A/N: I would like to thank Ranma (from the first time I uploaded chapter one...), Suga Baby, Slone, RainChild and someone who didn't leave their name for the very kind reviews....
And Cyberwolf, I have no idea what you're talking about *whistles innocently*
And then it hit him...
He was supposed to be Austin Powers. Harry groaned and lay back on the bed, closing his eyes as though that would shut out this horrifying prospect. Certainly the movie had been funny enough--but he did not want to relive it. That was about when something else hit him. Ginny and Fred (or George) had called him Austin--as if they hadn't known to call him anything else. He opened his eyes to find their concerned gazes on him.
"Er...Ginny?"
The young woman's look turned from concerned to confused. "I'm sorry? Was Ginny a girlfriend of yours?"
Harry quickly shook his head in the negative, and then groaned when a lancing pain reverberated through his skull. He put his hand to his head, frowning when it encountered a heavy cloth. He closed his eyes again. This was not happening...he was not lying here in some strange place, and George (or Fred) and Ginny had not forgotten who they were or who he was. And who knew where Hermione, Ron and the other twin was at?
"Basil," the not Ginny asked softly, "D'you think he's really well enough? I could...come back later if not." She sounded as though she'd rather not resort to that.
Harry very nearly choked as he tried to hold back the amazed laughter. One of the twins that Basil Exposition guy? He was the most stoic, rule-abiding character in the whole movie, two things he did not think of when thinking of Fred and George. They were more like Austin than he could ever hope to be (and he most definitely did NOT). In fact, if either one knew about this, they'd probably have a heart attack or something.
"Oh yes, I absolutely certain he's perfectly well enough for the job," Fred or George (Harry couldn't quite think of him as Basil without having to keep from laughing) stated with assurance. "Austin, I'd like you to meet Agent Rita Book, codename Sixty-Nine."
Harry smiled and held out his hand. "Nice to meet you Miss Book."
The girl looked a bit relieved and gave Basil (it was easier than trying to figure out which twin he was) a sideways glance, even as she clasped his hand. Harry felt a slight jolt as their hands touched, but he decided it was his imagination a few seconds later.
"It's nice to meet you as well Mister Powers. Basil here has been telling me quite a bit about you." Again, she gave the other man a confused little glance.
Basil, for his part was again frowning in concern. "Perhaps you aren't well enough after all Austin..."
"I'm well enough!" Harry quickly inserted. He had no idea as to what it was that he needed to be in good shape for, but somehow, he knew that if he stayed here he would have no chance of finding the others, or how to get out of wherever they had been sent to. Searching his mind for a reasonable excuse for not acting how this Austin character should act (besides the obvious reason that he wasn't Austin), he remembered what he had heard upon first waking. "I am a bit...groggy though."
To his relief, Basil gave him a beaming smile (honestly, if Fred or George only knew how much they were acting like Percy, they'd have an apoplexy). "That's wonderful news Austin. I'm going to leave you two alone now, no funny business Austin. Agent Book will fill you in on the details."
Harry frowned as he watched Basil leave, wondering what the man could possibly mean. Then he shrugged and turned to Ginny. She was staring at him oddly and after a few minutes he asked impatiently, "Well?"
Agent Book cleared her throat slightly and shook her head. "Dr. Evil has kidnapped Basil Exposition..."
"I thought the guy who just left was Basil?" Harry asked, more confused than ever now."
"Well, yes, he is the real Basil...but it seems that he has a look-alike. We recieved this footage in the mail today." She took what looked like a fancy remote to a telly and pointed at the wall, pressing a button as she did so. Almost at once a large screen came out of the wall. Ginny pressed another button and the screen came to life.
Harry gaped as he stared at his best friend. For it was Ron who stared back with a malicious sneer. It would have been effective, except that he was completely bald and was holding his pinky finger up to his lower lip. Harry let loose a small groan. This was not happening. It was not!
"Ministry of Defense!" Ron shouted, "I have kidnapped Basil Exposition, and unless you give me five billion, kazillion, trillion, million bumbalillion, tillion analyxiillion galleons I will...what?" Ron turned his face to someone offscreen. Another voice could be heard, though it was muffled. "Whatever Scott, talk to the hand." He turned back to the screen. "As I was saying, unless I recieve payment...I will launch Mister Exposition into the sun! Muahahahahahahaha, muahahahaha, muahahaha! Oh and just in case you don't believe me..."
The screen switched views and the other twin was shown, tied up in the corner and looking very frazzled indeed. "Ron you prat, let me go! This isn't funny! Stop pretending! I'm George, not Basil Exposition! I mean c'mon!" The screen then switched back to Ron, "Nice try Exposition. Remember, by midnight tomorrow night!" The screen went blank.
At least that answered Harry's question as to which was which.