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Prompt #18: Tongue - Sometimes he tripped over the gorram thing at the most idiotic times.

Words: 773

For all his great intelligence and his fancy schooling, Simon Tam could be such an idiot.

Kaylee fumed as she fine-tuned Serenity's cycling engine. She had retreated to the engine room after one of his slights, and boy oh boy, had it been a whopper. So bad, in fact, that she had worried (for a moment) that some of the crew might actually space Simon if they knew what he'd done.

But in all fairness, how could the gorram fool compare her to a Companion he'd known on Osiris?

Her cheeks flushed as she recalled his fumbling attempts to turn the insult back into a compliment. But like always, Simon's big words had tripped over each other and crash-landed at her feet.

A tear dripped down her cheek and hit the circuit board with a sizzle. Kaylee immediately pulled back and closed the access panel. Mad as she was, she wasn't fool enough to be messing with the engine while crying.

Someone knocked on the door. "Permission to enter?"

Kaylee looked up as Inara stepped inside, wrapped in her fancy red satin dressing gown. She must have just returned from a client, because Kaylee didn't recall seeing her shuttle in its dock when she sped past earlier. "Hey 'Nara," sighed the mechanic.

"Such a heavy sigh," remarked the Companion. She perched on a clear bit of metal shelving and smiled. "Something amiss, xiao mèi mèi?"

It was like unplugging the stopper on a dam. Kaylee told Inara everything - how she and Simon had taken a stroll through the moon's bustling marketplace, ready to spend their well-earned pay from the last job. How Simon had eagerly explored the stalls and examined all the wares with rare childlike enthusiasm. How they'd stopped at a little café for drinks, and Kaylee had mentioned this new, unknown, but adorable side to him. How Simon, cheeks flushed with embarrassment, had said how he'd never seen anything quite like the moon's varied wares.

How (here Kaylee's voice began to crack) a flashily-dressed courtesan had appeared and tried to tempt Simon with a proposition. How Simon, still flushed-faced and stammering, managed to talk himself out of said proposition. How the courtesan walked away, prompting the fool Core-boy to remark about she reminded him of a Companion he'd known on Osiris. How Kaylee, curious about this new tidbit about his sex life, asked what she was like, this Companion.

How Simon said, more than a little sharply, 'it doesn't matter, you're nothing like her.' How, red-faced with her own embarrassment, Kaylee proceeded to get up and stalk away as Simon tried to call after her.

At the end of the tale, Inara could barely contain her emotions. Amusement and heartache warred for dominance, but in the end, she was left with frustration. Simon Tam was truly a fool if he let himself speak so thoughtlessly. Especially since he knew how sensitive Kaylee was about her looks in comparison to other women. Maybe we should take a page out of River's book and punch him in the throat...

As if the name held power, River slithered out of the ductwork running along the ceiling. Kaylee and Inara both jumped in surprise as the assassin landed between them without a sound. "Boob is sorry, knows he messed up. Couldn't figure out words to say in time to make you feel pretty."

Kaylee scowled. "He should tell me that himself."

"He should." River focused on her fingers, making imaginary cat's cradles. "He's a boob. Doesn't want the wicked Odile. Forgot his Odette."

That must've meant something to educated folk like the Tams, but Kaylee refused to let her anger fade. "He said I was nothing like the Companion he'd known on Osiris."

"I would hope not. She broke his heart with pretty face and ugly lies." River tapped her fingers together. "Doesn't like to think about her. He'd rather think about you. Told him to tell you so, but he wants to wait."

"Why?" Inara asked.

"Doesn't want to risk getting killed."

Kaylee scoffed. "I'm not gonna - "

"Not you." River grinned wickedly at Inara. "Seen your skill with a bow. Also knows you make incense explode. Can't risk it."

River stared at Inara with wide eyes. "Exploding incense?"

"Long story." The Companion rolled her eyes. "Men. Babies, the lot of them."

"If we go, Siegfried can return to his Swan Queen." River tugged gently at Inara's robes. "Come, come, come."

xiao mèi mèi - "dear little sister"

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