Hi everyone, welcome to my brand new fic :D
Warnings: self harm, attempted suicide, yaoi and lemons.
Before we start, I would just like to mention something: each chapter is named after a song, and whilst it isn't vital, listening to any chapter song or song performed in the fanfic will make it a lot easier to understand :D
Disclaimers: I don't own Death Note, or any of the bands and lyrics I mention.

Chapter 1; Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park

Matt POV

I stared at the building in front of me. The place was protected by wrought-iron gates, with carefully manicured lawns and white-washed brick walls. A golden plaque inscribed with the words Wammy's House: Academy for the Musically Gifted assured me that I was in the right place.

I suppose I should explain. My real name is Mail Jeevas, but I go by the name of Matt. I'm a 16 year old freak with no dreams or ambitions, unless you count waiting until the lung cancer from my chain smoking hits me and I can curl up and die.

Cheerful stuff, right?

Somehow my skills as a guitarist have landed me a scholarship to Wammy's House, a small private academy on the outskirts of Winchester where teenagers with a gift for music are invited to study and develop their skills, or so according to the brochure they sent me. Of course, I had jumped at the chance: anything to escape my shitty comprehensive school where all there was to look forward to was the end-of-school bell.

I was beginning to have second thoughts about this place however, you could hardly call the place welcoming and the gravel driveway seemed to be about a mile long. I didn't realise that I would be required to do such a large amount of exercise, I mean seriously. How many vehicles were they aiming to fit on this stretch, fifty?

I sighed, my uneasiness growing by the tenfold. I had no idea whether I would be accepted by the other pupils here, especially if they were as stuck up and snobby as the building suggested. I seriously hoped that I wasn't about to meet the modern day equivalent of Little Lord Fauntleroy.

Deciding that there was no point in putting off my entrance any longer I began to trudge towards the academy, my feet scuffing up the previously neat gravel on the drive. Oh well. This place probably had a billion servants around to fix the place up. Hell, for all I knew the Queen could live here or something. It was that extravagant.

As I approached the huge doors governed by an archway (honestly, what was this place? A fricken cathedral?) I noticed a blonde leaning against one of the oak trees planted in the lawn, tapping his foot against the ground in a steady rhythm. The Academy had a non-uniform policy and this guy was clearly taking full advantage of it- he was clad head to toe in leather. And I know the weather in September isn't exactly freezing, but surely it was too cold to just be in a vest, albeit a leather one? Maybe this guy was a masochist or something. Hey, I'm not one to judge, as the scars on my wrists prove time and time again.

….Pain helps me cope, okay?

Anyway, I approached Blondie slowly, thinking that I might as well try to make some friends while I was here. Besides, I needed someone to show me around, Wammy's was massive.

"Hey!" I called out as I got closer to him, but he ignored me. Frowning, I continued towards him only to notice the iPod earphones jammed in his ears. Well, at least that explained why he wasn't answering me…

Up close I could see that he his eyes were closed, his body swaying to the music and his hair being blown slightly in the wind. He had an attractive face too… not that I was focusing on it or anything. Nope.

I was about to give up and turn away in search of less-antisocial pupils (ha, like I had room to talk) when he opened his eyes, blinking away the dazedness before jolting slightly in shock.

"What the hell?" he demanded, raising an eyebrow. I raised my hands in surrender.

"Hey, cool it man, I just wanted to say hi…"

"What?"

I motioned at him to remove his earphones. Blondie complied, pausing his iPod before doing so and frowning at me.

"Who the fuck are you?" he asked whilst stuffing his iPod into his backpack, which I hadn't noticed until now. Mostly because I was too busy staring at his body. You can hardly blame me, after all. Those leather trousers were practically screaming "Fuck me!"

Or maybe I'm just a hormonal idiot.

Back to the present.

"I'm Matt."

He stared at me blankly.

"The new guy?" I tried again. Blondie shook his head. "Nope, it's not ringing any bells."

Well, that's nice. Glad to know that they're expecting my arrival.

"But then again," he continued, "I've never paid attention to any of that crap. I don't really care about new students."

"Thanks. I feel so welcome."

He shrugged in response. "Is there anything else?"

I opened my mouth to respond when I heard someone shout my name from the entrance.

"I gotta go," I said hastily, eager to find someone who actually knew I existed. "See you round, I guess…"

He nodded in response and I turned away, not sure what to make of the guy. I mean, sure he was hot and all, but that attitude stunk. It would have been nice for him to at least have learnt my name, after all new arrivals around here were supposed to be a big deal. Or maybe I was just being egotistical?

"Hello." The guy who had been waiting for me on the steps leading to the door greeted me. I raised an eyebrow; this boy was, well… weird. He had an explosion of black messy hair, large vacant dark eyes with massive bags underneath, and pale skin. On his feet he wore a pair of grubby sneakers accompanied by denim jeans and a white shirt (how anyone could keep something like that so clean is beyond me) and he was nibbling gently on his left thumbnail. He looked like someone had reanimated a corpse, minus the decay and maggots.

"Uh… hi…" I replied hesitantly. This guy had an unnerving habit of not blinking and his gaze was putting me off. "I'm Matt, I'm new here."

"I know. My name is L."

Strange name, that. I know my name, Mail, was a bit odd, but a single letter? I decided not to comment on it, I didn't need any enemies. This is conveniently excluding Blondie, obviously. I got the feeling he didn't like me much.

Which was a shame, because he was really good looking.

"Welcome to Wammy's house." L motioned for me to enter the hall. I looked around, the result being surprising. I was expecting pastel wallpaper and a fancy carpet, not plain blue walls and a scuffed wooden floor. At least it was less intimidating, I now felt slightly less like I was about to meet the royal family and more like a student at school.

There was a desk between two wooden staircases which led straight to the upper floor, and to my sides I could see corridors leading off somewhere. Behind the desk there sat a balding old man with glasses perched on the end of his nose. He gave me a disapproving glance as I stood still awkwardly, waiting for L to commence with the tour.

"That's Roger," L whispered, nodding in the direction of the old guy. "He's got a nasty temper, which personally I believe is due to the fact that he is working as a receptionist and caretaker in an academy for musical genii."

I nodded, ignoring the glare I received from Roger as L shepherded me into the corridor running off to the left. "What's down here?" I asked, taking mental notes of the door numbers. Believe me, I had no desire to end my days wandering lost in this labyrinth of a school. Although, it would be significantly cleaner than almost any suicide plan I could think up.

Just saying.

The corridor ended with a spacious dining room with a canteen across the far wall. I could smell something cooking already, and hopefully it wouldn't be disgusting. I've had my fair share of yucky school dinners thanks.

"This is the canteen," L said, nibbling on his right thumb. "I highly doubt I need to tell you what we do here."

"No, you'll have to enlighten me." I replied, trying to get a glance at whatever was being cooked.

L stared at me like I was crazy. "We eat here."

I sighed. "I was being sarcastic." Evidently my sense of humour was lost on him.

He nodded, before turning around and starting down the corridor again. However when we reached the reception L merely pointed to the end of the other corridor. "Down there are the classrooms 10-20 and the form room, where all the students gather when we are not in lessons.

"Unlike normal schools," L continued, "Wammy's doesn't separate by age. Everyone's in the same year here, and we only split up for certain lessons. The large majority of the students are in there already, so good luck."

After that bit of information- which for the record I already knew, I'm not a complete idiot- L began to ascend one of the staircases.

"Hey, wait!" I called. "Where are you going?" Was he expecting me to walk into a room with all the other pupils by myself? I'm probably one of the most socially awkward people in history, and L was going to abandon me in my time of need. Fantastic.

L stopped. "I'm going to the dormitories. Where else did you think they would be?"

Oh. Right. Not all pupils lived in the immediate area and the majority that didn't would room in the school, but since that didn't affect me as I live reasonably close by, I hadn't really put much thought into it.

I shrugged in response to L's question, not wanting to make myself seem even more like a moron.

"You can wait here for me if you like, I won't be long." L offered unexpectedly. I looked up at his face and his expression was genuine, he wasn't saying it just to wind me up or for some cheap laugh. Maybe this place wasn't so awful, I thought. Or maybe L's just a weirdo with no friends. Both were plausible, and under the circumstances, I was tempted to believe the latter.

"Thanks…" I answered, leaning against the wall and pulling out my iPhone whilst he headed upstairs and disappeared out of view. I can keep myself busy playing Angry Birds, after all.

I have no idea how long I had been playing for when Blondie stormed in, red in the face and clenched fists. "What?" he spat aggressively, noticing my curious glance.

Now I was certain that this guy was almost 100% douche. Jeez, take your anger out on someone else! Of course, I didn't say that out loud. I quite like the way my face looks and I didn't fancy any modifications. Especially painful ones.

Instead, I just shook my head.

He didn't bother to say anything else, he just sighed in irritation before brushing past me as he stomped down the hallway to the form room.

"What was that about?" I muttered to myself.

A few minutes later L returned, thank God. If I had been left with only the old geezer of a receptionist for company any longer, I would have gone insane.

L looked happy, as in he was actually smiling. I didn't think he was capable of showing emotion, but, you learn something new each day.

"What you grinning about?" I asked him as he descended the staircase.

"Huh?" he seemed dazed. "Nothing."

"Doesn't seem like nothing to me." I murmured. "Did you get what you needed?" That's when I realised he was empty handed, except for the backpack he had had with him before.

"Yes, but I didn't need to bring it with me. Anyway, shall we continue?"

That was a quick change in subject. Whatever. It's not like it's my business. "Sure."

We walked down the corridor, neither of us speaking. I was too busy trying to memorise the room numbers and their locations again. Several of the doors were ajar, and inside there were a wide range of instruments. One, for example, held several grand pianos whilst another was filled with cases for all kinds of strings. There were ordinary classrooms as well, containing desks and whiteboards and all those other objects that every school aged kid in the world detested with a passion.

I gulped at the sights. Would I even fit in here? The place was stuffed full of music genii and whilst yes, I am a talented guitarist; I am also antisocial and awkward as fuck. I didn't need everyone making fun of me. Been there, done that, got the metaphorical t-shirt.

I dug my nails into my palms, the way I always do when I'm stressed. This was one of the only coping mechanisms that worked for me, but because the world hated me it wasn't helping today.

"Are you alright?" L's voice cut through my thoughts.

"Yeah, fine…" I replied with a grimace. L simply stared at me before speaking again.

"This is the form room. As you know this school is small, so as of now we only have 10 pupils, including us. The large majority of them will be in there right now."

I hadn't realised during my worry that we had reached the door to the form room. I nodded uneasily. "You go first."

L complied, opening the door and entering. I could hear the sounds of laughter and teasing through the narrow crack L had somehow slipped through. Well, here goes nothing, I thought, as I took a deep breath before pushing the door open and entering the form room, wondering what kind of people were in there and whether I would be accepted by them. Would I belong?

I wanna heal, I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

Updates will probably be random, but i promise to try to update at least once a week.
...Let's see how long that resolution lasts...
Please review, I love the feedback, so thanks in advance if you do :D