A silly one-shot inspired by the lack of Gar/Star friendship fics out there.

"Ah-CHOO!"

The Titans looked up as Beast Boy, his uniform twisted around his body and his shoes missing, walked into the main room. His eyes were crusty, bloodshot, and under his nose were bloodstains, dried snot, and green goo.

He rubbed his nose and moaned.

"Beast Boy, are you okay?" asked Robin.

Beast Boy nodded and sneezed in the crease of his elbow. When he pulled his arm away, a line of snot trailed from his nostrils to his arm.

"Ewe," Raven moaned pushing away her teacup.

Cyborg, whose face was turning a small shade of green, grabbed a paper napkin and tossed the sheet to the changeling. "Here, green snot-blow your nose."

The Titans watched him pick up the napkin, and blow his nose in sounds that reminded Robin of the elephants from the circus when they fell ill. Starfire pushed away her plate of eggs and bacon and felt like she was never going to eat again.

"Beast Boy," Robin said, "you're sick. You need to go back to bed and rest until you feel better."

"Ugh," Beast Boy rubbed his nose and yawned. Starfire thought the scent of his breath was going to melt off her eyebrows. "Okay..."

He walked back to his room and sneezed at least twelve times.

Starfire, knowing that any of her recipes from home would do him no good, pulled out his tofu cookbook and, with Robin's supervision as Raven and Cyborg hurried to fix the T-Car, successfully cooked tofu eggs with tofu cheese, tofu bacon, and served a glass of orange juice on a tray. She flew to Beast Boy's room and knocked.

"Beast Boy?" she asked.

"I'm in the bathroom," his voice croaked out from the bathroom. "Don't come in."

The princess grimaced and held out the tray. "I did not have any intention of entering, Beast Boy." Then she lightly smiled. "I have made you the eggs of tofu and bacon of tofu in case-"

"Oh, I have diarrhea," the green guy moaned. "I can't eat now."

Starfire stuck out her tongue and kept her eyes away from the plate. "I don't know if I can ever eat again," she moaned.

"Thanks though, Star," he added. "Just put them in the fridge and I'll reheat them when I feel better-Ah-CHOO!"

She heard the sound of a flushing toilet, and out walked Beast Boy and a horrible smell. "I put in cherry air freshener, but it should take about half an hour."

Starfire thrust at him the tray and closed the door. When she turned back, Beast Boy had walked to his room, set the cold breakfast on his nightstand, and crawled into bed. "Oh...Star, can you give me the orange juice? And maybe some Tylenol? The small red circles that Silkie once mistaken for candy..."

"I will," Starfire said.

She flew back to the kitchen and opened at least twelve different bottles of pills before finding what she needed and leaving stray opened bottles inside the cabinet. In Beast Boy's room, she helped him swallow the pills and leaned his head back against the pillows. She was about to stroke back his hair when her hand burned. "Beast Boy! Your fore of the head has left my hand in heat!"

"Ugh..." Beast Boy pulled a thermometer out of nowhere and slid the metal item under his tongue, watching as the numbers beeped 108 degrees. "Can you run me a cold bath?"

Starfire sighed and set the tub as cold as it could go while Beast Boy changed out of his sticky uniform, transformed into a falcon despite his pounding headache, and morphed into a fish before jumping in.

As he closed his eyes and moved his tail back and forth, back and forth, Starfire took to cleaning his room-old pizza boxes, plastic videogame containers, moldy protein bars, bikini magazines, and an uncapped antiperspirant-and dumped the trash out of the window. She changed the sheets, comforter, and pillow cases to fresh replacements and laid out clean but unused pajamas outside the bathroom door.

"Beast Boy, I am going to wash my hands..."

"Come back when you're done," he croaked out. When he knew she left, he morphed into a cocker spaniel, shook the water out of his fur, and slid into the monkey-faced pajama top and bottoms. He had just settled into the pillows and sheets and turned on a fan when Starfire came back holding a small jar. "I found this in the medicine cabinet...Will you be requiring it now?"

"Yes, please," he sniffed. "Can you rub it on my chest?"

He pulled the shirt up to his chin and sniffed. Starfire froze but scooped out a little ointment and proceeded to rub circles around his chest. "And...can you sing 'Soft Kitty, Green Kitty' for me, please?" he wheezed.

Starfire froze. "I beg you the pardon?"

"Rita, or Elasti-Girl, used to sing it to me when I was sick," he said. "It goes, Soft Kitty, Green Kitty..."

"Soft Kitty, Green Kitty..."

"Emerald ball of fluff..."

"Emerald ball of fluff," she choked through mild laughter.

"Pretty Kitty, Sleepy Kitty..."

"Pretty Kitty, Sleepy Kitty..."

"Purr purr purr..."

"Purr purr purr..."

"Can you do it alone?" he finally asked.

Down in the garage, Raven was completely shocked to see two little midgets dressed in white zoom in. "Cyborg...those little Spanish-speaking twins from the East are here!"

Mas y Menos smiled at her with toothy smiles and held up a grocery bag full of soup, saltines, medicine, orange juice, and Super Money Bro. VI. "Para Seňor Beast Boy," they said together.

Cyborg greeted the little guys and told them to follow Raven to Beast Boy's room. On the way there, however, she turned to the twins. "You boys do know that Beast Boy doesn't eat chicken, right?"

Mas y Menos' faces were priceless. "Beast Boy no comer el pollo..." they repeated between a question and remark.

Raven knocked on Beast Boy's door and leaned her ear against the door. She could hear Starfire singing something and immediately blushed. She turned to the twins, who were pigging out on some of the saltines, and smirked. "He's not in a good state...but would you like to see him?"

The twins eagerly nodded. They had grown used to Raven's powers, so when she slowly opened the door, they did not expect to see Starfire of Beast Boy's bed, singing and rubbing ointment on his chest.

She automatically paused and two sets of green eyes glanced at the smirking sorceress and laughing twins. Beast Boy's face burned and tears evaporated in the corners of his eyes.

Starfire managed to push the three out, lock the door, and continue what she was doing with Beast Boy.

"Soft Kitty, Green Kitty/Emerald ball of fluff/Pretty Kitty, Sleepy Kitty/Purr purr purr..."

Beast Boy later fell into a deep sleep and stayed in human form until the gel sank into his skin. Then he curled up into a cat and purred in his sleep.

When he woke up, his chest sticky but feeling better, he asked Starfire to bring up orange juice and Vitamin C chewables. Then she slid on winter gloves and rubbed his feet, shoulders, and neck, singing "Soft Kitty, Green Kitty" as she went. The smile on his face reminded her of 'the face' and made her feel happy that she was helping a sick little guy.

Suddenly he jerked and his face looked bloated. "Star, look away-"

He jumped to his window and vomited lurch after lurch of messed-up food. "Oh, God...I feel awful..."

Starfire could smell the oral waste, but she pinched her nose, carried him to the bathroom, and helped lower his face toward the toilet. "Thanks, Star..."

She hastily cleaned up that side of the tower, held her breath to avoid vomiting like him, and flew up to his bathroom. She cleaned his face, flushed the toilet, and carried him back to the bed. She sang for him again until his eyes closed. A snot bubble inflated and deflated, but otherwise he looked peaceful.

She continued feeding him, helping him into the bath, and cleaning up after him daily, but he always appreciated her singing to him.

Unfortunately, when she herself felt sick, there were no nursery rhymes to sing to her as her sneezes shook the tower and exploded part of her room and almost lit her hair on fire.

Secret: I'd rather read stories where Raven is Beast Boy's friend, not lover.