This story sucks btw.

I'm only writing something because someone asked. Stella is a mary sue and my writing style has grown so much since I started this stupid story. SO its great that the people who like it like it but I am honestly cringing when looking back at this lol

also I don't really write in first person much anymore so if I randomly switch, sorry. Ill try to catch the mistakes.

Stella got lost several times while trying to get to Dumbledore's office. She had to ask around at least once every hallway. When she finally did arrive, she realized she had no idea what the password could be.

"Uh, 1234?" I giggled. The Gargoyle looked unimpressed.

"Candy."

It just stared at me.

"Chocolate Frogs,"

Nope.

"Lemon drops?"

No.

"Sugar Quills?"

Nothing.

"C'mon, you have to let me in."

The Gargoyle frowned and shook his head. The sound of the stone grating hurt my ears.

"Please, its important."

The Gargoyle didn't say a word.

"Dude, c'mon. I need to talk to Dumbledore. It's about Harry Potter and national security and Hogwarts safety."

The stone creature didn't look convinced. I tried to think of a way to convince the stupid statue to let me in. Could I offer it something? Did it eat?

I put on a bright fake smile and put a hand on my hip. "How about I get you the tastiest rat in the entire castle and you let me in, huh?"

The Gargoyle raised its stone eyebrows. "You actually believe I eat rats?"

"So you can talk!" I accused.

The gargoyle gave me another snide look but didn't reply. Rude. Alright Stella, time to turn to blatant threats.

"Okay Mister, I tried being polite. I tried to make you a deal. But if you don't let me in I will use force."

The Gargoyle said nothing.

"This is your last warning," I warned. The Gargoyle was still once again. It was obvious he didn't think I would follow through on my threat.

"Uh hello, I don't really want to ruin thousand-year-old architecture, so if you would be so very kind…."

Still nothing. Was he an idiot?

I sighed. Destruction of property it was. "Okay, you asked for it." I said, not feeling sorry enough. I drew my wand and yelled, "Bombarda!"

The Gargoyle exploded. I think his head flew off into the corridor but I didn't care enough to check. The only thing that I cared about was the giant hole leading to a staircase. Success!

Not even trying to keep my smug grin off my face, I stepped through the rubble and climbed the stairs. It was a spiral one. Stone spiral, I noted with distaste. When was the last time someone bothered wiping the dust and cobwebs off the walls? Gross.

I didn't bother knocking on the door; I think my struggle to push it open gave anyone inside a warning to my incoming presence. But as it happened, no one was inside when I stepped in. Rude.

Looking around, I noticed that the office was pretty sweet. I had never seen the Oval Office but if I had, I would have thought it looked a lot like Dumby's office. It was circular for one thing, and very very big. There was no order to the room but somehow it didn't look messy. Tables littered the space with all sorts of noisy objects on them. Some puffed out smoke and others chirped. What a weird office.

But then I saw the portraits tacked to the far wall. And they were all sleeping. In the middle of the day. Sure it could get boring sitting in a frame all day, but really? I stomped up around Dumbledore's enormous claw footed desk and tapped on the closest picture frame. The woman sitting inside startled herself awake. She looked at me bewildered.

"Hey lady," I bugged, "Where's the headmaster?"

"Uh, well," she looked around at her fellow portraits. "Which one, dear?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose in exasperation like I had read in some books. "The current one," I gritted my teeth. "Honestly why would I need some crusty painting?"

She frowned snootily at me. "Dumbledore is out. And it would do you some good to learn some manners, young lady. Why, in my day-"

I took out my wand, pointed it at her face, and muttered a 'Silencio'. She shut up. Hmm did not know that would work on paintings. So what I was a little brash? I was agitated. Draco could pose a real problem for me.

"Anyone else want to complain about my upbringing slash manners?" I asked.

Several of the other portraits had miraculously woke up and were looking at me. Some of them shook their heads, others sneered disapprovingly and looked away. Others 'went back to sleep'.

I eyed the rather comfy looking chair that sat behind Dumbledore's desk. I sure wasn't leaving the office now that I had put that much effort to get in. And since no one was here….

Don't mind if I do, I thought as I sat down in the headmaster's chair. I swung my feet up and thumped them on his desk.

"Well, I never!" Someone scoffed from behind me. I flashed a rather rude hand gesture behind me. More grunts and gasps followed. Then I closed my eyes. A bird squawked. Wait, a bird? Reluctantly, my eyes cracked open and looked for the source of the noise.

A reddish looking bird, a phoenix, was perching on one of the tables. Its beady eyes were staring me down like I was in the wrong. To be honest, the bird was right but who listened to a bird? So I ignored the bird, threatened it with a stunning hex if it annoyed me, and settled down for a nap. Hopefully the bird could understand English.

-Indeterminate amount of time later-

"Miss Smith!"

I stirred and cracked my eyes open to see a very irate Dumbledear and McGonagall standing in front of the desk. Oh boy. I sat up then, my feet thumping on the floor loudly. I grimaced sheepishly.

"Miss Smith, do you care to explain yourself?" McGonagall demanded, fury barely concealed.

I looked between the two professors, thinking hard. After a second of deliberation, I shrugged.

"Well?" she hissed.

I cringed, already anticipating what would be her reply to my next sentence.

"Lady, I got nothing." I shook my head innocently.

She turned very red. Then she began to shout at me in some other language. Wow, McGonagall knew another language? I could not keep myself from grinning. Dumbledore laid a hand on her arm and gave her a look. She stopped swearing in whatever inhuman tongue she was using.

"Miss Smith, I was walking down the hallway after a long meeting with a rather disagreeable teacher, and you know what I found upon entering my office?

"Professor, I wasn't there when you, ahem, attempted to arrive in you office, so there is no possible way that I could know, but based on my incredible intelligence and excellation in Divination, I'm willing to guess you saw a dead Gargoyle?

Dumbly frowned, his lips were very thin. "Yes," he minced lightly after an awkward pause. "That is one way of putting it."

McGonagall couldn't keep herself from being quiet anymore. She had always believed in strong discipline and what Stella had done was, well, something that no one had ever done before. It was a new low in castle shenanigans. The stonework was so complex; it would take professionals to repair the Password Gargoyle. Not to mention that it was a priceless stone artifact that's been around for centuries and now it was ruined!

"Do you realize what you have done?" she shrilled. Stella was currently imagining her face as a human teapot, about to boil over, screaming at someone to take it off the stove. It took her a second to process the words. An uncaring mask was plastered across Stella's face; a way to tell everyone she was in charge, not the two highly overqualified adults in front of her.

"Hm," I said, sarcastically, knowing I would pay for it dearly later. I just couldn't stop myself. "Probably broken at least a dozen school rules, defaced beloved property, and broke into the headmasters office successfully." I grinned and looked at Dumbledore. "Has anyone ever done that?"

Dumbledore didn't answer. Man, he was such a wet blanket. Sure what I did was wrong, but c'mon, I might have made history as the first student to break into the headmaster's office!

"Correct!" McGonagall's eyes were bulging weirdly. I hoped they wouldn't pop. She was a master at fuming. I'd never used that word to describe anyone before but with her, you just had to label it.

"Miss Smith, why on earth would you do this?" Dumbledore asked, his eyes flashing. Somehow it didn't look like the twinkle that Harry always used to describe him in the books.

Well at least we were getting to the point. Draco was going to be a huge thorn in my side if I, or we, didn't handle this correctly. He had connections and if he bothered to use them it could be very bad. I suppose I could use scare tactics, but lets face it, I'm two feet shorter than him. Draco was really tall for a fifteen year old. Must have hit puberty early. Ughhhhhh, now that was something to shudder about. Dumbledore made a noise in his throat, trying to get my attention. I still hadn't gotten up from his desk chair.

I coughed. "Sorry. Uh, so I was in class today, Care of Magical Creatures to be exact, and Draco said something asshole-ish to Harry. Naturally, I stood up for him, and Draco well, he sort of recognized me."

It dawned on McGonagall instantly. "Of course," she breathed, her anger, although still present, was receding slightly. "Bellatrix Lestrange is Draco Malfoy's aunt."

"He recognized you?" said Dumbledore. "He's never met his aunt, she been in Azkaban before he was born."

McGonagall shook her head. "Not quite. He would have been very very young. Far too young for him to remember, of course, so your point still stands."

"I don't know how, but he called me Aunt Bella and that was enough creep to make me gag." I said with confidence I didn't feel. Pretend I had this under control. Pretend I wasn't worried.

"What did Mr. Malfoy say specifically?" asked Dumbledore beginning to pace.

I thought back to this morning, trying to remember the blondes words.

"He just said, 'Aunt Bella?'." I recalled. "then I called him a giant prick and stomped off to go do the stupid crap that Hagrid makes us do."

Dumbledore and McGonagall did not appreciate my extra commentary. However they decided to ignore it in light of my situation.

McGonagall sighed. "So he doesn't know for sure?"

Dumbledore was still stuck on the first part. "How could he know what Bellatrix Lestrange looks like? He was a baby."

"There are these things called pictures," I snapped sarcastically. "You look at them and compare them to people in real life."

Dumbledore looked very close to losing his cool. McGonagall was already past that point. Not good odds. I could hear a portrait behind me chuckling and I fought the urge to high five it.

"What should I do?" I asked to distract them from my rude comment.

"Ignore it for now," said Dumbledore, extremely quiet. "I suggest changing your look as well."

"Change my look?"

"I'm not up to date with the modern trends, but I believe the teenagers are into straight hair and scrunchies?" wondered Dumbledore aloud. I rolled my eyes. It was so easy to forget it was the 90's.

"Yeah, not wearing any 90's fashion." I lipped. "But I could put on some extra makeup."

Dumbledore nodded reluctantly. "Keep your head down and stay away from Malfoy. Don't speak to him, don't act like you're avoiding him, just be bland."

"You mean myself, right?" I chuckled at the expense of myself. No one else did. Pricks. Taking out my list of horcruxes, I handed it to Dumbledore.

"here's a list of things you need to start cracking on." I grinned.

He examined them interestedly. A glance of newfound appreciation was thrown my way. I basked in it. McGonagall was not so forgiving.

"If we are done with this whole identity issue, I'd like to move on to the 'I just destroyed an office and don't expect any repercussions' incident." She growled.

I gave her a dirty look. Her appalled expression was priceless. "Look, I couldn't get it. And there isn't exactly a doorbell so what did you expect me to do?"

"Wait!" she exclaimed. "Or if you simply must speak to the headmaster, get a teacher!"

I frowned dramatically. "You see, here's the problem. I don't actually like or know a lot of these teachers and property damage is one of my things."

She looked ready to punch someone. "You fell asleep in the headmasters chair,"

"Not a crime," I smiled defiantly.

"Hexed a sacred portrait," she argued back.

"It was being annoying," defense was my thing.

"Threatened a phoenix," how did she know about that?

"It can't talk,"

"Walked in without an invitation!"

"I had, a problem!"

"Thinks you're better than everyone just because you know more! Punishments don't apply to you,"

I was about to argue when I realized that it was true. So I stretched my hands behind my head and laughed. "Hit the nail on the head, Minnie."

She froze. "SHOW SOME RESPECT,"

Okay, didn't think she'd yell that loud. Time to back out. I stood up and began hurrying towards the door.

"Well professors, I had a wonderful time, but I must get home. I left the oven on you see?"

I was gone and picking myself over the stone wreckage before they could protest. Yep, defiantly paying for that later. I skipped back to Gryffindor Tower already thinking of ways to sue Umbridge for the detention she was going to give us later tonight.

I tried guys. The timelines also off. By a day I think. I don't care enough to fix it. Hope its cool.