Quick Notes: Basically, this will be Birth by Sleep rewritten with Vanitas in a different role, from his POV. Vanitas/Aqua close!friendship at first, though that may change as close friendships occasionally do. None of these characters belong to me, all that good stuff.

I'm still leaning against the window, looking up at the stars, when she comes up behind me. As usual, it's the faint, floral scent of her perfume that alerts me to her presence. Ocean Breeze, she calls it. Nothing about it is vaguely reminiscent of the ocean, as I've told her before, but the name suits her. And it's her favorite-or at least, the one she uses most often.

"We missed you at the summit," Aqua says softly.

I think of the conversation I'd overheard between my fellow apprentices, how they'd laughed like idiots and been completely at ease as they sparred without me, and the first response that comes to mind is, Well, I sure as hell didn't miss any of you.

I should go ahead and say it. To hell with the promise I'd made Yen Sid of keeping my negativity in check. I don't know what could have possibly possessed me to make me agree to this in the first place; I don't belong here. Eraqus doesn't make any secret of that fact. Neither does Terra, nor his little tagalong, Ventus.

I've been living here, in The Land of Departure, for three years now. Three years, and almost nothing has changed in my relationships with the others. I guess I should be grateful (or something) Eraqus doesn't go ahead and strike me down on the spot, saturated as I am with the Darkness he despises. Even though I've done my best to keep it under control, I know he can sense it in me. He spends only as much time around me as absolutely necessary, and I can feel his displeasure radiating off him in waves every time I interact with one of his other precious apprentices.

Speaking of which, Ventus avoids me like the plague. There's no possible way he could consciously know for certain who I am, but some part of him is aware, and that part is repulsed by my presence. The only times we've been in the same room together, so has at least one of the others. Being around him used to be a near obsession for me-what I am is instinctively drawn towards him-but his rejection has warped it and I can barely tolerate him now either.

And Terra, prideful bastard that he is; it's safe to say that there was mutual dislike between the two of us the second we laid eyes on each other. Ventus and Eraqus have only been fueling that over the years, giving him some stupid notion of protecting the other apprentices. You should see his face every time Aqua comes over to talk to me-he can't seem to grasp why she would do such a thing voluntarily.

Aqua. She's only one who has ever bothered to make any effort to make me feel welcome here, and her I just don't get. I don't think I ever will. How she hangs around me when the others want nothing to do with me, how she tries to make me feel included. Sometimes it makes me so angry-I don't need her goddamned pity-but most of the time it's just confusing-her lack of condescension and the fact that she just seems to enjoy my company, even when I'm being far from pleasant.

Like now.

Say it. Say it so she'll shut up and go away. The urge is overwhelming, and I know that if I allow it to manifest it will do so as a swarm of those little jittery blue bastards the Master called Floods. Say it. Hurt her feelings. Wipe that smile off her face. She's always smiling at me. She's the only one who does.

"Maybe next time," I say.

"Next time," she says. The smile remains as is.

Would she smile at me if she knew who I was? What I can do? What I was meant to do?

I don't think so.

"Tomorrow's the exam," she says after a few minutes of oddly comfortable silence. She's settled next to me to watch the stars, her arm close but not enough to brush up on mine. My fingers dig painfully into the rough surface of the window frame. As if I could forget that little fact, the way Terra's been swaggering around here for days over it. At least Ventus won't be tested, either-I would never be able to live it down if I were the only one Eraqus decided to exclude.

"Yippee," I reply, rolling my eyes.

"You'll be there, won't you? To watch us?"

"Should I be?" My tone is irate as ever, but as usual, it seems to just roll right off her.

"I would like that. Ven says he doesn't play favorites, but you know he's going to be rooting for Terra." She sounds amused, her genuine fondness for my other half plain to hear in her voice. That's another thing I just don't know how she can tolerate; how she seems to accept being some sort of third wheel to their dynamic duo. I can hardly stand to watch them, sometimes.

"I'll go." For you. "Wouldn't pass up the chance to see you whip Terra's ass."

"Vanitas!" Wearing a mock-scandalized expression, Aqua gives my shoulder a playful shove with both hands. It's not remotely hard enough to actually budge me, but I humor her and give way to it, flashing her a smirk in return. Too bad I hadn't been joking. "You know that's not what the exam is about."

"Yeah, yeah." I lean back against the wall, resting my elbows on the window with my hands dangling over the cut stone. "Shouldn't you be going to bed, though? I'd hate to see Terra and a zombie out there tomorrow. Not that it wouldn't be amusing."

"It might be worth it if it got that grumpy look you wear all the time off your face," she says.

I snort and turn around, going back to looking over the grounds. "You want to see a grumpy look on my face? Don't pass tomorrow."

"I guess I'd better be going, then. But first..." Out of the corner of my eye I see her reach into her pocket. There's a soft clink of glass on glass, and then she's pulling my hand to her and placing something in my palm.

Looking down, I'm momentarily at a loss for words. It's hard to believe that she'd made such a delicate-looking thing by hand. It's identical to the ones she had passed out to the others on the summit a few minutes before. It's hard for me to process that she's given me one as well. It's... "It's white."

"Don't you think you have enough black?" She makes a show of looking me up and down, wrinkling her nose.

"One can never have enough black."

"Shush. The point is, this is a good luck charm. It's supposed to represent-"

"-An unbreakable connection."

Her eyes widen for a second before her expression softens and she smiles again. "That's right. You knew?"

Only because I'd been watching earlier, but she definitely doesn't need to know that. "You think I'm as uncultured as those two dorks? Aqua. Please." Ignoring the sigh she huffs out and the way she shakes her head as she turns to go, I hold her gift up by the leather cord. The star-shaped charm rotates slowly, gleaming faintly under the moonlight.

I've never received a gift from anyone before.

"It's...Aqua. Thanks. I..." I struggle to find the words, finally settling for, "I really like it." Lame, but it's better than nothing.

Could do without being unbreakably connected to Ventus and Terra, though.

She's already at the end of the hall, but she turns around at my voice. The smile on her face now is so vibrant it's almost as if I'm the one who's given her the gift. "You're welcome, Vanitas. See you tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow," I agree, and she continues on her way. I wait until the sound of her boots on the marble floor has faded before heading back to my own room.

Tomorrow is going to be a good day.