Why hello, all. I attempted to stay away to focus on my original fiction, but alas... we see how long that lasted. Hope you enjoy. :)

Abby shoved some of her salad around with her fork, her chin held up by her palm. Carol sat across from her dipping her french fries into Ranch dressing with vigor, sipping her Coke in between bites.

"So what's-his-name didn't work out?" She swirled a fry into the cup of ranch.

Abby shook her head and shrugged. "His name was Bryan. Okay guy – just no chemistry, ya know?"

Carol nodded, taking a long draw from her Coke. "I understand. So why not just jump Gibbs already, huh?" She wagged an eyebrow enthusiastically.

"Real subtle there, Carol." Abby replied, dryly.

"You're ten years past subtle, sweetheart. At this point, you might as well just hold up a neon sign that says, 'Take me, hotstuff.'"

"That would go over really well. And then he would run the opposite direction so fast…" She shook her head. "I've given up on him, Carol. It's never going to happen. Why bother worrying over it?"

"And yet here you are, still unable to find any guy you like because he pales in comparison."

"That's not why I didn't like Bryan. He just… well…" Abby sighed. "Yeah, okay."

Carol smirked at her. "What we need to do is get you all gussied up, and then you can hop over to Gibbs's house and seduce him. Easy as pie."

"Only if I'm buying that pie."

She received an eye roll from Carol. "He wants you – you just have to up the ante. And I'm sure if you had a decided lack of clothing, then said ante will be raised to such a point that he'll have to call and show you his cards."

"What's with the metaphors?"

"What? I can't show off my mastery of the English language?"

Abby merely scoffed mockingly before switching the subject. "How's work?"

"Don't change subjects on me. We're discussing you and your undying love and lust for a studly Marine." Carol bit into her burger, chewing as she lifted the bun and added some extra ketchup.

"Haven't we had this discussion? About five million times before?"

"Yes, but today it's in the context of your disinterest in Ryan."

"Bryan."

"Eh, same thing." Carol shook her soda lightly to shift the ice around.

"I don't know, Carol. I think I need new means of meeting guys. I may try online dating."

"Seriously? We could go to the club this weekend."

Abby shook her head, slipping some lettuce and a cherry tomato off her fork and into her mouth. "I never have any luck there. I was thinking of doing one of these sites that uses, ya know, science-y type means of matching people up."

"Or you could use that as a way to make Gibbs jealous." Carol grinned deeply.

"And people say I have a one-track mind." Abby muttered.

~*~*~NCIS~*~*~

Later that week, during a spare moment in the lab, Abby found herself on a dating website that claimed to use 50 characteristics, goals and interests as a means of finding a compatible, but not too similar, match. She was almost done with the initial questionnaire when a voice startled her.

"Whatcha got for me, Abbs?" Abby minimized the screen quickly.

Gibbs stood at the entrance to her office, his typical coffee in hand.

"Geez, Gibbs. I'm going to start making you wear a bell if you keep sneaking in on me like that."

"Wouldn't need one if you were paying attention."

Abby rolled her eyes and stood, simultaneously praying Gibbs hadn't seen her on a dating site. The last thing she needed just then was a paranoid Marine lecturing her about meeting potential serial killers. "The DNA Tony pulled off the wine glass doesn't match the victim, nor does it match the wife. It's a third party, Gibbs. But it's definitely a woman."

Gibbs waited, expecting more.

"What?" Abby shifted her eyes.

"That's it? No big explanation or guessing game?"

Abby shrugged. "Too distracted, I suppose, like you said."

"Feelin' alright?"

"Yeah, Gibbs, I'm fine." Just not in the mood to flirt for no reason.

He narrowed his eyes at her for a moment as if considering, and then nodded. "Let me know when the fingerprints come back." With that he was gone and Abby was once more in her office, sitting at her computer.

She opened the browser to resume the questionnaire, and scanned over what she'd already filled in. With a sigh, she moved to continue. "Yeah, I definitely need some help in the match department."

~*~*~NCIS~*~*~

It wasn't until much later that night that Abby had a moment to look at the potential matches the site had selected for her. There were already fourteen men chosen "by science" that could be Abby's perfect mate. She scanned quickly through them, easily picking out a few favorites. She shot off emails to ten of the fourteen, figuring that more than half would make for good statistics in getting some dates.

Leaving her laptop open, Abby began to dress for bed, disappearing from her bedroom only to brush her teeth. By the time she returned, two of her emails had replies.

Matt was a dentist in his mid-thirties who liked the same music she did and had several tattoos that he hid under his lab coat. Rob was a meteorologist also in his mid-thirties who loved dancing, liked all kinds of music except country and enjoyed a good whiskey. These were two she could easily get along with. She shot back emails to both, asking the typical get-to-know-you questions before turning off the laptop and climbing into bed.

Abby was about to turn off the light when her phone beeped. She had an alert on her email from the site that she had another message. Out of curiosity, Abby clicked on the link provided in her email and found that Matt had already responded, saying that his favorite movie was anything Mel Brooks had done and would she be interested in grabbing a quick bite to eat tomorrow night. Abby hesitated, wondering if she should do a background check on him before saying yes. She pondered the notion of Gibbs finding out and forbidding her to go, all the while in a jealous rage, but dismissed it, trying to remain realistic. Quickly she typed off a response that she would be happy to meet him at a local restaurant which she knew happened to be a popular hangout for the local LEOs. At least there she was sure to be safe. Within minutes, and after two more brief emails, her date was set and Abby settled in to her bed, trying to be excited for the date, instead of dreaming about the possibility that Gibbs would be jealous. If only it were that easy…

~*~*~NCIS~*~*~

Gibbs sat in his basement, sipping at his small glass of Bourbon. Abby had been on some dating website when he'd walked in that afternoon. He knew better than to hassle her about it – after all, they weren't dating. She didn't have a clue how he felt, and she sure as hell didn't reciprocate. But why would a woman like Abby need to go onto the Internet to find a boyfriend? Not only was she capable of easily finding a man just about anywhere, but it unnerved him to think of the men she would find online.

He needed to enlist one of his team – either Tony for his closeness to Abby and dating experience, or McGee for his tech knowledge. Gibbs weighed both options for a moment before deciding that Tony was probably the best bet – able to pry information without being obvious and he didn't harbor any feelings for the forensic scientist. And then Tony could complete his own background checks for Gibbs.

Gibbs swallowed the last of the Bourbon from the glass, contemplating his actions. If he just admitted his feelings to Abby, maybe he wouldn't have to go behind her back to check up on her. Maybe she wouldn't date any of those men in that case – maybe she'd just come straight to him.

Gibbs let out a bitter chuckle, shaking his head to himself as he put his tools away. If only it were that easy…