A/N: Hope you enjoy the below. I shoved all the characters in a salad bowl, added some seasoning and tossed them. Primarily, this is a bit of fast moving, fluffy fun, with hardly any depth. A little one-shot, that, stuck in my brain one day, and wouldn't vacate. Please enjoy it along with me.

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing Twilight, nor do I earn anything from them. I just like messing with the characters.

This story has not been beta'd. Apologies Harrytwifan, if I have not applied your teaching properly.

It all started because of that goddamn movie. A film I still didn't know whether to love or hate. It brought me heaven and hell, in equal doses.

Me Edward Masen, small time actor, come model. I usually ended up in the part of the poor bastard that got killed off. If I was in Star Trek, I'd be the ensign in red; you know the one – that unknown character you already know will never make it back to the Enterprise.

It was quite a coo, when I was successful in getting the part of Benjamin Newly, star of the viral trilogy After Dusk. I played the part of a reclusive vampire of few words, and the ability to read minds. How I wish I had that talent in real life. I starred alongside Miss Isabella Swan, who played the character, Dextra Matthias, the stories heroine. There wasn't an 'A' list star in sight; the film's budget couldn't afford it. I guess in some ways, it made the whole thing more believable. No one at the time thought, more than one would be made.

The vampires in the film had small, fangs. They appeared at dusk, and disappeared at dawn. During the day, they walked the streets like other human beings. Their quirk allowed them to have relationships, if not slightly dysfunctional ones, with regular humans – hence the forbidden romance between the Ben and Dex. We were a band of brothers looking for potential mates.

According to the papers it was Ben and Dex's first kiss that captured the lust of the viewing public. I wasn't quite sure what made it so special. On the day, I ballsed up the takes; we ended up doing several. Don't get me wrong, part of being an actor, was, knowing, how to kiss an iguana and make it look sexy. Unfortunately earlier in the morning, I had some ariel shots to complete. Bungee cords were used to during the scene. I felt like I'd ridden the big dipper, all day. It whipped up my insides more efficiently than the latest super whisk. The thought of lunch aggravated my situation. During the afternoon love scene, I kept on hesitating. At the time, I wasn't sure whether I was going to throw up, or kiss my leading lady. Neither was a particularly delightful prospect.

I had to tell her to, "Don't move." I had to move to her else she'd have had my breakfast all over her.

Eventually, after taking a dose of Pepto Bismol, my insides returned to earth. By the time we wrapped; in truth, I think I'd have preferred kissing the iguana; there would have been more movement in the mouth area. To me it felt like she was greeting a long lost friend, rather than seducing the love of her life.

It was the first time I'd been on a movie set from start to finish. Faces were there one minute and gone the next. My fellow Newly's seemed like great people – exceptionally good looking guys. The women playing students didn't seem too bad either. Sadly, due to scheduling, I didn't get to see any of them much. Bella was the only person I got to do scenes with on a daily basis.

To the complete surprise of the studio's; for some reason the film took off, like a rocket. It just went to prove how fickle, the viewing audience could be.

At the movie awards, Ben and Dex won best kiss. That's when the games began. When I first heard of the award - being the dutiful actor - I was up for giving the fans what they wanted. That's when Bella started to play the fame game. At the last minute, on stage, she ducked out of the kiss, much to the disappointment of the viewing public. I decided to make light of the situation, and hopped off stage to grab a pillow. I spoke loving words to the object, dipped it towards the microphone and gave it a noisy kiss, to the applause of the amused crowd.

After that, the film studio and Hollywood pulled us along in a whirlwind. Fame took some getting used to; at times I didn't know my ass from my elbow. Before I knew what was happening, gossip columns made out, we were dating. Publicity pairings in public wasn't uncommon in Hollywood. Everything filmed in public was like an impromptu movie. I didn't overly object to it; I was happy to play their game, so long as I was allowed to have some privacy. Reporters had to have their story – it was part of being famous. After all, it wasn't as if I had a special someone in my life. If I did, it sure as hell wouldn't be a woman. I may have looked like, what they called, the classic Hollywood male, but there wasn't a straight bone in my body. My cock only reacted to, a hard body, and a tight ass. Not that Hollywood knew it. It was one of the reasons I did modelling earlier in life. A model's body was spectacular. In that community, everyone knew what went on behind the curtains; though, no one told.

There were a few Stars who were out and proud. For the most part the paparazzi were kept guessing. A gay man could be far sneakier than any woman. Eventually I would 'out' myself, but, it had to be at the right time.

I found it very interesting, how Joe Public, thought it was Hollywood that had the imagination. With just a few nudges from un-named sources, fans of the movies thought Ben and Dex's on screen romance, was a reflection of real life. Not a cat in hells chance.

To keep the illusion alive, the studio, tried to keep Bella and I apart from the others. That was the, hell, part. While under contract, they owned your ass. It meant no public dating for me, unless the girl on my arm was called Bella.

Fortunately, like in all movies there was a love triangle. Therefore, the guy that played the third wheel, Ford Gray, had to be included in the mix. The actors name was Jacob Black. The papers almost got their stories right. There was an on-set romance. Unfortunately, for them, it wasn't between Bella and me; it was between Jacob and me.

It all happened during the second movie. The story focussed on the development of Ford, and his obsession with Dextra. I was only on set, on and off, for a few of weeks, so Jacob and I shared a trailer. It was while in there, we alleviated each other's stress levels. There was nothing serious between us, purely mutual benefits. At least with him, I could be myself. No one thought it weird, seeing us on set chatting. In many ways he was my inspiration with Bella. In some of the scenes showing anguish at not being able to have her, I drew on my anxiety at not being able to kiss him in public. It wasn't so much kissing Jake, but the inability to date who I pleased, where I pleased. I didn't realize how restricting a contract could be.

Movie two in the bag, and once again Bella bailed at the Movie Awards for best kiss. This time she cited scheduling conflict. I was so pissed at her, I made a rash decision. Along with a comment of, "Someone's gonna get kissed tonight," I traipsed into the audience and kissed Jacob.

The fallout was amazing. The whole audience clapped and cheered. My mate Tony in London, reported, the kiss garnered so many tweets, it almost crashed a network.

Book three was the one when all the characters came together in the ultimate, 'save the heroine' chapters. By then Jake's character Ford had turned into a shape shifter, with a pack of his own. To save her we had to face an army of vampires from the South.

The outline of the book was:

An ex coven member of my brothers – Warren - played by Jasper Hale, visited him from Texas. She took a shine to me, and wanted me, for my abilities. She decided; the only way to accomplish her goal was to get rid of Dextra. Unfortunately for Maria, she couldn't get to her, due to the protection of my brothers. Of course, the plot wouldn't allow for Maria to belong to any Southern Coven, she had to belong to the biggest, bad ass group around. Said coven was on its way to dispose of anything in its way. That included, Dextra and my family.

Apart from the initial talky scenes, there was the obligatory, training scene. Jasper, aka Warren had to teach us the best way to defeat his Southern compatriots.

It was the first time in three years, that I got to work with my characters' family. We had so much fun during the training scenes; I actually got to talk and be physical with them.

It was clear; the actors playing my brothers had already bonded over the two previous films. A family dynamic had already developed.

Carlisle was the sophisticated, father figure, who, on set was very serious. Off set, he was the prankster.

One time, when wrap was called; it was at the end of a strategy meeting between father and son's. Carlisle, at the time, was sat next to Jasper. Carlisle, grabbed Jasper, and pulled him across his lap, maiden style, and said with a completely straight dramatic face, "Warren, I need to tell you... I'm not your real father. I can't lose you, I love you."

His words were delivered Shakespearian technique, as though he was on the London stage in an Oscar Wilde play. He then pretended to kiss him, old Hollywood style, on his chin; but made it look like something else. Everyone on set doubled with laughter; especially when Carlisle dumped him on the floor, and walked off. The whole scene was something for the blooper reel.

Emmett was a gentle giant - the polar opposite to his character. He loved his cuddles. He greeted everyone, male and female, with a cuddle, including me. He made me feel part of the family.

Jasper... oh Jasper; Warren, was stiff backed, ex military. He was a serious strategist, staid and stern to the point of being anal about it. As soon as the word, "Cut", was shouted; the smile that erupted on Jaspers' face, could rival the sun. His whole personality changed, to a more light-hearted, easy going individual. The Warren character, most definitely, didn't do the man Jasper, any favours.

That was when... I discovered my crush on Jasper. He was beautiful in body and mind. The more I saw, the more I liked. I just may have gotten a couple of my scenes with him wrong, so that I could spend more time with him.

From my point of view, and probably Jacob's; there was nothing, not to like about the whole training scene. Ford's pack members were there too. It was a week of filming with, a whole bunch of men getting hot and physical with each other.

Jacob noticed my infatuation and cornered me about it. There were no hang ups between us. What we had, was purely, friends with benefits. If anything he shared my thoughts on the man. He had no idea of Jasper was straight or not. All he knew was that Warren, for the purposes of the story, had been paired with a Tinkerbelle lookalike, called Alice. After hours Jasper would usually disappear from set; whereas, Jake and I would go to his trailer and swap fantasies.

I was sad when filming was over. Publicity runs paired me with Bella and on the odd occasion with Jake. The whole cast only came together on special edition shows.

Bens' final scene with Dextra earned us another best kiss nomination.

The fans were getting truly excited. The day of the awards arrived quickly. It was one of the last occasions we would all be together, before permanently separating.

Embarrassingly, that very day a scandal erupted. News of casting couch revelations hit the headlines, and Bella was in the centre of it all.

Of course we heard at the last minute, she ditched the ceremony.

Walking the red carpet was a feeding frenzy of photographers and paparazzi. The organizers did their best to keep them at bay, but their shouted questions could be heard, even echoed by the fans.

"Edward, what have you got to say about the Bellagate affair?"

"Edward, have you two split now?"

"Edward... Edward... Edward."

I felt like running for the nearest car and shouting, "Drive!" to whoever was behind the wheel.

The organizers decided to rescue me, and herded me into the theatre. In view of the scandal, they broke protocol. They informed me, Ben and Dextra had won the best kiss award, and asked me what I wanted to do about it.

I didn't have anything planned; so, I told them to continue as normal and I'd think of something.

I approached Jacob in a panic. I grabbed him and headed for the rest rooms. Once we had privacy, my emotions took over, as I explained the situation. Although Jake and I were of similar age, he had been in the business since he was a kid.

"What the fuck should I do Jake?" I asked, visibly shaking.

"What do you want to happen?"

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?" Almost hyperventilating; I couldn't understand how Jake could remain the picture of calm.

"What I mean is... do you want to duck out, and let it go to someone else, or go ahead with it?"

I thought for a minute. In that short period, panic turned into anger. "I don't want to let that bitch spoil everything. We managed with the other two; if she spoils this one, it's all anyone will remember. That's not fair to any of the actors."

"True. How distracting are you prepared to go?" He asked with a twinkle in his eye.

"I kissed you last year. How much different can it get."

I could virtually see the cogs in Jakes head turning.

"We could do something similar, only on stage this time?"

"I'd kiss the pope on stage if it would distract from what Bella is up to." I answered, desperately.

After a while, he asked, "Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Okay then, you go up to receive the award, and I'll come on stage part way through. We'll wing it from there."

"Sounds like a plan."

I let the organizers know to go ahead as planned.

"AND THE WINNER FOR BEST KISS GOES TO...BEN AND DEXTRA. EDWARD MASEN AND BELLA SWAN."

Alone, I rose from my seat and made my way to the stage.

The polite clapping was mixed with whispers of the scandal, and questions of how I was going to handle the speech.

As I approached the microphone to start my thanks, giggles broke out in the audience, accompanied by a few whistles.

Looking around I laughed at the approaching figure. Jake bless his heart was stumbling along with only his toes in a pair of borrowed silver heels.

That wasn't all.

He'd put on a black and white sequined dress, that was so short, you could clearly see his boxers hang below, and a long brown wig. A microphone was holding it in place.

The audience could hear his mumbles of, "Ooh, Ooh, ow, ow. How the fuck do women walk in these things. Torture doesn't cover it."

Well that was going to have to be bleeped out.

Part way across the stage, after nearly breaking his neck twice, I ran to help him. Holding onto my arm he bent down, retrieved the shoes and threw them back to the stage hands.

When we got to the stand, his opening words, in his low manly voice, were, "Guys, if your partner, suggests cross dressing... don't."

He completely took over the stage – I was stunned and more than happy to let him proceed.

In a high pitched, Bella impression he began his acceptance speech.

"Ladies and gentlemen... Edward."

Jake flicked his long locks back like a pro.

"For the last two years, I've blown you... oops sorry, blown you off. Sorry that didn't come out right either."

Playing along, I interjected, "You never did blow me Bella."

Jake put a finger to his lips in thought, "MMM, I wonder who it was then? Oh well." He threw up his hands in a submissive gesture.

"Edward, the last few years, I have neglected my duties to perform a lip lock for ALL, these wonderful people out there.

At last years' event, the audience seemed, to much prefer, your smooch with the ADORABLE Jacob. Who can blame them? So, this year I have arranged something even better."

While Jake graced the audience with his Colgate white, grin; I wondered what the hell he'd organised.

Jake removed his wig, signifying the end of Bella.

In his normal voice, he addressed the audience and me.

"Ladies and gentlemen, fans...Edward. May this be a lip lock you never forget. Put your hands together, and welcome to the stage, Emmett McCarthy, Carlisle Cullen and Jasper Hale."

Holy fucking Christ.

With a peck on the lips, Jake mumbled, "Enjoy."

They all approached sporting huge mischievous grins.

Emmett, who was a head and shoulders taller than me, picked me up, via the armpits, and planted a puckered, noisy kiss to my lips. It was reminiscent of Bugs Bunny kissing Elmer Fudd.

He didn't put me down properly. Instead, he turned around and placed me in the embrace of Carlisle.

Carlisle looked at the audience, who where whooping and clapping. He wiggled his eyebrows, and smirked. I wasn't quite sure what I looked like in his arms.

"Edward, Edward, for all these years, I've seen you from afar. I've always wanted to do this."

He looked to the audience for approval. The cat calls got louder.

He announced, "Who do you think he came to for smooch advice?" before making a big show of going in for the kill. He didn't kiss my chin. He kissed me on the lips.

The man definitely knew how to kiss. It may have looked theatrical, but his mouth was supple and experienced.

When Carlisle finished his performance, he stood me upright and bowed to the audience.

When he stepped back, he revealed Jasper, who was stood quietly behind him. My mouth went dry.

The audience were going wild, chanting, "Jasper, Jasper, Jasper."

The sound faded into the background. Jasper had caught me in an eye lock, and didn't let go.

Slowly he approached.

I gulped.

His right hand caught my waist. His left slid around my neck. Automatically my arms circled his torso.

He drew me in, as though there was all the time in the world.

"Carlisle stole my lines," he murmured.

His lips touched mine.

Oh god.

They touched them again, with more force. Mine puckered in reply.

He smiled, pulled my body in tighter. We met full force.

I let myself melt into his arms and beautiful mouth. I didn't care about the world looking on. They would make of it what they would.

Jasper's jaw moved in sync with his quarry. I was happy to submit.

His hand slipped into my hair, angling my head for better access. I willingly gave it.

Jaspers' tongue caressed mine, and I knew from that moment... I was his. I could feel his reaction to me, in his groin, as I was sure he could feel mine.

We broke apart, too soon...far too soon. He kissed my neck and whispered, "Can I keep you?"

"Yes."

We kissed again. I wanted more, much more, but what I wanted could not be had on stage.

The scene was broken up by Jake announcing, "I think it's time we left you to your imaginations, or this show may need a new rating, and a midnight watershed."

The end