because however much we piss each other off, we need each other. I'm not saying we're good. But I am saying I don't want you to leave. I need you Sam. I always did. So just, stick around ok? I don't want to lose you, I only just found you again." Dean said, glad he wasn't actually looking at Sam or else this would be a full fledged chick flick moment.

"Ok." Sam said simply, finishing tending Dean's wound.

"Any ideas?" Dean asked, turning to face his brother, and Sam was frowning thoughtfully as he sat down on the bed normally.

"None, it could be anything, a fang, a claw, a talon. You didn't get a good view of the guy?" he asked, and Dean shook his head.

"No, he ran off after I shot at him, and it was dark I couldn't make anything out about him. We can check in the morning, see if anything springs to mind ok. And Sam?" Dean asked sternly as Sam got to his feet, and his little brother turned to look at him questioningly.

"What?" he asked, but the tone of hostility that had been present earlier in the evening was mostly gone.

Dean's eyes bored into his brothers.

"I mean it, we aren't sorted yet. We need to sort things out, and we will, otherwise we're no good to anyone and we'll just wind up killing each other. We've both said and done things, a lot over the years, that have made it a miracle we've even stayed alive, never mind together, this long. But, even though we still have crap to work through," he said, deciding to quickly cover himself before the glare Sam was giving him got any more dangerous, "me more than you, I know, what I'm basically saying is I need you. Not Benny, you. My actual brother. So I'm warning you, if you're not here tomorrow morning, you and me, issues. Got it?" he asked and Sam nodded, and while he did look slightly less angry than he had, he could tell there was still anger there.

Just as Sam could tell there was still a lot of anger in Dean.

"Got it. Night." Sam said, stripping off and getting into bed.

"Night." Dean said, following suit.

But, an hour later, in the darkness, the lack of the usual sounds made it more than obvious that neither brother was asleep, both of their minds awake, mulling over everything they had said to each other.

XX

Outside, Dean's attacker hissed in annoyance. He had underestimated Dean. If he wanted him dead, he was going to have to be a lot cleverer than he had been, otherwise all he was going to be was dead. So, watching the motel where the Winchesters were, he shot their room a last look of loathing before vanishing into the shadows to plan his next move.

XX

Niandra's eyes opened as she finally achieved her goal. Afteer many hours of Seeing, she had finally located the Winchesters. And now, it was time to begin the final stage of house cleaning. The Perpurigo would finish their mission, and everything would return to normal.

The end began here.

She picked up the glass of water she used to assist in her forays into the future, and with a gesture the water in the glass assumed the shape of General Delphus.

"General, I have them. They are in Cameron, Missouri, at the Leafy Hollow Motel." She said, and Delphus grinned in delight, clicking his fingers.

And then a man, dressed all in black, his head bald and covered by a cowl, appeared in the glass as well. And as he raised his head to look at Niandra, she winced as she always did as she beheld the face of the rank and file of the Ancilla.

For, like his general, he had no eyes, and instead they had been welded shut so that his eyes were permanently closed. But the deformity didn't end there. On his closed eyes were bloody scars, forming the point of a pyramid and stretching back to form their face making it like anyone who looked them in the eye was seeing a cross with an enlarged centre.

"Find the Winchesters. And when you do, kill them." Delphus ordered and the Ancilla bowed before vanishing into the obscurity of the glass.

It had begun.

And I'm back!

Here we are once again, kicking off a brand new story arc this time based on season eight, which is clearly the best season we've had in years. So we have old threats and new, and of course this is a sequel to my season seven based stories from last year, so everything from Demon Drink all the way to Bleeding Storm, and also including Torn Apart all have a significance in this new series.

So, as you can see this story is clearly set after 8.06 Southern Comfort (I was so glad when Sam put Dean in his place, he's such an ass at times its about time Sam gave him what for) and even though there was some reconciliation here, the boys clearly still have many issues to deal with and this story has only just begun, so what else awaits the boys? Who attacked Dean? And what was with the Dr Facilier scene halfway through the story? And who and what are the Perpurigo?

All will be revealed over the course of this new arc which will be eight stories long!

We've got a heavy angst chapter this time round, just to get back into the swing of things, but now that that's done, things start to take off once again. So, to all readers, please read and of course review, remember, nothing gives me a boost like waking up to lots of reviews! (And I'll need them in the morning, I have to get up at some ungodly hour to get to uni for graduation) So until next time, please read and review!