A/N: Another Crazy Eyes story so soon? I have to give all thanks to Bree21 for the prompt for this one. I forgot all about Jacinda - within my Crazy Eyes universe, Kate never had to pretend she didn't remember Castle's confession of love after the shooting, so the trip to Vegas never happened...until Bree's review. I found a way to work in the trip that hopefully is believable.

As with the rest of the Crazy Eyes stories, suspension of disbelief is a prerequisite. I know this is OOC for them - more so for Kate of course - but that's kind of the point. Please read it with humor and nothing serious in mind. This applies for the physics too - you'll see toward the end, but this was the best way I could envision Kate taking out another threat, so some creative license might have been taken :)

I of course don't own anything related to the show or characters - does this even need to be stated anymore? - so no profit is being made off this.

No beta, so all mistakes are mine.

Enjoy!

Crazy Eyes and the Stewardess

The Boylan Plaza bombing case had taken the entire precinct by surprise, and with the overtime everyone - most especially Kate, Rick, Esposito, and Ryan - put in until figuring out that the hack journalist planted the bomb to generate attention to her own dying career, the team was exhausted. With the resulting positive press and good will flowing from headquarters, Captain Gates had graciously agreed to give her premier team two weeks off. Ryan and Esposito had taken Jenny and Lanie up to the Catskills to a spa resort so the boys could fish and the girls could be pampered.

Castle used the opportunity to squeeze a trip to Las Vegas out of Black Pawn, which had been clamoring for him to make a West Coast trip for two years. The confluence of events was perfect for everyone: he and Kate were eager to get out of New York for some rest, Black Pawn wanted to pay for him to take a trip to do a few book signings, interviews, and publicity appearances, and with Nikki Heat's inspiration going along for the trip to Sin City itself, they saw a potential PR bonanza.

Kate stretched out luxuriously on the small Gulfstream that Black Pawn chartered for their trip. It seemed a wildly unnecessary luxury, but the Nikki Heat series of books, now on its fourth novel had made the publisher enough money they were pulling out all the stops to convince Rick to sign a new contract. Castle had no desires to stop writing Nikki Heat or working with Black Pawn and Kate was more than amenable to their working relationship, but the publishers didn't need to know that. She and Castle were playing hardball with the company. Gina Cowell's crooked history was a powerful bargaining chip as well.

Luxury was the byword of the entire trip. They had been put up in a five-star hotel directly on the Strip, allowed VIP access to any casino they wanted, and even took in a few shows, although none of them were the raunchy. Surprisingly, Castle himself insisted they avoid seeing scantily-clad women. At least, she was surprised until he subtly alluded to the fate that other scantily-clad women who had the misfortune of paying attention to him had met. On reflection, avoiding the strippers was probably best for all concerned. Especially the strippers.

They were the only two passengers on the plane, an unimaginable luxury in its own right. The TSA security screening process had been waived given their VIP status and getting their luggage stored had taken next to no time at all, especially since Kate packed no clothes for inside their hotel suite. She hadn't needed any either, as the week turned out.

Thus, it was with a hugely relaxed sigh that she stretched out in the extremely large seats on the magnificently-appointed Gulfstream. "Oh, Rick," Kate purred, "We have got to travel like this more often."

Next to her, Castle grinned as he looked up from his iPad. "I know, right? Not even the FCC can touch us here. This baby is going to stay turned on all throughout the flight!" he gushed.

She rolled her eyes, though the action was muted by the sheer affection shining for her boyfriend. He wouldn't be the same man without his childlike innocence, complete with a love of toys and gadgets of all kinds. She'd tacitly acknowledged that she loved all of his facets when she fell in love with the man himself.

They were still prepping for takeoff, so Kate slid out of her seat with catlike grace. Castle was still focused on the tablet in his hands and didn't see her stalk over to him until her feet took up residence on either side of his. "If I can persuade you to put that cold, lifeless, inanimate toy aside," she started with a sultry growl, "I promise you there will be something else in your lap that will be turned on for the whole flight and much, much more fun to play with."

She could actually see the moment in which Castle's brain shut down. His eyes went wide, his jaw went slack, and his iPad dropped to the floor next to him. Her resulting smirk threatened to split her face in half. Continuing to move very deliberately, showing him exactly who was in charge, she straddled his lap and started peppering his face and neck with passionate kisses.

Kate smiled against his neck as she felt the physical manifestation of his arousal press against her, but her mirth was short-lived as the pilot interrupted their moment via the intercom: "Good morning folks, this is your pilot speaking. We're ready for takeoff. Once we get the final clearance from the gate, we'll start taxiing. At this point I'd like to ask you to get to your seats and fasten your seat belts. Once we're at cruising altitude I'll flip the seat belt sign off, but until then please buckle up. Turbulence can be hazardous to your health. Our flight attendant Jacinda will be taking care of you once we're airborne."

With a pout worthy of the most spoiled Hollywood starlet, Kate fell back to her own seat. "Goddamned pilot. Doesn't he know that interrupting my Castle sexytimes can be hazardous to his own health?"

Castle reached over and interlaced his fingers with hers, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. "I know I didn't say this before in the aftermath of the bombing, but I wanted to tell you how wonderful you were when we were interrogating Bobby," he smiled warmly at her as his mind flashed back to Angry Detective Beckett, yelling at the poor suspect in an attempt to get a confession: 'I was shot in the chest, and I remember every minute of it, especially this wonderful fiancé of mine telling me he loved me, trying to keep me alive long enough to get to the hospital, so you don't fucking get to tell me you don't remember what happened when you were stealing a goddamned backpack!'; "It was one of the sweetest things you've ever said, and it just made me love you even more."

The anger in her voice didn't take any sweetness away from her words. This Kate was even comfortable enough to declare her love in front of a suspect. His words had the desired effect; the pout instantly dissolved from her face as she was lost in the same memory, her face bouncing slightly with each bump and crack the plane rolled over on the way to their takeoff runway. "I meant every word too, Rick. You were wonderful, and I loved you for what you said."

She leaned in for another kiss, but they were broken up by the pilot taking off. The G-forces of the move forced them apart, and before long they were climbing steeply into the skies.

Having her kiss physically interrupted did nothing to help Kate's mood.

Once the plane hit cruising altitude and the 'fasten seat belt' lights blinked off, Kate unbuckled hers to finish where she left off before. Long months and years of seeing her 'attack' mode when it came to sex inured Castle somewhat to the power of the look, but it never failed to make his heart skip a beat as most of his blood went immediately south. She was almost to his seat, feeling the heat of her arousal coursing through her entire body to pool between her thighs when the far too perky blonde flight attendant started heading down the aisle.

"Good morning Mr. Castle!" she almost cooed. A longtime fan of the author in her own right, when the airline told her she was tabbed for this particular flight, she started planning her seduction. Rick Castle's reputation as a playboy author was widely known, and the flight attendant figured he was good for a further punch in her Mile High Club membership card. The presence of the stunning brunette complicated matters, as did the apparent closeness between the two that she witnessed before takeoff. Still, it was nothing she hadn't interrupted before, and Jacinda figured with some effort, she could get the author's attention from the other woman.

Jacinda barely paid attention to the murderous glare coming from the brunette as she swayed her hips toward Rick Castle. "What can I get you today? I would be delighted to take care of any need you might have," she promised, putting enough emphasis on the word 'any' to ensure that no one present missed every layer of meaning.

Castle checked his watch, knowing this was a dangerous situation for all concerned and wanting to do whatever he could to forestall any fatalities. "Well, it's almost lunchtime back home, so why don't we have a brunch? Kate, would you be ok with some fruit, cheese, lunch meat, and crackers?"

Kate was having none of either the slutty flight attendant or Castle's transparent attempts at diversion. "Fine, whatever sounds good to you," she grumped with a wave of her hand.

Sighing, Castle nodded at the flight attendant. "Thanks. Can you just get us the food I mentioned, plus a couple coffees? Vanilla syrup in Detective Beckett's, if you have some available."

Reluctantly tearing her gaze away from the floor to show the skank she wasn't abandoning the field, Kate looked up just as Jacinda turned to head back to the galley, pretended to drop something on the floor, and bent over directly in front of Rick. She couldn't have put her ass on a tray more blatantly if she took the skirt off first. Kate's eyes widened in outrage. She stood up to take drastic action, but just as Jacinda swayed her hips back to the galley, Castle's hand clamped over her mouth. Suppressing the urge to bite him, Kate listened to his whispered words of warning, "Please don't, Kate. She hasn't done anything to encroach on your territory, and I have not responded at all. Just let her do her thing and ignore her. I know I am. I love you and no one else. Never forget that. It will be fine, I promise."

That did the trick, at least temporarily. Kate's ire melted away, and she visibly relaxed, albeit minutely. She shook off her irritation and decided to go to the bathroom to splash some water on her face, unbutton one or two buttons on her deep purple top, and re-sexify her hair.

She gave Castle the sexiest smile she could muster and - with an internal grimace as her departure mimicked the flight attendant's - sauntered her way down the aisle to the restroom.

As Kate reached for the handle of the restroom door, she marveled at the way a few simple actions could make her feel like the most desirable woman on the planet. Her cleavage was much enhanced by the buttons she unbuttoned, her hair had that 'just screwed' look, and the cold water had a bracing, oddly calming effect. She would head out there and show that skank who really ruled the Richard Castle roost.

She pulled the door closed behind her and turned up the aisle to make sure all was right with her world when she was struck nearly dumb. The flight attendant who occupied an uncomfortably large part of her consciousness was rubbing Rick's shoulders and chest from behind, making every effort to lean over as far as possible and drag her ample chest up and down his head.

Nothing less than sheer rage flowed through her veins at the image of her devoted fiancé essentially being given a lap dance while she was away. She stormed up to the seat, but the power of her patented 'glare of death' was tangible far earlier than her actual presence. The slut looked up in horror as she approached before squealing in fright and scampering up to the cockpit to ask if the pilot needed anything.

Jacinda's terror was only slightly more than Castle's. "Kate, I promise I didn't ask for that! She just came up and started doing it after dropping the brunch off."

Kate willed herself to calm down. After all, she'd recently promised Castle she would try to tone down the violence in the future, and her rival clearly had a new understanding of the boundaries. She took a deep, calming breath and plastered on a smile. "I know, Rick. You'd never cheat on me, and she just needed a gentle reminder."

She straddled Rick's lap again, gratified both as a woman and his fiancé when she felt his arousal spring to life again - he wasn't turned on by the blonde rubbing her tits almost in his face, but all she had to do was sit on his lap and he was ready to go. What a wonderful man I have, she thought warmly. She leaned in for more kisses and thought about the space in the plane's bathroom. Kate wasn't sure if Rick could bend enough to make the area work for them, but she was more than willing to try.

It wasn't meant to be, however. Just as her fires started burning again, the plane started to bounce around like a stoner at a rave. She fell back into her seat when the 'fasten seatbelt' light came back on. "Damn that pilot!" she raged, "We were just getting to the good part!"

Castle looked a little freaked out, though whether it was about the turbulence or the denied lust flashing in her eyes wasn't apparent. "I really don't think he's doing it on purpose, honey. He can't control the air pressure," he tried to soothe as the blonde flight attendant bounced her way down the aisle to her jump seat.

"The hell he isn't!" Kate shot back. "He's just jealous that we were going to fuck back here and he's stuck up there flying this tin can."

He was about to reply when Kate got a look in her eye. He knew that look. Luckily it was her look that often portended rigorous physical activity on his part, not violent death to any woman in his general vicinity. "Kate?" he drew out her name warily.

A slow grin spread across her face, and by the time her cheeks were crinkled in mischievous joy, he was oddly reminded of the look on the Grinch when he figured out his nefarious plan for ruining Christmas. "Maybe we can make this work for us instead of against us," she said.

He just raised his eyebrows wordlessly.

"This turbulence is very…bouncy," Kate explained as if to a dense child, "so maybe if we time it right and put our backs into it, we can get some really intense gymnastic world-rocking sex going."

Just like before, she could see the point at which the cessation of his physical activity indicated that his brain shut down. His jaw fell open and his eyes glazed over. She threw caution to the wind and unbuckled her seatbelt again. Just as she started over to his chair, Jacinda, who had probably heard far more of the conversation than Kate would have cared for, called out from the back, breaking the mood again. "Detective Beckett! I meant to tell you! The pilot specifically wanted to talk to you. The turbulence is calming down, so why don't you head up to the cockpit to see what he wanted."

Castle shook himself free of his lust-fueled funk as Kate turned her head and shot her an incredulous stare. "Seriously? Now?"

The other woman nodded vigorously. "Yeah, you should be fine. Go talk to him right now!"

With an inaudible growl and various whispered promises about ways she'd like to ensure the moment-killing blonde never bothered either her or Castle again, Kate reluctantly headed up the aisle and got into the cockpit.

The bitch wasn't lying about the pilot wanting to talk to her, but she did exaggerate the emphasis. Flyboy just wanted an autograph, Kate sneered to herself. She opened the cockpit door, determined to ignore any and all interruptions for good, but just like when she left the lavatory, she was immobilized with horror and rage.

Jacinda stood facing Rick this time. As Kate stood frozen, the blonde unbuttoned her top far enough to reveal her white lace bra. Figures. What is it with these Vegas whores and their fake tits? Kate grumbled with her first coherent thought. She watched as Jacinda leaned forward and grabbed Rick's face, drawing him into a passionate kiss, though Kate was still lucid enough to tell that the passion was entirely on her side. Castle was visibly tense and uncomfortable. When Jacinda reached back to unhook her bra, Kate's eye twitched and she snapped.

"That's it!" Kate shrieked for the entire plane to hear. Jacinda shot up in fear, looking oddly like a teenager caught fooling around on the couch. Rick just slumped down, knowing he was powerless to stop whatever was about to happen, though with an entire plane at her disposal, with kitchen galley included, his fiancé certainly had plenty of options for inflicting pain on the blonde.

Turning back into the cockpit, Kate flashed her NYPD badge and snarled at the hapless pilot just as he pulled out of the turbulence and put the plane on autopilot. "Your job, Mr. Pilot, is to fly this plane and keep us in the air, no matter what you hear or what happens from the cabin. Do you understand me?"

Just as fearful as the other airline employee on board, the pilot just nodded. "Good," Kate muttered as she slammed the cockpit door shut and locked it.

Showtime, she thought as she started prowling down the aisle toward her prey. "I have had it with your attempts to seduce my FIANCÉ under my nose," she started with a low growl, but by the time she got to the end of her declaration, she was almost shouting. Kate reached out and grabbed the center of the bra in front of her, using it as a lever to drag Jacinda away from Rick toward the back of the plane.

When she reached the emergency hatch, Jacinda saw her fate flash in front of her eyes and started fighting. It was a valiant effort, but the life of a flight attendant required much less exertion, to say nothing of the physical conditioning, than the average day of an NYPD Homicide detective. Her struggles were pointless. To Castle's eyes, it was almost like watching a particularly sadistic cat toy with a wounded mouse.

When the mouse managed to get in a lucky elbow to the cat's face, Kate decided to end the struggle once and for all. A quick kick to the side of Jacinda's knee shattered the joint. She followed that up by grabbing the flight attendant's right wrist as she shrieked in pain and yanking the arm forcefully up behind her, almost to the point where Jacinda could scratch her neck. "Castle? I suggest if you don't want to see what's about to happen that you look away.

It was like a train wreck. He wanted to turn away, but he couldn't stop watching. When Kate wrenched the emergency door open, he knew what was about to happen. She pushed Jacinda toward the suddenly rushing opening, but with one last gasp of adrenaline and fear, the blonde ignored the pain in her knee and reached out to block her departure with all four limbs.

Kate just smiled sardonically. With one last spin kick, she landed a solid blow on Jacinda's head, hard enough to stun the woman into letting go. A final shriek echoed throughout the cabin as the pressure imbalance sucked Jacinda out of the door to the 30,000 foot descent.

With superhuman strength, Kate yanked the door closed and locked it securely. She turned to Rick and smiled. "Now that all those unpleasant distractions are done for, where were we?" she practically purred as she swung her hips back to his chair and resumed her straddling position.

"Ohhh yes. We were about to join the Mile High Club together," she grinned as Castle moaned in anticipation.

When the plane landed in New York and the ladder swung down, Castle tottered his way down the stairs. His shoes were untied, his shirt was untucked with the buttons out of alignment, his hair was mussed, and he had lipstick smeared all over his face. Several new hickies adorned his neck.

"You were absolutely right, sweetheart," he stammered out as his unsteady legs found solid ground, "the turbulence made that…otherworldly."

Kate merely stepped gracefully down the ladder and waited for their bags to be unloaded, a satisfied smirk firmly in place.

A/N: And there we have Jacinda! Or rather, there she went :) I hope you enjoyed that latest foray into Kate's twisted world. Reviews are always welcomed and appreciated!