Author's Note EDIT: While I respect constructive criticism and commentary as it is the best way to improve one's writing, I have noticed that some individuals who remain anonymous have been posting nasty reviews regarding my intelligence, not just on this particular fic but on others as well. It seems that there are trolls in the midst of the fanfiction world who feel the need to make others feel bad. It is cowardly to leave an anonymous review of such offensive proportions. I feel for those who are new writers who have received your treatment. In light of this, all reviews will now be moderated and abuse will be be reported. This is a shame, as I prefer to not moderate reviews. I am more than happy to receive critiques in the form of constructive feedback, but abuse will not be tolerated. All nasty reviews are deleted immediately. I want to again thank all of you who have left positive reviews and reviews that help me learn from my errors. Your words are appreciated.

Torn Fixations

The air is hot, beads of sweat trickling down the back of her neck, the sky a haze of blue and white. She is waiting, sitting at the edge between the verdant plains and the cracked lands of the fire kingdom. The border between life and death, creation and destruction. She observes the occasional burst of flames, beautiful in its perilous nature. In the distance she can see the redness of the sky, reflecting off of the pools of lava that mar the landscape.

He has pledged to meet her here, but has yet to show. She knows he will not, but waits anyways in the hope that he will come. He often makes promises to her that he never keeps, and she finds this frustrating and unnerving. She cannot determine how he feels about her, and the uncertainty is slowly driving her mad. A portion of her wants to end it, but she cannot find the strength to break the toxic hold he has on her. The way he touches her, the way he possesses her. It is complicated, what they have. At first she found it thrilling, exciting, an adventure of sensation. But now she is confused, exasperated and discouraged. She does not know what love is. Her fairy-tales have lied to her, but what she has found in their place is no better.

She reflects on her time with Gumball, and feels a pain of regret. She is unsure if she is romantising something that was never real, or if she is truly missing the company of the candied prince. Her mind is a mess, caught between the affairs of old and new. Reminding her of the things she thought she wanted, the ways in which they do not make her feel content, but rather, hollow and alone.

The day is growing late and she knows he is not coming. He is playing games again. Saying one thing but doing another. And she knows that when she seeks him out, she will succumb to the pleasure that he gives her. She stands from her position, ready to depart, fighting the inner demons that tell her she should go to him, that he will give her the paradise she craves.

Her eye catches a small fire creature running across blackened land, darting between the surges of fire. She observes it, the pang for adventure beginning to constrict within her chest, to follow it plucking at her insides. She turns her face away and heads in the direction of the one that makes her feel death, over and over until she is weak with lust and need. He will not come to her. She will go to him, despite her better judgement that tells her not to.

Again and again.