Eren's vision of his future in the Scouting Legion included titan slaying, saving lives, making progress for the mankind and being well respected. A little glory did no one any harm, right?

He cursed this course of events. Why did he have to end up here? He didn't sign up for this.
For the fifth time today Erwin had "casually" brushed past him. A hand pressing against his lower back, breath ghosting against his face, a little squeeze. All carefully hidden behind a reassuring smile. No one would say anything, if they would, it would be just the human-sunshine named Erwin making sure their pet-titan was well accommodated.

Eren was sure that this was not the case. The worst was that he couldn't even really call the other out on it. But he was on the brink of doing that when Erwin slapped his backside casually while walking up the stairs and passing him, causing the boy to whip around, eyes large as saucers.

"What?" And a raised eyebrow, the picture of nonchalance, was all he got in response.

Then there were hands ruffling his hair, which seemed like a gesture friendly enough, except for the blunt fingernails grazing ever so slightly against the nape of his neck, sending shivers down his spine, before fingertips brushed against the side of his jaw. All in one smooth motion. No one else would think much of it.

Only Eren and Erwin knew what was going on. Scratch that, Eren had no idea what was going on. Was the older man really… hitting on him? Was he just touchy feely? He couldn't tell Mikasa, she'd go on a rampage and Eren had a nagging feeling that Armin nursed a crushed on Erwin.

"Fuck my life…" he muttered under his breath as he saw Erwin approaching after a day of successfully avoiding him. There was no one else around.

"Oh, Eren, Levi's looking for you. You've got some cleaning to do." The blond positively beamed.

"Your straps are all wonky, here, I'll fix them for you."

Eren stiffened as large hands smoothed down the leather straps around his torso. Erwin fiddled with a buckle and the younger boy really didn't understand what was wrong with it, until he felt fingers repeatedly and deliberately brushing against one of his nipples.

The boy choked on air and stepped back. "Y-yeah, thanks, I'll… go and… yeah, cleaning. Levi. Everything's gotta sparkle before he throws a fit. Bye."

If only it would actually end with Erwin being creepily touchy-feely. But no, Eren was simply out of luck. In a way, Hanji was even worse. He couldn't even begin to count the times he had choked on his dinner because of her extremely inappropriate questions. Often of sexual nature.

"Say, can I measure your body temperature while you masturbate?"

"And perhaps collect a sperm sample?"

"All for science, of course."

And it seemed like she didn't even understand how inappropriate she was being, because when met with stunned silence from Eren she'd pout and say something about how unfriendly he was being.

It even went as far as her intruding his private space. He had almost pissed all over himself once when catching a glimpse of her face while in the bathroom, casually leaning over a cubicle door (not even toilet cubicles were safe anymore, they were so great for hiding from Erwin).

"What if you really need to go while in your titan form?"

She had retreated after Eren's high-pitched shriek though, thankfully. Only to pop up seconds later while he was washing his hands.

"I have a grand idea. We'll make you drink 2 liters of water and then wait for a few hours and make you shift, ok?"

That wasn't even a question, she was already pulling him by his arm towards his miserable future that might or might not include public embarrassment.

Hanji Zoe was not normal. She was absolutely insane. There was no way back for her. Eren fully realized that after having to jack off into a plastic cup. She had really gotten him to do it with the simple words "I'll have to tell Erwin you're holding back our research". They were all in on it. Eren was doomed.

Levi wasn't any better. He was able to combine humiliating harassment along with physical strain. Sweat was trickling down Eren's forehead as he scrubbed the same patch of stone stairs for what seemed to be already the third hour.

His knees hurt so bad he wasn't far from biting back tears. Levi was making him crawl around the place. Apparently Eren was so bad at cleaning that his eyesight must be bad, therefore he was to walk on all fours all the time he was cleaning so he'd be closer to the floor and would see where to clean.

"You missed a spot."

Levi's boot nudged him in the side, not softly at all. By now he had learnt to just deal with it and not talk back.

"Ahead of you."

This time Levi's heel pressed against his ass, nearly causing him to topple forwards and it was nearly too much for the boy who was ready to leap to his feet, dump the bucket of soapy water on him and run for his life.

But the crawling and the boot-nudging every now and then wasn't the worst about this. It was the staring. Eren could feel the Corporal's eyes burning holes in him. He might as well have been naked because it felt like he was being undressed right this moment.

"I think I figured it out why you're so bad at cleaning. Stand up."

Eren looked up to see Levi standing to his left, a bucket of clean, soapy water in his hand. The boy got up slowly, wincing as his knees made a popping sound as his joints returned to a more comfortable position.

"And what is it?" He asked hesitantly, suddenly feeling rather nervous and unconsciously fiddling with the straps around his thighs.

"You're dirty." Eren could swear that for a millisecond he saw the most feral smirk on Levi's face. The whole bucket of water was dumped on him. His clothes immediately stuck to him like a second skin.

They both knew who was the dirty one here. Levi was nearly as lewd as Erwin.

"Back to scrubbing you go."

Eren could only sigh, grit his teeth and drop on his knees, scrubbing around the other man's boots. The water was starting to get cold already.
If he felt naked before then this was even worse.
Scouting Legion was the worst.

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