Spock was trying to teach Jim Kirk how to do a mind meld. The lessons weren't going well. He pushed Jim's fingers away from his face and rubbed his own forehead.

"What?" Jim asked. "What did I do wrong this time?"

"You must learn to still your mind. We can accomplish nothing until you do."

"Spock, I'm trying! I don't know how to do it!" Spock wondered which of them was more frustrated; himself, trying repeatedly to teach his friend what to him was second nature, or Jim, who couldn't seem to master even the most rudimentary of telepathic skills. T' Pela had said that because he and Jim were soul mates, Jim would be able to learn. Spock was beginning to think that perhaps T' Pela had overestimated Jim's abilities.

Spock blew out a breath and looked at his friend. "I have been trying to teach you how to do it. It is a simple process."

"Not for me it isn't! I'm human, remember? I wasn't born knowing how to do this. What do you want from me?"

"I want you to learn to still your racing thoughts. Being inside your mind is like being inside a tornado. Ideas, thoughts, feelings, all rushing around at warp speed. It is giving me a headache." Spock got up from the couch and went to the french doors which opened to the veranda of Jim's apartment. Once outside, he took a deep breath and let the cool, damp breeze flow over him. He was disappointed in himself for losing patience with Jim, but the man could be unbelievably frustrating at times. Jim had a genius-level intellect, but his mind was undisciplined. He was impatient, impulsive and reckless. He wanted everything right now, and resisted taking the time and proper steps to really learn something.

Spock took a few more cleansing breaths and worked to dispell the frustration he felt. He very much disliked feeling anything negative toward Jim. The man was his best friend and his soul mate. He loved him unconditionally. Unfortunately that love did not preclude getting frustrated or down right angry with him.

He turned and went back inside. Jim was still sitting on the couch, staring at the carpet, seeming to ignore Spock's return to the room. Spock stood waiting for his friend to speak. Finally Jim looked up at him.

"What the fuck good does it do to be soul mates if we can't even communicate? I thought this bonding was gonna make things better for us. Seems to me like it's just making it worse."

Spock sat down beside his friend. "Jim, I know this is incredibly frustrating for you as well. But while we are having problems with the mind meld, we do not have trouble communicating. It is only in this single area that we are experiencing difficulty."

"But this is the most important area. If I'm your soul mate, and you're mine, shouldn't it be easier for us to do this?"

"Not necessarily. As I have stated before, if you were Vulcan..."

"But I'm not! I'm just a head-blind human. Inferior to you, obviously..."

"I have never said that you are inferior. You are making this more difficult with your negative attitude."

"Fuck. Maybe I shoulda died for real this time."

Spock was rendered speechless. He could not believe Jim would say such a thing. Too quickly for him to get a grip on it, his frustration turned to anger. If Jim thought he would sit here and listen to such nonsense, he would have to think again. He got up from the couch and started toward the kitchen.

"Spock, wait! I'm sorry, I don't mean that. Spock, come on, don't leave!"

Spock grabbed his jacket off the back of a chair in the kitchen. He shot Jim a glare that could have melted metal, and walked out the door.

xxxxx

"Shit! God fuckin' dammit!" Jim swore. He wanted to punch something, throw something. "Pointy-eared motherfucker!" All the frustration that had been building over the last few days mutated at warp speed into a blazing anger. He was shaking, his heart was racing and he felt light-headed. Having nothing at which to direct the rage made it worse. Back in the day a man who was this pissed off could punch a hole in a wall. That didn't work in this century. He'd have broken his hand. "Fuck this, I'm outta here." He wasn't supposed to over exert himself, but right now that was the last thing on his mind. He snatched his jacket from the chair he'd tossed it onto when he came in, and followed Spock out the door.

He didn't know where he was going. He just knew he had to get out of the apartment, had to do something. Walk, run, go to the gym and beat the crap out of a punching bag. He had to find a release for this anger and frustration. He stepped out of the turbo lift and headed across the lobby to the street. The fog was holding on today and the wind was chilly. He flipped his collar up and started walking.

xxxxx

Spock was walking too, but in a different direction. At this point, for him, the anger had dissipated to the point where he was just annoyed. And puzzled. Was he really expecting too much of his Human friend? Establishing a mind meld was second nature to him, but it wasn't for Jim. That, however, was not what had caused him to leave. It was the comment about dying 'for real this time'. After everything they had been through in the past few months, those were the last words he expected to come out of Jim's mouth. Jim said he didn't mean it. If that were true, why did he say the words? After a few minutes of reflection he recalled that Humans had an annoying proclivity to say things they did not mean. It defied logic. Why say something you do not mean? He answered his own question almost immediately. It is because Humans sometimes do not know what they mean. Spock found it difficult to imagine living with such an unordered mind. He considered it a great disadvantage to live in a constant state of mental chaos. But then, Humans were accustomed to the chaos. He had to give them credit for that. Such a mental state would drive him mad, and very quickly.

He arrived at the transport station and caught a shuttle to Alameda. There, he would take another shuttle to space dock. May as well go back to work on the refit. Jim needed a break from his lessons, before the two of them ended up in a fist fight.

xxxxx

Jim decided on the punching bag and a workout with weights. He was fully prepared to push himself past his limits, but reason and better judgement won out. He knew it would be worse than stupid to overdo it and make himself sick, just because he was in a bad mood. He took it fairly easy, keeping the boxing session short and not going too heavy on the weights. The physical activity helped to calm him down, and by the time he'd worked up a good sweat, showered, changed and left the gym, he was feeling much more in control. He decided to give McCoy a call and see if he was up for dinner and a drink or two. McCoy took him up on his offer, and now the two were in a booth at one of their usual hangouts, waiting for burgers and sipping beer.

"So where's your pointy eared sidekick tonight?" Bones asked.

"I don't know. I haven't seen him since late this morning."

"What, you guys have a lover's quarrel?"

"Bones, don't go there. I'm really not in the mood to talk about Spock right now. And we aren't lovers. We're soul mates. There's a difference."

"Whatever you say. I know more than I want to about that anyway." Bones took a long drink of his beer. "I seem to recall you sayin' Spock was gonna teach you how to do a mind meld. How's that workin' out?"

"It's not. And I told you, I don't want to talk about Spock." Jim picked up his glass and took a sip. "Actually, that's why I don't know where he is. We were working on the mind meld thing this morning. We pushed it too far, I said something stupid and insensitive, and he took off. I haven't heard from him since."

"What did you say that made him leave?"

Jim sighed. "I was really frustrated at not being able to nail this mind meld thing. Spock says it shouldn't be impossible for me to do it, because of our connection, but I'm just not getting it. And of course I'm being an asshole about it, because you know me, I can't just discuss it rationally. So I made the comment that maybe I should have died for real this time." Jim waited for the bomb to drop.

"Oh for God's sake Jim! I'd have walked out on you too. Do you have any idea how ungrateful that sounds?"

"Yes, Bones, I do! I knew as soon as I said it that I had seriously screwed up. I tried to apologize but he wasn't having it. He left, and I don't blame him. I know he'll come back, but that's not the point. I was so pissed off that he left, I thought I was gonna have a stroke. I bet if you'd taken my blood pressure right then you'd have put me in the hospital. Anyway, I went to the gym, and yes, I took it easy. The workout helped. I got over being angry. Now I'm ashamed of myself for being so insensitive."

Just then the food arrived. Jim had half expected not to have an appetite, but once he caught the aroma of the cheeseburger and fries, his stomach growled and he realized he hadn't eaten since this morning and was ravenous. The burger was perfectly cooked, juicy, and delicious. It featured everything a good burger had to have; onions, kosher pickle, lettuce, tomato. The fries were damn good too. He looked up at McCoy. The doctor seemed to concur with his assessment of the meal.

"Jeez, I was starving," Jim said between bites. "I haven't eaten since this morning."

"Don't do that. Skip meals, I mean. Bad for ya. Damn this burger is good."

"Isn't it? I can't eat stuff like this in front of Spock. Well, I can, he says he doesn't mind, but I don't believe him."

McCoy swallowed. "Well then what do you eat? Somehow I can't picture you becoming a vegetarian."

"No, that's not gonna happen. I can get away with seafood when I'm with him. To be honest, a lot of what he eats is pretty good, and nutritionally balanced too. You don't have to eat meat to get enough protein."

McCoy had a mouthful, so he merely nodded. They quit talking and gave their full attention to their meals. When they were down to nibbling the last of the fries, McCoy spoke.

"So you just gonna wait for Spock to show up or call? Or are you gonna go track him down?"

"I've called him a few times but he doesn't answer. I left a few messages. He'll come back when he's ready."

"I'm surprised you haven't paid a visit to the Enterprise."

"You told me I couldn't do that! You told me to stay home and rest."

"I did, but I didn't think you'd listen. Maybe the hobgoblin is rubbing off on you."

I wish he'd stop calling him that. "He says I'm rubbing off on him."

"Well, you can go visit the ship. I hereby release you from that limitation."

"Thanks. I'd love to go see her. You ready to get outta here?"

"Yeah. Thanks for dinner."

"No problem."