Passion Never Dies
by GylzGirl

Disclaimer: Fox owns the characters. Joss owns my angst. I own the story. Dialogue excerpts are from the episode "Passion" written by Ty King.
Type: Angst, you're soaking in it! (Aww, I need a hug.)
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: Originally published in the fanzine Passion. This occurs concurrent to events in Passion.


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As she began to regain her senses, Jenny could feel the cold hard tile floor beneath her. She blinked her eyes open and found herself staring up at the ceiling in a darkened hallway of Sunnydale High School. "Huh...how did I...Oh Goddess! Angel!" She jumped to her feet and began to break into a full run when she ran right into something...someone. Panic enveloped her. No! Not again! She pounded her fists against the figure and found warm arms encircling her, hugging her close, quieting her assault. She calmed a little and even dared to hope that this was Rupert come to save her. Jenny lifted her head and looked into his face...Angel's face. Her eyes welled with tears and she inhaled to scream. He put his hand to her lips to signal her silence. His touch was feather-light. Not like last time, he'd pressed so hard before...wait...wait, last time? She began to remember. She'd looked up into his face, a yellow-eyed demon leering back at her, laughing. She'd screamed. He'd pressed his hand to her lips so hard her teeth began to ache. The fear had tightened her lungs to the point of near-suffocation.

"Sorry Jenny. This is where you get off," he'd said. Then grabbed her cheek and twisted and...oh Goddess..the pain. Then nothing, nothing but cold black stillness...and then the floor. Her eyes searched his face as the tears began to spill.

His eyes were so...different now, caring and concerned. He leaned forward and very softly brushed her forehead with a kiss, a small sob escaping his lips as he did so. "Jenny, I-I'm so sorry."

"Angel?" she asked. He smiled slightly. She looked over to the window and saw another figure. It was Angel...no, she corrected herself...Angelus. Angelus, the vicious creature who'd...who'd. She looked into the demons arms and saw he carried someone. A very slight, very still form. Her form. Angelus, the vicious creature who'd ended her life.

Jenny felt her legs give way beneath her. Before she could touch the ground, Angel had swept her up in his arms and was carrying her down the staircase, barely five steps behind the cadaver-carrying demon. "I don't understand," she whispered in his ear, tears flowing freely now. Angel carried her into the nearest open classroom and sat her on the desk. "I don't want to be dead," she sobbed, the words sounding ridiculous to her own ears. "I want to be with Rupert." Angel sat next to her on the desk and hugged her crying form to his chest.

"And I wanted to be with Buffy," he said calmly. He tilted her chin up so he could look into her eyes. A warm smile lit his face. "Unfortunately, whoever it is who's running the whole show isn't real big on considering what we want."

Bureaucracy even in death? Great." Angel laughed despite himself. The sound of that laugh...HIS laugh released her inner rage. "This isn't funny. I'm dead. You killed me!" He stopped laughing, her accusatory tone visibly wounding him. She softened, "I-I-I mean HE killed me. Oh, I don't know what I mean! This is just so....wrong! I feel like I'm going crazy."

"I'm afraid you're very sane, and you're not dreaming or hallucinating or...you're dead Jenny. I'm very sorry, but it's true." Jenny turned her face from him, trying to let all of it sink in.

After a long silence, Jenny spoke again. "Well, if we're both spirits why haven't we...you know?" He looked confused. She rolled her eyes and continued. "The light, the tunnel, yadda yadda yadda?"

"Oh that. I can't go on as long as my body is still, um…active? You can move on anytime you want to. Whenever you're ready. Right this minute or a thousand years from now, it's up to you."

"Finally, I get a choice again. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not ready yet. I want...I want to see Rupert."

Angel smiled slightly and stood. "I knew that you would." He extended his hand to her to help her to her feet. She did not take it, standing on her own. Angel lowered his hand. "I understand. Come on, I'll take you there."



******


As Jenny and Angel approached Giles' front door, she spied a single red rose, it's stem threaded through the tiny bars on the door's peephole. "Oh Gods, Rupert must've left this for me." She charged forward and vanished through the door.

"No wait!" Angel reached out to grasp her shoulder, but she was already gone. "Dammit!" Her followed her through. Jenny entered Giles' living room. The rich sounds of La Boheme filled the candlelit room. Champagne sat chilling on his desk, two glasses sitting nearby. Next to them sat a folded piece of parchment. She reached for it, her hand passing through. She would not be able to read it, but she didn't need to. The votive candle and rose petal trail led up Rupert's staircase to his bedroom. A giddy smile spread across her features. She charged for the stairs.

Angel appeared just in time to see her jump the first step. "Jenny stop!" He quickly surveyed the room...and he knew. Jenny did not hear him. She allowed the sound of the aria to carry her up the steps as much as her own legs did. She could already picture him in her mind. Naked in the bed, covers pulled up to his waist. He'd be laying on his side, leaned up on his elbow, waiting. Maybe he'd fallen asleep waiting for her. She had always loved watching him sleep. Every night they'd spent together, she'd made a point of waking up first to see him sleeping. All the tension of the world weary Watcher fell away in his slumber and left behind only Rupert Giles, the man.

Jenny passed the landing and reached the top step. She looked up and her jaw dropped in shock as she saw not Rupert, but her own corpse staring blankly from the bed. She felt Angel appear behind her. Teary-eyed, she turned to him and tried to speak when she heard the front door open.

"Hello? Jenny? It's me."

"OH GODDESS! Rupert don't come up here!" Jenny moved to bolt down the stairs to stop him, when Angel held up his hand to her. "Get out of my way! I don't want Rupert to see this."

"That can't be stopped now."

Jenny was on the verge of hysterics hearing Giles' footsteps on the stairs. "Please Angel, help me stop this! Don't let him do this to Rupert!" 'Too late,' Jenny realized as she saw Rupert appear behind Angel's shoulder.

Angel moved across the room and left Jenny staring at Rupert as he saw right through her to the shell in his bed. His green eyes changing from smoldering anticipation to utter horror, as the bottle and glasses he held crashed to the floor in synchronization with the song's crescendo.

"No," Rupert said, barely above a whisper. He walked right through Jenny's weeping spirit and knelt beside the bed. Jenny turned, hands over her sobbing mouth. Rupert gently stroked the corpse's cheek, brushed the raven locks from its forehead, and closed its staring amber eyes. He leaned over and kissed its cold lips, then took its hand and cradled it against his chest as he sat shaking.

Eyes blurry with burning tears, Jenny looked across the room to see Angel also weeping as he watched the morbid tableau. Seeing the unasked question in her eyes, Angel sadly shook his head, 'No.'

After a few minutes, Rupert rose on unsteady legs to the phone on his bedside table. "Yes, I need to report a murder." His voice calm and emotionless, even though his hands were shaking so much he could hardly hold the receiver.

When he'd hung up, he went downstairs to await the police. Jenny slumped, trembling near the wall. Angel approached. She wiped her cheeks free of tears and laughed. "Gods, you'd think dying could have at least been the worst thing to happen to me today!"

Angel reached out to hold her. She punched him in the chest. "Don't touch me! You did this."

"Me? You mean him."

"No I mean you! That night, Buffy's birthday, didn't you feel your soul slipping from you?"

"Yes."

"And you knew what would happen if Angelus came back?"

"Of course."

Jenny laughed again, harshly. She straightened and glared at him. "Buffy was sleeping, helpless. You got yourself as far away from her as you could so Angelus would not emerge by her side?"

Angel nodded slowly, not quite understanding.

Jenny stopped speaking when the coroner's assistants came to remove her body. From the banister, she watched Rupert leave with the police officers, lead fear for him weighing in her stomach once more.

"You had something you needed to say?" Angel prodded.

Jenny sighed and continued. "In the time it took you to get away…you could have staked yourself and prevented all of this from happening." Her voice was cold with anger, each word nearly a hiss. "You knew we would all be in danger. You knew he would come for Buffy with a zeal that would make the cruelty he showed Drusilla seem almost loving. And now? Now Buffy is in constant danger, I'm dead and Rupert, Gods they may arrest him for murder. MY murder!"

Angel averted his eyes from her intense stare. "What do you want me to say? You're right? Because, you are. I don't have any excuse except that it was all happening so fast, I was only thinking of the immediate danger."

"Ha! Why am I somehow unimpressed?" Jenny strode to him like a panther stalking its prey. She punched him in the chest, once, twice, and then the rage really took over. She began to beat her fists against him with a fury she never imagined she could possess. "GET OUT! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Angel backed away and watched as Jenny moved to the bed, threw herself down and wept. Head hung low, he moved down the stairs and out the front door without another word.



******


Jenny had been crying for awhile when she heard the front door open again. "Rupert?" She heard noises from below like a tornado was blowing through the house. Oh Gods, what if Angelus were back? She tore down the stairs only to have Rupert rush up them past her. She followed him and watched in confusion as he ransacked the trunk near his bed. He pulled out a baseball bat and jogged back down the stairs. Jenny followed, understanding dawning as he placed the bat and a canister of gasoline into a duffel bag full of other weapons and strode out the door, pain etched on his face. He hadn't even bothered to shut his door. Why would he? He wasn't planning on surviving the night, Jenny realized. She ran out the door after him. She had to stop him. She didn't know how, but she would have to find a way.

Jenny hopped into Giles' car while he was stowing his bag in the trunk. She watched his face from the passenger side. He was grinding his teeth, attempting to keep the tears down. "Rupert? Oh Goddess. Rupert, I don't know if you can hear me but please don't do this. The kids can't lose us both. I don't want anything to happen to you! How can I rest in peace if I know you died because of me? Oh no, is that what you think? I died because of you? Because of Buffy? I was on his hitlist as soon as he knew I was Romani. That had nothing to do with you! Pull the car over. Rupert please!"

At that moment, Rupert did indeed pull the car over. Joy overwhelmed Jenny until she realized he hadn't heard her at all. They were in the warehouse district. Giles was going through with it. Jenny lept from the car, panicking. What could she do? Time was running out. Rupert was removing the bag from the car and walking down the row of abandoned buildings. Should she run and try to get Buffy? What if Buffy couldn't hear her either? Rupert ducked inside of the warehouse at the end of the street. Jenny followed him inside, a lump in her throat.

Giles and Jenny watched Angelus, Spike and Drusilla from the shadows. She saw the rage build on Giles' face as they talked of her murder like they might be reviewing a play they'd just seen. When he could stand no more, Rupert calmly fashioned a molotov cocktail. He lit and threw it into the middle of the vampires. It exploded into a fireball on the table in the center of the room. The demons scrambled to leave. Giles was already loading his crossbow. He fired at Angelus, pinning his shoulder to prevent his escape. Jenny thought he had missed until she saw the speed with which he had claimed the bat. Rupert's determined stride toward Angelus spoke of his intent. In one fluid motion, he produced the bat from his side, brought it across the front of his body to touch the tip to the fire, swung it over his head to pick up maximum momentum and cracked it against the demon's face. Jenny smiled as Giles pummeled the vampire to his knees.

"Geez, whatever happened to wooden stakes?" Angelus asked groggily.

"They don't hurt enough," Giles hissed under his breath as he continued to administer the beating. He brought the bat straight up to deliver one final blow. It gave Angleus the opening he needed. He reached an iron grip to the Watcher's throat.

"Rupert!" Jenny screamed and rushed over.

Angelus rose to his feet, squeezing the air from Giles' lungs. "All right, you've had your fun." He lifted Giles into the air, the bat dropping with a clatter from his limp hand as Giles lost consciousness. "But you know what it's time for now?"

"My fun!" Jenny spun to see Buffy impact a kick into the vampire's face. Angelus and Buffy launched into a full brawl, moving ever upward in the cavernous depths of the warehouse. Jenny knelt beside the fallen Watcher, momentarily relieved when she saw his chest move with breath, but nearing panic as she realized the fire he had started threatened to claim him as it raged out of control.

Within seconds it seemed, Buffy was sailing down through the air to land perfectly next to Giles. Jenny smiled in gratitude. Buffy hoisted her Watcher onto his feet and supported him with her shoulder as she walked him to consciousness and fresh air.

Jenny moved ahead to assure for herself that Spike and Drusilla weren't lurking there, waiting for them. Giles and Buffy emerged from the building's smoking innards. Giles roughly shoved Buffy away from him. "Why did you come here?!" Pure venom dripped from every syllable. "This wasn't your fight!"

Buffy's eyes began to fill with tears. She drew her fist back and delivered a punch to his jaw. Giles half spun with the impact, dropping to the pavement, his glasses flying off to join him on the ground. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?!" Buffy stood and watched as her Watcher drew himself to his knees and wept. She could no longer hold her own tears back and sank to the ground beside him, pulling him against her chest, wrapping her arms around him. She rocked him as they cried together. "You can't leave me. I can't do this alone."

Jenny observed it all with fresh tears on her cheeks. Soon, Giles' arms curled over his Slayer's and he leaned against her, breathing deeply to calm himself. Whatever shred of Jenny's heart that had not yet been broken that night, shattered. Her spirit walked down the alleyway and left the living to tend to their grief.