Fandom Star Trek (AOS), specifically Star Trek into Darkness
Character(s)/Pairing(s) Pavel Chekov, Jim Kirk, Leonard McCoy, Hikaru Sulu; Chekov/Sulu (Chulu) (pre-relationship)
Genre Coda/Drama/Slash
Rating PG
Word Count 1,154
Disclaimer Star Trek c. Paramount, CBS, Roddenberry
Summary Chekov's guilt weighs on him. Talking to Sulu and Kirk helps alleviate some of it.
Warning(s) spoilers for Star Trek into Darkness (2013) and possible spoilers for XI, TOS, and the TOS movies.
Notes I'm actually really surprised this isn't a thing in the fandom. Then again, I'm surprised Chulu isn't a thing in the AOS fandom, this particular plot aside.

Fault and Trust

Chekov and Sulu had the same shift at the helm. When they were on away missions, they always seemed to share the same cell, hut, or wherever the indigenous species put them. Chekov knew of Sulu's portable botanical collection. Sulu actually listened to Chekov when he talked about growing up in Russia. They did not have to discuss where they were staying when they disembarked the Enterprise. They would share a double room in the Starfleet accommodations for personnel who were not staying on Earth for long.

Sulu had gone to place his portable botany collection in the botany building on campus. Chekov sat alone on the bed nearest the window with his thoughts. His legs dangled over the side nearest the window. He almost did not register when the clouds moves in and it began to rain. Chekov heard the door open soon after, but he did not process the sound. Sulu sat down beside him, damp around the edges.

"How was your day?" Chekov asked after a long time.

"I sat in the captain's chair," Sulu said. "I threatened to shoot sleeping people at a lunatic." Sulu paused and his eyes moved from the city to Chekov's profile. "What about you?"

Chekov still watched the rain. "I killed the Captain," he murmured, accent thicker. He had no need to enunciate each syllable carefully around Sulu.

"I thought he was in a coma," Sulu said. "At least that's what Fisher said. McCoy can't get him out of it for a while or something."

"No," Chekov said. "He died. He fixed the warp drive core. The radiation killed him. I saw…" his voice trailed. When Scott returned, things were still too chaotic to leave Engineering. No one told Chekov to return to the bridge. He had not seen Kirk enter the compartment, nor had he been near when Spock and Kirk said their goodbyes. However, he heard Spock's wail of rage and he watched when McCoy and the medical staff safely pulled Kirk's body out from the radiation lock.

Sulu nudged Chekov's leg with his own. Chekov's gaze finally averted from the window and did not quite meet Sulu's eyes. "If the captain was really dead," Sulu said, "don't you think everyone would be talking about a funeral? Maybe there's a good reason that Dr. McCoy needed Spock to bring Khan back alive."

Chekov's eyes met Sulu's gaze then. "What?"

Sulu took a breath and explained the chaos on the bridge that led to Uhura beaming down to speak sense to Spock. "I don't know all the details," Sulu said, "but that sounds like he's going to live, don't you think?"

Chekov nodded. He still felt responsible. "Thank you, Hikaru." He closed his eyes when Sulu placed a brief kiss to his temple. It was not the first of such a gesture between them, but the gesture was rare still.

As Sulu predicted, McCoy found a solution and brought Kirk back from the dead. The crew of the Enterprise kept each other in the loop regarding their captain's situation. Chekov meant to visit Kirk properly, but he never could bring himself to enter the room. He could see Kirk lying on the biobed in the hospital from the doorway. Even though Kirk was breathing, Chekov could not forget the corpse McCoy pulled from the chamber. Chekov never stayed long.

A little over two weeks later, Chekov approached the hospital and stopped walking. Just ahead, Kirk stepped out of the doors. He looked paler and tired. McCoy stood beside Kirk, making sure Kirk was indeed all right. The two senior officers spotted Chekov at the same time. Kirk brightened and gave a small wave.

Chekov shifted his weight and walked over. "Captain," he greeted them, "Doctor."

Kirk slapped McCoy's arm gently. "I'll catch you later, Bones."

"Jim," McCoy paused, eyes passing over both Kirk and Chekov, "just don't overdo it."

"I won't," Kirk said. His movements were stiff, but he could walk in a straight line and he did not appear to be in pain. He fell in step with Chekov. They walked down a path on the hospital's grounds. The plants around them were plants that were the least likely to cause allergic reactions. It made for a strange garden.

"Captain…" Chekov began, but he did not know how to finish. "I am very sorry, Captain."

Kirk took a deep breath. He was thinking about his response. "It's not your fault, Chekov." He stopped walking. No one was around to see or hear them. "Do you know why I picked you to take charge of Engineering?"

"N – No, sir," Chekov said. He had been trying to figure that out since Kirk gave the order.

"I needed someone I could trust," Kirk said. "We were going into enemy territory."

Chekov could feel Kirk's gaze on him. Chekov swallowed and raised his eyes to meet that gaze.

"I don't regret it," Kirk said.

"Sir?" Chekov asked.

"When I needed you, you were where I needed you," Kirk said. "You didn't cause the warp reactor coil to fail. You were handling things that needed to be dealt with when I went into that chamber." Kirk made sure Chekov still kept his gaze. "None of this is your fault."

Chekov said nothing. Kirk looked away and then they both continued down the rest of the path together. When they got to the end of the path, Kirk turned to Chekov. "I'll see you later."

"Yes, Captain," Chekov said. He paused, licked his lips, and said, "It's good to see you again."

Kirk smiled and then he left. Chekov watched him leave a moment and then he went in the opposite direction. His feet led him to the botany building on campus. He found Sulu writing observations down in a datapad. Chekov sat down on the empty stool beside Sulu.

"Did you talk to him today?" Sulu asked.

"Yes," Chekov said. "He's out of the hospital." Chekov watched Sulu's hand working the stylus along the screen.

Once Sulu finished writing out the thought in his head, he set the stylus down. "Do you feel better?"

Chekov ran his tongue along his teeth. "Yes." He nodded. "A little." Not completely. His lips curved into a small smile. Then he let his foot knock gently against Sulu's leg. "You should tell me about being captain."

Sulu smiled. "It was intense," he said, "but it's definitely where I want to be. I can't be at the helm forever."

Chekov nodded. "Me too." He slid off the stool. "We will be admirals."

"Yeah, we will," Sulu agreed.

Chekov touched Sulu's arm briefly and then he left the botany building. The sun was shining and in a few weeks, they would be on their first five-year mission. Despite the harrows of the last mission, Chekov felt like he was in the right place at the right time. Soon he would be home in space.

The End