Hey everybody! This is my first time posting anything here, and I'm only doing this because my friend will kill me if I don't, soooo yeah! Please review it so I can tell exactly how horrible my writing is! Also, I tried my best to be grammatically correct, but I make no promises .

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Hetalia or any of its characters. If I did... hehehe... hehehehehehe...Mwahahaha...MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA... *ahem* I mean... Ah... Yeah, I don't own anything :)

"So, Mr. Vargas-"

"Lovino."

"Excuse me?"

"My name is Lovino. Mr. Vargas is my dad."

"Oh, my bad-"

"Whatever." The annoyed Italian pushed a brown curl out of his face as he stared at the professional looking woman sitting before him.

"So, Lovino." She smiled at him. Lovino had to bite his tongue to hold back a rude comment. He was feeling cramped in the tiny office and he was sick of listening to this lady's pointless politeness. "Tell me, why do you think you're here?"

"Because of that fucking to-"

"Mr. Var- Lovino! Please, no swearing! You are on school grounds after all."

Lovino's face turned redder.

"Fine. My bad. I'm here because of that idiotic Spaniard! If it wasn't for him, none of this would have happened! My life would be going swimmingly if I had never met that jerk!" Lovino dripped acid in all of his words, hoping this bitch would see his point.

"Do you mean Antonio?"

"The tomato bastard, yeah."

"Lovino! Language!"

"Oh come on! I can't even say bastard? That's fuck- freaking ridiculous! This is bull shi- This is B.S.!" Lovino had to refrain himself from screaming at the woman.

"Ok, we obviously have some issues to deal with here. Why don't we start with the beginning?"

"The beginning...Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously, and I would appreciate it if you stopped rolling your eyes at me. You're here for a reason, Lovino. Remember that."

"Fine. You want to know why I'm here? I'll tell you exactly how I ended up in this Hell hole!"

Lovino took a deep breath.

He closed his eyes.

He remembered.

"Did you remember your pencils?"

"Ve~!"

"Did you remember your books?"

"Ve~!"

"Did you-"

"Damn it, Dad! We're not fucking six years old!"

"All right, Lovino, calm down! I just want to make sure my little boys are ready for their first day of school!" Mr. Vargas exclaimed, smiling brightly. He was a bit saddened on the inside to see his sons go off to boarding school, but he was excited for the opportunities they would experience, the fun they would have, the girls they would meet...

"I'm not a little kid!" Lovino grumbled under his breath as he slipped out of the car. "Holy crap..."

The school in front of him was enormous. The building itself was shaped like a large 'E' with football, soccer, golf, cricket, jai-alai, and baseball fields around the back, as well as tennis courts and swimming pools. It sprawled across the grounds like a freaking mansion!

How the Hell did Feli get accepted to this place? Why the Hell would this fucking palace accept him?!

Lovino looked back to see his brother stumble out of the car. His light brown hair swayed in the wind as his curl, identical to Lovino's, bounced in the air.

"Ah, Lovi! It's so pretty!" Feliciano burst out; his face was the perfect picture of happiness. Lovino felt sick.

"I told you not to call me that! And how many times have I told you to shut the door behind you?" Lovino nagged his brother before realizing that he had already wandered off like he was apt to do. Cursing under his breath, he walked back to the car. He poked his head in to say a final farewell to his father before leaving but was stopped short.

"Ah, Lovino, good! I almost forgot to give you these..." his dad dropped something into Lovino's hands.

"What is- WHAT THE HELL? ARE THESE- Why the FUCK are you giving me condoms?!" He screamed, dropping the packets of latex on the car seats.

"You and Feli are young men now, and young men should always be prepared in case a young lady-"

"GOODBYE, DAD." Lovino slammed the car door, his face tomato red. He quickly rushed to the front of the school to try and find his brother. He slowed down when he saw him talking to some buff, blond guy by next to the school's entrance. Of course his brother would've already made a friend...

Feli's always been so easy going... I don't see why everyone loves him so freaking much. All he says is 'Ve~!' all the time and go on and on about pasta and cats... I mean, I'm cool too, right? Of course I fucking am, I have tons of friends! Like... Well, that doesn't fucking matter! Mind your own fucking business bastard! I don't need to tell you who my friends are!...Wait... Dammit, I'm talking to myself in my head again...

"Hey, watch out!"

"What-?" Lovi barely had time to turn his head before a football seemingly came out of nowhere and rammed into his stomach. He fell to the ground with a thud, his backpack landing beside him.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. My cousin was just throwing the ball around and... Are you hurt?" A teen Lovino's age was staring down at him with a look of concern plastered on his face. The green-eyed boy with the British accent spun his head around to furiously glare at someone slowly ambling towards them. "Alfred! Get your bloody arse over here and apologize you git! You knocked the kid flat on his back!"

"Chill out, Artie! It was an accident, I'm sure he's fine." the American turned from the Brit to the Italian, now sitting up and clutching his stomach. "Are 'ya all right, bro? That was a pretty hard throw!"

"Of course I'm not alright you fucking bastard! You just threw a fucking football in my Goddamn stomach! If I start coughing up blood I swear to fucking God I'll rip out your fucking throat. Now, someone better take me to the fucking nurse before I die!" Lovino yelled at the two startled teens. His chest heaved as he continued struggling for breath from the impact and his verbal outburst.

Shit, Lovino. You said you weren't going to do this! You're trying to make friends this year, remember? Now you've just cursed out the first people you've talked to!

"Haha! Oh, that was funny dude! Come on, lemme help you up. Artie here'll take ya up to the nurse. I'm still playing football out here if 'ya wanna hang when you're done. See 'ya later, bro!" Alfred walked away smiling back to his game with what looked like a group of Americans.

"I really do apologize for Alfred. The wanker only thinks about himself..." the Brit shook his head disapprovingly at the thought of the American and instead focused on leading a very confused and injured Italian to the nurse's office. Lovino noticed that Feliciano had wandered off again when they passed the front entrance. "Anyhow, my name is Arthur- not Artie- and you are?"

"I'm Lovino, and yeah, I noticed. That bastard didn't even apologize!" Lovino complained, rubbing his still sore stomach.

"He tends to do that. He always claims to be a hero and swoops in to 'save' everyone. In reality, it was his entire fault from the beginning! He is undoubtedly one of the most immature people I know!" Arthur vented as they continued to walk down seemingly endless hallways.

How big is this freaking school?! I mean, I saw the map yesterday, but still! How the Hell do they expect me to find my way around here? It's like a fucking maze that only leads you to schoolwork!

"Hey, I don't recall ever seeing you around the school before. Are you new?" the British teen asked. Lovino's face slightly reddened as he figured where the conversation was going.

"Yeah, it's actually my first day here."

"Oh, wow, I'm sorry. This has got to be a horrid way to start the school year... Well, what did you get into the school for?"

Aaaaaand that's exactly what I didn't want to talk about. Dammit. Now he's gonna think I'm a loser...

"Well, actually, my brother got an art scholarship. I'm only here because they allow siblings into the school so they won't be separated..." Lovino's face reddened more. People always gushed over how amazing his freaking brother was, how sweet he was, how kind he was. Lovino was sick of it.

"Ah, well, you're lucky. World Academy is the best private school out there. You'll have a great time here, trust me." Arthur smiled, trying to be polite.

Huh, maybe this guy isn't that bad-

Lovino suddenly noticed that the Brit had huge, bushy eyebrows.

How the Hell did I not notice that before? Shit, now they're all I can look at! Quick, look at anything but his furry caterpillars! My God, are they moving?! He's probably saying something, but I can't look away. There's absolutely no way those are natural; he's got to have some sort of implants or something! Fuck, eyebrow implants? Is this the kind of shit I signed up for? Well too damn bad! I'm not getting those fucking implants and I'm sneaking into his dorm room and shaving them off his face when he sleeps! Eyebrow implants, the nerve! I mean, really? I like eyebrows as much as the next guy, but come on... There's a point where you have to call it quits. How much do people even like eyebrows? Is it worse to have too little eyebrows, or too much? If I could have Arthur's eyebrows or none at all, which would I choose? If I couldn't pluck them... Would they grow back? Can I pencil them in or...?

"Lovino? We've been at the nurse's for a while now..."

Damn it! I was so busy not staring at his eyebrows...

"Ah, well, uh, ahem... thanks... I guess..."

"Not a problem. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm meeting some friends for tea. But hey, if you're going to the induction ceremony tonight, you can sit with my friends and I." He offered.

"Sure."

"Great, I'll see you later then! We'll be sitting towards the front a couple minutes before it starts all right?"

"Yeah, I got it."

"Ta for now then, Lovino!"

Did... Did he really just say 'ta'? Is... Is that even a fucking word? Whatever, I seriously need a freaking nurse. I think my ribs are broken... Isn't the saying 'ta ta for now'? What the fuck happened to the second 'ta'? Am I not worthy of two 'tas'? Well, who needs him?! You can keep your fucking 'ta tas'. I'm not crazy. This school is playing tricks on my mind! Damn these weirdos!... Ahh fuuuuck, my stomach! I need the nurse! Now!

Lovino walked into the nurse's office.

"Hey, is anyone there? I'm pretty sure my ribs are broken over here... Hello? Are you fucking kidding me? What kind of crappy school is this if the fucking nurse isn't even here..."

"Hey there!" a voice called out from behind him.

"What the Hell?!"

A skinny albino guy popped up from behind Lovino. He was tall and lanky, his spiky white hair falling in his eyes. He had a white nurse's coat hanging from his shoulders and a clipboard in his hands.

"Sorry I was out of the office, I had to go deal with some paper work. There was a kid in here earlier who had been hit in the head with something really heavy... Now, what's the problem? You look pretty healthy, are you sure you're not faking something to get out of the induction ceremony tonight? I hear that thing is gonna be soooo boring. I'm thinking of just skipping it and-"

"Wait, what the fuck are you talking about? There's no way you're the fucking nurse."

"Why couldn't I be? Are you insinuating that the awesome me isn't awesome enough to be a school nurse? I'll have you know I went through years of extensive medical training and graduated at the top of my class!"

"You're too young to be a fucking nurse, you look fucking sixteen!"

"So? Just because I look young doesn't mean I am. I'm a trained medical professional. I know all kinds of weird medical stuff that keeps me looking young. Now, are you hurt or what?"

Dammit, my stomach hurts too bad to argue with this dick any longer...

"Whatever. Some idiot threw a football at my stomach and I'm pretty sure my insides are bathing in blood. Have your years of training taught you what to do now, dick head?"

"Mr. Potty Mouth, hmm? Well alright then, take your shirt off, grumpy pants. I'll need to see how bad the injury is. Also, insult me one more time and I will gladly slip you some extra painkillers. No one will know. It'll just be a little 'accidental overdose', and no one will question your death. Understand?"

"Whatever." Lovino winced as he peeled off his shirt. He cursed under his breath as he felt his stomach throb against the cool air.

Shit, this is really getting worse over time. This nurse better know what he's fucking doing... Also, is he serious? Isn't threatening a student illegal or something? I mean, seriously! What the Hell was the school thinking when they hired this guy?

"Holy fuck! That looks nasty as Hell! Who the fuck threw a football that freaking hard?! Ah, wait, I bet it was Alfred... Actually, I think the only people even possible of that kind of strength are either him or Ivan, and I have no idea where that creepy Russian dude is..." The nurse rambled off.

"Hey, nurse! Remember me? I'm the one who you're supposed to be helping, in case you freaking forgot." Lovino snapped. He felt uncomfortable with his shirt off in front of a stranger.

Wait a fucking minute... He never asked my name... Hell, he never asked me any information about myself... Isn't that the first thing nurses are supposed to do? And wait, he never said his name either, did he? He's not even wearing a nametag or some shit like that!

"What's your name, Mr. Nurse Guy? I find it kind of weird how you never introduced yourself, or even asked any information about myself really." He glared suspiciously at the albino standing before him.

"Ah, well you're Lovino! I heard Arthur saying goodbye to you out in the hallway!" he replied, an off center smile on his lips.

Hmmm, well that makes sense... Wait, the fuck? He was spying on us?! That's creepy as Hell! This is just fucking great. I'm alone in a room, without my shirt on, with some kind of pedophile stalker who's threatened to kill me. Just wonderful, Lovino. Bravo... And on your first day too! Ok, think... There has to be a way out of this... Just keep stalling him until you can make your escape...

Lovino slowly gripped his shirt as he prepared to make a wild dash to the open doorway.

"Well, alright then... You still haven't told me your name though..."

"MR. BEILSCHMIDT!"

"Ah shit...Yes, Miss Lori?" the guy in front of Lovino suddenly looked a lot younger as he tried to put on his most innocent face.

"What are you doing in my office, Gilbert? I thought I told you to go back to your dorm to get some rest! You were hit in the head very severely by that frying pan and- Wait, who is this?" The young woman in a white coat identical to the albino's suddenly caught sight of a shirtless Lovino. That was when she noticed Gilbert's clothing and her clipboard in his hands.

"Oh, Hell no."

"It's not what it looks like!"

"You're pretending to be the school nurse again, aren't you?! Dammit Gilbert, I thought we went over this last time! If I catch you in here playing dress up one more time I'm going to bring you straight to the dean's office!"

"It's not dress up! I'm going to be a doctor one day, so I figured, 'why not start practicing now?' That's pretty smart of me, eh?" He flashed a smile at the actual nurse.

"I swear to God, if I was a student, I would smack you so hard upside the head right now. Get out of my office."

"But-!"

"Now, Mr. Beilschmidt!"

Gilbert pouted and threw the clipboard onto the counter beside him.

"Fine! The awesome me doesn't want to be a nurse anyway! I'm gonna be an awesome doctor, just you-"

"NOW."

"Fine!" Gilbert rushed out of the office.

"I want that coat back after you've washed it!" the nurse called out after him.

"What was that? I couldn't hear you over my awesomeness!" the albino's voice faded as he ran down the hallway to go bother someone else and maybe update his blog and Twitter account. The woman now in front of Lovino sighed and shook her head, a slight smile on her face.

"Ah, that Gilbert... Anyway, my name is Miss Lori, and you are obviously hurt. What's your name dear?" she looked warily at the large bruise covering Lovino's stomach.

I have soooo many things to say about what the fuck just happened, but I need some fucking pain relievers or something, NOW.

"My name is Lovino Vargas, this is my first day at the school, my medical records should be in the system by now, I don't have any medical allergies, I was hit in the stomach by a fucking moron and it hurts like Hell. Do you have painkillers or something I could take before I pass out?" he rushed his words as he leant against the counter for support.

"Of course. Here, let me get some out of the cabinet. They should help curb the pain for now. That is a pretty bad bruise though. Hmmm..." she spoke while pulling out a small pill bottle from the cabinets beside her. She dumped one in her hands and poured Lovino a cup of water. He quickly swallowed the pill down and washed it down with the cool liquid.

"My biggest concern right now is whether or not the hit did any internal damage. I want you to contact me at any time if you start coughing up blood or the pain in your stomach becomes unbearable. Your dorm room should have the nurse office's number listed by the telephone, so don't hesitate to call if you have any questions on your condition. I want you to at least come in here once by the end of the week so I can do a follow up examination. I also want to wrap up your stomach for the rest of the day, just in case your ribs are bruised. Here, sit over here..." Miss Lori spoke softly as she carefully wrapped Lovino's torso in bandages, vigilant to touch his bruise as little as possible. Even with her watchfulness, Lovino still cursed loudly as she clinched off the wrappings. "There, good as new!"

"Ah, thanks... I suppose... And hey, who the Hell was that kid, and why the heck was he pretending to be the nurse? Also, what did you mean when you said 'again'?" Lovino questioned the woman as he slipped his shirt back on, wincing considerably less than when he had taken the piece of clothing off. The drugs were working fast, and he was relieved.

"Oh, well that's Gilbert Beilschmidt. For a kid that smart, he does some pretty stupid things. If it wasn't for those two he runs with..." she sighed and shook her head. "So, you said this was your first day here, right? This must be a pretty awful way to start of your school year, I'm sorry dear." she flashed him a sympathetic smile.

"Yeah, it's whatever. I'll get that jerk back another time for this... Also, are you avoiding my question as to why the Hell that kid was pretending to be the nurse?" Lovino pressed again.

"Ah, well you see, well..." Miss Lori sighed again and explained further. "Gilbert's got a bit of an inflated ego... Aw, Hell, who am I kidding? The kid is a down right narcissist. He thinks he's the 'awesome-est' kid in the Academy. He's also studying to become a doctor, although I don't know how he expects to get into any decent medical school with his kind of record... Ah, well now I'm just gossiping. He comes in here everyone once in a while and tries to play Nurse, but I'm never too far away from the office, so don't worry. Now, you should probably be getting to your dorm room. The medication will make you a bit drowsy, but you should be fine to go to the induction ceremony tonight. I'll see you there, Lovino." she smiled at the Italian as he made for the doorway.

"Right, see you later then."

What kind of fucking school is this? They let some stupid kid into the nurses office and he just pretends to be an actual medical professional? What the fuck?! Ugh, calm down, Lovino. You just remember not to associate yourself with that kid, alright? Now, my dorm is in the right wing on the third floor, room number 308... Where the fuck is that? All right, I'll just take out my map...

FUCK.

"FUCK!" Lovino screamed in the middle of the empty hallway. He had left his backpack outside when Alfred had knocked him over. His main bags had already delivered to his room, but his backpack had all of his school supplies and personal papers in his backpack.

"I fucking swear, if anyone touched my fucking bag, I will hunt them down and cut off their fingers one by fucking one!" Lovino muttered under his breath as he walked as fast as he could back to the front of the school. Or at least that's where he thought he was walking. Before he knew it, he was in front of a door with the number 308.

"Wait, how the fuck did I end up at my room? I don't even remember walking up any fucking stairs! This school is too fucking big for its own good, Goddammit!" Lovino cursed aloud again, utterly confused and frustrated. As he stood there, debating whether or not he should try to find his way downstairs again, he was shocked as the door of his dorm opened up to reveal a very worried British teen.

"Lovino! I thought I recognized your curses... What are you doing here?" Arthur asked Lovino, leaning against the door frame.

"Arthur? Ah, well, this is my dorm too..."

"Shit. They screwed up again guys!" Arthur yelled over his shoulders into the room. His declaration was met by frustrated groans. He turned back to Lovino. "Come on in!" Lovino stepped through the doorway and allowed Arthur to close it behind him.

"Holy crap!" He exclaimed once he saw the room.

Shit, this place is amazing! It looks like a fucking five star hotel suite or something! A full dining room, a mini kitchen, a flat screen T.V... This school is fucking rich! I can't- Wait a fucking minute. Is that who I-

"Lovino, I'm sure you remember Alfred..."

"Sup dude! Yo, you left your book bag outside, so I brought it up to give it to you at the ceremony tonight, but now that we're roomies, here ya go!" Alfred chucked the bag at Lovino. The teen watched helplessly as the bag hurtled towards him, heading straight towards his freshly wrapped stomach.

Fuck. Not again.

Thank you so much for reading! Review if you can and tell me what you think! I have more written, but I seriously need motivation to publish anything, so tell me if you like the story! Anyway, I feel like I'm just rambling on at this point, so ciao!`