A/N: OK, random Taishiro here. Giftfic for energy - I wish I could've written you a better one, sweet! This is almost completely random, another of my famous post-midnight brainfarts. Enjoy. Warnings for gratuitous bolognese sauce and complete idiocy throughout. Very odd.

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One of these days he's going to catch me looking at him, and then all hell will break loose.
How can I not, though? He's so attractive! Just look at him - those lovely deep brown eyes, the way the rich mocha of his skin melds into the soft chestnut of his hair, the strong arms and lean, wiry body barely hidden underneath his shirt...
Yes, I'm officially obsessed. Koushiro Izumi, the boy whom 95% of people would vote Most Likely To Be Frigid, is obsessed with his best friend.
I don't know when I first started finding him attractive. I also don't know how I could ever not have - he's gorgeous. Not only that, but he's kind, sweet, funny, big hearted...and almost certainly straight. Even if he weren't, why on earth would he go for me? I'm short, not at all sporty, about as attractive as a month-old egg sandwich (and about as interesting), and my social abilities leave a lot to be desired. No, if Tai really were gay (which he isn't), he'd be a thousand times more likely to crush on Matt than on me. Matt is so much better-looking than I am - he's tall and graceful, not short and clumsy like me; he's friendly and funny where I'm introverted and boring; and he's Tai's best friend. They'd make the perfect couple.
So: chances of Tai being gay, one in a thousand. Chances of Tai being attracted to me rather than Matt: one in a thousand. Net chance of Tai liking me back: one in a million. And that's being optimistic.
Oh god, look at him. The way he wets his lips with his tongue before he speaks; the sparkle in his eyes when he cracks a joke; the way his face lights up when he's really getting into a conversation. Every time I look at him, I get this fluttery, half-fearful feeling in the pit of my stomach...
"Koushiro?"
"Uh?" I jump, nearly dropping my book in the process. It's Sora, her eyes full of gentle concern.
"Are you OK? You seem like you've been on that page for ten minutes, and I swear your mind's miles away. Is everything all right?"
To cover my confusion, I look back down at my book. I hadn't actually been reading it - just using it to hide my longing stares at Tai.
"Uh...it's just a tricky page," I tell her, no doubt sounding as stupid as I feel.
"Oh. Right." She withdraws, and I kick myself for being a coward. Instead, she turns her attentions to Tai, and I'm instantly jealous - she can talk to him so freely, so easily, when I can barely say two words to him without blushing to the roots of my hair and feeling like a complete idiot.
I scowl and bury myself almost viciously back into my book - but I can't concentrate on anything when Tai's sat so close to me. In fact...
My mouth suddenly goes dry as his leg comes into contact with mine underneath the table - and stays there. I can barely breathe; I don't know whether to jerk away (would that look too suspicious?) or stay where I am (will he suspect something if I do?) I sneak a look at his face, still as animated as ever, chatting to Sora - he's obviously completely oblivious to what this casual touch is doing to me.
I take several deep breaths, trying to control my pounding heart. Relax! If he notices - if he guesses - my life will be seriously screwed.
I finally manage to regain at least some of my cognitive ability, and focus back on the conversation. His leg hasn't moved an inch - he's so warm...
"So d'you fancy coming out to a movie tonight?" Sora asks. I start, and look at her more closely - her head is on one side, and her entire body language screams Hopeful Flirting.
"Oh, sorry, I can't," Tai says contritely, "I'd made plans to go over to Koushiro's house tonight."
My mouth drops open and my book slides out of my nerveless fingers to balance precariously on my knee. WHAT?
Sora looks pleadingly at him. "Are you sure? Can't you come, just this once?"
He shakes his head sadly. "Sorry. Kou's letting me sleep over, so I can't back out now. He's cooking my favourite meal specially. Aren't you?"
I gape at him. He's semaphoring madly with his eyebrows, obviously wanting me to say yes. My brain starts off on all sorts of thought trains, ranging from 'but you can't have him at your house! He'll catch you staring at him, and when he finds out why he'll go ballistic!' all the way through to 'he's only doing this to get away from Sora, you know'.
Unfortunately, the part of my brain that would do anything to get close to Tai is a lot quicker on the uptake, and before I can stop it it's taken over my vocal chords.
"Of course!"

God, I'm such an idiot...
Not to mention a stupid lovestruck fool. What the hell was I thinking? Nothing, obviously, I just opened my big mouth and said yes. Idiot, idiot, idiot.
He knows I can't cook, anyway! I had to ring Matt just to find out what bolognese sauce was, never mind where to get it. I spent almost an hour on the phone to him, writing down every single direction - I couldn't believe we didn't have a cookbook which told you how to make spaghetti bolognese! Why couldn't Tai's favourite food have been something simple, like - I glare at the cookbook - duck a l'orange with scalloped potatoes?
Shit! The sauce is boiling! Number Three on Matt's list of Things That Shouldn't Happen. I drag it off the cooker, stir it feverishly, turn the gas down and slam it back on.
Matt saw right through me from the start, of course. For a moment I toyed with the idea of going with 'well, I have this friend who coincidentally has an exact carbon-copy of my life', decided against it and 'fessed up. I could hear his eyebrows raising.
"You're cooking spaghetti bolognese for Tai? Did I miss something?"
I squirmed. "Umm...no! He...invited himself over. To get away from Sora," I add quickly, terrified he'll get the wrong idea.
He chuckled quietly. "Sheesh, you miss one lunchtime, you miss everything. Stupid detentions. Go on, since he wasn't there, tell me everything."
I told him a sanitised version of 'everything', of course, leaving out the episode with Tai's leg as well as the reason why I said yes so quickly.
He didn't buy it. "Why did you say yes so quickly?"
"Um..."
"You like him, don't you?" Ordinarily I'd have denied that instantly, but it wasn't said in that spiteful playground 'You liiiike him, don't you?' way. It was just a simple question, straight up, with only the faintest hint of amusement in his voice.
"...Yes," I whispered, hanging my head. He suddenly became all brisk and businesslike.
"Right then, let's make this the best damn spag bol Tai's ever eaten!"
I had a sudden vision of the future. "You're going to be insufferable for weeks, aren't you?"
He chuckled again. "Try and stop me. Now, let's get cooking!"

And that's how I ended up here, up to my eyeballs in pots, pans and kitchen utensils with god only knows what function. When I first opened a drawer I thought I'd wandered into a DIY store, not my kitchen. Some of these things look like they belong in a builder's toolbox.
Luckily, cooking has helped take my mind off worrying. I'd be running around the house tearing my hair out right now if it weren't for the fact that if I did the spaghetti'd boil dry. I can't help thinking about it, though, in those rare moments when none of the pans need my inexpert attention. What will I say? What will I do? Will it be blatantly obvious that I have a hopeless crush on him?
I've already caught myself doing various things that might alert him when he finally gets here. Things like putting on my best shirt, brushing my hair for the tenth time, splashing on some of my dad's aftershave. When I found myself ironing my socks I knew it'd gone too far, and turned my attention to cooking instead.
In the interim, I managed to worry about every single little thing. Am I going to be able to act normal? Do I look normal (or as close to normal as I ever get)? Will he like my cooking? (If he does, it'll be a miracle). Anyway, here I am, wearing my second-best shirt (hey, I still want to look good, right?), my hair looking reasonable-to-good - and I'm still smelling faintly of my dad's aftershave, damn it! And only...
Oh, shit. Is that the time? I yank the plates out of the oven and start wrestling with the intransigent spaghetti, thanking the gods that my parents aren't here to see the mess I'm making of their lovely clean kitchen. I try to make the portions as equal as possible (if I give him too much, will he get suspicious?) and then start ladling out the meat/sauce mixture.
Eventually I stand back to survey my handiwork. Not bad, not bad...what've I forgotten?...
Parmesan! I grab at the kitchen cupboard, picking up salt, paprika, baking soda and hundreds-and-thousands in quick succession before finally locating the errant parmesan. I sprinkle it on, add a sprig of parsley for effect (Matt's suggestion) and voila!
As if on cue, the doorbell rings, and my mouth instantly goes dry. My knees go wobbly and I can feel myself starting to sweat.
Just let him in, you fool!
I didn't think my mouth could get any drier, but I'm proved wrong when I open the door. My jaw practically hits the floor. He's obviously just come back from soccer practice, and he looks dirty and sweaty and dead sexy. Sports bag in one hand, overnight bag slung over his shoulder, soccer shirt undone slightly at the collar, smile playing around his lips.
I manage to get my mouth to shut, but unfortunately once shut it refuses to open again. Not that I'd be able to say anything, but still...
"Can I come in?"
Instantly, I curse myself for being a fool. "Of course! Come in!"
He sniffs appreciatively at the air. "Wow! Something smells good! Smells like..." His eyes flick down, and he fixes me with a questioning look. "Smells like...spaghetti bolognese?"
I don't understand his reaction. "With extra tomatoes and parmesan - that is how you like it, right?"
The look on his face makes all that hard work more than worthwhile. To see his face light up like that I'd cook a thousand dinners. Just knowing that I've made him this happy makes me feel warm and fuzzy and decidedly light-headed.
"Oh, Kou," he says, "I didn't mean...you shouldn't...I only...you didn't have to."
I blush. "It's nothing." By the way, did you know I have a massive crush on you?
"Nothing, my bum," he retorts. "I bet it took you ages."
"Well..." If I blush any harder I think my face is going to explode...
"Anyway," he grins at me, "am I OK to dump my stuff?"
"Sure," I manage, "the bedroom's over there..." headoutofthegutter headoutofthegutter headoutofthegutter...
While he puts his bags in the bedroom, I finish up preparing the meal and put the plates on the table. By the time he comes in, changed and looking if possible even sexier in a blaze of dark blue, everything is perfect.
He slides into the seat opposite and smiles warmly at me. "Looks delicious." He inhales deeply. "Smells delicious, too!"
I shrug. "Won't taste delicious, knowing my cooking."
He grins. "It'll be fine." He raises a steaming forkful to his mouth, and I wince instinctively - I hope it doesn't poison him...
He chews quickly (he always was impatient) and swallows, and I wait nervously for the verdict.
"It's fantastic!"
I blush yet again. "You're kidding."
"No, really! It's great!"
I can't believe it - he likes it!
At that moment my own stomach makes itself known with a growl of indignation, and Tai chuckles at me. I stick out my tongue at him, pick up my fork and dig in.

* * * * *

Be still, my raging hormones...
If I'm not careful, I won't be able to control them much longer. It's late, I'm tired, and he's damn sexy...
We're both sprawled over chairs in the lounge, semi-comatose. The TV's on but the volume's not - which is fine, as neither of us are actually watching it. We're just sat here in our pyjamas, feeling sleepy and relaxed - that I-should-go-to-bed-but-can't-be-bothered-moving vibe.
Tai stirs suddenly. "I guess I owe you an apology."
I can feel my eyelids trying to get to know each other a little better, and drag them forcibly back open. "For what?"
"Oh, you know. Forcing myself on you like this."
"It's no trouble."
"No trouble?" he says disbelievingly. "You put up with me for four hours, not to mention cooking me a meal, and say it's no trouble?"
"I like having you here."
He's quiet for a few seconds, then, "Well then, if I can't say sorry for that, at least let me apologise for being a total baka."
I'm too tired for this - any minute now my brain's going to go into oh-sod-it mode and I'll tell him I like him. "Huh?"
Tai shifts uncomfortably. "You know...all that business with Sora."
I wave a hand dismissively. "That's OK. Use me as an excuse any time you like." If it means I get to see you more often, I'm up for it.
He chuckles incredulously. "Used as an excuse? Don't be stupid." He goes quiet for a few seconds, then says hesitantly, "You weren't my excuse. She was."
"What?" This isn't making sense - one of us is definitely too tired, and I'm almost certain it's me.
"Kou..." He squirms again. "I got Sora to ask me out so I could come here without having to ask you myself." I hear a quiet, self-deprecating laugh. "I'm such a coward."
Wait a minute. "Are you saying..."
He turns to face me. "Oh, sod it." He rolls his eyes up to the ceiling and says in a forced sing-song tone, "Yes, I set this whole thing up. Yes, I did it because I was too chicken to ask you out face to face. Yes, I'm gay, and yes, I've liked you for ages." He gets off the sofa and walks away, not looking at me. "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to bed. You can hate me in the morning." What the hell just happened?
I ask because it sounded like the culmination of all my hopes and dreams, and yet I'm not jumping up and down with joy, I'm sat here feeling stunned and shocked and above all unhappy. And damn it, he's unhappy too. What went wrong?
Well, whatever went wrong, it's up to me to put it right. And...I'm scared. I've never done this before. Do I dare?
I take a deep breath and make my way into the bedroom. Tai's sat on the corner of my bed, faintly outlined by the light from the lounge. His face is turned away from me, but by the sounds he's making and the way his shoulders are quivering, he's crying.
I open my mouth, then realise I haven't got anything to say. In that case, forget words.
I come up behind him, moving as softly as I can, and lower myself onto the bed. Gently, I slip my arms around his chest, and I wince as he flinches away.
"Don't bother."
"Why?" I tighten my grip, bringing him closer to me. "Tai, I don't hate you. Why would I?"
"Why shouldn't you?"
"Taichi Kamiya," I address him, prompting him to turn and face me, "I have no reason to hate you. Quite the opposite." I smooth a tangle of hair back out of his eyes, and he looks at me with a what-the-hell-are-you-doing look in his brown eyes.
I take a deep breath. "Tai, I've been attracted to you for a long time. A long time." His eyes light up, and I smile at him. ""I just never dared do anything about it. I never thought you were..."
"Gay?" he supplies, smiling back at me. "Surprise."
I chuckle. "Yeah. Even if I thought you were, I thought you'd go for Matt, not me."
He looks at me like I've gone insane. "Matt?!"
"Yeah! Why on earth not? He's smart, funny, attractive - "
" - a major pain in the ass, too smart for his own damn good, and completely self-absorbed," Tai rattles off, grinning. "And a good friend. A friend. That's all." He ruffles my hair. "So you don't have to worry about him, Kou-chan."
"I'm glad...Tai-chan."
He leans forward, laughter dancing in his big brown eyes. "Koushiro Izumi...will you be my steady?"
I laugh, and suddenly he leans in and kisses me. "I mean it. Yes or no?"
I return the kiss, lingering for just a few seconds longer this time. "Yes."
He wraps his arms around me and holds me tight, resting his chin on the top of my head. "Good."
I can't help but chuckle at the monosyllabic exchange. Yawning hugely, I bury my head in his chest, feeling the rhythm of his breathing and the steady pulse of his heart.
"Sleep?"
"Definitely."