Hey ya'll! We were bored and decided to make a Mary Sue fanfic. We don't want to make fun of anyone, this is just for fun. We haven't actually seen many Mary Sue's in the Escaflowne section, but hey, might as well start somewhere against the evil. We didn't spell check it just for effect, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Don't own nothin'!

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Chapter 1: The Normal Girl

Hi, my name is Mary Sue Silverboots. I live in Japan, my parents are both Japanese and quite popular throughout the whole world. The President of England [A/N: NO! We do not think that there is a president of England, that is the point] calls weekly to just catch up and talk with my Mom. Other than that, I lead a fairly normal life. I have a younger brother who I always fight with, however would kill himself for me.

At school I'm of course the most popular girl, but at the same time I'm always feeling hurt and alone, no one understands me. Woe is me. I don't have a boyfriend cause I tell them all off, they're not good enough for me. I'm saving myself for Justin Timberlake, it's not hopeless, I got a letter.

[Numair: Yeah… normal…..

Anne: My lifes just like that…]

Anywhoo, one day a girl with cascading blond hair walked through the halls, her D cup boobs happily greeting the day and bringing joy to the young boys hearts. Her face was clear as though no zits had ever graced her skin.

"Mary Sue-cha~~~~~~~n!"

Mary Sue fell over as her best friend, with no real signficance other than right now, Cathy Smith tackled her. Mary Sue turned to her friend, her emerald green eyes turning to her friend in surprise and seeming to laugh.

[Numair: Is Cathy Japanese? Where the hell are they?

Anne: Of course she is Japanese! But us narrow minded Americans can't grasp that!]

"So, I hear that Bobby Rainwater wants to go out with you! You're soooo beautiful!" gushed Cathy, grabbing onto her friends arm as they continued walking to class.

"I know," chuckled Mary Sue, patting herself on the back, "I don't see how people see me as beautiful because of my tradgeic horrible life-altering past."

"Oh Mary Sue, you're so brave to continue with your life after your tradgic horrible life-altering past. I wish I could be just like you!" cried Cathy, producing a tissue out of thin air.

"Oh no Cathy! Love yourself for who you are! Always be you to the best you can be!" cried Mary Sue, her eyes shiny with determination and hope. Cathy smiled and walked into their homeroom announcing that Mary Sue HAD arrived!

[Numair: Thus Mary Sue didn't notice the death look appearing on Cathy's face….

Anne: No! Everyone loves Mary Sue, you forget that (although she didn't notice the dagger they were going to stab her with…..

Numair: eheeheeheeeheeeheee

Anne: Mary Sue is a model everything, she wants you to be yourself unless you can be more like her probably…]

Throughout the day Mary Sue amazed everyone with the being which is Mary Sue. At cooking class she amazed everyone with her cooking, making Paris chefs want to weep! Cathy however burned her food and cried like everyone else. During gym class Mary Sue was the appointed captain of the basketball team and led her team to victory. Both teams appaulded her, although they had lost the game they lost it to Mary Sue, so it was all good. The boys watched the game with hearts in their eyes wishing that Mary Sue would be their girlfriend. But she felt all so alone, woe is her.

[Anne: Wait… when I was in Japan guys had a different gym class…..

Numair: It's Mary Sue, Anne. She decides the school system.]

She also beat up the school bully with her knowledge of karate, judo, and all that wonderful shit….

After school Mary Sue was in too many clubs to count, however was the ace person of every club. Meanwhile, Cathy couldn't do shit since Mary Sue was always better, or ELSE!

On Saturday at the party…

[Numair: Wait a minute… they don't get Saturday's off!

Anne: Well, this year they do.]

Everyone got drunk except Mary Sue who could drink everyone under the table and still be good.

"Hey Mary Sue! I was wondering if you wanted to wear my letterman jacket?" asked Bobby, obiviously drunk and thus touched Mary Sue!

"No Bobby, don't touch like that! Remember my horrible tragic life-altering past!" cried Mary Sue, tears gushing forth from her emerald green eyes.

"Oh," wept Bobby who proceeded to cry his eyes out. "I'm sorry Mary Sue, please forgive me!"

"Of course I can, I'm Mary Sue!"

"That you are!"

[Numair: and he proceeded to pass out.

Anne: and he proceeded to grope her some more…]

Mary Sue decided to leave the party since everyone was wasted, although she was the center of their universe, they perhaps could go on without her.

"Oh! No one loves me, no one CARES!" wept our heroine.

Stepping into a dark park (that rhymes!) she sat down on a bench and proceeded to have a vision.

A young boy with raven hair sat there looking off into space. He seemed lonely and sad. Suddenly, a figure steps out of the corner darkness and charges at the young man and stabs him. Blood fills the air and the raven hair hunk dies.

"Oh no! What was that! I must stop this from happening!" Mary Sue exclaimed, not considering that it might have been the booze.

Suddenly, a pillar of light appeared from no where and sucked the distressed heroine up into the night sky.

Cathy saw this and screamed Mary Sues name. The heaven wept.

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That was fun! Eheheeheeeeheee. As you can tell we are really bored and highly amused. Stay tuned for the next part in which Mary Sue will save everyone, "Gaea, a New Doom!"