This is for Paula because BartyReg.

Regulus says "I love you, Barty."

But what he means is I love the taste of nicotine on your skin and the way the smoke curls from between your lips the split second before you smile. I need to feel your kisses blaze their way down my spine like cigarette burns to remind me that this is a fucking mistake. I need the way you adore me.

He means It's so convenient, the way you just won't go away. I'm addicted to hurting people who get too close, but that's never bothered you before and don't say I didn't warn you.

He means God help you, Barty, because I surely can't.

Regulus says, "I love you, Barty."

But what he means is I'm going mad and I need your straightjacket embrace, need you to squeeze the smoke from lungs to remind me how to breathe again. You always hold on too tight but some nights I need an excuse to keep from taking a leap from a parapet. You always hold on too tight, and I'm grateful.

He means I've lost all sense of direction so I will go where you lead me. I'll take any Mark you think is worthy of me.

He means Burn me to the ground. I dare you.

Regulus says "I love you, Barty."

But what he means is Kiss me so I have a reason to close my eyes. I don't want to see the blood on my hands, and I'm addicted to your brand of fearlessness. I don't want to hear the screams at night so whisper my name like a prayer that won't end. I don't want this to end.

He means Press me into the mattress and move to the music of my heartbeat. I hope you don't mind that it skips sometimes.

He means Don't let me do this alone.

Regulus says, "I love you, Barty."

What he means is I'm dying for you to love me back.

What he means is I'm dying for a chance to make this right.

What he means is… irrelevant.