Neither a beginning nor end, but now

"Young master," My butler's voice cut through me like a knife, "You understand, do you not?"

"Yes, of course I understand," I understood perfectly but I didn't want to accept it.

"Very well," Sebastian muttered as he stood up, "I shall be taking my leave so, fare thee well for now,"

"SEBASTIAN!" I called out reaching my hand forward.

Sebastian turned to look at me again; I could feel the tears in my eyes. Walking back to me, the demon took my outstretched hand in his before placing a kiss on my palm; he let it go and placed his fingers under my chin.

I kept my head down and placed my fingertips over his smiling lips, that smile infuriated me. His hand moved up to rest on my cheek, I continued to look down. I didn't know what I wanted, what I needed or what to do.

"Young master," Sebastian began.

"Ciel, please just call me Ciel at least once," I was shocked to hear the begging tone in my voice.

"Ciel," He whispered, "This is not the end nor is it a beginning it is merely a now; and now won't last forever,"

A small smirk managed to cross my lips; it was my final attempt to stop tears from falling. It had been years since I cried and I wasn't about to start. I finally looked up into those devilish tea coloured eyes.

I tilted my head up at an angle and Sebastian lent down to press his lips to mine, in an innocent and childish kiss. It meant nothing. I felt the first tear fall as Sebastian turned his back and vanished into the shadows. I stood for at least an hour before I realised what had happened.

"SEBASTIAN! SEBASTIAN! WHERE ARE YOU?" I cried out, searching the shadows.

I fell to the ground sobbing; I couldn't stop the tears now. I felt sadness then anger, then that died down to leave me with nothing but an empty feeling. When my parents had died I had been left with a feeling of missing something…

But with Sebastian gone left me feeling literally empty, as though there were nothing within me. It was painful, it was like having my heart ripped out, shredded and then shoved back inside me. I stood slowly and walked back to the Phantomhive manor in a daze.

It would be three years minimum before I saw him again, and that was if he was even alive at the end of it. I wanted to scream, hit, yell, and cry; the emotions swelling up in me made the years feel like dreams.

*Five years later*

I was now eighteen and had not seen my butler in five years. No-one but I seemed to remember him. Throughout the years I had called to him every day, I just wished he was back by my side. In his absence I had hired a new butler.

He may only be human but he was able and kept the manor in order. Sitting back in my desk chair I swept my raven hair out of my eyes and place a hand over my eye patch. The contract mark had stayed in place for all these years, it meant one thing; Sebastian was still alive.

With a knock on the door I heard Walters voice, "Young master,"

"Enter," I replied sitting back up.

Walter was young, as few years older than myself and he reminded me of Sebastian, that may be why I hired him. He had the exact same shade of hair and his eyes were also the near the same tea colour.

His manner of dress and voice were also similar. He even wore an almost identical devilish smirk. I had caught myself nearly calling him Sebastian many times. The only big differences were, Walter did not wear a tail coat, he wasn't as good as making tea and of course he was human.

"There is someone to see you young master, would you like me to bring them up or will you come down to see them," Walter said with a bow.

"Who is it?" I said, curiosity rising.

"He said his name was Sebastian Michaelis, and that you would defiantly want to see him," What Walter said did not compute.

"W-what was his n-name," I stuttered.

"Sebastian Michaelis, My lord," Walter replied with a smile.

What I did next shocked even me. I jumped out of my chair, pushed past Walter and ran out to the entrance hall of the manor. What I saw shocked me, the feeling of living a dream returned. He stood at the door, that devilish grin over his face as he looked at me.

I raced down to him and embraced him. I felt tears swell up in my eyes, holding the demon tightly I heard him chuckle.

"Mister Sebastian?!" Mey-Rin's voice was heard at the top of the stairs, "OH MY! BARD, FINNY! COME QUICK! SEBATIANS BACK!"

It wasn't long before that useless cook and equally useless gardener were there. Letting Sebastian go, I let the others grab him. Looking at the top of the stairs I saw Walter, the devilish grin on his face as he watched the scene play out.

Everything was back to normal now, well almost normal; ok about as normal as it was ever going to be around here. For the first time in five years I smiled. The day past loudly as people dropped by to see Sebastian seeing they had all remembered he existed.

Later that night after we had all had dinner (and by all I mean myself, Sebastian (since he was a guest and not a servant at the moment) and all the other idiots like Elizabeth and Mao who had come by) Sebastian rose from his seat and walked to stand beside my chair where he bowed and waved his hand to his chest like he did in past times.

"Lord Phantomhive, if you will permit me I wish to be your butler onCe more," his eyes flicked up with a smile.

"Of course you fool, I wouldn't have it any other way," I said standing up, "Now change into you butlers attire and clean the dishes," With that I left.

Later that night, Sebastian got me ready for bed. As he finished dressing me I embraced him tightly. I smiled as I remembered embracing him the same way as a thirteen year old child and now being eighteen.

"My master, you've grow up a fair but," Sebastian remarked.

I chucked softly. Not much had changed about my devil of a butler; His hair was a bit longer, but that was about it really. As Sebastian stood I found that I was at his shoulder high now. I smirked and looked into his eyes.

"Yes, I believe I have," I replied in an almost cheeky manner.

Before Sebastian was able to say another word I pressed my lips to his in a similar was I did to when he had left. Only this time it became more passionate.

"I missed you… Ciel" Sebastian whispered.