No, no, no. It can't be. It can't! Horrible thoughts are going through my head as I'm trying to remember how to breathe.

Maybe somebody else kills him. Maybe he attacks me, so I do it in defense... not on purpose... Maybe The Gammemakers make something evil, like a fire or avalanche, so he dies that way...Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Finnick congratulates Styx and me. I try to return him the smile he gave me, but I think it's more like a grin.

Styx and I shake our hands. I look at his face. He's smiling! How could he smile when he'll have to kill 23 other innocent kids in order to survive? Somehow, I return him the smile, but the look in my eyes is showing him that I don't like the way that he acts. With that grin I may look like a psychopath. The Peacekeepers follow us to the Justice building, where we say our, probably last, goodbyes.

The room is quite big, a bit more than our living room. Its couch is coated in blue velvet. I have a lot of dresses made out of that material. Windows are big and round. There is a silver carpet with a dark blue dolphin embroided in. Mom and dad go into the room first, as they're my parents. Mom looks so proud, and dad's face is satisfied also.

''We're so proud of you, Meredith!'', mom screams and hugs me tightly. I see tears of joy in her eyes. I'm her baby-star now. Dad sits next to me, pets me on my head as he used to when I was little, and says calmly: ''Just make sure you grab a trident and some other things at Cornucopia. Try to make allies, Styx for instance. Or be with other volunteers. You will certainly win like that''. He's right for the trident, but allies with Styx? I don't think I would like that. Yes, he is my best friend's brother, but he will certainly be with volunteers. And that is not my plan!

In that moment, Peacekeepers enter the room and tell us that my mom and dad's time is up.

''See you in a few days'', I say with fake confidence, preventing my parents from saying something. I wave to them and they exit the room.

Marlene enters the room and sits on a chair in front of me. She smiles. I immediately return her the smile. It's not fake; it's one of the rare real smiles I have. Marlene says that's one of the nicest smiles she has seen.

''You're so lucky!'', she starts. I hope she didn't see that I rolled my eyes. ''I know you wanted the glory for you, but why you didn't let me volunteer? You know I wanted to!'' Marlene says. Oh, I'm sick of it! I'm sick of her talking about The Games that way!

''I would switch positions with you this moment, if I could'', I say. My tongue was faster than my mind. She looked very surprised and astonished.

''But… but why did you volunteer, then?'' She asked quietly. I sigh.

''Just because I had to'', I say gloomy. ''Mom made me''

There was a long pause. ''But why didn't you tell me?'', Marlene asks at the end. I try to say something, but no words came out. She sits next to me and I immediately put my head on her shoulder, hugging her. Softly, she returns the hug and starts petting my head. Just like when she did when Eatheleen died. I want this moment to last. Tears start rolling down my cheek. I try to stop them, but with no success. She grabs my shoulders and pulls me in front of her. Our eyes meet.

''You'll win'', she says firmly. ''You use trident better than anybody in our district. You can use nets. Styx taught you to use throwing knives. You know what fish is edible. You'll have a lot of sponsors. You have a big chance, don't give up before it starts!'' Marlene shakes me.

''I won't!'' I say. Peacekeepers enter the room, telling us that she should leave. ''You know I won't!'' I scream as they drag Marlene out. ''You know I won't!''

Tears continue to flow, no matter how hard I try to stop them. I realize that this will probably be the last time I see Marlene. I want to go outside, find her and continue my life from two hours ago. But I can't. I know I can't. I wipe my tears off. No more crying. It's unacceptable. They're going to film us on the train station. Then, everybody can see that I cried, and they will mark me as a weak person. No, that's out of the question! I look around the room. There is a little glass with water. I search for some handkerchiefs. There are none. I put my hands in the glass and tap water on my eyes. I hope it's not so visible anymore.

The next visitor is completely unexpected. Lyn Silver is a girl who gave me that big scar on my back. It was the first day when we used tridents at school. As I had used them before, I was very good at that lesson. Marlene was maybe the only one better than me. Lyn wasn't. That was her first time using trident, so she was very clumsy with it. She tried to jab the fish at the aquarium, but instead she scratched me. I remember the enormous pain I felt then. Marlene immediately stood up, pointing her trident at Lyn. No need to say that Lyn was looking very scared. Why wouldn't she be? Marlene is very strong and knows to use weapons very well. She would probably attack Lyn, if the teacher didn't stop her. ''What are you doing!?'', teacher screamed and dragged Marlene away. She saw me and we immediately went to the hospital. It's a building with about 10 rooms for patients, 15 cubical and a lot of doctors. My wound would probably have had bigger consequences if I hadn't gone to the hospital straight away. Lyn was apologizing so much, but I still don't know was that on purpose.

''Hello'' Lyn says quietly. I return her with same salute. Why did she come? To tell me that she's angry she wasn't accepted in the Games? I don't think she's a career.

''I'm sorry'', she says. I'm confused. About what? About what happened that day? About the fact that I'll have to kill 23 other people in order to survive? She must have seen my confused expression, because she said: ''I'm sorry about both - what I did to you, and that you're in The Hunger Games''. I try to say something, but instead I just nod. Slowly, Lyn takes out a necklace from her pocket and gives it to me. I look at it. Its chain-let is sea blue, and has a pendant made out of gold. It's a trident. I put it around my neck. I feel cold metal on my skin.

''Wear it as a token, ok?'' Lyn asks calmly and gives me a weak smile. I nod and return her the smile. As it's time for her to go, she waves at me and says: ''Hope I'll see you in a week!''

Now I know that attack wasn't on purpose.