Thank you for viewing! I'm starting up a new story (even though I haven't touched the last one). I know some of you may never had pictured a chubby Romano but I can. Trust me, when you are in an Italian family, you eat a lot of pastas and carbs. And when you eat all of that, you gain weight. It sucks. Because it is a constant battle against society's requirements for "popularity" and such. However, I can honestly say that I am not bullied at school. Though my father and brother seem to like to (mainly my brother calling me fat all the time, although not so much nowadays).

I just wanted to write something that is relatable. So please, treat me kindly. (And sorry for the mistakes, I find it hard to read things over.) Thank you!

A Weighted Love

If you could wish for one thing, one thing at all, what would it be? I will tell you right now the first thing that comes to mind is to be skinny. Sure, there are a bunch of other things, but that's what I want the most right now.

See, in order to be accepted by society, or the bastards you have to deal with for five days a week in an educational prison called school, you have to be thin and good-looking and wear expensive clothes. Ah, let's see.

Not skinny (pointed that out already).

I'm not sure if I'm ugly or not. In my opinion, no. But that doesn't matter because of the first.

Can't wear the accepted brands of clothing because you have to be skinny.

Oh would you look at that? I am officially pushed out of society! Hooray for all the fuckers who kicked me out!

Sarcasm, people- it's my specialty.

But seriously, you have no idea what I go through every day. Every morning I look at myself in the mirror, grasping at the fat that is everywhere on my body. Stomach, thighs, hips, my chin. It all makes me sick to see. I want it gone, disappeared, andato.

It doesn't go away though. Still there, every single day.

Putting on my loose jeans and baggy Italia shirt, my morning rituals are continued on until I get on the bus with my fratello. Feliciano is full blood related to me, hell we look like twins, despite me being a little less than 2 years older. He is as skinny as a rail and eats like a fucking pig. He gorges himself on various pastas at least 4 times a week.

I used to do that, but a few years ago, Nonno had bluntly told me, "You should lay off the pasta a bit Lovino. You're getting a little pudgy there!" He started laugh right after. Mouth open wide for the twirled angel hair that was on my fork, I dropped it onto the plate. My face was burning with embarrassment and anger. I left to my room directly after that.

Now, I am on a diet of skim milk, low calorie foods, and fat free stuff. I try to run every day, but it's hard. I'm not that weak to give up though! My motivation is just dwindling, that's all.

While thinking over these things, the bus had come to a stop at the middle school. We drop them off first then go to the high school. It's an annoying process, but it works.

I look over to Feliciano in the seat ahead of me. He's sitting with the potato-bastard as usual. I hate that guy; he always looks at me funny. And he's all buff too! What kind of sophomore is just under 6 feet and more muscular than the people in sports magazines? I don't know.

The potato-bastard is nodding at the things Feliciano is jabbering about. Food or something, he's talking too fast for my early morning brain to process. I give the potato credit though being able to stand my brother though. He's way too clingy and speaks at a rapid-fire rate. Even I can only take so much of him.

My staring was interrupted by a flick to the back of my head. I turn around, rubbing at the now agitated area on my scalp. I glare at potato-bastard number two- the albino version. Gilbert's smirk grew as I yelled at him for being an ass. The blood-red irises of his eyes seem to taunt me even more, my face turning a similar shade as well. I hate it when they bother me. Lower my self-esteem even more why don't you!

The bus jerked to a start as it moved up more in the line. The younger kids in the front got off first and then another group of high school students took their place to be brought to the living hell.

Oh, and with this group comes the cheese-bastard? No? Guess you know now!

Francis had slid into the same seat as Gilbert, bidding him a good morning in that creepy French accent. Gives me the chills every time I hear it, damn it! He then looks to me, giving me a fucking rapist smile. I cringe and quickly move my body around, but he doesn't let me go.

"Ohonhon, how are you this wonderful morning, Lovino? Still don't have the perfect body, I see!" The laughter again, with more giggles added in by others. That mocking, fucking laughter!

I put my head down, pinching my face tight to prevent tears from escaping. Thank God my hair is long enough to hide my face a little. I would be mortified if they saw that I was trying not to cry like a pansy.

Everything dies down as the yellow method of transportation comes to a halt. People start filing out of the seats and out the door. I get off as quickly as possible and start my way up the short flight of steps. Gilbert and France are behind me, interest of the previous affair lost as they talk about a new student that was supposedly arriving today.

"So where's this new kid from anyway? The awesome me wants to know!"

"Hm, I think I heard he was from Spain. But I'm not completely sure. We should introduce ourselves later. Don't you agree?" Francis flipped his blond hair in a girl fashion, nose high in the air.

"Yeah! We can make a group or something! C'mon, Francy-pants, let's go find him!" The duo had run off, or more precisely, Gilbert running off with Francis speed walking behind. With both far ahead of me, I felt a bit safer. Usually the bullying starts whenever they are around. Without the cheese-bastard and potato-bastard number two around, life is tolerably.

The foyer hallway was packed with students waiting to be released to the rest of the school at 7:25. People bumped against me like always, in a rush to nowhere. However, I was startled by a large push on my back. I almost lost my balance but somehow stood straight again. Anger was starting to boil inside of me until I felt a poke to my shoulder. I didn't look back until there was a succession of short prodding in the same spot. "What do you want, bastardo?!"

The person had jumped slightly at my outburst though smiled at me. What is wrong with this person? No one smiles in this hell-hole!

"¡Hola~! Lo siento but I accidently got pushed into you! Are you okay?"

I finally got a good look at him once I calmed down. He had rich, chocolate locks, sun-kissed skin, and eyes that could put an emerald to shame. His smile was bright and his face handsome- high-quality popularity material. However, I remembered to Francis and Gilbert's conversation from earlier. This had to be the new student, as his accent and language choice was clearly Spanish.

"Hey, are you really okay? Your face is like a tomato!" I got snapped out of my observations and I scowled. I know my face looks like a tomato, damn it! It's red and pudgy and squishy and…

I look down. Those thoughts are back again. "Yeah, I'm fine! Now leave me alone."

Apparently he doesn't fulfill my wishes because he decides to keep talking. "Wait! I'm new here and I don't know where my first period class is."

He takes out a folded half sheet of paper from his pocket and opens it up. He pointed to the class at the top of the list was coincidently the same as mine- band. First period was my favorite class. I could indulge in music and feel alive while my fingers flowed gently over the glittering silver keys of my clarinet. I played everything I could get my hands on.

"Do you know where the band room is? I don't know where anything is in this building…" His free hand went up to rub the back of his head in embarrassment. I sighed, a puff of warm air flowing out.

"Fine. Only because I have to go there too, idiota! But I have to go to my locker first. Either go to your locker and come back here or follow me since the music suite is right down the hall." The teachers released us to our own devices and we began moving. The Spaniard agreed to meet me back here, much to my chagrin.

I quickly head towards my locker in the language and science wing of the academy. I feel as though the others in my grade are look at me with hidden eyes and feeling the slight vibrations I make as I walk. I can feel them too, that's why I try to step softly half the time. Everything is ridiculous.

Grabbing the various binders and folders I make my way towards the foyer again, taking the less populated route around. I see the new student, patiently waiting for my return. I call out to him, giving simple instructions to follow. And he does, like a lost puppy.

"Okay, listen up because I won't show you again! This is the music suite and has 3 openings, two of which are unlocked on the outside." I show him the doors, band students moving through them. He nods showing me he understands and I show him to the correct room that we use. Besides the band room, there is a chorus room, office, and a few practice rooms.

He smiles brightly at me again and hugs me. I start spluttering out unintelligent words. I felt my face burning up more than ever, reaching to the tips of my ears. I finally mustered enough strength to push him off of me and he had this cute look on his face.

Did I just say cute? Cute? Oh God, someone help me…

"Hahaha! Lo siento, I just wanted to thank you in some way! Hugging was the best option!"

I looked at him like he was crazy. "Bastard! Don't touch me! God, you just don't go hugging a person you know."

"I'm Antonio" He said.

"What?"

"I am Antonio. And you are…?" The Spaniard reached a hand out, awaiting an answer. I looked away and mumbled out a reply.

"Hmmm? What was that?"

"I said, 'My name is Lovino'!" I yelled out in frustration. Why did I even tell him in the first place?

"Well, nice to meet you Lovi~! I'll see you later!"

"It's not 'Lovi', you bastard!" And he ran off into the band room.

I walked in after him to get set up for practice. I said my greetings to my teacher, Mrs. Reverend. She was a nice lady who you could tell anything to. She was like a mother to all of us too, giving us treats every now and then or letting us watch a movie. Out of all the teachers I had, she was one of my favorites.

We kept all the instruments in these lockers for safe keeping. Mine was in the smaller sized ones as a clarinet case isn't that large. Leaving my stuff in the front of the locker, I took the case and went to my seat of 2nd chair in the clarinet section. The seniors always get first chair since it's their last year. But I was ahead of everyone else since there was only one senior good enough to be first.

Getting the reed moist, I looked towards where Antonio was. He was standing next to Gilbert. Yes, Gilbert is in band. He plays the flute- the daintiest instrument we have. I don't know why he plays it, but he treasures his flute which is admirable in a musician's point of view.

Going back to now, Gilbert had an arm slung over Antonio's shoulders, chatting. It was too loud with everyone warming up to here what they were saying.

Best guess is that Gilbert is going with his plan to get Antonio to join in with him and Francis. And probably talking about me too, no less. Being one of the laughing stocks of the school causes that to happen.

Shoo, shoo! I swish away the bad thoughts away in my mind. No need to get this depressed during my favorite class!

I focus on the music for the upcoming concert, a beautiful piece called "October" composed by Eric Whitacre. There is a clarinet solo in the beginning that Mrs. Reverend chose for me to play. She told me that I was one her most dedicated students and should play it for our opening concert. I was happy that she told me that because I feel as though music is the only thing my life is worth living for.

I started playing, fingers moving perfectly. I was moving into my own world right now and it's filled with music and tomatoes. The two greatest things in the world.

I absolutely love tomatoes! I just don't like to be called one!

The notes filed out until I heard the tap of the tap of Mrs. Reverend's baton on the conductors stand. "Alright guys! We have a new student who is joining us. His name is Antonio Fernandez Carriedo. For this concert, he will be playing the trumpet."

I looked at him and he had a smile on, but his teeth were not showing like before. What is he, shy? Seemed pretty enthusiastic to me.

Antonio caught my eye and titled his head slightly, mouth growing wider. I blushed and turned my head away. Is it his goal or something to make me blush every minute or something?!

He walked around to the trumpet section, pulling up a chair next to the first player, ah, Alfred I think? Well, Alfred had begun conversing with him a little bit loudly and told him to just watch for now.

Mrs. Reverend clicked the tip of the baton again against the metal to gain everyone's attention. "Okay, B flat scale! And one, two, three, four…"

Practice had gone pretty well. It's not like we're fantastic or anything, but we all manage along pretty well. I gently put the pieces away and into my locker and picked up my supplies. Pulling my shirt down in the process to make sure that no skin peeks out, I quickly walked out to the suite hallway to wait for the bell. Antonio found me at this time as well.

"You guys are pretty good! And you play the clarinet so beautifully! ¡Fantástico~!"

I blushed for the umpteenth time today thanks to him. "T-thanks…I guess…"

My perfect moment was ruined when potato-bastard #2 walked in. He stood next to Antonio and started leading him away from me. "Hey, I told you to stay away from that fatty! It's not awesome! Come on, you need to meet Francis, he's in the next class we have together."

I looked on in sadness. It felt as though my heart had taken a sharp blow, chips of the solid mass falling away.

Why do I feel so broken? What is this feeling?

Okay, I have not played "October" but I've been listening to it. I have been second guessing myself whether or not it is a clarinet or an oboe... Ahh it's hard to tell! Oh, and I play the flute by the way, so I understand music! :)

Thank you very much for reading! I apologize if I just seem to drag things on too much with too many details... It is a habit.

Please review, it makes me happy to know people will want to read more and like it!

Oh, and I have other stories, such as another Spamano one- "Without You, I'm Just a Sleepwalker" Check it out if you want~