It began as any other day of the week. The birds were singing, the bees were buzzing and the cities' massive homeless population had ambushed and eaten alive a prolific hedge-fund manager. Across town, on the opposite side of the city from the scene of the cannibalistic hobos, lay the Skool which, despite recent cutbacks in the education budget, was recently in session.

Today's lesson had included a short, archaic film on how best to avoid developing scurvy whilst traveling the high seas. As the film ended and the floresant lights flicked back on in the classroom, eldritch crone known as Ms. Bitters spoke, "As you can see, children. The hubris of the adventurous sailors was punished severely by fate, stricken down by the horrible malady, many a mariner died a horrible, agonizing death in the foolish pursuit of a better life. Let this be a reminder of the folly of hope and foolhearty exploration. Any questions?"

Several hands, and one foot, shot up throughout the classroom, the children attached asking such inane questions such as: "Will I get scurvy if I don't brush my teeth?" and "Does walrus meat prevent scurvy?"

But one question broke the pattern. It was Zita, the purple-haired girl situated behind the ugly, green kid that inquired: "Hey. Where's Poonchy?"

All heads turned to vacant desk in the front row as the abscense of it's owner became glaringly obvious. A feral growl accompanied by the hissing of cicadas broke the silence as Ms. Bitters glared at the empty desk. The crone's arm shot out, stretching farther than the length of her body, to snatch up the phone upon her desk. "Hello. This is Classroom Thirteen. One of children has escaped... send the dogs."

Ms. Bitters returned her attention to the remaining children, who were quite visibly wincing (they had all knew of the demon hounds that had replaced the truancy officers some years back), and spoke, "It seems as though Poonchy has decided to skip skool today. His punishment with be swift and terrible. In a meantime, the skoolboard has sent a substitute student to take the little vermin's place." The arch-hag raised her hand to the classroom door, the entrance to the room opening through her sheer force of will, to reveal the substitute student.

Let's get this over with.

The new student was female and possessed the pale, white skin of someone who had spent their entire life on the underside of a rock. Her hair looked like she had taken the skin off of a dead skunk, dyed it's stripe pink, then stapled it to her head. Her clothes were schizophrenic to put it politely. She wore a black coat that seemed to have once been a straightjacket and a pair of combat boots possessing a redundant amount of buckles, these were starkly contrasted by a bright, pink tutu and tights also present upon her form.

She looked like an epileptic licorice all-sort.

Wide-eyed and with a manic smile upon her face, she addressed her fellow students in a voice that sounded like someone taking a sledgehammer to a dogtoy.

"HIIIII, everyone! My name is COUNTNEY! And I'm SO EXCITED to be here!" She gave a shrill, squealing giggle that caused fissures to appear in glass windows. The horrid child looked upon the rest of the class, eyes darting from student to student, taking in the sights of her new peers who looked back at her with boredom and contempt.

All save for the ugly, green kid. He looked at her in pure terror. For while the rest of the classroom saw her bright, smiling eyesore of her face, Zim saw nothing of the sort. He saw her staring right at him through emotionless, half-lidded eyes, her face blank save for the faintest hint of cold determination.

Had Zim possessed a bladder, it would have emptied on the spot.

Now, how it is physically possible for Countney to stare intensely at Zim whilst at the same time smiling to the rest of the class is open for debate. Let's continue on with the story, shall we.

"If you're excited then it means you haven't been paying attention. Sit down, you horrible child." Commanded Ms. Bitters, a hand pointing to the empty desk with a sound akin to the cracking of a whip.

Skipping happily to the vacant seat, or what Zim saw, which was her floating over, never breaking her intense stare, the girl sat down and the lesson continued.

It was after lunch when the new girl arrived, so Skool was soon over. None of the other children flooding the streets were quite as happy as Zim with this occurrence. Countney had continued to stare at him throughout the rest of the skool day and it gave the Irken Invader the absolute creeps. When the bell sounded the alien was out of door in a flash, leaving the creepy girl behind in the resulting stampede of children.

That had been several minutes ago and the Irken was now half-way to his base with not a care in all of known space. Whistling a cheerful tune, the alien took a right turn and found himself strolling down a dark alleyway. Like a deflating balloon his whistling stopped as he found himself face to face with large, brick wall.

"Oh, who put this here?!" Zim demanded of no one in particular as to why an enormous piece of masonry, which had been there since before his arrival on Earth, was now standing in his way.

"Zim shall return one day to reap vengeance upon you for standing in his way, foul construct of baked clay! Do you hear me?! ONE DAAAAAAAAAAY!" Satisfied that he had sufficiently terrified the inanimate, immovable object with the threat of his unstoppable force, the Irken spun upon his heel and strode back out towards the street.

And wouldn't you know it, there stood the creepy, staring girl from before at the end of the alley.

"Give it a rest, demonic grub-girl! Your little staring trick has gotten old and no longer impresses the mighty ZIIIIIIIM!" He shouted at his stalker as he crossed his arms. "Come back when you have some new material!"

Countney began to walk slowly towards the irritated Irken, taking short, slow steps. Then it seemed as though someone had pressed a reality-bending fast-forward button for a second and the creepy girl was suddenly one third of the way there.

"Hm, well. That's new." Zim had to admit.

The horrid girl used this trick twice more to close the distance. Coming face to face his her prey, her eyes turned white and pupil-less and she let out a screech, revealing long, pointy fangs which she soon sank into the soft, green flesh of Zim's neck.

It took a second for the Irken to realize what had happened. When he did, he let out a terrified scream of terror and started to run around in a circle, swatting with flailing limbs at the bloodsucking child which was hanging onto his neck like a fish on a hook. This went on for several moments before Zim tripped over a pile of garbage cans and ended up flat on his Pak.

Her prey finally rendered dazed, Countney started to suck the green boy's blood. However, as the taste of the alien's blood-juices touched her tongue she released her hold upon her victim's neck and leaped back.

"Ewwww! You taste YUCKY! Bleeeeeeh!" Blowing raspberries as she attempted to get the awful taste out of her mouth, the horrid, vampire child climbed up the wretched brick wall like a spider monkey, fleeing the scene.

Leaving Zim, lying dazed and confused like a discarded sock, alone in the alley.