A/N:Hey, guys. It's been a really long time since I updated this - two years! Please allow me to explain. Since the last update, I actually stopped watching the show, so I stopped producing content for it. That said, the next few passages were written back when I was still watching. For some reason, I never uploaded them. These parts were supposed to be uploaded separately, but I'm uploading them in one block just because it's more of a dump (for lack of a better term) than a true update - I just kind of wanted to get these out there since I realised I never uploaded them.

Please be aware that these were written literally years ago, and I've grown considerably as a writer since then (I hope), so my style has changed a lot. They're also not properly proofread, as again, this is more of a dump than a real update. It's obvious to me looking at them now that I was running out of steam as I wrote them, haha, so it's not much of a conclusion - but it's probably as much of a conclusion as this story will get, unfortunately.

Thanks so much to everyone who has read and (hopefully) enjoyed this story. Thanks especially to user "ghjrfvfcenhe" for translating this story in to Russian (which you can read here: /readfic/977586) and for reminding me that this story exists!

I hope you guys enjoy this final chapter.

Saturday, March 4, 1989

School was great today. The town we're in right now is having some dorky "heroes" celebration, so all the classes have been working on little "my hero" projects for the special assembly thing. Each class had to choose a couple of reps to go up and present a speech on their hero. My class decided it would be a good idea to pick me for one of the reps, a choice that I didn't particularly agree with but whatever, I'll be out of here soon. I was happy (but not surprised) because it turns out Sammy's class picked him. It went from the youngest up so his little kinder class had a couple of little kids toddle up to the mic and mumble about their parents or favorite actors and things. I wasn't sure who Sammy would write about; maybe Dad or some science person or something. I never thought it would be me. But it was, and I guess the surprise showed on my face. Sam actually went, "My hero is my big brother Dean. He's right there, see? He got picked too, cos he's really smart and great at everything." He pointed at me and I must have gone red because everyone laughed and aww'd and stuff. I think I remember his whole speech because I was really touched. And I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that my little brother thought I was worthy of actually being his hero. I'm not worth that, but it means the world that Sammy thinks I am. His presentation was great, though; he's a great speaker and everyone clapped a lot. It was also amazing when I gave my presentation. Amazing to see Sammy, that is. I was gonna write about Dad, but I wound up changing it. I guess I just don't have as much faith in Dad now. So I wrote about Sammy. I think I'll glue in my speech here, actually, and I'll ask Sam for his so I can glue that in too. I'll also probably add some notes about what happened during the speech. But you should have seen his face, and you should have heard the crowd when they realized we wrote about each other. It was the best thing. And afterwards, in front of basically half the town, Sammy actually ran up to me as I finished my speech and threw himself into my arms. Totally unorthodox, but worth it. The crowd loved it, anyway.

Hero speech [Mine. Me, Dean.]

My hero isn't someone famous, or someone who made an important discovery. My hero isn't even my dad, even though he has a really important job and helps a lot of people. [Sam looked very surprised here.] My hero is my little brother Sam. [Oh, man, you should have seen his face!] Sam is about four years younger than me. He's short and skinny, but he makes up for it with his long hair and big heart. Normally we have a rule against chick flick moments, but I'm gonna break it today, because Sam deserves to hear what I have to say. [The crowd looked pretty interested and Sam was leaning forward so much I thought he was gonna fall off his chair. I was also a little tiny bit choked up because of his speech but whatever.] Sam is the only person who is always there for me. We only have our dad, and he is away a lot on business. Sammy and I take care of each other. When I'm not feeling good, or I'm angry or sad or something, Sam is there for me. Even if I'm mean because I'm irritated or something, he's still there. He cares about me, and he shows it. I care about him, too. There isn't anything or anyone in the world that I care about more. We'd do anything for each other. When- [I had to stop and compose myself here because I don't like sharing my personal life normally but it just seemed different today] When it was my birthday and Dad was away, Sam organised a party for me and gave me presents he made himself. When it was Halloween, he shared his candy with me even though he didn't have to. When Dad gets angry with him, Sam doesn't scream or cry, he comes to me, because he knows I'll take care of him. When Dad gets angry with me, Sam comes to me again, because he knows he's the only one who can comfort me. I don't know what I'd do without him, really. He's always been my rock. He's the only thing that keeps me stable when I'm flying off the handle. And I love him more than anything. [Here I improvised a bit:] Hear me, Sammy? I love you. I'm not gonna say it again, bro. [Cheering, cheering, Sammy jumps up and hurls himself at me. I nearly fell over but it was totally worth it.]

My hero, Dean (my big brother) [Obviously Sammy's.]

My hero is my big brother Dean. ["He's right there, see?" Sam pointed at me. "He got picked too, cos he's really smart and great at everything."] My big brother Dean is really smart, and he's great at everything. [Sammy paused and looked up, all embarrassed, and he mumbled, "Oops. I said that already." Cue laugh. Except from me, I was trying not to let my tears spill over. Wow, I sound like a crybaby. I'm not, it's just cos I happen to write down stuff that makes me cry. It doesn't happen that often, I swear.] Dean takes care of me when Daddy is away. Mommy was taken away in a big fire when we were little so all we have is me and Dean and Daddy. We go all over the country because Daddy travels a lot for his work. He is away a lot so Dean takes care of me. He does a really good job because he's the best big brother in the world! He reads me comic books and does noises and stuff, like [Sam makes explosion noises] and he pretends to be Superman! Even though he doesn't really have to pretend to be Superman because he is Superman. Dean says that Daddy is Superman but I don't think so, I think it is Dean, because Superman always looks after people and saves people and does good things and can do everything and that is Dean too. And Dean cares about me. Even though he doesn't ever say it because of our rule that is no chick flick moments. I care about him too. And we don't really have to say it because we know already so it's okay. Dean always spends his own money and stuff on me and on dinner and things even though that means he doesn't really get to buy stuff he likes, like the weird magazines with gross pictures. [Why did you have to say that, Sammy?! I went so red here.] But he saves all his money so he can buy me presents on my birthday and Christmas and stuff. He always says sorry that Daddy isn't around but that's okay because I have Dean. Dean is my hero, not just because he is Superman and helps people but because he looks after me and cares about me and I know he's always gonna be there for me.

Friday, November 3, 1995

I swear every time I go to completely repack my bag this thing turns up. Well, I guess I might as well start trying to keep it again, especially since stuff's been happening. I got back from Sonny's a little while ago. It's sort of a boy's home where you work on a farm. It was better than rehab. Or jail. See, I lost the money Dad had given us for food, so I went to steal some food for Sammy and myself. Oh, also, in case you can't do maths (you're a damn book. What am I saying?) I'm 16, Sammy's 12, yada yada yada… Anyway, I got caught and the police sent me up to Sonny's. It was pretty bad at first, especially when they called Dad and he said to just leave me to rot in jail. That wasn't a nice thing to hear but honestly, he was probably right. I shouldn't have lost that money, it was stupid and Sam was so hungry for ages… Anyway, Sonny was pretty great and the farm wasn't so bad. I even met… That doesn't matter, this is supposed to be about Sam. Dad fetched me back (at the worst possible time, I might as well put that down) and Sonny said I could stay, but when I saw Sammy hanging out the window, waiting for me, playing with that stupid plane I bought him years ago, I knew I couldn't stay. Not even for Robin. So I left, and Dad shouted all the way home. Not because I was stealing, we do that all the time. Just that I lost the money, and I got caught, and I didn't take care of Sammy like I was meant to. By the time we got home, I was wishing he'd just taken the gun and beaten me up with it. That probably would have been nicer. I was so angry, and I don't even know what I was angry at, that I just stormed out of the car and walked to the door which was pretty damn stupid because I didn't have the key (and anyway, it was a one-room motel) so Dad came up and yelled even more because I was being insolent and all that shit. Honestly, I didn't need to hear it again. I'd already heard it from myself. So he was going on and on about how he should have just left me there and how worthless I was and I was just pretending like this was the first time I'd heard it, head down, when suddenly this little brown mop appears under me and he's got his hands on his hips and he's shouting up at Dad, who's about three times taller than him. And Sammy's yelling to leave me alone because I did my best, and I'm trying not to look emotional because just trust Sammy to defend me even when I'm a worthless piece of crap. Dad just looks at him and I guess he decided to let it go cos he just turned back to the door and opened it up. And Sammy looked up at me and said in this really small voice, "I'm glad you're back." And I scooped him up and hugged him real tight, and I said, "Me too." And yeah, I miss Robin, and I miss Sonny and the guys, but at least I've got Sammy back.

Saturday, November 4, 1995

Sam gave me a fish today. Why a fish, I had no clue, but it turns out that he and Dad had gone fishing a few days earlier and he'd caught one that was too small to eat. Dad told him to throw it back but he wouldn't so he filled up a bucket with lake water (he said he just found the bucket on the shore which probably isn't too hygienic but who cares) and plopped the fish in it, and had been feeding it with bits of bread and things. Dad didn't really approve but he's a lot softer with Sammy than he is with me, as evidenced by the fact that they went fishing. Which I haven't done with Dad since I was two. But it's not like I'm feeling bitter about this or anything. Anyway, Sam has kept the fish, and he named it Dean because apparently he missed me so he replaced me with a fish. I am really not sure if I should be flattered by this or not but anyway, Dean is now mine (and writing that felt pretty surreal). At first I thought I should nickname him Little Dean and then I realised that… no. So I have nicknamed him Dee. I guess Sam was pretty happy to see me, though. I think he was getting a bit tired of Dee. Fish can't read comic books or fix toys or protect you when Dad's drunk and shouting.

Tuesday, November 7, 1995

So Dee's gone. Dad got fed up with Sam going on about the fish and pitched the thing into the street, bucket and all. Sammy went to run after it but I followed him and pulled him back before he ran onto the road. The bucket's squashed and there's no sign of Dee – I'm guessing he's stuck on some poor bugger's tyre. I hope they have a carport and not a garage cos dead Dee'll stink up the place like nobody's business. Anyway, Sammy cried and cried and I wasn't sure why because it was just a fish and the kid's twelve years old, but I think it was really Dad's attitude that got him. Honestly, I'm pissed too. Firstly because that was my fish, a gift from Sammy after Dad was a dick to me, secondly because that fish obviously meant a lot to Sam. I guess Sam saw it as some kind of redemption between the two of them because they've been starting to have problems. Sam wants to go to college, and stuff. I guess Sam figured that they were starting to do father-son stuff, which meant he still had a chance at saving their relationship and having a life. Something I might point out I never got to hope for, but I won't point that out because I am not bitter. At. All. Anyway, when Dad booted the fish, Sam probably saw it as Dad booting their last chance at mending their relationship. Sam's sulking now, and I'm not too happy either, but Dad just told us to take it like men and took a swig from his damn bottle. Story of our lives.

A/N: If you want to see my more recent writing, I'm on Archive Of Our Own at "unsungillumination". These days I write more video game fic, specifically Fire Emblem and Ace Attorney. :)