Things Aren't Always What They Seem

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"Dean."

"Yeah?" I answered warily; the familiar hesitant tones of my brother's sharing and caring voice warning me that I was about to be bombarded by a chick-flick moment but such was the nature of Sam Winchester; my brother had the unfortunate tendency to erupt at regular intervals like some emotional volcano.

It was one of the things I loved about my emo little brother but which I would never admit to even under torture; then again I didn't have to because he knew, just as I knew the depth of his feeling for me.

I braced myself.

X

He cleared his throat, a sure sign of a big reveal but I didn't move a muscle, continuing to concentrate my gaze on the antediluvian film I had been watching on the TV.

X

"Remember when I came to Rufus' cabin after you got out of Purgatory?" he began.

Yeah, I remembered all right. I remember when the door was pushed open and I jumped the intruder, immediately realizing by the scent and feel of him that it was none other than my Sam; that after a year in the slaughter-house that was Purgatory, I was holding on to my geeky little brother again.

I had felt the warm rush of happiness rolling over me. The only person that I had ever truly loved was right there with me.

I had pulled him up and drunk in his gigantor form, staging the 'testing for shape-shifter and monster' routine to give myself a moment to calm my ragged emotions at seeing him I had pulled him into my arms, his enthusiasm to do the same almost bowling me over; his overlong girly hair tickling my nose as he buried himself in the nook of my left shoulder where he had always laid his head.

How strange was it that the greatest joys in my life were when I embraced Sam, especially after thinking I had lost him forever?

I'm sure there's some deep psychological lesson to be learned there, for example that one should cultivate other interests, or being so tangled up in such a crazy way with your brother isn't healthy, but I couldn't give a rat's ass. Our lives hadn't exactly been normal and then being chosen as the true vessels of an angel and the devil since the beginning of Creation, sort of united us even more, for I doubt that anyone else could ever have understood or even believed our mad lives.

X

"Yeah,Sammy, I remember, " I said.

X

"You asked me if I looked for you after you disappeared in Dick's laboratory, Dean, and I said I hadn't. Well I lied."

My heart gave a leap.

When he had told me that his world had imploded and he had roamed aimlessly in the Impala for months without even trying to find me, I had been hurt, I admit, to think that Sam would be so out of it that he couldn't have summoned up the strength to try and find out where I had gone, but as with everything else that had happened between me and Sam, nothing could truly separate us however bad it might have been. And so like any tempest it just blew itself out.

Now Sam was telling me it wasn't true. I waited in anticipation to hear what he had to say.

x

"I torched the lab and ran to the Impala. I suspected that you had been dragged to Purgatory along with Dick and my mind was searching for a way I could confirm it and then get you out. I got confirmation all right," Sam huffed.

"I went from the lab directly to the Campbell library. There was tons of stuff there I hadn't leafed through yet and surely there must be something that could give me a clue to getting you out, but I had just entered the building when Crowley and his goons turned up.

He threatened me, saying that if I tried to get you out of Purgatory, he would have you killed.

He told me you would have 'a great time' there, chopping off heads and that he would see to it that you would get a side-kick to show you the ropes and keep you alive.

I asked him what the hell he was playing at and he said he needed some time to work on a little plan of his and he didn't want the Winchesters around to screw things up; and if I ever wanted to see you again, I had to get the hell out of his ass and lose myself somewhere.

I told him there was no way that I wasn't going to try and get you out or ...even come into purgatory and look for you myself, but he countered that he had contacts there that would kill you instantly before I could get to you.

Then he offered me a deal; said that he had a soft spot for us; that he could have killed us off anytime but he had let us live, so if I stayed nice and quiet for one year, he would make sure you were sent back to Earth safe and sound.

If I didn't obey, he would go through with his threat of killing you.

Just to prove it to me he used a blood filled chalice to show me an image of you standing in a dark hollow with eerie yellow eyes staring at you from the surrounding bushes. You looked so scared and lonely standing there and I was terrified for you, so I agreed. He even gave me a contract to seal the deal.

I don't know the true reason he suddenly turned up in the library and made that deal with me; and I don't believe it was because he had a soft spot for us, but he respected it, and you're here, " he finished off breathlessly.

X

I stood up, threw the remote down on the cheap couch and came to face him.

"Why didn't you tell me at the cabin?" I asked confused. "Why did you let me think you hadn't looked for me?"

Sam hung his head. "I don't know... I was scared that you would be mad at me for trusting Crowley enough to make a deal with him after all that's happened with our 'deals' in the past, so I though it was better just to say I had been too broken and upset to look for you"

Sam lifted his head and met my eyes. "You were back; that was all that mattered."

X

I turned away. Sam knew how I felt about making deals with demons and a burst of anger bubbled up in my gut but it didn't last more than a few seconds.

Who was I to talk? I had sold my soul for Sam and I would do it again in a minute even although I had preached to him about never making deals again.

I was out of Purgatory, back with Sam which was the only place I wanted to be, so I wasn't going to complain.

Crowley must have had some reason for what he did and before long it would probably come to light.

X

I turned back to my brother who was standing there as if waiting for the executioner's axe.

"Sam, I should tear you a new one for having anything to do with Crowley but I might have done the same had it been you in Purgatory, so little brother I'm not gonna say anything other than I'm glad you finally told me, 'cos thinking you didn't look for me sort of left me a little bit... rough, man," I blurted out tiredly.

"God, Dean. I'm sorry you felt bad but the longer I left the lie the harder it was to tell you the truth, but I couldn't hold it in any more. I had to come clean, " Sam said, his pleading puppy eyes targeting me like two headlights, asking me to forgive him.

Well I had never been able to resist their power in the past and I wasn't going to withstand them this time either.

"Aw, Sammy," I whispered pulling him to me and holding on tightly as he pillowed his head on my shoulder with a relieved sigh.

We were together, The journey wasn't important, only the arrival was and as long as we had each other to reach out to, nothing else mattered.

X

The enD