Summary: The one in which Alec and James are together, and James cheats with Q.

Warnings: M/M, there will be sex in following chapters!

A/N: I thought I was going to go with happy Bond/Q next, but I guess not. The puppies and rainbows will have to stay in the box for now.

Q knew it was wrong to lust after James. So, so wrong. James and Alec were practically married. When both were at MI6 at the same time they were inseparable. Of course, they were discreet at work. They never touched, never held hands. But everyone knew. It was obvious in the way their eyes met, and in the way James smiled. It had a devious little hint to it, and Q was insanely jealous every time those lips curved up for Alec. Not like he saw them together frequently. In fact, he and the two agents were more like cordial strangers.

Q had taken to imagining what they were like in bed together. Who would be the one on top? Both were so aggressive, maybe they alternated? The thought caused his body to stir, arousal awakening with a slow burn in his belly as he reclined against his pillows. Though they were both beautiful, it was James that Q was slowly becoming obsessed with. He thought about the powerful body being revealed as Alec's hands slowly undressed James. His suits were cut so well that he could conjure up the outline of James' form with vivid accuracy, and his eager mind filled in the rest of the blanks.

He pictured their coupling. Sometimes it was quick and rough, all teeth and fight and dominance. And sometimes it was tender, and sweet, and only loving caresses. Q liked that the best, imagining Bond's lips feather light against his temple or along his jaw. He was sure Bond was a very giving lover. As he imagined Bond's lips traveling down further, swallowing him whole, sucking gently while his fingers worked inside, Q came hard in his hand. He wondered how happy they were. That was not a good line of thought. A terrible thought. Yet, he mulled it over anyway.

Q never believed anything would really happen. He was aloof and professional as ever at work, and wanked to the thought of two coworkers at night. Nothing abnormal about that. When he interacted with James (and Alec, whom he was rarely separated from), he stuck to the facts and nothing more. He didn't think he could trust himself to improvise anything witty, lest he give himself away.

The two were scheduled to return from their joint mission later that day, and Q made an effort not to wait around for the pair to check in. He certainly had enough to keep himself busy. He was tinkering with the insides of a watch when he heard the doors to Q-branch slide open and a bawdy laughter hit his ears.

"And then M about turned red when you told him where you hid that bullet!" Alec's voice rang out in the quiet, and Q looked up in time to see James teeth flash in a rare and open smile.

"Q," James said nodding as they approached, obviously in a good mood. Q nodded in response, absently taking in their well dressed, if not slightly banged up, appearance. The two of them began emptying their pockets and a satchel that James had brought, leaving a small pile of what appeared to be little bits of broken tech in front of the quartermaster. Q poked at it, a bit distastefully.

"And what's all this?"

"Well-" began Alec, but Q waved his soldering iron immediately to cut him off.

"Nevermind. Don't bother." Alec frowned a bit, and Q tried not to notice James' eyes trace Alec's expression. Q returned his attention to the watch. "You can go now."

"What, no speech to tell us to be careful with government property this time?" James teased. Q was certain he was attempting to get a reaction out of him. He adjusted the heat settings on the iron to avoid looking up into the playful blue eyes.

"Why bother? You two numbskulls will just do it again and try to pout your way out of it next time."

"I don't pout," Alec said, and Q could hear the slight sulk in his voice.

"You do, just a little," James replied. Their laughter was light, but Q didn't feel like joining in.

"Q, you need to lighten up a little." Alec's voice was bright again.

"I'm just fine, thanks for your input." Q finished his join, set down the iron, and removed his protective gloves. He squinted at the two of them from behind his safety goggles. James was leaning back against a desk, one hip pushed out distractingly, eyes trained on Alec's back. Alec was fiddling with the remains of something that was once metal and whole.

"I've got this friend…" Alec said, flipping the piece of metal up and catching it with the same hand. He glanced up to gauge Q's reaction, then swallowed upon seeing the look he was receiving. Q pushed up the safety goggles so they were resting on top of his head, pinning his wavy locks back, his expression both disinterested and annoyed at the same time.

"And you think I'm the kind of person who would like to be set up on a blind date?" Q's voice was dripping with irritation, and he could see a slight smirk on Bond's lips from behind Alec.

Alec set down the metal piece on the table. "Well, alright then. But he's blonde and gorgeous. Your loss."

Q pulled his safety goggles back over his glasses, and re-donned the orange gloves. "Not my thing. Buzz off, you two." He hunched down over the watch once more.

Q watched from the corner of his vision as Alec gave James an indiscernible look and they both turned on their heels to exit. When the doors slid shut he let out his breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Seeing the two of them happy wasn't pleasant. It made him feel uncomfortable and guilty. And the last thing he wanted was to be set up with one of Alec's friends. The thought of seeing them socially, seeing James and Alec together and happy, seeing them kiss… Well, part of him had a sick interest in seeing that. He shook his head to refocus, then hunkered down to the task at hand once more.

The following day James was sitting on a chair in front of Q, shirt sleeves rolled up, a monitor strapped to his fingertip.

"This shouldn't hurt," Q said as he looked down at the program running across his tablet.

"Words I'm always fond of hearing," Bond quipped. Q scrunched his brow in annoyance and tapped on the screen, double checking the settings.

"We need to get some baseline heart rate data first." He swallowed, knowing what was coming next. "Unbutton your shirt, please."

Q noticed James' eyebrow move upward slightly, but the agent said nothing. He brought his hands up to loosen the tie, slightly encumbered by the fingertip monitor. Q watched the knot loosen and the first button come undone before flicking upward to glance at James' expression. The icy blue eyes met his own and he felt heat flash through his cheeks. James wasn't a mind reader. He hoped to God he wasn't. Or he would be fucked. And possibly have Alec beat the shit out of him. James finally finished and rested his hands on his legs, looking up expectantly.

Q cleared his throat and then grabbed an electrode off the table. Moving forward with a surety he did not feel by any stretch, he grasped the shirt and pulled it to the side, revealing the skin beneath. Q saw the outline of the scar on James' left pectoral, peeking out from the fabric, and the light dusting of hair covering his chest. His eyes traced over the well-defined abdominal muscles movement with each breath, and when he felt James' breath against his cheek he stiffened, suddenly aware that he wasn't moving. He hastily pressed the electrode to the flesh and pulled away. James shifted on the chair.

Q put on the second electrode much quicker and drew his hands back swiftly, as if he had touched fire. He was infinitely glad he was not the one hooked up to a heart rate monitor. He sat back on his own chair and grabbed the watch from yesterday that was on the table, his hair slipping over his eyes.

"Put this on. Left wrist, please." Q held the watch out, feeling awkward and unsure of where to look. James reached to take it, and when their fingertips met for the briefest moment, Q looked down at them and then glanced away. He bit at his lip and grabbed up his tablet, punching at it sharply.

"Just a moment for it to sync up, now." Feeling James' gaze, Q flipped through some menus on the screen so he wouldn't look up. The silence stretched out between them. James was certainly more reticent now that he wasn't playing off of Alec's humor. Q heard James shift once more and he kept his eyes glued to the screen.

"Blonde and gorgeous isn't your type?"

Q blinked, hardly believing what he'd just heard.

"Excuse me?" He looked up from the screen and his eyes locked with James'. The agent's expression was unreadable.

"What's wrong with blonde and gorgeous?" James' eyes were serious, and his heart rate remained steady on the screen while Q's shot up to the roof with nervousness. How the hell was he supposed to reply to that? How could James say that with such an impassive face?

"I told Alec that blind dates weren't my thing," Q deflected, his fingers clutching the tablet tightly.

"Mmm, I see." James' low rumble and full lips were starting to do funny things to Q's stomach. "So what is your thing?"

Q felt uncertainty and confusion well up; it was an incredibly unsettling and unfamiliar feeling. What was James getting at? Mercifully the tablet and watch beeped at the same time before he had to answer.

"The sync's done. I'll need you to keep this on for twenty-four hours and bring it back tomorrow so I can analyze your heart rate data as recorded by the watch." Q's voice was even and detached, and he concentrated on keeping his hands steady as he removed the electrodes and grasped James' hand to detach the monitor.

"Wear it everywhere, yes? What about in the shower?" It was a perfectly reasonable question, but it made Q's stomach flip.

"It's water-proof. Leave it on to shower." He dropped the hand and it fell to James' lap with a soft thud. He was notthinking about James in the shower. Not now, anyway. Q curled up the wires in his fingers, meeting James' gaze again.

"And, 007?"

"Yes, Q?"

"Bring it back in one piece, for fuck's sake. It's only twenty-four hours."

"I didn't know you had such a mouth on you, pup."

Q bit back a reply, gathered up his supplies and swept out of the room, fear and desire warring in his chest. Flirting with James was a bad, bad idea. If you could call those few clipped words flirting. It meant nothing. Absolutely nothing. Q said that to himself enough times that he almost convinced himself of that fact.

As he lay curled in bed that night he checked Bond's heart rate monitor one last time to ensure it was still functioning properly. Scrolling through the data, he noticed a half hour spike around midnight. If it had been earlier in the day he could chalk it up to gym time, but he knew exactly what Bond was doing for those thirty minutes. And James knew he knew it too. Q felt a thick coil of guilt and nerves knot in his stomach as he anticipated tomorrow's conversation. Sleep eluded him and the guilt simmered.