Disclaimer: Bleach is ©Tite Kubo. Spenser's is not mine either! The story plot is mine however, no stealies.

Warnings: Humor and crack ahead. I dearly love this couple, and am attempting a humorous approach at how they could have met if Bleach was not existent. Basically AU….

Please let me know if you find mistakes, I tried to find all of them…but I know I missed some probably.

Chapter One- Ichigo and Orihime

A young woman walked down the street at a hurried pace as she attempted to get to the gathering place for her friends on time. Her auburn hair sailed behind her and her brown eyes were wide with worry. "Oh no! Tatsuki is going to kill me." Orihime muttered to herself.

She could just imagine it… and in her mind she didn't end up becoming a robot like she had always dreamed. Nope, instead Tatsuki turned her into a giant banana and made her run around and sing "Barbie Girl" in German, while the little blue men chased her and pulled at her peels.

The image caused Orihime to shudder in fear.

Orihime was so engulfed in her thoughts she didn't realize that he had passed her friends, and as a result, almost screamed when said friend grabbed her by her wrist and yanked her over to the table and chairs the other girls were sitting at.

"Orihime, what's with the day dreamin'" Tatsuki groaned, "You'll be the death of me, I swear." Brown eyes stared glistening in amusement and Tatsuki relented with a sigh before turning to take note of who had arrived. "Rukia, Rangiku, Yoruichi, Orihime," She paused and sent her fist flying towards Orihime's left, "Chizuru go home, you weren't invited; and me. Seems to me that everyone is here. So now which order of business do we proceed with first?"

A woman with ice blue eyes and strawberry-blonde hair chipped in first, "I say we get Orihime a sexy man for tonight!" Rangiku patted Orihime on the back gently as she began to blush profusely. "Oh Hime, with your looks you won't have to search very hard. I mean we all have men. It isn't fair for you to be left out." She chuckled and stood, "Let's go!"

The blonde was stopped by 3 loud 'heys' and a quiet protest, and then was forced to sit back down.

"Rangiku? How exactly were you going to find her a 'sexy man for tonight'?" Yoruichi laughed before leaning towards Tatsuki who was frowning at the both of them. "I have a better plan. We four will send Orihime into a shop and tell her a place and a price range. If she finds a man in that area looking at an item, she has to make a move." A cattish grin spread across her face, the plan was perfect.

Tatsuki looked at Rukia and Rangiku who were starting to smile themselves, then to Orihime, who seemed to be paralyzed in her seat.

Little did they know that Isshin Kurosaki was standing within earshot, and heard this plan.

"So what is the information?" Rukia piped in excitedly.

Rangiku pursed her lips, "How about an adult toy?" She glanced at Orihime and smirked, there was no way that Orihime was getting out of this.

"10 to 20 dollars? And let's see…at Spenser's in the SnM section." Tatsuki grinned, then looked over to Orihime who had a confused look on her face. "Hey Hime, what's wrong?"

The redhead looked up, "What's SnM?"

Isshin rushed home to see his son leaning against the wall with a piece of toast in his mouth. "Ichigo! I just remembered I have a meeting to go to, but I need you to pick me up something at a store!"

"No way, old man." The teen dodged as a punch was thrown at his face, and kicked his foot out tripping his father.

"You have to!" Isshin pretended to sob, and ran over to the giant picture of his wife, "Our son is so mean! Do you see the way he treats me!"

"Dad! Fine, I'll do it, just stop already." Ichigo scowled at his father, taking the last bite of the bread.

"Ok!" Isshin handed Ichigo 20 dollars and whispered into his ear. "Go to Spenser's now and go to the SnM section and-"

"Dad! What the hell!" Ichigo yelled out. "I am not going to buy you stuff for your fetishes!

"Oh, Misaki! Our son… he…he…"Isshin continued to sob to a poster on the far wall until Ichigo finally relented.

"Fine! I'll go. What do you want anyway?" The 19 year old grumbled.

"Handcuffs, but they have to be at least 10 dollars, but not over 20, otherwise they do not work when-" He was cut off when Ichigo slammed the door shut and began to walk towards the bus stop.

20 Minutes later

Orihime was standing in the middle of the section her friends had put her in. Innocent eyes looked over everything. Why did they sell handcuffs? Weren't those for police officers?

She looked up as she heard someone come around the corner. He was grumbling to himself, and he walked over to the cuffs and grabbed a set, only to look up and meet Orihime's eyes.

Ichigo almost died of embarrassment, a former high schoolmate of his had appeared before him; and he was holding handcuffs. For his father. Amber eyes slid over her figure and he gulped, someone please kill me now. She had definitely filled out even more since he had seen her last year.

"Uh….I'm getting these because of my Dad." He paused, that sounded awful. "I mean, for my Dad to use…on someone else…" Grimacing Ichigo went silent, before noticing that Orihime had only cocked her head to the side and started squinting at the pair in his hands.

Her brown eyes settled on the price tag, and she swallowed; it met the criteria. Why had the Kami chosen Ichigo, of all of the people in the universe; heart throb since her second year in high school.

Blushing as she looked over the young man in front of her, she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Umm, Kurosaki-san…would you mind telling me what those are for?" She gazed up innocently at Ichigo. "I thought that handcuffs were for police officers."

Ichigo stared at her, shock radiating off of his figure. Was Orihime serious? Did she really not understand…what this section was for? He glanced at her face once more, taking in the innocent aura that emanated off of her being. She seemed to be serious, but how was he supposed to explain this? He had barely talked to her in high school, nothing more than a good morning, and for good reason; she had been the perfect girl. The girl that everybody wanted. Perfect body, 3rd in ranking, sweet natured and kind, innocent and albeit ditzy; she had been one of the most popular students in the high school, without even knowing it.

Raising an eyebrow Orihime, he tried to grin in order to hide his awkward emotion. "Why are you here if you do not understand the purpose?" 'Great Ichigo, ignore the question, with a question. This was going well.'

Her dark eyes went wide, and a dark blush spread across her cheeks. Ichigo decided he had definitely come across something. "Well…you see…" Orihime wrung her hands against her lap. Suddenly finding her shoes very interesting. "Kurosaki-san, would you….li...li…like…to go on a…d..da..date wi….with me?"

The clink of the handcuffs was the only sound that was made in the next few moments.

"What?" Ichigo's wide brown eyes stared into hers.

Bowing, Orihime gasped out, "You see I was sent here to find a date, and possible boyfriend, and if I go back without a guy…they will be very disappointed. I can't disappoint them."

The boy stared in her direction before he forced himself to come back to reality. "Sure, Inoue-san…" He smiled at her, wondering who the hell would send a girl into a store like this, and tell her to find a date; especially a girl like Orihime.

A warmth spread over Ichigo's chest as she smiled, that smile had been the reason for his love of her in high school; though he doubted she even had any feelings more than friendly towards him.

"I'm glad it was you, Ichigo-kun." Orihime said still smiling.

"Me too, Inoue-san." Ichigo smiled down slightly. 'Me too.'

They both stood still and silent for a moment, letting the reality of what just happened settle. But the silence was stopped at Orihime asked once more, "So what are those for anyway?"

~The End~

Author's Note

This one did take a while simply because I was trying to find a way to make it seem….a little awkward, yet realistic. I hope that it came off that way. Anyway, let me know what you think. The Ichihime "How we Met" is now done, and I am off onto the next one.