Two fics at once?! I'm hoping that writing two will keep me motivated and help stave off writer's block! Also, I have a couple of chapters of this one already written, so I feel ahead of the game.

If all goes according to plan, this fic is going to be HUGE. GIGANTOR, even. There are TWO separate plots and I'm going to try my hardest NOT to fuck this up, but I make no promises. I feel very comfortable with the writing style employed in Heart of Light & Certain Dark things and this is very much out of my comfort zone. I'm afraid of over-writing, bogging you down with text, and just being boring. So please, please, let me know how this is going. If you like something, tell me. And if you hate something, TELL ME EVEN MORE.

Kind of scared about this one, because it's so much harder to writer than my other fics and I find myself second-guessing every word (which is agonizing). Hopefully it'll turn out all right in the end.

Love :)

"Everyone can master a grief but he that has it"

- William Shakespeare

Despite the number of times Alec wished to have more time with Magnus, to not have to spend every free moment looking out for his siblings, to not have his parents agonizing over his every move, he never wanted it to be under these circumstances. Not at the expense of his little brother.

It had been over three months since he died. Three months since Alec left him behind to be slaughtered by a monster. Three months and Alec could still hear him arguing with Jace about comic book characters. Could still feel his hands as he tried to teach him the proper way to hold a bow. Could still see him, ensconced in the Institute's sofa, trying to study books that his parents had deemed off-limits, squinting at the gruesome pictures and pretending not to be afraid.

At first he had tried to stave off his grief by taking off around the world with Magnus. After all, if there was one thing Magnus had in large supply, it was the capacity to distract. His clothes, his voice, his body, his whole persona was crafted to command absolute attention. But beyond the glitz and sarcasm and outfits that hurt his eyes to even think about, Magnus provided Alec with comfort. With a combination of love and magic, Magnus helped Alec through the worst of those first weeks. With slow kisses in dimly lit hotel rooms, rich history lessons of whatever European countryside they found themselves stranded in, bottles of wine shared under forgotten bridges, and the occasional spell that helped drain the anxiety when it became too much, Magnus helped Alec heal.

That's why instead of being there for his family, Alec had spent the majority of the past three months since his return in Brooklyn. For the first time in his life, Alec was being selfish. Even though Jace was part of him - bound by the bonds of love and magic and grief – it wasn't the same since Clary had come along. He now understood exactly how Jace felt. He knew that his absence was particularly unfair to Izzy, who blamed herself perhaps more than any of them, but in light of all that had happened, Magnus was now the only person who could disperse the haze of guilt and anger that he had constructed around himself. Despite his sister's attempts to get him to spend more time at home, the Institute was too full of memories and did nothing but exacerbate his own feelings of inadequacy. The empty, shadowed rooms extorted his darkest thoughts, and the pervasive silence was almost enough to drive him to madness. His father was never home, his mother was withdrawn, and the absence of Max seemed to bleed through every crack. Ghosts of simpler times haunted the hallowed halls, and Alec couldn't stand to be there for longer than necessary.

No, there was no way he would have been able to make it through something like this without Magnus. Beautiful, vibrant Magnus, whose arguments with Chairman Meow alone were enough to make him forget about the mess that his life had become. Magnus was like the holding grounds he had read about in one of the mundane books Jace had lent him - a shelter to escape the storm of life. His own personal - albeit rainbow-tinted - beacon.

Even so, he couldn't completely escape the obligations of Clave. There were still patrols to complete, reports to write, and duties to fulfill. With his sudden departure he had missed the brunt of the Clave's initial displeasure, but between his parents, Jocelyn, and Luke, most of the issues were worked out without him.

There were also some obligations that Magnus couldn't escape. As High Warlock of Brooklyn he was expected at many of the newly formed Conclave's meetings. A warlock council member still had not been chosen, and Magnus was doing everything in his power to ensure that the settled-upon candidate was not him. He was continuously running off to attend meetings, doing everything within his - prodigious, as he liked to remind Alec - power to help. There were nights that Alec would wake up only to find a note jotted on a ridiculously ornate piece of stationary, letting him know that Magnus was meeting with another of his contacts who claimed to know something about a secret pact to eliminate the werewolves or to ambush the Shadowhunters while under the guise of friendship. Alec was grateful for Magnus's enthusiasm, knowing that much of his interest in building a strong foundation with the other races had a lot to do with their relationship, but he couldn't help but worry about his boyfriend. Not only was Magnus's strength slowly draining, Alec had no idea what would happen if Magnusbecame too involved. The Clave hadn't exactly been welcoming of the changes in the first place, and having the boyfriend of the first openly gay shadowhunter butting his sparkly head into everything would probably make things…strained. Accords or no accords, there were only too many shadowhunters who would be willing to bring down retribution upon a downworlder who was getting too involved in their politics. Still, Alec knew better than anyone that it was impossible to stop Magnus Bane once he set his mind to something.

When confronted about his dwindling energy levels, Magnus would invariably crack a joke about showing Alec just how much energy he had, which would lead to a thorough display of said energy, rendering Alec's initial qualms either irrelevant or forgotten. But Alec was seriously worried about how much longer Magnus could keep going at such a pace, so when he was summoned to the Institute in the early hours of the morning, he left the warlock in bed, getting some well-deserved rest. Magnus had endured eight hundred years of not being privy to the inner workings of the Clave, and he could certainly deal with missing a single meeting that was probably just a plea from his family to spend more time at home.

He pulled his coat tightly around him as he exited Magnus's building. The warm glow of autumn had given way to grey skies and a sharp wind that cut against the skin like a blade. Rubbing his hands together, Alec set off at a brisk jog, hoping that the activity would both wake and warm him; a coffee could have achieved the same result, but he knew that even a few extra seconds puttering around the apartment may have roused Magnus. He still wouldn't be surprised if he opened up the doors of the Institute only to see his boyfriend's lazy smile gleaming out from the darkness, cat eyes luminescent in the dingy corridors. He picked up the pace a little - the quicker he got to the Institute, the quicker he could leave, hopefully in time to crawl back into bed with the only person who could dispel the steadily encroaching chill.

Inside the Institute was pandemonium. As soon as he opened the door, Alec was bombarded by a cacophony of voices spilling out into the entrance. The din was enough to drown out his presence, and no one bothered to come greet him. He shrugged out of his jacket and ran his hands through his wind-tousled hair before confronting his family.

When he stepped into the dining room, he was taken aback at the sight before him: not only were both his parents present, but also a number of shadowhunters he didn't recognize. Shadowhunters from other Institutes, no doubt. He shivered, the sweat on his skin a frigid sheath. This meeting was certainly not going to be about Lightwood family trivialities. But a quick scan of the room reassured him that no great tragedy had occured- Izzy would not look so bored were that the case. Nor would Clary and Jace be making such obvious bedroom eyes. He hoped.

Still unnoticed, Alec cleared his throat before approaching the table. Izzy's neck snapped up at the sound of his voice, but a tiny nod was her only acknowledgement of his presence. His father, back for the first time since Max's death, gave him a quick nod and motioned for him to sit.

"Alexander," he said, "we have received instruction from the Clave that concerns you specifically."

Panic seized Alec, tight and hard and unrelenting. His mind raced with the possible reasons the Clave would want to speak with him; all of them involved Magnus and his very public display of affection and none of them were good. Still, Alec had a duty to the Clave and Consul, and it wouldn't help Magnus to be disobedient now. He would find a way to help his boyfriend, no matter what the Clave tried to force him into.

"An assignment?" Alec asked, his voice as steady as possible.

His father nodded. "With my absence, New York is left woefully unprotected. I have been reassigned to Idris for a time, and your mother has insisted on returning to the city as well." Alec couldn't blame her – he was sure that the Institute had become more of a prison in these past few months than it had been during her time of exile. While he had Magnus to help him through his pain, the incident seemed to have widened a long existing rift between his parents. Maybe some time together would help the both of them.

"The London Institute is sending one of their young Shadowhunters here to train and fight with you and Isabelle. As you're now of age, it will be your responsibility to make him feel welcome, introduce him to the area, and help him settle into New York life. He will be placed here for an indeterminate amount of time."

Alec knew better than to embarrass himself and his father by speaking out against the Clave, so he just nodded his assent. His father turned back to his guests, dismissing Alec with a quick flick of his wrist. Alec gestured to Izzy, and she slipped out of the room behind him.

"A new shadowhunter?" Alec spat as soon as they were in an empty room. "The institute is left 'woefully unprotected'? What kind of bullshit is that? Since when have the three of us not been enough? It's insulting to the Lightwood name to insinuate that we can't take care of our own city."

"That's just it," Izzy said, her fingers tracing the edge of a pillow. The gesture seemed helpless - something Alec wasn't used to associating with his sister. He wondered if it was just the shock of the announcement or if he had just been gone so long that she had changed without him noticing. They never had time to talk while they were hunting, and Alec didn't even shower before going to Magnus's anymore.

"So you think they were lying about why they're sending him here?"

"That's what the argument was about when you got here. Apparently there have been whispers about the Lightwoods and mom wanted to ensure that the Clave was not giving credence to idle gossip. That's why she's going to Idris too."

"What gossip?" Usually the inner machinations of the Clave didn't interest him, but Alec was proud of his family, and he wouldn't let anyone besmirch their name.

"Apparently some have called into question the authenticity of the Lightwood loyalty."

"Because of Jace? And Valentine?" Alec asked, struggling to keep his voice under control.

"Everything," Izzy replied, her eyes wide and distant. "Apparently we have a "rebellious attitude and a penchant to flout authority.""

"So they're bringing mom and dad into this," Alec said.

"Mom, Dad, Jace, Me." Izzy hesistated.

"And me," Alec finished. "Let me guess? Shaming myself in front of the Clave?"

"Cavorting with downworlders, apparently."

Alec took a deep breath, willing himself to accept that storming back into the meeting would do more harm than good. "So it's Magnus they've a problem with? What happened to respecting the new agreements? Have they forgotten everything that's happened in the last few months?"

Izzy didn't answer, but Alec didn't need her to. Despite recent reparations, a large portion of the Clave was still composed of prejudiced bigots too entrenched in their archaic beliefs to recognize that they would have been annihilated if not for downworlders like Magnus.

"So when's the spy set to arrive?"

"Tomorrow." She got to her feet and stretched. "I think they expect you to stay," she added as Alec got to his feet as well.

"I'll be here early," Alec replied, stuffing his hands in his pockets and heading for the door. "The Clave can control almost everything in my life, but they can't control this. They can't get rid of Magnus, or how I feel about him, no matter how hard they try."

Izzy smiled, but the gesture didn't quite reach her eyes. "I know," she said. "I'll see you tomorrow, Alec."

Alec paused and turned to wrap his arms around his sister. She stiffened for a second, but quickly wrapped her arms around him in return. "I'll be here nice and early, Iz," he said.

"Bring Magnus," she replied, grinning for the first time. "I'm sure he can give them something worth gossiping about."

Let me know what you think, lovelies. Also, don't worry about this slowing down Certain Dark Things - I fly through those chapters!