P.S: I don't own this songs, the artists who sing them do though. Is my name Rihanna, PSY, Bruno Mars, Justin Bieber or LMFAO? NO. But I'm not telling you my name either!
P.P.S: I want to try to do something about chicken nuggets! Any little ideas? Thanks!
HOUSE OF HADES FUN-SHOTS # 1: LEO SINGS IN THE SHOWER
Hazel slumped herself on the couch of the Argo 2's living room. She had just battled along with Frank and Nico some 300 acid-spitting eagles. Then, they had crashed against a hill and were stuck there in the middle of a field of cow poop for 4 hours until Leo had finished fixing it. She was sick, burned, cut and she smelled bad. Like cow poop.
If Annab-never mind had been there, maybe they could have been up and floating for less than 2 hours...but no, both of them were gone. Hazel felt like her heart has sunk into her stomach and she closed her eyes, trying to relax.
"Shine bright like a diamond
Shine bright like a diamond
'What in the bloody Underworld is that?' thought Hazel. She didn't mind music, some good relaxing music is sometimes good for your brain, like when you're stressed out. Oh, maybe she was hallucinating, she did hear Diamonds by Rihanna a couple of times when Frank and her were having problems.
Find light in the beautiful sea
I choose to be happy
You and I, you and I
We're like diamonds in the sky
Okay Hazel had ENOUGH. Singing wasn't bad, but what she heard was one of the ultimate Hazel annoyance crazy recipes:
Nails against a chalkboard + a hippo giving birth + an orchestra played with broken down instruments + a baby crying 1,000 hours + a million people chewing gum with their mouths open + old men burping and then vomiting = HAZEL GOES MAD
And that was exactly what she was hearing now.
You're a shooting star I see
A vision of ecstasy
When you hold me, I'm alive
We're like diamonds in the sky
Frank grunted, annoyed next to Hazel and groaned: "CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE SHUT UP? SERIOUSLY!"
"Well it's NOT ME but I'm going to kill whoever is," snapped Hazel back irritated and Frank groaned in agreement.
Nico hopped down with cotton in his ears, "I have good news and bad news...what do you want to hear?"
"THE GOOD NEWS!" Frank and Hazel shouted.
"Well, Leo fixed the bathroom, the bathtub is now sort of spa designed with bubbles, rose water and those water vibrating things that massage you," said Nico.
"Oh good mother of god, I never knew I would say this but LEO IS A LIFE SAVER!" said Frank.
"The best invention so far," said Hazel.
"The bad news," said Nico, "is that HE is the one who is currently breaking our ears and plus, he's been there for 2 hours and refuses to leave."
"Never mind what I said before," said Frank.
"If I were a man, I would go in and shut him up myself," Hazel muttered, "can NONE of you do something about it? You know...I can't exactly go in..."
"I beg your pardon?" said Nico, he still had cotton in his ears.
"I SAID!" Hazel repeated, "THAT CAN NONE OF YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT? YOU KNOW...I CAN'T GO IN MYSELF!"
"Sorry Haze," said Nico, "but I experimented and I made an expedition to the nucleus of the sound. I think I would rather go to Tartarus...it's awful, the noise level is cracking high, and cracking WORSE. So DON'T count me in."
"I agree with your brother," said Frank. "Don't count me in either."
Then, Jason and Piper came in and opened the door to the living room laughing and talking when they met the trio's glares.
"What's going on?" asked Jason.
"Did something bad happened? Did we do anything?" asked Piper.
"Did we interrupt anything?" asked Jason. These days, because of Piper and everybody's bad mood, he had to learn to joke around.
The trio glared even worse, they got up.
"WHAT'S HAPPENING?" asked Hazel. "WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH US?"
"WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THE BIGGEST MISERY AND EAR-BREAKING NIGHTMARE AND YOU JUST COME IN LAUGHING FROM LOVE-DOVE ISLAND!" said Frank and looking at their shocked faces added: "IT'S ONLY TRUE!"
"For your information," said Piper, "we just fought 100 earth warriors created by Gaia and closed one of her portals that brought more ilimited forces. We did a lot and now we want to have a bath."
Nico snorted, "SO DO WE! WE FOUGHT 300 ACID-SPITTING DUMB ROMAN EAGLES! AND WE ALL WON'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A BATH BECAUSE..."
I knew that we'd become one right away
Oh, right away
At first sight I left the energy of sun rays
I saw the life inside your eyes
So shine bright, tonight you and I
We're beautiful like diamonds in the sky
Eye to eye, so alive
We're beautiful like diamonds in the sky"
"For Jupiter's sake! What is THAT?" asked Jason horrified covering his ears, Nico handed Jason and Piper two sets of cotton and they stuck it on their ears.
"Jason, you were the Roman praetor right...?" asked Nico and immediately, everybody knew what he was doing, and they stuck along.
"Er...yeah, why are you asking?" asked Jason uncomfortably.
"Well, Jason," said Piper sweetly, "since you're the old leader, as a good one you should do a good example..."
"...and try to solve problems by yourself," said Frank.
"And we'd be REALLY grateful if the great praetor Jason Grace would do the favor of going up to shut Leo up," smiled Hazel.
"NO WAY!" Jason said. "NO, NO WAY! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"
"As much as I love you Jason," said Piper softly then grinned, "I'm really for this but it's neccessary...guys, bring the ropes and the rag."
-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- 1 hour and 20 minutes later
"I didn't know why we didn't do that earlier," Frank grinned wiped his hands satisfied, "Hazel, I feel like I love you 500 times more than I already did today."
Hazel shrugged, "Well, being the Daughter of Pluto, it's natural that I can deal with metal, that includes locks. Jason won't be able to get out of there unless Leo stops singing and when I decide."
"Annabeth would have been proud," said Nico and everybody sighed. Who knew what their friends were doing now?
"Don't say 'would have been'," said Piper, "I think they're alive, Percy is the muscle and the wall while Annabeth is the strategy and the brain. They'll make it out."
"Hopefully," everybody said.
From the bathroom, they heard for the 70th time: "NO! NO! NO-LEO, I'M BEGGING Y-!"
"오빤강남스타일
강남스타일낮에는따사로운인간적인여자
커피한잔의여유를아는품격있는여자
밤이오면심장이뜨거워지는여자
그런반전있는여자
나는사나이
낮에는너만큼따사로운그런사나이
커피식기도전에원샷때리는사나이
밤이오면심장이터져버리는사나이
그런사나이"
"Since when did Leo learn Korean?" asked Hazel and Piper shrugged.
"Who knows? Leo is a very weird person," said Piper and everybody else agreed.
"Hey, I'm hungry? Does anybody want brownies?" asked Frank. Everybody cheered in response.
"But...BINGO! We still have Aphros' BROWNIE RECIPE! And SCORE! We've got some of Ethel's PEACH PRESERVES!" said Frank getting a piece of paper and some peaches.
"Ew...Frank, that might be...not good for you. It's probably some months you haven't touched those preserves," Piper said wrinkling her nose along Hazel.
"Whatever, but I WANT SOME," said Nico and he high-fived Frank.
"Well, I'm hungry too! Let's start baking brownies!" said Hazel. Nico and Piper went off to search for ingredients while Frank and Hazel got the bowls and etc.
-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- 2 hours later
"Let's leave some for Jason and Leo," said Piper. "We aren't that mean guys."
"YUL RBRITGHT!" said Nico, his mouth full of brownies. "BRT THRIS BTROPWNIES BWAR ARMADING!"
"What?" asked Hazel. "NICO! Talking with your mouth full is bad manners, rude AND DISGUSTING!"
"Don't worry Haze," said Frank, he had now been treating Nico more as a little brother, one because he realized Nico was sorta cool and two because Nico was going to be his brother-in-law sooner or later, "it's MEN LANGUAGE."
He high-fived Nico.
"If men language is burping and talking with your mouth full," said Piper. "Then it's PIG LANGUAGE."
They laughed and Nico said, "Touche." (AN: Okay, not so much to tell you the truth)
"Hey guys, I'm sorta feeling bad for Jason," said Frank, "I mean, I don't think he's alive."
"My Hades death radar tells me the same thing," agreed Nico.
"My logical instincts say yes," nodded Hazel.
"I think we have to save him," said Piper. "Hey...I've got a plan!"
"What?" everybody asked, wrapping up the remaining brownies.
"Okay guys, what does Leo like?"
"Pranks?" offered Nico.
"Building?" asked Frank.
"Sugar?" asked Hazel and realization came towards her. "PIPER, THAT'S BRILLIANT!"
"What?" asked Nico and Frank at the same time. "We don't get it."
"Men are dense naturally," said Hazel and Piper grinned at her.
"Anyways, we can bribe Leo out of there with some brownies because he LOVES sugar and chocolate...and then the rescue crew and rescue Jason out of there."
"Great idea, 2 brownies!" said Frank. "Come on Di Angelo, we are the bribing crue!"
"And we're the rescue crew, behind you!" said Piper.
Frank and Nico gulped and went to the deadly bathroom.
"EASY COME ,EASY GO,
THAT'S JUST HOW YOU LIVE, OH
TAKE, TAKE, TAKE IT ALL
THAT'S JUST HOW YOU LIVE,
SHOULD-"
"GOOD MOTHER OF GOD! I'M SORRY BUT I CAN'T ANYMORE!" Nico dashed as far away as fast as his legs could run.
"SORRY PIPER!" said Hazel.
"I'm going to say, BYE PIPES!" said Frank running off with Hazel and at the end, Piper couldn't resist the noise and ran off.
The 4 panted in the living room.
"My brain tells me my ears exploded," said Nico.
"My brain tells me I'm pretty much deaf," said Hazel.
"OK," said Piper. "We need a NEW PLAN."
"I've got an idea!" said Frank, "I need to know...an animal that can't hear! Maybe I could deliver the brownies near the door and not hear anything!"
"If Annabeth were here, or Percy maybe...there might have been an aquatic animal," said Nico and they all sighed. Nico was near tears, he was really close to them. They missed them so much.
"I know that snakes can't hear," said Hazel.
"But I wouldn't be able to carry any brownies," said Frank.
"Lots of invertebrates are deaf," said Hazel.
"A fish?" asked Frank smiling innocently and Hazel rolled her eyes.
"FRANK! THERE'S NO WATER HERE!" said Hazel. "Plus, a fish has bones!"
"I was just kidding Ghost Girl," said Frank smiling and kissing Hazel.
Nico muttered something about lovesick teens these days and then said, "Okay, we need a plan, Frank can't turn into a snake, earthworm or centipede."
"Maybe we could build a long, LONG fishing rod and aim it right in front of the bathroom door," said Piper.
"Or we could go inside as fast as we can and punch everything out of Leo!" suggested Nico.
"The violent and angry Hazel says yes," Hazel said. "But the good Hazel says no."
"Then your answer is yes since the main portion of you is the violent and angry Hazel," smiled Frank and Hazel rolled her eyes.
"Let's just go inside and get Jason out first," said Piper concerned.
"FINE, all right, on the count of 3," said Nico.
"3!" shouted Frank and they dashed quickly as Leo sang LOUDER AND LOUDER until Hazel opened the door with a click and they dragged Jason out of the bathroom and they threw themselves in the living room.
"Oh whoa
Oh whoa
Oh whoa You know you love me, I know you care Are we an item? Girl, quit playing Baby, baby, baby oooh
Just shout whenever, and I'll be there
You are my love, you are my heart
And we will never ever ever be apart
We're just friends, what are you saying?
Say there's another and look right in my eyes
My first love broke my heart for the first time
And I was like...
Like baby, baby, baby nooo
Like baby, baby, baby oooh
I thought you'd always be mine ."
"OH GOSH," said Nico. "That was-that was WILD."
"We have to heal Jason!" said Piper, looking at her unconscious and extremely pale boyfriend. "We've got to do something."
"The good news is that he is alive," said Nico, Piper slapped him.
"It's not TIME for joking! Just look at his state!"
"All right," said Hazel, "Nico, go with Frank and put the brownies in the place, I'll help Piper to heal Jason."
"AWW, PLEASE!" the boys said.
"GO!" said Hazel. She felt even more dirty than before and needed a bath, URGENTLY.
The boys sighed and went to the bathroom to try to bribe out Leo, while he still showered and sang worse and louder, oblivious to their angry cries.
Hazel felt horrible, she was hurt, burned, dirty, sick, angry with the boys, annoyed and irritated from Leo and was currently hearing Piper fretting like a lovesick girl on Jason. Obviously she had to worry, Piper was his girlfriend but still. Her cries were another thing added to Hazel's Annoyance List.
"Here, these leaves ought to do," said Hazel as she stuffed some of the leaves into Jason's mouth roughly.
"Not so harshly! Slowly," said Piper as she were the healer and Hazel rolled her eyes.
"FINE, you do it. I'll go check on Frank and Nico," Hazel said and went to the kitchen where Frank was putting a bit of ice on Nico's ears.
"Nico was unconscious," explained Frank, "the sound level was awful."
"I see that," said Hazel. "Frank, I think I've got a plan to stop Leo."
"And what is that?" asked Frank.
"I need you to turn into a snake, wrap around my ears and I'll go up!" said Hazel.
"So I'll be a hat?" asked Frank.
"At least the cutest hat I've ever worn," smiled Hazel and they kissed.
"RIGHT," said Piper smiling as she entered leaning against Jason, "if you can stop kissing we might discuss our plan?"
Hazel blushed, embarassed, "We already have a plan, but we need as many hands. Nico goes and opens the door, Frank turns into a snake and wraps around me. I go up as quickly as I can to the drop the brownie. Leo smells it and comes out. Piper smacks him and Jason electrocutes him. Then we take some baths."
"Well," said Jason, "I LOVE that plan!"
"Me too!" said Piper. "Slapping Leo is my favorite sport of all! It's fun and it exercises your hand muscles."
"So I have to be the LAME doorman?" asked Nico.
"YES NICO, now...we're going to start!" said Hazel. She suddenly felt important, she had created a plan! And, this was the best fun Hazel had since the journey, SO FAR.
Frank turned into a snake, wrapped around Hazel's warm and fuzzy mess of curls (which Frank liked to sleep in) and everybody went to their positions.
Nico, Piper and Jason went up and after a CACAW signal, Hazel went up with the brownies, Nico opened the door and Hazel put the brownies.
Leo came out, he was bare-chested and bare-foot, he wasn't wearing anything but his hands were tightened against a towel which was covering from his hips and down.
Leo loved sugar and caffeine, one day back at Camp Half-Blood when they were building the Argo 2, Leo had drank 5 cups of coffee and 15 bars of chocolate and he was running around shouting random things and only dressed in his boxers.
It made him crazy.
Leo's brain OBVIOUSLY wasn't thinking very well, except the fact that there were 2 huge, delicious brownies in front of him, full of sugar. Leo's brain sent a command:
GET THE BROWNIES! EAT THEM!
Leo's hand went and reached for the brownies, UNFORTUNATELY, the towel fell.
"OH FOR MY BLOODY, COLD STEPMOTHER," said Nico covering his eyes and rubbing them, "MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!"
"EW!" the girls said.
"LEO, WEAR SOMETHING!" said Hazel still covering them. "That's DISGUSTING!"
"MY EYES AND EARS, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?" cried Piper dragging herself and Hazel out of that place.
"Er...dude, that's sort of wrong, you just well, you just..." Frank was trying to tell Leo what had really disgusted the girls and he looked at Jason as if to say:
Are all Greeks so careless? Geez. They can't even stay with their pants on!
"Leo, I'll get something for you to wear, AND A BUCKET," said Jason looking a bit green and uncomfortable as he dashed out and looked for some clothes and a bucket. Leo followed him, with a towel of course nd
Frank sighed and looked, fortunately, the bathroom was clean and he stepped in and sighed. He could already feel the fresh water running through his dirty, cow-poop filled body.
He sighed and shook his head as he closed the door, SO MUCH for a bathroom.
Frank went into the shower and turned it on, the water rushed through him like rain and all the grim and oil washed off. Then...he felt weird, as if his body had been filled by something warm-not as warm as when he met Hazel-and then, without wanting to do it:
"Yeah, yeah Ah... Girl look at that body [x3] When I walk in the spot (yeah), this is what I see (ok) I'm sexy and I know it
When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he fly
I pimp to the beat, walking on the street in my new lafreak, yeah
This is how I roll, animal print, pants outta control,
It's Redfoo with the big afro
And like Bruce Leroy I got the glow
Ah... I work out
Ah... Girl look at that body [x3]
Ah... I work out
Everybody stops and they staring at me
I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it
I'm sexy and I know it."
Downstairs, everybody groaned, except Leo who was humming happily as he was now dressed warmly and eating his brownies with Ethel's peach preserves.
"Oh bloody hell, here we go AGAIN," muttered Nico.