TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE

Chapter 26

Sherlock sat at the edge of his bed, staring at nothing in particular. He was wearing white scrubs. The doctors had to provide him with a new set since he tore his old ones. He claimed it was out of boredom.

"Here," The doctor came in with a white pill in a small disposable container. She handed him 125 millilitres of water and handed it to him. Sherlock took them from her. He popped the pill in his mouth and gulped down the water. He opened his mouth to show that he had swallowed it. "Good." She nodded, satisfied. "Sleep well, tonight, Mr. Holmes." Sherlock nodded and then she left, shutting the door behind her.

Sherlock spat the white pill out and stuffed it into his pillow case. But this time, he did something different. He took his pillow out of the case and threw it to the ground. He took the pillow case which held a few dozen pills and escaped from his room.

Repeating what he had done yesterday, he went down the back of the hospital and towards the door which led to the staircase. Absentmindedly, he managed to make it to the staircase without detection. After opening the door, he ran up the staircase and kicked the door to be welcomed by the cool, night breeze.

Slowly, he closed the door behind him and walked out into the open space.

He could see a kilometre within the city. He savoured and cherished the blend of lights that contoured the city, accenting the taller buildings amongst the crowd of smaller ones. Sherlock sighed, the fog of his breath vanishing as quickly as it happened. He walked over to the edge of the building and sat down, cross legged, just staring out into the city. He placed the bag of pills down, threw them next to a chimney pipe.

"I think about you a lot, John." Sherlock admitted, talking to the sky. "I think about what we were, what we used to be..."

Sherlock swallowed through the growing lump in his throat. He had grown accustomed to feeling a tightening throat because he thought of John so often, and whenever he did, the pain of loss slowly seeped back into his body.

"I wonder what I did to lose you. You shouldn't have died, not the way you did." Sherlock shook his head, looking down at the ground which was seven stories beneath him. "I don't think I can last any longer without you. Two years is enough. I've had enough."

Sherlock stood up, a single, warm tear trickling down his left cheek. He reached for the pillow case and grabbed a handful of white pills. He stared at each of them in his palm before opening his mouth widely and popping them in his mouth. He dry swallowed them, cringing as he felt them scratch against his throat. He kept repeating this until no pills remained.

Sherlock lid down on the ground after throwing the pillow case to the side. He stared up at the stars which illuminated the sky. He could count them all if he had the time, but he knew he only had about an hour.

"I'm so weak." Sherlock confessed, hot tears masking his face. "I don't know how any of them believed I could have lived without you. So stupid of them. John...John, tell me what to do...what do I do? I can't do this alone...I don't understand...I don't understand...I don't understand..."

Sherlock woke up.

He wasn't on the roof.

He was standing in a brightly lit hallway. Bookshelves aligned themselves against the walls, only allowing two feet of space for movement.

Sherlock walked but he couldn't feel his legs. They didn't feel attached to his body. He felt like he was floating.

He approached a closed door. He reached out for the knob and turned it, finding it unlocked. The door swung open to reveal a white room. Everything was white: the bookshelves, the books, the carpet, the staircase that led to more bookshelves, the window panes and the curtains. But there was one thing that caught his eye - and it wasn't white.

Someone was sitting in the white chair, staring out the window. The figure's only visible feature was blonde hair because the light that shone through the windows was blinding.

"Hello?" Sherlock called out, taking a step forward.

The figure whipped its head towards him and he nearly choked on his breath. He could hardly believe his eyes.

"J-John."

John stood up, his face unreadable. He advanced towards Sherlock in slow motion as if time were being slowed.

"You're so stupid, Sherlock." John said, teasingly.

Sherlock broke into a wide grin, happiness filling his core.

"Why'd you do that?" John asked, his brown eyes warm and welcoming.

Sherlock closed the space between them, bringing a hand to caress John's face. John leaned into the touch. He felt the same.

"I couldn't stand being apart from you." Sherlock confessed.

John took Sherlock's hand and shook his head. "You're foolish. Stupid and foolish. You could have lived happily, you know."

"No. You were my happiness. I couldn't live in a world without John Watson." Sherlock admitted, looking down shamefully. Suicide was a selfish way to go and he knew that. But what's done is done, and he couldn't go back and undo what he did.

John stared at him, long and hard before sighing. "Well, come on, then."

Sherlock and John swiftly waltzed away, admiring the newly rebuilt mind palace.

You see, the mind palace was only able to properly function with John and Sherlock. If either were missing, it would crumble apart. Because what most people don't understand is even though the palace was named after the mind, it also consisted of the heart.

What made the mind palace so significant was that it was their home. It's where they could be themselves without judgemental attitudes and bigotry. It was the only place which guaranteed safety and contentment, where the two of them could wander forever and not get lost.

The mind palace was their heaven.

Final note from the Author:

It has been a pleasure writing for you all! This story has finally come to its end. I know the outcome of this story was probably different from what you had in mind, but to those who liked it: thank you very much for staying until the end.
To those who didn't like it: Tough luck?
I feel very happy with how it went and if you guys want a Sequel for Moriarty/Sebastian, please review telling me so!