A/N: I will be cross posting this story under the same username and title at Archive Of Our Own.

After Trenzalore I wanted a normal day. I felt weary, as if I were a watercolor left out during a torrential rain storm.

I don't remember leaving the Doctor's time stream.

I don't remember going back to the TARDIS.

I do remember sitting in the control room and Jenny offering me a cup of tea while Madame Vastra badgered the Doctor and Strax demanded to know about the TARDIS' weapon capabilities.

"...that's what I think, anyway," said Jenny when I took the cup.

I didn't ask her what she had been saying. It didn't seem important. Everything seemed very distant and muffled.

Shadows of memories danced at the peripheries of my mind like snatches of movement out of the corner of my eye. If I could just make myself focus I thought I'd be able to capture them, but they flitted away.

I lifted the cup to my lips but forgot to take a sip.

Then the Doctor and Madame Vastra were hovering in front of me and Jenny wringing her hands behind them. The Doctor had his screwdriver out and was scanning me.

"Oi," I said, batting the screwdriver away, "Watch who you're pointing that thing at."

The Doctor grinned and chuckled. "Good as new, eh, Clara?"

"I think she needs to see a doctor, a proper medical doctor," said Madame Vastra. "Who knows what damage could have been done in the time stream."

"I'm fine," I said. I handed the cup of tea to her and stood up. "Just tired. Those dream teleconferences don't do much for getting a good night's sleep. And, apparently, I was still half dreaming part of the time anyway."

I met the Doctor's eye and he knew that I was referring to River. The others looked confused.

"Well," said the Doctor, clapping me on the back, "What say we get you home and you can have a good night's sleep?"

I made some comment that made him laugh (I don't remember what I said) and then the Doctor dashed around the console and set the TARDIS into flight.

He didn't actually take us home.

He took us to London, 1893.

Jenny put new sheets on the bed in the guest room while Strax and Madame Vastra refreshed the perimeter defenses. The Doctor disappeared. Later I learned that he went to find my parents. Or, rather, the parents of the me that was born in Victorian London. He had some questions for them.

I turned down dinner and went straight to bed. It was funny climbing into that bed; it felt like going to sleep in a museum. I'd never gone to sleep in another time. That had always seemed like a line I shouldn't cross. Stay over night and sleep and somehow my adventure with the Doctor wouldn't be fun days out. They'd change, become something more permanent.

Of course, I'd just lived a thousand million lives to save him. I suppose I'd already crossed the line from day tripper into something more.

Once I got under the blankets I had to get out again to turn out the gas light. I dashed back across the floor and nearly stumbled over the rug. I made it to the bed though.

Funny how I could face down death in a Cold War submarine and those horrible silver Cybermen but the dark made my heart hammer in my chest. I've always been afraid of the dark. One of those irrational fears, I suppose (though with the Doctor, irrational fears sometimes turn out to be very rational indeed).

I lay there in the dark—and it was very dark. Jenny had drawn the curtains before she left and not a smidgen of light shone through the slit where they met. The house was full of strange sounds. Above me the floor boards creaked. I heard Strax down below, marching. I curled up so that my back was to the wall and pulled the covers up over my head.

"Silly, Clara," I whispered.

I nearly peed myself when a hand rested on my shoulder.

I whipped the covers back and shot up, pillow in hand, ready to attack.

"Sweetie, the pillow is not the best choice of weapon," said River Song.

She was sitting on the edge of the bed dressed in that ridiculous dress that looked like a corn husk and holding a spherical lamp. The soft warm light cast by the lamp bathed her and made her profusion of curls seem like a golden shimmer.

Her observation about the pillow (which I still clutched, ready to strike) was accurate, but I did not drop it.

"You," I said brandishing the pillow at her, "Are dead. You're the Doctor's dead wife. Why are you haunting me?"

"Spoilers," she said with a smug smile. She reached past me and set the light at the head of the bed.

Her smile was infuriating so I hit her with the pillow. "Does the Doctor know that you're haunting me?"

"As you fall asleep the light will dim. While you're awake it will shine brightly. There's nothing to be afraid of here. Don't worry."

"You didn't answer my question," I said.

"Clever girl," she said. She stood up and smoothed her dress. "Would you like me to stay until you fall asleep?"

"You are not my mum," I said. Thoughts of my mother, Ellie Oswald, bubbled up from deep within me. Memories that I smothered to keep my grief at bay. I threw the pillow at her, hitting her squarely in the stomach.

River didn't say anything. She bent over and picked up the pillow, fluffed it and handed it back to me.

She left through the door (that should have been a dead give away right there, mind you) and closed it behind her.

I put the pillow back down on the bed beside the light. I lay down and watched the light.

It grew steadily dimmer and then it was morning.