This is my first ever DarylXBeth.

Review

The late winter air pushes up against her, sending shock waves across the naked flesh of her arms as the ice laced wind attacks her. She watches the bland perimeter, counting trees and shrubs over and over again. It was the only way to pass the time of her watch. It was the only way to keep unwanted, unwelcome thoughts at bay. Thoughts about who she once was versus who she is now. Thoughts of being moderately happy versus this state of endless sadness and fear.

The black sky is just beginning to lighten as the beginnings of complete exhaustion begins to press up against her heavy eyelids. She blows her breath onto her numb, stiff fingers, before balling them into fists. She moves her shoulders around, lids fluttering closed briefly, concealing away blue eyes.

She wonders when she will be allowed rest; if that all was in his plans. Are was it going to be like it was a month ago when she went a whole week with out even a wink of rest. Was he once again going to force her into unconsciousness then beat her for falling asleep on watch?

A noiseless sigh escapes her. She turns her head a little back at the fading fire and all the men slumbering around it, hardly enough tents for all the low-life man scum the Governor had scrounged up during the last few months. All of them were a mix-match of nothing special, but he had declared he would make them warriors – soldiers would would destroy her old family.

There was about twenty now, every now and again once would fall victim to a walker, if not cross the Governor himself. It worried her a little, how he was growing stronger again, he was creating an army to be, if not feared, noticed.

But they must be growing stronger as well. It was the only thought that calmed her some nights. She turns her attention once again to the blackened area. They would be alright.

"What are you thinking?"

She completely stiffens, her gaze misting over with indifference as he appears beside her. A lump forms inside of her as she contemplates what to say. She can see him beside her, and she can feel his eyes burning into her.

"Don't make me ask again, Bethany."

She inwardly cringes at the name leaving his lips. She licks her lips as she crosses her arms over herself.

"Lots of things..." She answers truthfully, glancing at him, feeling small, weak, and powerless. The normal feelings associated with being in his presence.

"Like..."

His uncovered iris bores into her, brown, cold, and unstable. Today was going to be one of those... the type in which everyone must tread more then careful around him. She thinks quickly, weighing her words before finally speaking, "how many wal – biters there are in the world, is it nearing spring yet, what exactly did pizza taste like..."

He laughs at her words and she thinly presses her lips together. He yawns after a minute of his uncomfortable laughter.

Beth's eyes scan the area, not at all reacting to his laughter nor unrelenting presence. Finally, he leaves, moving towards his tent.

Once he's gone, tears burn at the back of Beth's eyes and a breath she had no idea she was holding escapes her. Her arms fall limply to her side. That one brief meeting had literally taken so much out of her. He was like a black hole, an evil black hole.

As night completely fades away the camp begins to awaken, and she no longer has to keep watch. Instead she moves to the fire, taking a seat on a log beside Martinez who is immersed in a conversation with a man named Austin, something about hookers and weed. She half-halfheartedly listens, stories like these being her only source of entertainment and watches a man mess with the fire. The wood hisses and loudly crackles.

She leans over Martinez and plucks the nearly empty pack of cigarettes from his lap as well as his lighter. Before he can even say anything she takes the last, lighting it, bringing it to her lips.

"Bitch, that was my last one!"

Beth tosses the empty pack back at him. "Sue me..." Her lids flutter shut as she takes the cigarette from her lips.

The man growls, mumbling something in Spanish. She cracks one eye open, giving him a long side eye.

"Look, I'll find you some more, alright?" A sigh escapes her. "I had a long night."

"Haven't we all?" He asks hotly, actually plucking the cigarette from her fingers, bringing it to his own mouth.

She lightly narrows her gaze at him. "Oh? You've gone a day and fucking half without any sleep? I'm truly sorry, Caesar."

He's quiet for a few seconds. "He's doing that again, huh?" He curses in Spanish. Looking at his face the girl finds he truly looks as if he is pitying her.

A smile tugs at her lips. She wasn't above being pitied. Shit, as Philip had put it, all she was worth was a good piece of ass and a punching bag. She would accept a little pity.

"I'll be asleep soon enough..." She meant when Phillip rendered her unconscious. He laughs at her unfunny joke, which she appreciates. He hands her his cigarette back which she appreciates even more.

The Governor, which he, for whatever reason, still liked being called moves from his tent. He heads right for her, she watches him wearily, they all do. His annoyance is in his shoulders and in his stride. He was not a happy camper.

"We leave at noon!" He addresses to everyone. "Come and see me, Bethany." He tells her before turning and heading to his tent.

Her stomach churns and her fingers drum against her legs before her hands balled into fists, her nails digging into her palm so hard her irises stung. She hands the cigarette to Martinez before getting to her feet, this time avoiding his gaze, not wanting to see his reaction to this.

Shame ate at her.

"I'll save it for you." The man spoke, voice lacking any sort of emotion.

"No, that's fine." The young woman mumbles and leaves without another word.

(L)

"They didn't care about you, you understand right?" His voice creeps over her skin like a thousand disgusting little bugs burring under her flesh. "If they had, why didn't they come looking? Why are you still with me after seven months?" He grunts into her neck and she clenches her jaw, shifting a little underneath him. Bawl burns deep inside her, but the girl forces it back inside her. She could puke later.

He nips at the flesh on her neck. "No one cares about you like I do." He whispers, he always says this. "I protect you." He moves away from her neck, placing a coy kiss on her forehead. "No one cares about you, but me."

Lies. This man spoke nothing but lies. She had people who cared about her, who truly cared about her. Her dad, Maggie, the whole group, all of them care for her. She likes to daydream about them looking for her, like the way they had looked for Sophia.

"You were weak, so they didn't look for you. You weren't worth looking for." He untangles himself from her and stretches over her. Beth curls into herself. Her lids flutter shut as she tries to ignore his words, tries to not believe his words. It's a struggle at times. It's a struggle to not believe his words when she hears them all the time, when he's beating her, when he's fucking her. It's his way of torturing her. "I made you strong." He tugs up his pants and buckles his belt. "Get up and dress, we leave in fifteen."

She gets to her feet and he watches her slid back into her worn jeans and filthy T-shirt. After sliding her boots back on, she heads for the tents opening, but he grabs her, yanking her against him. His lips land on hers and she forces herself to respond.

"I love you." He whispers to her.

"I love you too." Beth right away responds, it was the only way to avoid his wrath.

"Good," he mumbles, letting her go. She quickly slides from the tent as she quickly schools her look into something indifferent, hiding how she feels from the men outside.

Martinez catches her gaze as she heads to the bag which contained her few items. The man says not a word as moves by her, simply holding out the last cigarette. The young woman takes it.

(L)

Beth tugged her filthy brown, once white, nit cap over her blond haired head securely. Then, she curls her fingers around her machete 's hilt at her side. Her irises flit to her left and Martinez nodes at her – he'll have her back, if she was unable to get in and out unnoticed, he would handle any unwanted visitors.

There was no telling what was inside the once outlet mall, she was pretty sure nothing useful would be inside, not two years after the world went to shit. Nothing would be inside but walkers, rats, and flies. She understood, Martinez understood, hell the Governor who had ordered her likely understood. He was just fucking with her. Sending her in on a dummy mission like all the times before, testing her. His sick idea of a survival lesson.

She would barely escape with her life, if at all.

She gently shook her head, doing stupid shit like thinking about it wasn't going to change anything. If she were to refuse to go, he would beat her and make her go anyway. She held up one finger at Martinez, if she wasn't back in an hour, well yeah...

She moves from bush after he nods, beginning to move quickly down the wild incline of grass and weeds towards the empty parking lot.

A shambler with a bent leg and half a face moves at her from around a tilted purple van, snarling and reaching for her. She barely blinked as she twisted her arm and slammed her blade into the monster's face, it crumbled. 113 – the number of walkers she had killed. She had no idea why she always counted, why the number was so important to her.

She continued forward, moving quietly towards the back of the outlet mall, she quickly slipped into a darkened foul smelling hallway.

She unclasped her flashlight from her belt and quickly flashed it around. Old blood coats the wall like a twisted painting, but it's free of walkers. She begins forward quietly, stealth was the only way to stay alive. It was the only way to have a mission like this and survive it.

The young woman turns, finding herself in a type of employee lounge. It is way to dark, which makes her nervous, but the girl hears nothing. Her light falls on a vending machine, already smashed open and bare besides an empty nest.

The young woman turns around and heads towards the open door, being careful of the fallen chairs and broken glass. She comes to halt at the open door, her fingers drum against her leg, before her left hand balls into a fist, nails once again digging into her palm. She contemplates her options before moving forward, she honestly didn't have many options.

(L)

She emerges forty minutes later with no spoils but covered in blood. Only thing inside had been walkers, walkers, and more walkers. She had lost count...

"No bites, scratches, chica?" Martinez asks her, his narrowed gaze quickly sweeping over her. Beth tries to hide how bad her body was shaking.

"No..." She answered breathlessly.

"You alright?"

"No."

He falls quiet and lets her regain her bearings before finally speaking again a few minutes later. "Not meaning to sound insensitive..." His eyes move over Beth again, checking again for bite marks. It's nearly impossible to tell with all the blood on her. "I assume you didn't find anything." Her head lowered and she gently shook her head. He mumbles under his breath, rubbing his chin. "You wanna try a house around here... bring back something for he won't get too mad?"

She meets his eyes, and nods once.

They houses yield nothing of use and with a churning stomach Beth loads into the truck with Martinez and both of them head back.

(L)

"There wasn't anything." Her voice is strong as she meets his eyes. The men are all around, winding down for night. All of them sitting around a fire, lazily drinking the last of beers. The Governor paces around her, his hands behind his back, his expression thoughtful. She watches his every move.

"Did you really go in?"

"Yes."

"You're not lying to me?"

"No, I'm not lying."

"What are my men suppose to eat?" He asks lightly.

"It's not my fault there wasn't anything." She mentally curses herself as he grabs her by the front of her shirt. There noses nearly touch.

"What's with that mouth?" He hisses, his eyes ablaze. "Maybe I should dislocate it again, teach you to think before you use it."

Her mouth remains shut. The girls swallows dryly. They stare each other down for awhile before Beth finally looks away, "I'm sorry." She whispers.

He lets go of her roughly, throwing her onto her butt. "Good girl."

Her insides steam, but Beth stays on the ground, her gaze on a slug moving over a small pebble until he has walked away. Then she gets to her feet and dusts herself off. She curses upon finding another hole in her worn jeans. She ignores a few of the men sniggers and glares at the idiots who dare to say anything.

(L)

Beth rummages through the backseat of a Volvo, shifting through the useless clothes and baby clothes. Her hands run across a pair of OK looking jeans she yanks them out. They look about her size. The young woman grins.

"Look what we have here, fellas!" Beth quickly springs back and looks around. She widens her blue eyes as they land on a group a few cars down. A man is standing outside of a gleaming green ford, his hand over his eyes as he looks out at her. "Who let a pretty thing like you out by your lonesome?" He asks as a few more men pop their heads out of their vehicles.

Beth begins to inch away, holding the new jeans close to her. Her body shakes.

"Why don't you stay there?" The man makes his warning sound like a question. She goes completely stiff. Her head whips around, looking towards the trees around her, her facial expression panicky.

"Who are you looking for, sweetheart?" The man questions stepping out of his truck and moving towards her. "I ain't gonna hurt ya."

"Sta – stay way." She weakly says. "Why don't... why don't you move on and leave me alone?" Her voice loudly squeaks and he grins.

"Oh, I can't..." The other men began to walk her way as well. "I can't let a young girl like yourself be out in this big bad world all by herself." A sick grin twists his features. "Something awful could happen to ya..."

Beth takes another step back. "Please..." The man grin widens, obviously getting off on her begging.

"Don't worry, we'll take care of you."

Beth's expression falls flat as her look of fear vanishes completely and her body stops shaking. "Oh."

A gun shot fires and the leader falls, followed by more loud shots as the other men fall, a taken by surprise. From the woods emerge The Governor and his group, his grin wide as the man's had been before he had fallen.

Beth couldn't help but wonder when he was going to fall. When was someone going to wipe that fucking grin off his face.

The Governor moves towards her. "You're good... a little too good." His grin is still in place, which Beth assumes means he's joking. "You worry me a little, Bethany. You did well."

She tilts her head a little, her dirty blond hair moving to hang over her shoulder, an easy, but fake, grin tugs her lips upwards. "Thanks..." She would wipe that fucking grin off his face.

She follows him as the others begin checking the belongings of the men. Someone loudly hoots about a backseat full of liquor. A noiseless sigh escapes her. All she needed was a bunch of drunks idiots on her hands.

They come to the last vehicle which is a truck, a moving van really. Martinez opens the back of it, while the Governor aims a gun inside. They are all met with the wide frightened of five chained women.

"You're all safe now." Philip says without missing a beat. With so much sincerity, Beth almost believed him.

(L)

There are five of them, all of them young, Beth's age and a little older. All of them are filthy and scared, huddling together like beaten rats.

Beth looks them over from her position beside the Governor, as stoic as a rock. Nearly all of them, the ones who weren't afraid of looking up, glanced at her a few times, obviously taking in her appearance. Beth being the only female in the camp, all of them were using her as a gage as to if they would believe the Governor's words.

Beth snorted inwardly – looks could be very deceiving.

"Now, nothing is for free," He tells them as if what he is saying is as normal as hair, "my men need relievers and such, but you don't have to do this if you don't want to. You can leave if you don't want to. But if you stay, you'll be very well protected, you will be given food, and you will not be hurt by anyone. It is your decision." He looks towards Beth who looks back at him and blinks. "Why don't we leave and give them a little time to think it over, huh?" He leans down and kisses her lightly.

When he finally pulls away she lightly smiles because Beth understands she has too, that is what he wants. They walk away from the women.

They come back about an hour later. She avoids looking at all of them this time.

"Well?" Philip asked friendly.

"We're... we're going to stay." One of the women says. Beth's fingers drum against her legs. It wasn't as if they truly had a choice anyway.

"Good," Philip nods. "You made the correct choice. Beth, why don't you show them to a tent and maybe get them some body wash and show them the lake?"

"Alright," Beth shrugs, taking a step forward but the man grabs her back, pulling her very close to him to what may look like a close hug to the idiotic and strangers to Philip. "No bullshit, Bethany."

She lightly smiles and pulls away from him. "Of course not..."

Beth moves from him and waves the women to follow her as she goes searching for a tent.

"Get lost, Chug," Beth says lazily.

"I'm not giving up my fucking tent." The tall brown haired man complained. "Why are you picking on me?"

Beth eyes roll. "I'm not... you have the biggest tent besides the Governor's... unless you want me to go tell him to give up his tent because Chug is afraid of sleeping outside."

"You tease to cruelly, Beth." He grumbles. Chug is harmless. "Alright... alright..." His brown eyes fall on the women behind her. "When can w - "

"Don't even finish that fucking sentence, Chug." She frowns at him. Great, when she was just about to start tolerating him again. He giggles and holds up his hands in surrender.

"I was only going to say..." He walks away. She turns to look at the women who are all looking at her with wide eyes. She's not very sure why and shrugs.

"We leave around noon usually. So, you won't have to worry about over sleeping..." She tries to think of what else to say. "The lake is that way..." She motions to her left. "Yeah..." She turns without another word and walks away.

(L)

"You're lucky to be his girl."

Beth blinks at the tall, lanky, freckled blond. "Wha - what was that?" The girl attempts to comprehend.

Freckles exchanges an uncertain look with a long haired brunette. "The Governor... he's nice."

Beth presses her lips together and snorts unhappily. "Just because he uh... saved you doesn't mean he's a good person. It certainly doesn't make him a nice. Her gaze falls to the crackling fire, then to the fire a few feet away. She could make out the Governor accepting a bottle of liquor with a light charming grin. His eye meets hers, confirming the fact that he was watching her, always watching her.

"He treats you nice." Freckles says, defending the man she had only met a day and a half ago. Beth once again scoffs. "He obviously loves you."

How ridiculous, there was no such thing as love and if there was a such thing she certainly wouldn't have it with the Governor. Love was make-believe, if there was anything close to being what love is, she likes to think her sister and Glen have it.

"He owns me. I belong to him, there is no love there."

(L)

"There isn't anything there." Beth says calmly, leaving emotion out of her voice. The young woman tries to avoid his gaze, but it's burning a hole in her. The camp had gone completely silent as the tension rose to uncomfortable levels. She had honestly tried speaking with him about it away from the group. "I... It would be a suicide mission."

"How are you so sure nothing is there?" He's putting on an act. Acting as if he wasn't boiling under his facade.

"Nothing was in the other stores but walkers and more walkers. I barely made it out of the other two."

"Walkers?" His lip actually curls back in disgust.

"Biters..." Beth corrects herself, shifting uncomfortably on her feet, "I don't believe anything useful is in them."

"Did I ask you what you believe?" He takes a step her way and she takes one back.

Beth licks her lips. "No, but you expect me to go in there when my instincts are tell me no., and when common sense is telling anyone with a brain no!"

Beth lands in the grass, her cheek aching and her mouth filled with blood. She gently shakes her head, shaking off the world's sudden tilts, she then spits. Above her Philip lightly cracks his fingers.

"I – I'm... still not going." She whispers, every word agony in her mouth. She looks up at him, looks him in the eye. Beth wonders if she would be acting so defiant if she had over heard him talking about forming an attack on her old group. Had it made her so angry she wasn't afraid of him killing her?

His foot lands in her side and she curls into herself as the beating begins.

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