Jacob Black

Theme: Sibling Rivalry

Kagome gazed at her elder half sister's 'new look' and blinked slowly trying to digest everything that she had been told upon her arrival half an hour ago. She slowly looked around the room full of vampires, were shifters and whatever else was hiding in the shadows, oh my! She shot Edward a glare when he chuckled at her. Stupid mind reading twat, yeah that's right I just called you a twat. She smirked when Edward let out a small huff, even though it was amusing to mess with her new brother in law she knew everyone in the room was waiting for her reaction.

She sat up a little bit straighter making everyone in the room, even the vampires, hold their breath. She resisted the urge to smirk at them all and smiled to ease their worries. "So…Bella, you married a vampire he knocked you with Rensemameme or however you say it and she um…almost killed you from the inside. You had her and he changed you. Oh and Jake and the others are were shifters. Right?"

Bella nodded lightly upset at her sister's comment about the creative name she gave her daughter. While she would admit that she did kind of like her younger half sister it didn't take much for her to get irked at her. It was normal, if you took in to account that her younger half sibling was the reason her world was torn apart when she was younger.

Oh yes, Kagome was born out of wed lock while her parents were, in her mind, happily married. So yes, she was a bit biased when it came to her younger half sibling. So it came as no surprise to anyone who knew about her feelings for her, Edward, her dad, Jasper who was hiding out in the next room, and Jake, when her words came out jaded and sharper then she intended. "Yes, and her name is Renesmee. It's a combination of my mother's name and Esme's name."

Kagome nodded, more then used to Bella's treatment of her, and shot her dad a small smile. The poor man was always on pins and needles when his daughters were in the same room together. With good reason, sadly, Bella had this complex of trying to best her and embarrass her. It was understandable but she tried to avoid it, she truly did but Bella was a pro at getting under her skin with veiled insults here and there all the while trying to appear to be innocent, and it really annoyed her.

Kagome cleared her thoughts, shooting Edward a small glare knowing he was listening, it wasn't really his fault but hey, it was still rude. Yes, she could erect a barrier but she was tired and had jet lag. She ignored Edward as he stared at her in wonder and suspicion. God, leave it to Bella to marry a guy with –no, she wasn't going to finish that thought.

She sloppily threw up a barrier around her mind and ignored Edward as she began to speak. "Well…okay? I mean I've seen weirder. I mean I myself am mother to a kitsune who is at this very moment no doubt making me a grandmother for the hundredth time, that boy will be the death of me. Sister to the leader of the northern wolf tribe in Japan as well as to the Dog General and lord of the western lands in the demon realm. Not to mention all the other wonderful and often times odd people I've met in my journeys, and don't even get me started on all the titles and things I have under my belt. All I really have to ask is why, if you become 'frozen' the moment you're changed do you my dearest sister not look like you're knocked up?"

Kagome had no doubt that if Bella could blush she would be right now but she couldn't. All she could do was gape at her, along with half of the room, and make choking noises. Sadly she quickly snapped out of her stupor and screeched out in a high pitched voice. "W-hat? How dare you?"

Kagome rolled her eyes, leave it to Bella to be over dramatic. "Look Bella it's a logical question. You were knocked up when Edward changed you…be it your stomach was ripped open at the time, you should still look like you are pregnant not like some alternative tastes European model. I get that Edward most likely 'put you back together' even so you still had your rock hard placenta in you because you had a C-section of sorts." She curled her lip in diastase at the thought of it.

"So unless he ripped that out and somehow managed to stitch you back together so you would have a flat stomach you should look forever pregnant. Any way you look at it Edward must have done something because I doubt he liked the idea of you forever looking knocked up. Unless he's into that kind of thing…well obviously he's not because you don't look pregnant, but still. You get my point."

A stunned silence filled the room as everyone once again gapped at her, Bella herself was doing a great impression of a fish out of water. The silence was broken by Emmet's loud laugh echoing throughout the room. "Dude! You married the wrong sister! This one is way cooler!"

Kagome shot Emmet a smirk as Bella stormed out of the room with Edward trailing behind her. "As much as I would love to be related to you Emmet I would never marry someone so…whipped. Besides, I don't like girly emo guys." This time Jake, Leah, Emmet, and even Rose cracked grins. "So what kind of guys do you like?" Emmet shot her a coy look and a small wink. "Well, sadly for you I unlike my dear mom don't go after married guys…well okay I might make an exception for you, but I have no doubt Rosalie would try to kill me." She was joking of course, she vowed when she was younger that she would never repeat the mistakes of her mother. Ever.

Rose mockingly glared at Kagome, yes she usually hated outsiders especially human ones but, but! This young woman seemed to be her kind of girl, much like Leah, plus she disliked Bella as much if not more than her and was good at making fun of and embarrassing the little bitch. "Oh, there's no question I would kill you." Her voice was light and angelic as the words slipped out of her mouth like honey. It would be hard for anyone to tell she was joking but luckily Kagome had experience with said senses of humor.

Kagome shot Rose a grin her eyes flashing with raw power for a mere second making everyone in the room tense, that wasn't human. "You could try my dear but I doubt you would have much luck. The thousands before you haven't and the thousand's after won't either. I'm just that good. But don't worry if you want you can join the party. I've always wanted to try a threesome with vampires."She laughed as her dad covered his ears and scrunched up his face much like a two year old. "Kagome! I don't want to hear this! La, la, la, la I can't hear you!" Everyone laughed as he left the room followed by a smiling Sue.

Paul shot Kagome a smirk. "You're a wild one aren't you?" Kagome grinned devilishly. "You know it. But sadly for you I don't go for mated males either. I had a bad experience with one once. Teme didn't tell me he was mated at all and the next day his banshee of a mate showed up and tried to kill me." She shivered at the memory. "Never again." Everyone laughed lightly at her making her blush.

Paul pouted. "But you would for Emmet?" Kagome rolled her eyes at him, feeling a lot like a pre teen with all the eye rolling she was doing today. "I said I would think about it, besides I'm kind of with someone…I think…maybe…does IMing and sexting count? Yeah I think it does…" She trailed off as everyone looked at her in confusion save for Jacob who was looking anywhere but at her with a small blush on his face.

"Would you guys stop looking at me like that? Geez, not all of us have some magic voodoo that leads us to our mate for life…nor a pixie like vampire that can see the future and play match maker, God." She scrunched her face up in mock anger. Alice merely smiled a knowing smile. "Well if you want to know Kagome I can tell you who you end up with…" Alice's eyes twinkled with mischief.

Kagome gulped lightly, Alice's grin and eyes reminding her far to much of a certain demon slayer who used to love trying to hook her up with Inu Yasha, Kouga, Sesshomaru, and anyone else she thought would be a good match for her. "Um, no its okay. I'm the kind of person who takes thing as they come. What will be will be. I'm not Bella you know, wanting things now and my way." Alice huffed. "You're no fun." Kagome smiled. "Well okay fine you can give me hint but nothing else." Alice squealed loudly and clapped her hands. "Yay! Okay hmm a hint…hmmm. Oh! I got it! I hope you like doggy style because you're future mate loves it!"

Esme gasped at Alice's brazen words. "Alice!" Alice merely grinned and ducked her head. Jasper shook his head a small smile on his face as Emmet, Paul, Leah, Jake, and Jared burst out laughing. Poor Seth had a bright red blush on his face. Kagome sweat dropped. "Great, you just narrowed it down to about ninety seven percent of my suitors, my maybe boyfriend included."

Emmet wolf whistled and slapped Paul on the back. "She's a freak!" Paul grinned lecherously. "Man! If only I wasn't mated I'd tap that!" Kagome groaned as her father's angered voice yelled at them from the other room. "That's my daughter boys and I'd like to remind you I have a shot gun and as the sheriff its my duty to shoot at over grown wolves and vampires to protect my town!" They all laughed except the ones who were threatened.

Alice pouted because she didn't get the reaction she had wanted. "Well darn, I was expecting a better reaction." Kagome smiled apolitically at her. "Sorry dear most of my friends are either canine or canine like, I guess you could say I'm the bestiality fan of the family and Bella is the necrophilia one." Emmet and Paul were leaning on each other for support as they laughed. Everyone else minus Esme and Carlisle were either smirking or chuckling lightly.

It all stopped the second a calmer looking Bella and Edward entered the room. Bella blinked and looked around her small family in confusion. "What's going on?" Rose smirked at the little whore, ignoring her brothers glare, and opened her mouth letting her words slip out like sugar coated honey. "Nothing much, we were all just talking about how much we would rather it be Kagome that's part of our family." Bella gasped if hurt. Leah snorted and spoke up. "Yeah, I mean I feel for you guys, getting stuck with Bella, ugh."

Bella let out a small whimper like sound before running out of the house again with Edward on her heels again. Kagome sighed and held her head in her hands. "God, I'm never going to hear the end of this. Did you guys really have to do that?" Leah smirked. "No, but it was funny huh?" Kagome huffed. "Oh yeah hilarious." Rose nodded. "I know." Kagome snorted, she had no doubt she would fit in well here, much to her sister's annoyance, but hey she was the one who called her.

Alice giggled, no doubt seeing bits and pieces of the future, if her glazed over eyes were anything to go by, and turned to Jake. "…you are one lucky mutt." Everyone blinked at her as she smiled knowingly and left the room a skip in her step. Kagome flushed red as it clicked in her head and let a small grin cross her face. "Well I guess my would be boyfriend is a for sure boyfriend…and here I was afraid we were hooking up just to spite Bella. Then again that's just an added bonus." She smiled innocently yet it was slightly off due to the sadistic glint in her eyes.